by Chloe Walsh
"What?" Mam came barreling out of the kitchen, only to halt in her tracks when she saw who was standing in the doorway behind me. "Oh my god." She pressed a hand to her chest and staggered backwards.
"Hello, Marie."
"Mam." Shaking violently, I scrambled across the floor on my hands and knees and clung to her leg. "Mam!"
"Teddy," Mam croaked out, shaking as much as I was. "You're not allowed to be here."
He held his hands up. "I only want to talk to you." He took another step inside the house, swaying on his feet a little as he moved. "I'm not going to hurt you anymore, darling."
He's lying.
I shook my head. "Mam, no, don't listen!"
"You need to go," Mam gasped, backing up and taking me with her. "You need to leave now."
"Marie," he said in that coaxing voice of his, slurring his words. "We're a family." He closed the door behind him and turned the lock. "We need to be together."
"No." Mam shook her head. "No, no, you need to go now."
"Are the children in bed?" he asked, ignoring her pleas, as he slipped the house key into his pocket. "That's good." He took another step towards us. "It's best they stay asleep."
"Teddy…" Mam's voice cracked. "Please don't –"
"It's okay, Marie," Dad coaxed. "We'll all be together again."
This is bad, Shannon.
This is really bad.
You need to get out.
Go.
Run…
Letting go of my mother's leg, I lunged for the staircase with every inch of my body locked tight in fearful anticipation.
"Good girl, Shannon, I'm not going to hurt you," Dad slurred. "Go on up to bed now and close your eyes. Everything will be better in the morning."
Choosing to escape rather than stick around and wait for him to change his mind, I stumbled up the staircase as fast as my legs could carry me.
"What's going on?" Tadhg demanded, peeking out from his bedroom. "Shan –"
"Lock your doors," I choked out. "He's back."
Tadhg's eyes widened in fear. "Wh-what?"
"Lock your fucking door, Tadhg!" I screamed. "This isn't a joke."
He ran back into his room and bolted the door.
Breathing hard, I ran into my own bedroom and slammed the door shut. Flicking the lock, I looked around wildly as panic clawed at my gut. With my survival instincts kicking in, I lunged for my dresser and pushed with all my might until it was blocking the door. Still frantic, I dragged my bedside locker over, too.
His voice was there.
I could hear it.
I could hear her.
They weren't screaming or shouting.
They were talking.
Why were they talking?
Flailing around, I tried to catch my breath, but it wasn't coming easy to me. Diving for my bed, I slipped under the covers and roughly pulled the duvet over my head. Something clattered on the floor then and I stiffened.
My phone.
Trembling, I shoved the duvet off and swiped it off the floor. I didn't even think about what I was doing as I dialed. It was like I was moving on instinct. Pressing call, I put the phone to my ear and held my breath.
"Gibs," Johnny's sleepy voice came down the line, bringing with it a tsunami of relief. "If this isn't an emergency, I'm going to wring your bleeding neck."
"H-hi, Johnny."
"Shannon?" His voice was softer now. "Are you okay?"
I shook my head and jerked to my feet, unable to sit still. "No."
"What's wrong?" Concern filled his voice. "What's happening?"
I couldn't speak.
I couldn't say it out loud.
"Talk to me, Shan," he coaxed. "Hmm?"
"He's here," I choked out. "He's downstairs and I'm scared."
"What do you mean?"
"My dad," I strangled out. "He's in the house, Johnny."
"Can you get out?" he demanded.
"No." I shook my head and bit back a sob. "He's in the kitchen. I can't go back down there."
"I'm on my way," he replied without hesitation. "I'm leaving right now."
"I'm sorry," I whispered, sinking back down on my bed.
"Don't say sorry," he told me. "Are you safe? Are you in your room?"
"Yeah." I nodded. "My door's locked."
"I'm in my car now, Shan," he said. "I'll be as fast as I can."
"They're not shouting," I strangled out. "Why aren't they shouting?"
"I don't know, baby," he growled. "But I'm coming."
"Something's wrong," I bit out. "He's different tonight. I don't know what's happening, Johnny, but something's very wrong. I can feel it in my bones."
"I'm going to get you out of there," he vowed. "I promise. I'm going to take you out of that fucking hole and you're never going back."
"Johnny, I'm really scared."
"I know," he coaxed. "I know, baby, but I'm coming." He sighed heavily. "Shannon, I love you."
"I love you, too, Johnny," I whispered, ending the call. I knew it was selfish to call him in the middle of the night and drag him from his bed, but I honestly couldn’t take another second of this. I felt like I was close to the edge of something that I wasn’t sure I could come back from.
I was afraid of dying in this house.
I held my breath, not daring to breathe too loudly, listening to the deathly calm sound of my father's voice.
Why wasn't he shouting?
Why wasn't she shouting?
Oh god, I couldn’t do this anymore.
I couldn’t be in this house.
I needed an out.
I counted down the thirty-three minutes I knew it took to get from his house to mine, and when he didn’t arrive at the projected time, the panic inside of me flourished into a monster sized knot of fear, gripping at my lungs, and making it hard to breathe.
Restless, I ran my hands through my hair at least a dozen times before giving up and fixing it into a braid down my right shoulder.
Footsteps on the staircase filled my ears and I flinched.
Hurry up.
Please hurry up.
Slipping on my runners, I leaned against my bedroom window with bated breath and stared out onto the street.
The more time that passed, and the louder the noise downstairs grew, the more of a paranoid wreck I became.
By the time the familiar headlights pulled onto the street, my breathing was audibly uneven.
A knock sounded on the other side of door and my body instinctively seized with dread. "Are you in bed, Shannon?" my father's voice called out from the other side of the door.
My eyes were wild and panicked as I glanced from my door to the window. "Yes," I managed to strangle out, though it was hard to breathe from the panic consuming me.
"Good girl," he called back and the sound of something spilling on the floor outside my door filled my ears. "Go to sleep now, Shannon." The stench of alcohol wafted under my bedroom door and terror clawed at my chest. "Your brothers are all sleeping, too," he added. "Just close your eyes and it'll all be better in the morning."
"Okay," I croaked out, trembling from head to toe, as I pushed open my bedroom window and climbed onto the ledge. "G-goodnight Dad."
64
Get Them Out
Johnny
Jerking awake, I remained perfectly still and listened for the noise I was certain had woken me. A few seconds later and the familiar vibrating sound filled my ears. Shifting around, I felt for my phone, grabbing it out from under my pillow. Bleary eyed and half asleep, I clicked the accept button and put it to my ear. "Gibs, if this isn't an emergency, I'm going to wring your bleeding neck."
"H-hi, Johnny."
At the sound of Shannon's voice, I was instantly alert. "Shannon?" Pulling myself up on my elbows, I ran a hand through my hair and tried to blink awake. Twisting sideways, I glanced at the alarm clock on my nightstand. 01:23 it read. "Are you okay?"
"No," her voice was so hushed it was barely audible.
"What's wrong?" I demanded. "What's happening?" The sound of sniffling coming from the other end of the line had me throwing off my covers. "Talk to me, Shan," I coaxed, voice still thick from sleep, as I rummaged around in the darkness for my clothes. "Hmm?"
"He's here," she choked out, voice laced with fear. "He's downstairs and I'm scared."
"What do you mean?"
"My dad," she strangled out. "He's in the house, Johnny."
Fuck. "Can you get out?"
"No. He's in the kitchen. I can't go back down there."
Shite. "I'm on my way," I replied, snatching my keys off my desk and moving for the door. "I'm leaving right now."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't say sorry." Thundering down the staircase, I darted through the hallway. "Are you safe?" Skidding across the kitchen, I bolted through the utility room and out the back door. "Are you in your room?" Please tell me you're in your room…
"Yeah, my door's locked."
Thank Jesus. "I'm in my car now, Shan," I said as I unlocked my car and climbed inside. Balancing my phone between my ear and my shoulder, I turned the key in the ignition and tore off, sending gravel spraying everywhere. "I'll be as fast as I can."
"They're not shouting," she told me and the terror I could hear in her voice was crippling. "Why aren't they shouting?"
"I don't know, baby," I choked out. "But I'm coming."
"Something's wrong," she said in a small voice. "He's different tonight. I don't know what's happening, Johnny, but something's very wrong. I can feel it in my bones."
"I'm going to get you out of there," I hissed, struggling to rein in my fury. "I promise. I'm going to take you out of that fucking hole and you're never going back."
"Johnny, I'm really scared," she sobbed.
"I know." Using one hand to steer, I dragged my seatbelt across my chest with the other and snapped it into place. "I know, baby, but I'm coming." Gripping the wheel, I had the biggest urge to tell her that I loved her. A voice inside of my head was screaming do it now because you might not get another chance. "Shannon, I love you."
"I love you, too, Johnny," she whispered and then the line went dead.
"Fuck!" Slamming my hand down on the steering wheel, I drove like a deranged lunatic all the way to her house.
When I pulled up outside Shannon's house half an hour later and climbed out of my car, I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. Wholly enraged, I stalked up the overgrown garden path with every intention of kicking the fucking door down to get my girlfriend out of that house.
"Johnny?" Shannon's voice filled my ears and I backtracked, gaze landing on her bedroom window on the second level of the house.
Jesus Christ.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa –" I held my hands up, pulse racing. "Don’t come out there, baby," I warned her, watching with my heart in my mouth as she climbed onto the windowsill and lowered herself onto the shitty veranda. I knew it was shitty because I'd almost cracked my neck climbing up there. Shannon was dressed in a pair of navy pajama shorts and vest and had a worn pair of runners on her tiny feet. No hoodie. No jacket. Nothing. "Just climb back in," I coaxed, panicking at the sight of her up there. "And I'll come inside and get you."
"I can't." She shook her head and continued to shimmy on her ass to the edge of the veranda. "He locked the door."
"Throw me down your keys," I called back. "Don't climb down here –"
"No, no, no, you don't understand," she whispered. "He's acting really strange, Johnny, and I don't want him to know I'm leaving. Just catch me, okay?"
Ah fuck.
"Shannon, you're going to hurt yourself," I strangled out, in full-blown panic mode now. "You can't climb down from there, baby. You're too small."
"Don’t go near the door, Johnny," she begged when I moved to do just that. "Please! Just…just break my fall, okay?"
Furious, I bit down a snarl and walked to the edge of the path, feeling thankful as hell that I was almost 6'4. "Okay." Reaching up, I held my hands out to her, praying she had the dexterity to not trip up and break her bleeding neck. "Nice and slow."
She nudged herself to the edge of the veranda and I panicked. "Don’t jump," I warned her. "Just drop your legs down, and I'll grab them."
Thankfully, Shannon listened to me and gingerly lowered her legs. "Good job." Catching ahold of her legs, I wrapped an arm around them and held my free hand up for her to take. "I've got you," I promised. "Trust me –"
I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence, because Shannon quite literally flung herself down to me.
Catching her easily, I hooked an arm around her back and lowered her to her feet. "Don't you ever do that to me again," I choked out, breathing hard from the almost heart-attack she gave me. "You could have killed yourself."
"Sorry," she whispered, burying her face in my chest. "Thanks for coming."
"Where's Joey?" I asked as I led her to my car.
"He's gone, Johnny," she sobbed. "He left."
"And Darren?"
"He went to find Joey," she sniffled, sinking into the passenger seat. "It's all gone to hell."
"Is your mother in there with him?"
She nodded. "I couldn't do anything. He just…he just showed up and she was standing there. I was afraid so I ran and left her with him."
"Good," I told her, drowning in the relief that she had the good sense to run.
"No, no, it's not," she argued weakly, sounding confused. "It's not good at all." Shaking her head, she pressed her fingers to her temples and exhaled a ragged breath. "He came upstairs to make sure I was asleep and he was being nice." She looked up at me, wide-eyed and terrified. "I don't understand what's happening here."
"Where are the boys?"
"In their rooms." She dropped her head in her hands and sobbed. "I panicked. I should have brought them in my room with me, but I…I couldn't think straight."
Jesus Christ. "Okay." Trying to keep my voice calm, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. "I'll call the Gards. He's not allowed to be here. They'll arrest him –"
"Wh-what? Johnny no, no, no –" Shaking her head, Shannon lunged for my phone. "If you call them, they'll take us away right now," she choked out, panicking. "I'll be sent away." Tears streamed down her cheeks. "I won't see you again."
"No, you won't," I tried to coax. "Nobody's going to take you anywhere –"
"You don't understand," she sobbed. "You don't know how it works, but I do."
I stood there, feeling at a complete fucking loss. What the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn't just walk away from this. "Shannon," I tried again. "I won't let anyone take you. My parents said that they'll –"
"You don't get it," she sniffled, cutting me off. "If the Gards come, they'll call Patricia and the social workers." A huge sob racked through her frail body. "We'll be removed from the house, and you won't be able to stop that. No one will."
"You can't live like this, baby," I choked out, feeling the anger rattle through me. "It has to stop."
"I know," she sobbed. "I just don't know how to stop it."
Releasing a low growl, I ran my hands through my hair and looked back to the house. "Listen, just stay in the car, lock all of the doors, and wait for me."
"Johnny –"
"Just stay here," I said, trying to keep my tone gentle. "I need to get the boys. I can't leave them in there with him, okay?"
"No!" Springing out of the car, she clutched my t-shirt. "He wants us all in bed. If he sees you, he'll know I called you – he'll know I'm not in bed – and I don't know what he'll do." She shook her head vehemently, fingers knotting tightly in my t-shirt. "He's calm now, but if you go in there, he could hurt them. He could hurt you! You don't know what he's capable of, Johnny. You don't!"
Red flags were shooting up all around me. "I won't let him see me," I told her, keeping my voice steady. "I'll sneak in, get the boys, and I won't get caught. I promise. But I can't leave them inside that house, Shannon."
She looked torn, watchi
ng me with a pleading expression. "Then I'll come with you–"
"No, you won't," I practically hissed, guiding her back into the passenger seat, my heart hammering at the thought of her going anywhere near that man. "Just stay in the car, baby," I ordered, slamming the door shut before she had a chance to respond, and hurrying back to the house.
My hands were shaking when I grabbed the wheelie bin and quietly dragged it over to the veranda. I hated heights, but not as badly as I hated this bleeding house. Climbing on top of the bin, I hoisted myself up onto the veranda, trying not to think about what I was doing, and praying Shannon had the good sense to stay in the car. Grabbing the window ledge, I hauled myself through her bedroom window, careful not to make a noise. The overwhelming stench of whiskey was the first thing that hit my senses as I quickly moved the furniture she had piled against the door.
Drunk bastard.
Every instinct inside of me demanded that I go downstairs and rip his fucking head off, but my brain was louder, screaming at me to get these kids out of this house, and take Shannon away from here.
Don't lose it, I mentally chanted as I worked to clear my path, be smart.
You can't protect her if you're in a prison cell, Johnny.
Keep your goddamn head.
They've been through enough.
Get them out of here!
Heart hammering in my chest, I unlocked her bedroom door and slowly pulled it inwards, wincing when it creaked. The silence in the house was eerie and the hushed voices drifting up from the kitchen had me on edge. Shannon was right. Something was very wrong about this picture. Stepping over a puddle of god knows what, I crept into the landing only to freeze in terror when my eyes landed on Sean who was toddling down the steps on his bottom.
On complete impulse, driven forward by my gut instinct that was screaming danger, I whispered his name, "Sean."
He paused on the turn of the staircase and looked up at me, wide-eyed and fearful, and I swear to god, my heart cracked clean open in my chest.