by Cindy Kirk
“When does your two weeks start?”
“I’m the first one up. I’ll take a two-week leave beginning on Monday.”
For the best, Katie Ruth told herself.
“Congratulations.” She forced the word past dry lips.
“I’d like you to—”
“We can talk more about that in a minute, but what I have to say is really important.”
“I’m sorry.” He offered a sheepish grin. “I couldn’t wait to share this with you.”
“What I have to say is difficult for so many reasons.”
Dan’s smile disappeared. “What is it? You know you can tell me anything.”
“There was a guy I met years ago, on a weekend trip to Las Vegas.”
Katie Ruth watched the shutter drop over his eyes. Was he thinking about how it had been when Lindsay told him she wanted out of their engagement? This was different, Katie Ruth told herself. She didn’t want out of her relationship with Dan. The decision would be his.
“I hadn’t thought about Judd in years. Out of the blue, I got a Facebook message from him. I didn’t read it. He was part of my past. I blocked him.”
The tense set to Dan’s shoulders eased. He blew out a breath.
“I don’t know how he got my phone number, but I received a text from him.” Katie Ruth’s voice sounded foreign to her own ears, cool and composed, like a person relaying a business report. “Again, I deleted the message without reading it and blocked him.”
Dan frowned.
“He sent me a certified letter,” Katie Ruth continued. “I tore up the envelope and tossed it in the trash.”
“There are laws against stalking.” Anger flashed in Dan’s eyes as he leaned forward. “If this guy is—”
“He showed up at my door today.”
The words had Dan springing to his feet. “We need to call Cade. Tell him what—”
“Judd came to tell me we’re still married.”
Dan froze. His dark brows slammed together. “What did you say?”
“Sit down.”
He shook his head and paced to the window, bracing both hands on the sill. His gaze remained focused into the darkness. “I don’t think I can.”
She waited. For what, she wasn’t sure. But when he said nothing, she continued. “Eight years ago, I met Judd in Las Vegas. He was just out of the military, and I was there with friends for a bachelorette party.”
Turning abruptly, Dan returned to the sofa, his face expressionless, his jaw set in a hard line.
“There were two years in college that I sort of lost myself. I did a lot of stuff I’m not proud of, but those times have given me a heart for those who struggle.”
“Go back to the married part.”
His voice held no emotion but still cut deep.
“Judd and I got married. It seemed like a crazy lark.” Katie Ruth gave a nervous laugh. “The next morning, we realized what we’d done.”
“You were drunk when you married him.”
Katie Ruth wished she could use that excuse, but this was about being honest. “No. I’d had a few drinks, as had he, but neither of us was intoxicated.”
“Go on.” Dan ground out the words between clenched teeth.
“We contacted the ‘minister’ who married us. I use that term loosely. The guy wasn’t affiliated with any church, and we learned he’d only gotten the credentials the previous week that allowed him to perform marriages.” Her mouth had turned dry as dust. Katie Ruth gulped the now lukewarm cocoa before continuing. “The minister listened and sympathized and agreed not to file the marriage license. Judd and I went our separate ways. I hadn’t seen him since.”
“What is this about you still being married?” Dan’s face gave her no clue what he was feeling.
“Judd is getting married next fall.” This time, it was Katie Ruth who had to stand, who needed to move. She began to pace. “In speaking with a Nevada attorney, he discovered that even if the license isn’t filed, the marriage is still legal. Judd brought me divorce papers. I signed them.”
Katie Ruth studied Dan’s face. She could almost see his analytical brain sorting through the information she’d given him.
“Why not an annulment? Why do you need to get a divorce?”
Katie Ruth took a breath, let it out slowly. “You can only get an annulment if the marriage wasn’t consummated.”
Dan nodded, but appeared to be avoiding her searching gaze.
“Apparently, Wisconsin recognizes no-fault divorces, and although it’s a community-property state, Judd had his attorney draw up a form where we agreed to simply keep our own assets.” Katie Ruth tried to smile. “The judgment will be effective immediately, but neither of us can marry for at least six months.”
Dan extended his hands, palms up, a look of bewilderment on his face. “I’ve been dating a married woman.”
“Technically, but—”
He surged to his feet. “I’ve been dating a married woman.”
“Don’t say it that way.”
“It’s true, isn’t it?” The eyes that bore into her held little trace of the gentle man she’d fallen in love with over the past weeks.
“I explained how it was.” She stiffened under his unyielding gaze. “I was young. I was stupid. I regret my actions. None of that changes who I am now.”
“You’re married.” He raked a hand through his hair.
“Just until the papers are filed.”
He shook his head, his lips pressed together.
“I’m doing everything in my power, and so is Judd, to undo this mistake. I’m an imperfect person who made a mistake.” Katie Ruth realized she had to take this a step further. “I didn’t even know until Judd just told me. I thought our marriage wasn’t official. I understand the position I’ve put you in, but other than your sister, I promise you no one will ever know.”
“My sister?” His words were harsh, filled with anger. “How did Oaklee get dragged into this mess?”
“She signed for the certified letter last week.” Katie Ruth held his gaze. “She was here when Judd arrived earlier today.”
Dan expelled a harsh breath. “Great.”
“She promised not to say anything.”
“Oaklee?” Dan made a rude noise. “She doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut.”
“You’re upset, but that’s unfair and you know it.”
“Is it? When you asked my sister to withhold the truth from me, it was the same as asking her to lie.” The voice in which she’d heard anger only seconds before was now laced with pain. “I wanted you to go with me to Lincolnshire. Not as my girlfriend, but as my fiancée. Now—”
He’d planned to propose.
She would have said yes.
Katie Ruth waited for him to tell her they could make this work. But as the silence lengthened, she accepted that it was over. “I guess we’ll be just another couple who couldn’t go the distance.”
Dan nodded, his eyes hooded. “If I take the job, it’ll put even more distance between us.”
She wished she could see beyond his stony countenance. Was his heart shattering along with hers?
“Don’t take it if it’s offered simply because of me.” Katie Ruth’s voice softened. “I promise to stay away. If it’s difficult for you to see me in church, or work with me on the youth activities, I’ll find another church. I’ll resign my volunteer position.”
Instead of protesting that that wouldn’t be necessary, he appeared to be considering the options. “I don’t want you to have to do that.”
“It may be for the best anyway.” Katie Ruth tried to smile, but couldn’t pull it off. “It’ll be difficult to see you and not be with you. I-I love you, Dan.”
“I love you, too, Katie Ruth.” His gaze grew puzzled. “But this, well, this makes me wonder if I even know you.”
“Finding out I’m married was as much a shock to me as it is to you. I didn’t deliberately keep it from you.”
There were doze
ns of things Katie Ruth could have added.
She could have told him that the woman she was now was the sum total of all her experiences, both good and bad.
She could have reminded him that it wasn’t what she’d done but how she felt about what she’d done that mattered.
She could have asked him how God could forgive her, but he couldn’t.
Instead, she walked him to the door and said good-bye to the only man she would ever love.
Chapter Twenty
On Tuesday, Gladys and her friends lingered in the Good Hope Living Center’s spacious dining room. They’d been in church on Sunday, when Dan had announced his two-week “trial” at the church in Lincolnshire.
“I think it’s a bad sign that Katie Ruth wasn’t in church on Sunday.” Katherine lifted the china cup to her lips.
Gladys pursed her lips. “When I stopped by the Y to see her yesterday, her coworker said she’d taken a few days off.”
“It’s obvious he’s planning to make this move without her.” Katherine motioned over one of the teenagers who worked the dining room. “My coffee has gone cold. Would you be so kind as to get me a fresh cup?”
Ruby waited to speak until after the young girl had hurried off. “I could have sworn he’d fallen in love with Katie Ruth.”
Gladys tapped a finger against the linen tablecloth. “I feel as if we’re missing a piece of this puzzle. Everything was right on schedule, and now it’s fallen apart.”
“Oddly reminiscent of what happened between him and Lindsay.” Katherine smiled her thanks as the girl set a steaming cup on the table.
“I disagree. While the sudden nature of the split is similar, Dan seemed much more,” Gladys waved a hand, “oh, what is the word, into Katie Ruth.”
“We need to speak with Oaklee.” Ruby, giving in to temptation, stuck her fork into the marble cake she’d been avoiding. “How can we bring the two back together if we don’t know what pushed them apart?”
“Excellent point.” Gladys nodded approvingly. Her eyes grew sly. “Oaklee, dear. Come join us.”
The other women turned and smiled in unison as Oaklee crossed and took a seat at the table.
“The administrator told me I could find you in the dining room.” Oaklee glanced around the now empty room. “Are you guys planning to graze all day?”
“We have a lot to discuss.” Gladys kept her tone mild. “We’re puzzled by something and think you might be able to cast light on the matter.”
“Sure. If I can.” Oaklee eyed an extra piece of cake and pointed. “Is anyone eating that?”
“You are.” Katherine set the dessert plate in front of Oaklee.
“This looks great.” Oaklee immediately dug in.
“I imagine it’s strange being alone in the house, what with Dan off in…” Gladys pretended to be fumbling for the location.
“Illinois. Lincolnshire.” Oaklee spoke around a mouthful of cake. “That’s the same town where my parents live.”
“Of course. I remember now.” Gladys sipped her water and considered the proper strategy. She didn’t want to—
“We noticed Katie Ruth wasn’t in church on Sunday for the announcement,” Ruby said. “Did they break up?”
If Ruby hadn’t been on the other side of Katherine, Gladys would have given her a swift kick to the shin.
Oaklee lowered her fork. Her eyes held the look of a trapped mouse as three hungry cats closed in.
The girl knew something, that was for certain. What did she know?
“Katie Ruth and Dan remain good friends.” Oaklee refocused on her cake.
Gladys couldn’t help it. Well, she could have helped it, but she didn’t bother to try. She arched a dark brow. “Is that the official response?”
Oaklee’s gaze darted from side to side. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Gladys had the feeling if Oaklee would have been a trapped mouse, she’d have gnawed off her leg to get away.
“Oh, Oaklee. We’re all friends here.” Gladys spoke in a soothing tone. “We love Dan and Katie Ruth. I don’t know about you, but I was convinced we’d be hearing wedding bells soon.”
Tears filled Oaklee’s eyes. “I thought so, too.”
When she sniffled, Katherine handed her a napkin, but wisely said nothing, letting Gladys take the lead.
“You two are like sisters.” Sympathy, real not fake, oozed from Gladys’s voice.
“I love Katie Ruth.” Tears slipped down Oaklee’s cheeks. “Dan talks about forgiveness, but…”
As if realizing she’d said more than she’d meant to say, Oaklee pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry. I promised not to say anything.”
“Of course. And you’re a person who keeps her word.” Gladys reached over and patted her hand. “That’s commendable.”
“Would anyone like more coffee or water?” The young girl had been replaced by a woman whose name Gladys couldn’t recall.
All Gladys knew was she was Ron and Edna Peabody’s middle daughter.
“We’re fine here, thank you.” Gladys offered a polite smile and made a shooing gesture with one hand.
She waited until the woman stepped away to refocus on Oaklee.
“I can see this is difficult. You likely have no one to talk to about your feelings, or even to bounce ideas off of for how you could possibly make this better.”
“I can’t talk to Katie Ruth because she already feels bad enough.” Oaklee inhaled deeply, then exhaled a ragged breath. “My parents, well, they’d have a field day if they knew.”
Gladys nodded sympathetically. “Dan isn’t here, and you can’t speak with him.”
“I tried.” Oaklee began shredding the napkin in her hand. “I tried to tell him that she was getting a divorce, and then they could be together. But he—”
“Katie Ruth is married?” Ruby spoke loudly, as was her habit when startled. “Are you saying Dan was dating a married woman?”
“Lower your voice,” Gladys snapped. Thankfully, a quick glance around the area showed only the Peabodys’ daughter filling salt and pepper shakers at a table across the room.
“Now I’ve done it.” Oaklee put her head in her hands. “I promised I wouldn’t tell, and I did.”
“Just to us.” Gladys hated seeing the girl so distraught. “We’re your friends. We’re on Katie Ruth and Dan’s side. We want to help. Tell us what happened.”
“I don’t know if I should.” Oaklee’s voice trembled.
“We can’t help if we don’t have the details.” Gladys glanced at Katherine and Ruby. “Nothing you say will leave this table.”
“Just be sure and keep your voice down.” Katherine cast a furtive glance at the woman working diligently at the far table.
“I was at Katie Ruth’s house and—”
Gladys listened to Oaklee’s every word, knowing that sometimes small details made the difference. Though Oaklee kept her voice low, Gladys heaved a relieved sigh at the sight of the Peabody woman leaving the dining hall.
“Are you sure I can’t get you anything?” Dan’s mother stood in the doorway and studied her son.
Dan had papers spread out across the small kitchen table in the alcove off the kitchen. He’d considered spreading out at the dining room table, but his dad was watching television in the living room.
“I’m doing fine, Mom. Just working out a few kinks in my sermon for tomorrow night.” Dan hadn’t expected to take the pulpit so soon after his arrival.
He should have known he’d be thrust feetfirst into the fire. The committee had chosen three of the applicants for a closer look, and he was the first to do a trial run. Since Ted wanted to preach on Easter Sunday, and the committee wanted to give the congregation a chance to hear each potential minister twice, Dan would speak on Good Friday and then the Sunday after Easter.
“I’d ask if there was anything I could do to help, but sermons aren’t really my area of expertise.”
The words struck a familiar chord. It was what Lindsay used
to say when he asked for her assistance. His efforts to convince her that he just wanted her impression, her feedback on whether the message touched her heart, had fallen on deaf ears.
Dan knew it would be the same with his mother. His father, well, he knew better than to ask. While supportive of what he considered a “step up” in his son’s career, John Marshall made no bones about not being a particularly religious man.
“I enjoyed having dinner with you and Dad.” Though Dan wanted to get back to his sermon, he reminded himself that he was a guest in his parents’ home.
“We’re both looking forward to having you closer.” His mother hesitated, and Dan could almost recite the question before she said the words. “What happened between you and Katie Ruth? You seemed so infatuated with her the last time we spoke.”
Infatuated? He’d been in love with her.
Married. Dan found it difficult to wrap his mind around the fact that she’d left out such a significant part of her past. What else didn’t he know?
His fingers tightened around the pencil he still held in his hand. “Several things came up. I realized I don’t know her as well as I thought I did.”
“For the best.” His dad, who often feigned poor hearing, seemed to hear quite well at the moment, even one room away. “Concentrate on your career.”
Dan didn’t bother to correct his father, who continued to insist on calling his ministry a career.
“I’m sorry.” Sandra crossed the room and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I can see you’re hurting.”
“Thanks, Mom.” He glanced down at the papers. “I’ll be better once this sermon comes together.”
“I’ll leave you to it.” She planted a kiss on the top of his head and left him alone.
Once his mother had disappeared from sight, Dan set down his pencil.
His sermon centered around God’s power to forgive and reconcile. The content was appropriate for a Good Friday sermon, and Dan knew the emotion he wanted to convey.
The trouble was, when he thought of forgiveness and God, he thought of Katie Ruth.
Dan knew Katie Ruth would have had lots to say about his message. She’d realize it was an important one. Unlike his father, who usually saw things in black and white, Katie Ruth understood people’s complexities, their weaknesses, and had compassion for them.