For Cesare

by Naomi, Soraya

  Today after school, I’m in the park, lying on my back and reading, when Cesare joins me.

  “Hey, piccolina.”

  Because I’m still only 5’4” and my body refuses to grow, he calls me piccolina, which is Italian for shortie.

  Cesare plops down sideways, resting his head on my belly, and takes the book from my hands so that I’ll look him in the eye. “Want to hang out tonight?” He tosses my book on the ground and turns onto his stomach, now resting his chin playfully on my belly.

  He’s so striking, and I fight the urge to wind my fingers in his dark, thick hair that constantly falls over his forehead with strands that never stay in place.

  While I want to meet him tonight, I’m otherwise occupied. “I can’t.”

  He perks a brow. “What are you doing?”

  “I have a date,” I comment softly.

  Cesare sits up instantly, and I follow suit so that he doesn’t tower over me.

  “A date?” he repeats skeptically.

  “Yes, a date.” It is actually my first date, so Cesare’s surprised reaction isn’t odd.

  “With who?” A vein in his forehead throbs, and tension coils his body.

  “Are you angry? You go on dates all the time, and then you tell me about them in great detail. I need to date too. I’m almost sixteen, and I haven’t even been kissed; it’s pathetic. I’m this close to hiring a male escort!” I hold my thumb and forefinger an inch apart and grin.

  He barks out a laugh, but the moment of fun is gone as soon as it came, and he quietly murmurs, “I miss you.”

  “We can hang out tomorrow?”

  “Why aren’t you answering my question?”

  At first, I’m confused, but then I state, “Oh, my date is Parker.”

  “I fucking hate him!” Cesare snarls.

  And I’m surprised by his response. Could he feel the same pull between us? He can have any girl, but could he be attracted to me?

  I need to know, so I prompt, “Why are you so mad? Is...Do you not want me to go?”

  His gaze snaps to me as he considers his answer. “If you want to go, you can. Just be careful.”

  I can? And wow, did I just entirely misread this situation.

  “I can?” I spit and rise. “I don’t need your permission! Just be a friend and support me. Tell me to have fun, like I have over and over while you go on dates with every skank in school!”

  Cesare looks as if I’ve slapped him and grits his teeth. Instead of taking me on, he stands up and strides away without a word.

  So I go home to get ready for my date and, hopefully, a first kiss. Even though it’s not with the boy I wanted, I’m still nervous. I’ve waited long enough for Cesare to kiss me, and I’m done waiting.

  CHAPTER 5

  Cesare – 11 years ago – age 16

  I FIND MYSELF STALKING Kins because I can’t stand it that she’s on a date. I know she only sees me as a brother, but I sure as hell don’t see her as my sister. While I’ve grown to almost six feet, Kinsey’s still just as tiny, although, her body and face have changed. Her hips and ass have filled out, and her full, pink lips always tantalize me. My hormones are in overdrive, and I’ve been having dreams about her. When I’ve kissed other girls, she’s popped up behind my eyelids. I want to kiss her. Touch her bare, smooth, bronze skin. Sift my hands through her long black hair. Taste her. Fuck her.

  “Fuck!” I hiss out loud in anger.

  I should’ve told her not to go. My entire being repels the idea of Parker dancing with her and touching her. Therefore, I’m now at Bar 50 – the bar that allows minors – following Parker to the men’s room.

  Before he steps inside, a friend fist-bumps him and says, “Fucking Kinsey tonight, Parker?!”

  “That’s the plan.”

  “Good going! Another virgin for you.”

  This is why I hate Parker. He’s an entitled asshole, and he hides it well. I trail him to the bathroom and into the stall.

  “What the fuck?!” he shrieks.

  Quickly, I close and lock the door and push him down onto the toilet.

  “Cesare! Fuck!”

  He knows exactly why I’m here and tries to jump up, so I punch him in the nose.

  “I believe I was clear when I said that Kinsey was off-limits,” I snarl, grabbing him by his collar.

  “I wasn’t really going to fuck her, man.”

  “No, you’re not. If I ever see you near her again, I’ll cut your throat.”

  His bottom lip trembles. “Shit. Sorry, man. I’ll stay away.” And he holds up both palms, so I instantly release him, causing him to fall back onto the toilet.

  Then I unlock the door, wash my hands, and go to Kins.

  Perched on a stool, she’s smoking hot in her tight jeans that hug her delectable round ass and a golden top that’s tied behind her neck. Kinsey always says that she’s so tiny that no one sees her, but she’s completely wrong. I see her. I see only her. I know that beneath that stunning girl is an even more beautiful soul.

  Resting my hands on the bar, I cage her in from behind.

  She turns her head so fast that she bumps my nose as I bend down.

  “Ouch!” she rubs her nose cutely and frowns.

  “Hey, Kins. I’m sorry about earlier.” I press my chest against her back, and she sighs.

  She leans back toward me as I straighten so that her head falls against my chest.

  “Apology accepted.”

  My palms rake down her bare arms, and I feel her shiver when I press a kiss to the top of her head.

  “What are we doing, Cesare? I’m here with Parker.” She swivels around on the stool, breaking our intimate contact.

  “He left.”

  “What? How do you know?” She glances around the bar.

  “He was talking shit about you. And you were right. I don’t want you to be on this date.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I can’t allow other guys to touch you.”

  A tentative smile tugs at her lips. “So...?”

  “So...um—”

  “Cesare!” A blonde cheerleader from another school interrupts me, touching my arm.

  “Who are you?” I ask, annoyed.

  “I’ve heard about you. You dated my friend...” Then she glances at Kins. “Oh, hey, you must be his sister?”

  Kinsey lifts a brow, glowering at her.

  Before she answers, I say, “Yes.”

  And Kins shoots me a stunned, hurt look, then starts to turn around, but I stop her stool and hold it.

  “Please leave. I need to talk to my sister.” I stare at Kins and smirk, stepping closer to her.

  The girl eyes our pose and hurries away to her friends at the other end of the bar.

  I entwine our hands and tug her to the dance floor while the group of girls keep their attention focused on us.

  “Want to shock them?” I suggest.

  “What did you have in mind?” she probes with mischievous eyes.

  I pull her body flush to mine and lock my arms around her middle, bending my head so we’re face-to-face, trapped in a cocoon of our own. “I’m Cesare, and you’re Lucrezia, and we’re having a very sordid affair.”

  “An incest scandal?” She bites her lips playfully and twines her arms around my neck, pressing her breasts against my chest, and my blood flows south furiously.

  “Let’s dirty dance,” I whisper.

  And I sway Kinsey to the music. It feels like home to finally have the right girl in my arms. She pulls back, giving me a radiant smile. Kins feels it too, and an explicable sense of satisfaction warms me. Then everything around us shifts. Charges. Music fades into nothingness, and suddenly, we’re at a life changing moment.

  Nuzzling Kinsey, I brush my lips across hers while my hands drift down to her ass. And then I crush my mouth to hers. My cock stirs when I coax her lips open and delve inside. With our bodies pressed together, we’re tasting and touching.

  Out of breath, I pull back and rest
my forehead against hers. “Your lips are so soft,” I utter.

  “So are yours.”

  That makes me groan.

  “What?”

  “I don’t want to hear how any part of me is soft at this moment,” I say.

  The corner of her mouth tilts up, just slightly, and it makes her even more beautiful. “I’m sorry.”

  I merely look at her, taking in all her features. How her eyes slant up a little at the corners, enhancing her exotic looks.

  She glances behind my shoulder and laughs. The group of girls is staring at us in horror.

  I chuckle too. “My Lucrezia, I’m going to kiss you again.”

  Eagerly, I cradle her head and press my mouth against hers. She excitedly responds, and I need to be alone with her.

  “Let’s go.”

  “Yes, please,” she says as I twine our fingers and head out to my BMW.

  WE’RE CONTENTEDLY LYING on the grass in our spot in the park, Kinsey next to me, her head on my chest as I sift her bangs from her forehead.

  “Cesare?”

  “Yes?”

  “Am I your girlfriend now?”

  My movement in her hair stops, and she lifts her head.

  “Of course you are,” I throw back. “What did you think? You’re mine now.”

  She hesitates to voice her next statement. “Don’t be mad. I’m not the first girl you’ve kissed and haven’t dated afterward. I just needed to know.”

  My god, she always knows how to make me feel good and calm. I love that about her.

  I tangle my hand in her hair. “You are my girlfriend. And you’ll be my first in everything else because I promise you, we’ll be doing a lot more than kissing real soon.” Lightning-fast, I surprise her by grabbing her hips and lifting her to sit astride me. “Feel how hard I am for you. Because you’re so hot and delicious, I want to eat you.”

  “Like...take a bite?”

  I bark out a laugh. “No. I want to eat your pussy, piccolina. Lick you down there.”

  Kinsey’s brows hit her hairline. “Um...”

  “It’s going to happen, baby.” And I pull her forward to kiss her pretty mouth.

  “I’m so horny,” I groan into her neck as she sits atop me.

  Slowly, she rears back with an expectant gleam in her eyes. “Is there...anything we can do?”

  Now it’s my turn to be surprised. “Yes. You can touch me.”

  She slides down a bit as I unfasten my jeans, and she wraps her fingers around my cock.

  Her tentative touch is absolutely enthralling to me, and I stiffen within seconds. Covering her hand with mine, I show her how to move.

  It’s so hot to watch her jerking me off, and then I almost shoot my load when she asks, “Can I taste?”

  A growl escapes me. “Woman, you’re going to be the death of me. Yes!”

  Sweetly, she kisses the head of my cock and wraps her lips around me while pumping the base. I twist my hand in her hair and let my head fall back to the ground as my balls tighten when I guide her head.

  “Watch your teeth,” I warn and release a growl of pleasure.

  My harsh breathing fills the night, and I grunt as I come inside her mouth.

  She swallows and slinks back up into my arms with a smile. In comfortable silence, we view a starry sky.

  CHAPTER 6

  Kinsey – present

  A DISTRESSING, SLEEPLESS night passes. No one has entered my room, but I’ve heard a lot of commotion the last few hours, recognizing Michael’s thunderous voice.

  After I’ve washed in the adjacent bathroom, Cesare returns looking clean in his tailored charcoal suit but with dark circles around his eyes that betray his weariness.

  “Kinsey, now that I’ve had some time to think, I need you to answer my questions.” He closes the door behind him.

  “Okay...” A tremor of angst slithers across my skin.

  “How did you get involved with Joey?”

  “I’ve told you; I barely know him.”

  “But I know you, and he doesn’t seem like the crowd you’d hang out with.”

  He’s wrong. “You don’t know me anymore. We haven’t been friends for five years. I’ve changed.”

  He gives me a derisive glance. “I see that.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?!” I cock my head.

  He ignores my question and bridges the distance between us, swift and smooth, and my heart gives a treacherous thump.

  “Trust me; I know you.” His knuckles trace down my cheek in a feather light caress that’s almost no touch at all, yet it scorches my flesh, and I gasp. Then he palms my neck and rests his forehead against mine. “One look, one touch, and I feel what you feel, Kinsey. You were mine for ten years. I’ve known your mind since you were twelve, and I can read you like no one else can. You broke my heart, and you ignored me for five years to come waltzing back into my life like this.”

  “I think we broke each other,” I counter. “And you don’t know me anymore.”

  He set our break in motion, and I worsened it by giving up, which is the one regret I have in my life.

  Our gazes lock; a battle of wills. But focusing is impossible when he forces memories back to the forefront of my mind.

  Mi prenderò cura di te adesso. I’ll take care of you now.

  “Don’t tell me that I don’t know you anymore! I’ve been inside you, and I never left. If I kissed you, you wouldn’t deny me!”

  His arrogance baffles me, so I push him away. “Who are you? Stop playing games. I just want to leave here!”

  “I am Cesare, the underboss of the New York Syndicate, and you’re not going anywhere,” he comments with his back to me and then orders me to walk.

  Back in the living room, I’m astounded at the cleaned-up crime scene. The entire place is spotless. And along with a few men and the other women, who apparently slept chained together while I was in the bedroom, I’m lined up again.

  My gaze flies to Cesare, but he’s in a heated conversation with Michael before he addresses us.

  With his gun dangling in his hand, Michael paces back and forth. “My fiancée was killed. In my own home! I want to know which one of you allowed an enemy past the gate, into my house, to execute a meaningless raid that not only got them killed, but also got my fiancée killed! We’re doing background checks as we speak, but if you come forward now, perhaps I’ll be lenient.” He aims a quelling glare at us.

  Cesare’s analyzing me with a mixture of pity and anger. As if he wants to hold me but also throttle me. Then he breaks our stare and resumes his dominant stance.

  No one utters a word.

  A man comes up behind Michael and whispers to him. Michael pins the guy to my left with a scowl and then points his gun at him.

  I feel dizzy but keep standing, my hands sweating profusely and my skin itching.

  “Come here. I’m not in the mood for games. You didn’t tell me your last cocaine drop-off went sour. Why?” Michael demands.

  “We had the problem under control,” the man answers shakily.

  “So, you lied to me?”

  “No, I omitted—”

  Michael cocks his weapon and shoots him right between the eyes; the body sags to the floor. “Anyone who lies to me gets executed on the spot!”

  The women scream, and the other men seem astounded as well.

  Cesare is impossible to read, but he says something to Michael, and they leave.

  Joey is on me the next second. “What did you tell Cesare? I didn’t know you fucking knew Cesare Amallo! If he finds out, I’m dead.”

  “Then I guess you better get me out of here or get me a fix real soon because I’m dying from withdrawal.”

  I’m a mess, having sweat all night from withdrawal, and I’ve completely lost my grip on myself due to Cesare. Seeing him pains me. And I need the pain to fade. I need drugs to erase years of regret, of missing my best friend, my one love who doesn’t want me anymore.

  No! I don’t need the drug
s!

  I’ve been fighting for months to get clean, but Joey feeds my addiction. I know he’s bad news, and I should’ve stayed away from him – then I wouldn’t have ended up in this mess – but I’m an addict without funds. I have no job, student loans to pay off, and I keep falling back into his clutches. I run drugs for him in secret, and he pays me in heroine.

  Sometimes, in lucid moments, I can’t believe what’s become of me, and I try to get clean, but I’ve failed repeatedly. However, in this moment, I grasp how far gone I really am. I’ve witnessed a massacre and am being held hostage, but all I can think about is getting a fix. This is horrific, and I don’t want any of it.

  My musings are interrupted when Cesare smacks Joey’s hand away from my arm.

  “Do not ever touch her again,” he spits, and Joey holds up both palms as Cesare drags me back to the bedroom.

  “I don’t know what you’re playing at, or how the hell you got involved with Joey, but you don’t want me to find out from anyone else. I’ll be back tonight, and I expect you to have answers for me.”

  Then he locks me in again while I’m already considering confessing. Even though Cesare is different, there’s still this pull between us. Why else would he be putting me in a room instead of leaving me with the others? He’s just as affected by our reunion as I am. Maybe I should confide in him? He’s still my friend, my first and only love. And a love as deep as ours never fades.

  CHAPTER 7

  Kinsey – 11 years ago – age 16

  THAT FIRST KISS IS the game changer. Cesare and I become thick as thieves in the next few months, and my crush on him evolves into my first love. When I’m not with him, I miss him desperately.

  Unfortunately, he has a problem with my father and the crappy part of town I live in, so Cesare picks me up in the middle of the night so I can sleep at his house.