"I want to touch you."
Fern said the words before she was conscious of the desire. But the moment they passed her lips, she knew that was exactly what she wanted to do. She had never touched a man, and the desire to know what it was like was suddenly overwhelming.
Fern felt the shock of withdrawal when Madison deserted her breasts, but as he removed first his coat, then his tie and shirt, eager anticipation took its place. Madison's body was lean and trim with only a fine sprinkling of midnight-colored hair at the center of his chest. A faint line trailed down the center of his abdomen and disappeared beneath the top of his pants.
Fern reached out to him.
Her first touch was tentative, almost as though she were touching a hot stove to gage its warmth. The tangle of hair was stiff and springy under her fingertips. Marshaling her courage, Fern ran her hands laterally across his chest, her joy in savoring the feel of his ribbed leanness almost as great as her astonishment that her touch left him relaxed and smiling. She ran her hands along his arms. How could they be so lean and yet lift her so effortlessly? His shoulders were the same.
Her fingertips encountered a scar.
"Rustlers," Madison explained. "They had Hen cornered. Monty and I surprised them."
For such a big man he seemed to have been fashioned from remarkably slender bones. She had always been distracted by his elegant clothes, but now she realized there wasn't enough flesh on him. He must have been even more slender when he faced the rustlers. A gun battle seemed so unlike the Madison she knew.
Maybe he was more like Hen than she knew.
She traced the curves and lines of his neck, felt the slight abrasion of his close-shaved beard, and feathered across the fullness of his lips. His forehead was cool, his eyebrows thick and bushy; a vein pounded softly in his temples. Taking her courage in her hands, Fern allowed her touch to stray to Madison's nipples.
He twitched. Thinking she had hurt him, she snatched her hand away. Madison took her hand and replaced it on his chest.
"It tickles," he murmured.
"That's not what it does to me."
Still not entirely certain Madison was telling her the truth, Fern tentatively traced the edge of his nipple with her fingertip. She was stunned to feel it gradually harden. She was even more surprised to feel her own nipples grow firm in response. She wondered if he felt the shivers of pleasure which darted back and forth along her limbs. Whatever he felt, he wasn't the least bit frightened.
Feeling more courageous, Fern leaned forward and dropped a tiny kiss on his nipple. When he didn't move away from her, she kissed the other one. Again, when he didn't withdraw, she traced its outline with the tip of her tongue. Madison's shiver of delight sent a thrill running through her body. She could give him pleasure.
Taking his face in his hands, she pulled his face down to her for an impassioned kiss. She didn't even flinch when his body pressed down against hers. She only felt the abrasions of his skin and hair against her ultra-sensitive nipples. Her body tension increased tenfold in response.
"Did I hurt you?" Madison asked, quickly pulling away.
"No," Fern said, pulling him back again. "I just didn't know my breasts would be so sensitive."
"You have beautiful breasts," Madison murmured, laying a trail of kisses along her jaw, down her neck, and across the tops of her breasts.
"I'm glad you like me," Fern said, smiling in love at him.
"I like all of you," Madison said.
"And I like you," Fern said, running her hands over his chest. "I never knew it could feel so nice just to touch a man."
Fern pulled Madison down for another kiss.
"And the best is yet to come," Madison promised.
"The best is having you here, being held in your arms. The rest is good, even wonderful, but that's the best of all."
"You're not afraid anymore?"
"No."
"You don't want to stop?"
Fern shook her head.
"Thank God," Madison moaned. "I don't know if I could have stood it."
"Can we just lie here?"
But Fern was acutely aware of the bulge in Madison's pants. It pressed against her thigh when he made love to her breasts. It pressed against her abdomen when he kissed her. It nestled between her thighs when she turned on her side to hold him. The tension in Madison's body, the heat, the fact it was there told her they couldn't just lie still.
"Do we have to?" he asked.
"No."
She could feel him relax.
"Let me know if anything frightens you."
But she wasn't scared anymore, only filled with wonder. She could hardly admit it even to herself, but even as his hand moved along her thigh, she realized she wanted to explore his body, too. Not just the fascinating bulge. She wanted to experience the feel in his powerful thighs, to touch his bottom, to know every part of him.
But it was hard to think of Madison's body when he was doing such wondrous things to her own. Her whole being seemed to be reduced to the spot under his fingertips. Even as he began once again to suckle her breast, his hand glided along the inside of her leg lingering briefly between her thighs before crossing over and gliding across her abdomen. Her muscles bunched when she felt him start to undo the buttons to her pants, but it was only in anticipation. She no longer feared what he might do.
"I never made love to a woman in pants before," Madison murmured. "It feels strange."
"Everything we've done seems strange to me," Fern replied, squirming nervously as Madison slipped her heavy pants from her body.
"It won't for very long. When a man and woman are in love, it's the most natural thing in the world."
Fern didn't know about natural, but it was the most deliciously exciting thing that had happened to her in her entire life. She was determined she would not be the only one to undress. She fumbled with the buttons on Madison's pants.
"If you don't want me to lose control, you'll go easy," he whispered.
"What do you mean?" she asked, a momentary finger of fear clawing its way back from oblivion.
"Nothing that would hurt you," Madison was quick to assure her. "It's just that a man can't control his body as well as a woman."
Fern couldn't understand that. She had absolutely no control over her body.
Then Madison's hand moved to the triangle between her legs, and Fern doubted she would ever take a normal breath again. Using the palm of his hand, he gently kneed her, helping her relax the rigid muscles which kept her knees pressed together, helping her release the iron band of tension that seemed to radiate from her stomach to all parts of her body.
"Open for me," Madison said.
"What are you going to do?" Fern asked.
"Nothing yet."
But it didn't seem like nothing when his fingers parted the lips of her sex and he rubbed the sensitive nub with his fingertip. Fern gasped, her body stiffened, her fingernails dug into the mattress. She felt like her body would lift right off the bed.
"I won't hurt you."
But it wasn't fear of being hurt that sent her senses reeling. It was the most wonderfully, agonizingly beautiful feeling she had ever experienced. It made her toes curl, her scalp tingle; it made every muscle in her body ache with delicious longing. Through the swirling mists that threatened to swallow her mind, Fern wondered if she could make Madison act the same way. Without warning, she slid her hand deep into his pants.
Madison jumped like he'd been jabbed with a cattle prod.
"I'm sorry," she said, snatching her hand away.
He placed her hand on his abdomen. "It's all right. You just surprised me."
"Are you sure?"
"Help me undress."
Being careful to put as little pressure as possible on the erection which now strained hard against its confinement, Fern unbuttoned Madison's pants and helped slip them to the floor. His drawers followed. Fern stared, fascinated. She longed to touch him, to squeeze him, to handle him as thoroughly as
he was handling her, but she now knew she had to be as gentle with him as he had been with her. Her touch affected him just as profoundly as his touch affected her.
Fern rolled on her side in order to reach Madison's back. She let her fingers explore the ridges of muscle, drift down to the narrowness of the small of his back, scamper over his rounded, powerful hips, down along his thigh. She smiled to herself when his muscles quivered in response to her touch. Feeling more confident, she crossed over to the other thigh, barely brushing his manhood in passing.
A delightfully satisfying shiver shook his body.
The thickness of the tangle of hair surprised her. It felt almost like a fortress placed there to protect him from invasion.
It pleased Fern to think of herself as the invader. It pleased her even more to imagine Madison as the helpless object of her quest. Emboldened by this image, Fern reached out and allowed her hand to gently encircle his manhood.
A moan unlike anything she expected escaped Madison's lips. It was a moan of satisfaction, of happiness, but it was also a moan of surrender.
Madison was surrendering to her!
Fern's entire being sprang into an awareness so acutely sensitive she felt as though the slightest touch, the softest word might cause her to explode.
Ever so carefully she explored him. His reaction wasn't anything like hers. While her body grew moist with desire, Madison had grown large and rigid, his length pulsating with heat. When her hand slipped lower and Madison opened his legs in acceptance, Fern felt so vigorously alive, so light she thought she might fly away like the feathery seeds of the thistle which would soon fill the late summer skies.
Abandoning his passive role, Madison rolled forward and placed his hand on Fern's abdomen.
She tried to continue her exploration of Madison, but his touch instantly divided her attention. When his finger slipped inside her, her body flinched in response. Involuntarily, her hand closed on Madison, forcing a groan from him, causing him to jerk convulsively which caused his hand to penetrate her body.
Her entire being focused itself on his invasion.
It seemed that he possessed her entire body all at once. Even as his hand ignited spirals that exploded in her loins, his other hand continued to tease her breasts. His lips scattered trails of fire from her forehead to her navel. She felt consumed by him, by her own need, which had grown in intensity until it gripped her like the talons of an eagle grip its prey.
Unable to control her body, able only to writhe beneath the forces which tossed her like a feather in a whirlwind, Fern strained against Madison, begging for a consummation she knew must come soon.
"This may hurt a little at first," Madison warned, but Fern was beyond worrying about a little pain. Her entire body seemed to be twisting and convulsing in sweet agony. Dimly she felt Madison move between her thighs; when he entered her moist heat she began to lose contact with reality. She seemed to be filled with him. Consumed by him. Overwhelmed by him.
A needle-like stab of pain . . . Her body stretching as he entered her fully . . . Her body exploding with the need to pull him deeper into her until he could reach the hidden core that fueled her need . . . The more she tried to douse the flame which lapped at her senses, the higher the blaze grew until she opened and surrendered completely to him.
Fern was acutely conscious of everything Madison did. Every movement, every breath seemed to raise the pitch of her own excitement. She heard her groans as from a distance, her pleading cries that Madison somehow release her for this pinwheel of desire, her frantic efforts to force Madison to reach the core of her need before it drove her mad.
She dug her nails into his back. As the forces gripped her more fully, she sank her teeth into his shoulder. His moan of pain seemed to be the trigger which released them both.
She felt a tremendous wrenching which seemed to start in her toes and explode through every muscle and nerve into her groin. Even as her body stiffened and rose to meet Madison, she heard him groan, felt his body shudder, and felt an explosion of moist heat inside her.
Fern felt like she had been flooded, filled to bursting with his own vitality. Sensations rose in waves, each one more powerful than the other. She clung to Madison, pulling him deep and deeper into the vortex of her spiraling need. Her own body grew taut. Like the coiling spring of a catapult, it wound tighter and tighter until she felt as though she would shatter into a million tiny shards.
Then as the agony grew too sweet to bear, it exploded within her sending a shower of brilliant lights streaking across the firmament of her being.
For the first time in her life, Fern didn't feel alone. She felt a part of Madison, so inextricably bound to him that she could never be alone again even if they were separated by the whole universe. She was his; he was hers. The bargain had been struck and would not be canceled.
She clung to him with all her strength, her body seeking to emulate the fusion of their souls. She felt elated, triumphant, not only at her discovery of the wonders of love, but in her new relationship with Madison.
After tonight, everything seemed possible.
Fern's muscles began to relax, her body started to loosen its hold on Madison. Then quite suddenly she felt absurdly weak. With a shuddering moan, she sank exhausted to the bed.
Many minutes passed before either of them spoke.
"Are you going to marry me?" Madison asked, breaking the silence at last.
"Yes."
"You're not afraid any more?"
"Only afraid you won't love me as much as I love you."
"That's something you'll never have to worry about."
Silence.
"Do you have to go back to the hotel?"
"No."
"Are you sleepy?"
"No."
"Neither am I."
Chapter Twenty-five
Fern woke to find herself naked and sharing a bed with an equally naked Madison. But that shock was nothing compared to the exhilaration she felt when she remembered they had made love together. She had conquered her fear of intimacy, her fear of letting a man have power over her body.
She relaxed, letting her mind concentrate on the exotic sensations of being unclothed. Never before had she been naked if she could help it. Even when she took a bath she remained covered as much as possible. As far back as she could remember her father had encouraged her modesty. He left the house when she bathed. She did the same for him. Without realizing it, she had come to believe nakedness was wrong, even unpleasant.
She knew better now.
She luxuriated in the feel of the cool morning air on her skin, in the total freedom from the restriction of clothes, from the sheer joy of having exploded another fear. There was nothing wrong or hurtful or unpleasant about being naked. She felt perfectly natural. In fact, she felt better than she'd ever felt in her whole life.
But most important of all, there was no longer any reason not to marry Madison. She didn't have to be afraid of him, or herself, or the mysterious unknowns she used to feel must be lurking out there ready to pounce on her if she lowered her defenses, if she allowed herself to care. She cared, and it was the most wonderfully glorious experience of her life.
She looked at Madison lying next to her and shivered with happiness. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined anything like this would happen to her. She loved this beautiful, glorious, wonderful man, and he loved her. But most important of all, she could love him without fear, without reservation.
She couldn't stand being awake by herself any longer. She couldn't stand being quiet and letting him sleep. She couldn't stand bottling up her excitement. She had to have someone to share it with.
She shook Madison awake.
"Wha--!" he said, coming awake with a start.
"Wake up, sleepyhead," she teased. "It's morning."
"No, it's not," Madison said, looking at the first streaks of dawn coming over the horizon. "It can't be any later than six o'clock." He turned over and pulled the pillow ov
er his head.
"Wake up," Fern said, prodding him vigorously in the side. "I forgot you Easterners expect the sun to be half way across the sky before you get up."
Madison groaned.
"Listen. Can't you hear the rooster? How can you sleep after that."
"You wring his neck, and I'll show you fast enough," Madison said, grasping her hands to keep her from attacking him again.
"You can't mean to lie in bed all morning."
"I could try," Madison said, cocking one eye in her direction. "As I remember, we didn't get much sleep last night."
Fern blushed rosily. "That's no excuse. It's a new day. It's time to be up and around."
Madison leaned over and kissed her. "I liked the old one. Can't we try that one over again."
Fern giggled. "Of course not, silly. If people could do that, we'd still be back somewhere with those awful Greeks you were telling me about."
"I like the Greeks. They knew how to have fun."
"If they did half the things you said, it's a wonder we didn't have a second flood. You do that here in Abilene, and they'd ride you out of town on a rail."
"Shall we try?" Madison asked, nuzzling her.
She giggled again. "We can't even do that," she said when his hands covered her breasts. "Pike and Reed will be here before long."
"Damn," Madison said, sitting up. "Here you are in the middle of a vast, uninhabited prairie, and we don't have a bit of privacy. I wonder how the buffalo managed it."
"You're crazy," Fern said, laughing.
"It's all your fault," he said, pouncing on Fern and tickling her until she was helpless with laughter. "I was a perfectly sane, well-adjusted adult before I met you. Now I consort with women in pants and think nothing of riding into the teeth of a tornado. We'll have to change all that. The good people of Boston would never understand."
"Boston?"
"Yes, Boston. My home. Where I work. Where we're going to live as soon as I can marry you."
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