“But what if they can’t forgive me? What if they never want me to see Lainey again?” She sniffed. “What if Mitch never wants to see me again?”
Mrs. Tingle’s lower lip rolled in as she thought about Kate’s questions, and then she nodded. “You know, my mama always told me that if you wanted to try and figure out the reason a person was acting a certain way, you needed to put yourself in their shoes. Think about this from Mitch’s perspective. Everything he’s heard about you has been negative. He knows you as a person who deceived one of his friends, and the type of loyalty a man like Mitch has keeps him from wanting to do anything that would allow one of his friends to get hurt. Perhaps he’s thinking that he will be hurting Chad if he befriends you, and even more if he had a relationship with you.”
Kate shook her head. “I don’t think that’s it, Mrs. Tingle, or not entirely. He was angry because he thinks I’m going to do the same thing to him, and to his girls.” She squeezed Annette’s hand and said, “I wouldn’t. I’d never hurt him or Dee or Emmie. But he doesn’t believe me, and I don’t think he ever will.”
“You see, that’s the thing about Mitch. And Chad, too, for that matter. They’re good, honest men, and they both love their Lord. And you can’t truly love your Lord without understanding a thing or two about forgiveness.”
Kate thought about that, but then she remembered Mitch’s words.
“How would I know whether to ever believe you, Kate, when you nearly killed him with your deceit? Chad believed you back then. What if you’re doing it again? What if you’re here playing me so that I’ll convince him to let you see Lainey? You’re obviously very good at manipulating, and you’re definitely a pro at keeping secrets. Just look at the secrets you’ve kept from me ever since the day you got here.”
“Even if they did forgive me for what I did in the past, I can’t see either of them forgetting. Or trusting me again.”
“You need to give them time, honey,” Mrs. Tingle said. “They’re still coming to terms with learning who you are.”
“Chad still doesn’t know,” Kate whispered. “I haven’t had a chance to tell him, because he’s been on vacation ever since I got here. I could try to call him, but it didn’t seem like the thing to tell someone over the phone. But I can’t see him acting any differently than Mitch did. He may hate me even more for what I did to him back then.”
“Like I said, you need to give them time.” She lifted the small stack of nightshirts out of Kate’s suitcase, walked over to the dresser and put them in the top drawer. “Running away isn’t the answer to dealing with problems. If you never face them, they will come find you.” She closed the drawer and asked, “Did Mitch fire you?”
“He didn’t use those words,” Kate said.
“What words did he use?”
Kate swallowed, remembering all of the things Mitch had said and shedding a few more tears at the hurt—and anger—in his tone. “He didn’t say anything about my work, exactly, but he definitely didn’t want me around, so I left.”
“So you’re taking a day off.”
Kate couldn’t help it; she smiled for the first time since she’d walked in the office this morning. “I don’t think Mitch would see it that way. I’m pretty sure he isn’t expecting to see me there again. Ever.”
“We’ll see. In the meantime,” Mrs. Tingle said, steadily unpacking Kate’s bag as she spoke, “you should take advantage of the day off to pray and ask God what He thinks you should do, then relax awhile. There are some really good romance novels in the top drawer of your nightstand. Read one of those.”
“A romance novel?” Kate asked, thinking that wasn’t at all what she needed to read at the moment, since the only bit of romance she’d ever experienced occurred last night...and would probably never occur again.
“Inspirational romances,” Mrs. Tingle said. “The ones where God is in the center, and He makes it last. Those are the best kind, and I think that’s what you need to read about, to see how He can work things out, even when forgiveness has to occur along the way. You aren’t the only one who’s ever made a mistake in life, dear. In fact, the only one who didn’t...died because the rest of us do.”
Kate blinked, taken aback by the wisdom spouted from the sweet lady currently stashing her suitcase in the closet. “Thank you,” she said softly, “for your kindness, and for believing that I might have changed.”
Mrs. Tingle turned from the closet, walked to where Kate still sat on the bed and placed her palm against Kate’s cheek. “Oh, honey, you’ve got God in you. I can see it. And if you give all of them time, they’ll see it, too. Now you pray, relax and read. We’ve got church tonight, and you need to go.”
“Oh, I don’t think I can,” Kate said, shaking her head at the very thought of attending the same church as Mitch.
“Nonsense,” Mrs. Tingle said, patting that hand against her cheek and then turning to leave. “I don’t think you can afford not to. You can ride with us. We’ll leave at 6:45 p.m.”
* * *
Mitch entered the church parking lot frustrated that he found himself searching for Kate’s car.
“Is Miss Kate here?” Dee asked from the backseat.
Emmie had been dozing in her car seat, but she piped up at the mention of Kate’s name. “Kay-Kay?”
Odd that just over a week ago they’d never met the lady and now they wanted her to be a part of each day. Mitch knew exactly how they felt, which only made him angrier. How would he explain the fact that they wouldn’t see her anymore? And had she, as Mitch suspected, left town? Or would she actually stick around and attempt to see Chad as she’d planned? Did she really think Chad would give her another chance?
He pulled into a parking space next to Bo and Maura’s car. They were gathering their Bibles and climbing out, and they wasted no time hurrying over to open Dee’s and Emmie’s doors. Bo promptly picked Dee up for a hug, and Maura scooped up Emmie and received one of her trademark openmouthed kisses on the cheek.
“You two are a sight for sore eyes,” Bo said, putting Dee down and holding her hand as they started toward the building.
“We’ve missed y’all,” Maura said, snuggling Emmie as she carried her along.
Mitch grabbed the diaper bag and Bibles and followed the group. “They’ve missed you, too, but I hear you had a good time at the beach.”
“Oh, it was wonderful,” Maura said, “but it’d have been better if you were there.”
“We’ll try to go next time,” he said, and he meant it. If he’d have gone to the beach with them this year, he wouldn’t be experiencing such a hole in his heart from Kate’s appearance in his world.
And as soon as he had the thought, L. E. and Annette Tingle’s car entered the church parking lot. Mitch automatically lifted his hand to wave, but then he saw the pretty face in the back window looking directly at him...and then looking away.
“Who’s that with L.E. and Annette?” Maura asked, and then she gasped. “Mitch, that isn’t her, is it? Hannah told us what happened, how she tricked you into hiring her. That’s just awful, if you ask me, after what she did to Chad and all.”
“Now, Maura, we’re walking into the church building. Let’s keep our thoughts positive, okay?” Bo gently chided.
“She didn’t exactly trick me into hiring her,” Mitch said, and then wondered why he felt the need to defend her.
“Sure seemed that way to me. If you’d have realized who she was, you wouldn’t have brought her in your office, and you certainly wouldn’t have asked her on a date. Oh, Mitch, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
The date hadn’t been so bad. Not bad at all, in fact. But Mitch knew better than to state that truth, since so much about the past week with Kate had been less truth and more fiction.
“Daddy, it’s Miss Kate!” Dee said, turning completely around and using her free hand to wave wildly to the lady walking behind L.E. and Annette. “Can I go see her?”
“Oh, dear,” Maura mumbled.
>
Mitch didn’t know how he was going to handle his daughters’ adoration of Kate if she continued to stay in Claremont. He’d really thought she would’ve left town by now, but evidently she was more determined to talk to Chad than he’d realized. How exactly did she plan to support herself in Claremont without a job?
“Kay-Kay!” Emmie said, reaching over Maura’s shoulder toward the trio crossing the parking lot.
“I’ll drop Emmie off at the nursery,” Maura said, picking up her pace. “Bo, you take Dee to hers.” She shot another glance back at Kate and gave her a look that should’ve scared the woman into leaving church, maybe even leaving town.
“Maura, please, settle down,” Bo said.
“She has no business here, Bo,” she said.
Brother Henry, their preacher, stood at the top of the steps to welcome everyone to the church and apparently heard Maura’s comment. “Now, Maura, you know everyone is welcome here, right?”
She visibly swallowed. “Yes, Brother Henry.” But she walked even faster as she passed him and made a beeline for the nursery.
“Sorry about that, Mitch. You know how women are when they feel like someone they love has been done wrong. She’s concerned about you and the girls, that’s all. There’s no reason in the world why that young lady can’t come to church and worship with all of us if she’s feeling it on her heart, and I’ll try to talk to Maura more about that when we get home,” Bo said.
Mitch nodded. He certainly wasn’t feeling as though he should defend Kate’s presence at church, but he also didn’t want to be standing here in the lobby when she entered. So he walked into the auditorium and took a seat beside Matt and Hannah.
He chatted with both of them but couldn’t keep himself from casually scanning the people entering the auditorium. He almost didn’t see her, since she slipped in behind a group and quickly took a seat on a back pew by herself. There really wasn’t a reason that she couldn’t sit with some of the people she’d met around town. She’d gotten to know quite a few over the past week, between their trips to the square and also her phone calls regarding policies. But she obviously wanted to be alone.
Maybe she thought Mitch had told the entire town who she really was, but she should know him better than that. Then again, he thought he knew her better than to think she would have lied to him the entire time she’d been in town. And he’d never have thought her the kind of person who could have left her husband and baby girl behind.
Maura huffed out an exaggerated breath as she plopped down on the other side of Hannah. “It took me a while to drop Emmie off because Annette was running behind, probably because of that person she brought along.”
“Who do you mean?” Hannah asked, and then Mitch heard her intake of breath as she spotted Kate on the other side of the building. “Oh, my, Kate’s here.”
Bo, returning from dropping off Dee at class, sat next to his wife. “I think it’s a good thing she’s here,” he said to Hannah.
Hannah nodded and quickly recovered. “Me, too, Daddy. It’s just, well, it’s all kind of strange. But I agree that it’s good she’s in church.” She glanced to Mitch. “I’m still sorry I had to be the one to tell you everything.”
“I’m glad you did,” he said, then turned his attention to the elderly man making the announcements. After he finished, they sang a couple of songs, and Mitch shifted in the seat to glance at the only occupant on that back pew. She looked straight ahead toward the pulpit, never venturing even a passing glance in his direction.
And then Brother Henry took his place in front of the congregation and announced, “Tonight I’ve decided to put our study of Hebrews on hold while I cover a topic that I believe would be beneficial for all of us this week. Forgiveness and redemption, specifically as displayed in the lives of Joseph, Peter, Paul and the woman at the well.”
Mitch didn’t know what had prompted Brother Henry to change his topic, but he knew one thing. He’d had his toes stepped on in church before, but he had a feeling this time they were going to be smashed completely.
* * *
Kate listened to the preacher describe the terrible things Joseph’s brothers had done to him, throwing him in a well to die, telling his father he’d been killed by a wild animal and then selling him into slavery. And yet, when he saw them again, he forgave them, even loved them.
Then Brother Henry talked about Peter, how he was known for his faith...and also his lack of faith, when he started sinking in the water and again when he denied Christ three times. Yet Jesus forgave him, even loved him.
And he discussed Paul and how he’d first been mentioned as a tormentor of early Christians and as the man who held the coats of the men who stoned Stephen. He’d persecuted Christians, and yet Christ knew his repentant heart and forgave him. Loved him.
Kate swallowed thickly and glanced over to the center pews, where Mitch sat with his family. She locked gazes with him and wished she had told him the truth last night. Then, because looking at him and at the hurt on his face pierced her heart, she turned her attention back to the preacher. Why did it feel as if the lesson were aimed directly at her? As if Brother Henry knew how desperately Kate craved forgiveness from those she’d done wrong? From Chad, and now from Mitch.
By the time he started discussing the woman at the well, Kate’s tears wouldn’t stop falling. In each instance the preacher mentioned, someone had done something wrong, and no little thing. The offenses were terrible. And in each instance, they were forgiven, and they were loved.
Why was he torturing her with this lesson, talking about what she wanted while Kate knew it wasn’t possible? Mitch’s reaction this morning had verified the fact that even if they were able to forgive, they couldn’t forget, and they sure wouldn’t give her a second chance. Pretty soon, the whole town would know who she was, and then everyone would behave that way. These people in the pews wouldn’t smile at her when she entered the church. They wouldn’t speak to her when she met them on the square. She’d simply be the woman who, like Mitch said, abandoned her husband and child and who left anything and everything behind while she satisfied her own desires.
Brother Henry hadn’t stopped preaching, but Kate couldn’t take any more. Her crying was so steady now that she had to clamp her jaw tight to keep from sobbing aloud, and she didn’t want to try to explain to the members of the congregation why the woman on the back row appeared to be at a funeral instead of a Wednesday-night lesson. So she stood, left the auditorium, crossed the empty lobby and headed outside.
She hated that she hadn’t driven herself, because if she had she could leave. But she’d let the Tingles convince her to ride with them, so she’d have to wait, since both of them had Wednesday-night duties, Annette with the nursery and her husband teaching a class. So instead of fleeing in her car, she found her way to the darkened playground on one side of the building, sat on one of the swings and waited for the service to end. Maybe she’d spot the Tingles walking out and meet them at their car without even having to speak to another church member.
But, as one of the church doors opened and a sliver of light from the lobby fanned across the ground, Kate knew she wasn’t lucky at all. Because she easily recognized the tall, muscular figure also leaving the service early...and walking her way.
* * *
Mitch heard every word of Brother Henry’s lessons in spite of his awareness of the pretty lady on the back pew...and the fact that she was crying. He saw her trembling throughout the preacher’s depiction of Joseph’s brothers, Peter’s denial and Paul’s persecution. But when he’d mentioned the woman at the well, Kate’s head had bowed, her tears dripping freely, easily visible from Mitch’s vantage.
Those tears pierced his heart, and when he saw her stand and quietly leave the auditorium, he couldn’t take any more. He waited for Brother Henry to say a few more words, then he left, too.
Exiting the building, he spotted her, the moonlight catching the pale yellow of her dress as she sat on a swing in the pl
ayground. Her shoulders were curved forward, head slightly bowed, and he was pretty sure tears were still falling when she looked up and saw him.
Mitch had no idea what to say, no idea what he was about to do. But he knew without a doubt that what he’d done this morning, blowing up at her and bringing up every sin of her past, wasn’t the right thing.
He heard her breath catch as he stopped in front of the swing and looked down to see her eyes swimming in tears, her face and neck damp from the streams.
She ran her palms across her cheeks. “I...” she whispered, her voice sounding scratchy and raw. Then she swallowed and tried again. “I am sorry I came here tonight.”
“I’m not.”
Her eyes lifted, hands gripped the chains holding the swing in place. “You’re...not?”
“No,” he said. “I know you needed the lesson tonight, and that’s why God has you here.” Then he cleared his throat and added the part that hurt most. “But I want you to realize that I needed it, too.” When she didn’t say anything, he forged on. “I shouldn’t have said the things I did this morning, shouldn’t have judged you based on your past.”
“I should have told you myself,” she said.
He nodded. “That would have been better,” he said, but even as he said the words he knew the truth. “But then...”
“Then you’d have never hired me, would you? You wouldn’t want someone like me, someone who’s done what I’ve done, working for you, or being around Dee and Emmie,” she said, her voice still raspy from crying. “And you probably still don’t.”
He thought about how much pain she’d caused Chad by leaving, and then he thought about how much it would hurt Dee and Emmie if they got too attached and then she did the same thing.
Mommy Wanted Page 12