by RR Haywood
‘Okay Mr Howie.’
‘I’ll go left, you go right, meet in the middle?’ He nods back at me.
‘Ready Dave?’
‘Yes Mr Howie.’ The horde are stretched out in a line and I move over to the far left watching them track me with their eyes. Gripping the axe tight I take no chances in trusting they’ll keep to the slow daytime shuffle and move round the back of them. Watching as they start to stagger round to face me. I take the opportunity and move in quickly; striking the first one through the neck and taking his head clean off. I step backwards and check around me, then dart in and sweep the axe down, cleaving into the skull of an undead female, splitting her cranium apart and spilling brains out onto her shoulders before she sags down.
A quick glance and I can see Dave has already taken three down and is on his fourth. Violently wrenching the head sideways to break the neck. I swing the double headed axe into the stomach of the next one, cutting deep into their midriff and watching bright red innards falling out. Punching down into the face as I draw the axe back I turn for the next one to find them all down and Dave standing there watching me.
‘I only got three.’
‘Sorry, did you want more Mr Howie?’
‘Bit late now, unless they come back again as undead undead’s.’ Turning to check on the others, I see Clarence lifting his last one up bodily before dropping it down hard on his knee, breaking the spine. He rolls the body off his leg and looks over, both of us realising we’ve each finished and sprinting back to the start at the same time. We both dive forward and land in a heap, laughing and giggling like idiots, trying to push each other away.
‘Ah fucking hell,’ Blowers moans as he and Nick both look at their last standing zombie, an old man with big bushy eyebrows. ‘We’ve lost,’ he adds sorely. The old man undead shuffles closer to Blowers then suddenly darts forward with speed. We shout a warning and Blowers ducks out the way. The old man zombie turns with surprising dexterity and faces Blowers again, before raising his fists in a boxing pose and going at Blowers with a fast pace, throwing straight jabs at Blowers’ head.
Blowers ducks and weaves backwards, instinctively raising his own fists to protect his face. He lashes out and the old man blocks the punch, throwing another one which just misses Blowers as he ducks down.
‘What’s he doing?’ Cookey shouts in alarm, watching Blowers trading punches with an ancient zombie boxer.
‘He’s quick, I’ll give him that,’ Clarence says, watching the spectacle.
‘Who, Blowers or the zombie?’ I ask.
‘The zombie, he’s very quick and he looks fresh too. No decay and the wound on the back of his leg is still open.’
‘He’s just been turned then,’ I say. Dave has drawn his handgun and tracks the zombie darting about and throwing punches at Blowers.
Blowers suddenly speeds up and launches a flurry of body blows on the zombie, sending him reeling backwards. He keeps up the barrage, carefully avoiding hitting the zombie in the face but landing blows everywhere else, including the side of his head with powerful hooks.
‘BLOWERS, MOVE BACK,’ Dave shouts, still trying to track the zombie with his pistol.
‘I’ve got him,’ Blowers shouts back.
‘MOVE BACK NOW,’ Dave roars, Blowers instantly does as he’s told. Dave holsters his weapon and runs towards the zombie, drawing a knife and sweeping it across the old man’s throat. He savagely jerks the head back as he does it, forcing the zombie to fall face down on the ground.
‘DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN,’ Dave roars at a stunned Blowers.
‘You could cut your hands and get his blood in you, show me your hands.’
‘But I thought of that and didn’t hit his face,’ Blowers replies meekly.
‘Show me your hands,’ Dave says, his voice still hard edged. Blowers holds his hands out palms down as Dave inspects them closely.
‘I’m really sorry Dave,’ Blowers says, he looks crest fallen. Any of us would being told off by Dave like that, ‘I did avoid hitting his face in case I cut myself.’
‘He’s already bleeding and we still don’t know how Darren got infected,’ Dave replies quickly.
‘I’m sorry Dave,’ Blowers repeats, looking ashamed and embarrassed.
‘It’s done now,’ Dave drops his hands and starts to turn away, ‘good moves though, good skills, well done. We’ll practise more of that later,’ Dave adds in a softer tone. I’m both stunned and amazed at Dave showing awareness of someone else’s feelings like that, ‘and you’re making the brews later.’
This time my mouth drops open.
Eight
I’ve made a connection, that old fucker from the hotel cellar. It must have been the blood I took from him. If I’d known that I would have brought that old crow I bit in the shop with me. I can’t see through his eyes but there’s definitely a connection there. As soon as he got up off the ground I knew he was mine. It’s got to be the blood we shared. I wonder if it works with other bodily fluids or just blood.
Those fucking wanking fucktards, standing over there on the grass chatting all cool and heroic while my lovelies surround them. I only sent a few in, save the rest for later. I’ve been a busy boy running round this shitty little town collecting up my groupies. Although I can’t connect to them, they still follow me. And that old boy, well he’s a peach. There’s something there, a feeling of control, a bit like before when I had my army only not so strong. I can will him to move and do things but I can’t see or hear anything from him. Oh well, make the best of a bad lot I say. But those utter cunts, I fucking hate them. I fucking detest them, I’m going to rip their fucking heads off and unload my zombie runny turds down their throats. No, better than that; I’ll tie them down and get my lovelies to hold their mouths open while I shit down their still living throats. Yeah, fuck yeah. Infection by poo. Fuck you Howie, eat my shit.
I stand across the road in some gardens, peering through the bushes like some dirty voyeur. The stupid cunts were racing up and down the sea in a high powered boat, letting every zombie in the town know they’re coming. Fucking cock chops, what did they expect? Using a fucking great boat like that and then storming up the beach like a bunch of invading twats.
I blame Dave the nasty little runtcunt. Dave the cuntrunt. Cuntrunt Dave. Now look at them, going off in pairs and taking my babies out. You wait though, you fucking wait for my old boy. Couldn’t work out better than Blowers and that thick fucker Nick going over to him. Oh look at Dave snapping necks like a regular Rambo, and Clarence chucking them about like dolls. I can see Howie and my zombie cock twitches with the thought of watching him die right now. Ha, there’s my old boy giving it the slow shuffle and waiting for Blowers to get in nice and close.
Fuck me, he was quick, he’s throwing punches like a right old brawler. Look at him go, straight for Blowers. One-two, yeah go on smash his fucking teeth in. Blowers is quick though and ducks about smacking my lovely old man about. This is fucking classic, watching Blowers getting ragged about by an old man until Dave shouts and stabs him in the neck. Fucking spoilsport. He ruins everything. He has to fucking take over doesn’t he? Now look at him, standing there caressing Blowers hands, probably giving him a sly hand-job at the same time.
‘YOU UTTER FUCKING CUNTS,’ fuck me, did I just do that. Oops, bit too soon. Oh shit, they heard me; here they come; running like a bunch of girls. I jump out, stick my fingers up and then leg it with billy big legs.
‘I WILL KILL YOU,’ that’s Dave roaring away with his big voice. Gotta catch me first you stumpy little midget. I run quickly with the advantage of already scouting the way. Going down the side of the house and running down the street towards the town. Come on you cunts, chase me.
Keep coming you fuckers. I reach the end of the road and stand on the junction for a second until they come into view, Dave out front sprinting hard. I wave and start running again. Leading them down narrow streets and back towards the town. I reach another junction with a steep hil
l going off to my left and the seafront down to my right. I pause for a second to make sure they can see me and start off up the hill.
There’s an old derelict hotel up here that I spied earlier. Perfect for what I’ve got in mind. The hill is steep but the infection keeps me going, powering me on where-as before I would have collapsed on the ground by now, sucking on a cigarette. Dirty things. Funny that, I haven’t wanted one since I turned. Hey, give up smoking and be a zombie! Fuck, Dave is quick. I pause just long enough to make sure they’re all coming and I run into the over grown grounds. What was once a large car park is now covered in huge weeds and bushes. I run round the back and open the door I prepared earlier and then run off in the other direction and over the high wall into an adjoining garden. I slump down beneath the wall and get my breathing under control, listening for the footsteps of Dave and his merry men.
‘Round here,’ Dave bellows out and it’s not long before I hear the rest of them chugging into the grounds to join their stumpy little mate.
‘Where did he go?’ I hear Howie panting.
‘I lost him here,’ Dave answers.
‘That door’s open, he must have gone in there,’ Howie says.
‘Maybe, or he could have gone over that wall or round the other side,’ Dave says.
‘It’ll be dark soon we need to get off the street,’ that’s Clarence’s deep voice.
‘Fuck it, he must have gone in there,’ Howie says.
‘We going in?’ Blowers voice.
‘Yeah come on,’ Howie says. My smile grows wide as I listen to them pushing the door open and entering the hotel. Perfect, fucking perfect. That hotel is huge and it will take them a while to work their way round, plus there are the little surprises I left for them. Poor little babies locked in hotel rooms on their own. Fuck it, might get a lucky bite out of one of them.
I wait another ten minutes until the shadows grow longer and the sky darkens. They’ll be well within the building now. Slowly peeking out over the top of the wall, I make sure they have gone inside and not left a trap for me. No sign of them. Good, I climb over and drop down on the other side. I sneak over to the door and pull it closed, there’s an old padlock clasp on the door, attached to a loop on the wall. I get the bit of metal I found earlier and jam it into the loop, securing the door closed. Stupid fuckwits. How did they win the battle with stupidity like this?
Running over the road and into a front garden, I work my way to the high wooden gate giving access to the rear garden. Pushing it open I smile at the lovely horde all waiting for me. I leave the gate open and move down a few houses, repeating the action. Only forty or so zombies, not enough and I look into the sky, willing the sun to drop down and let the night begin.
I know what will happen and I feel a sense of excitement course through my wonderfully infected system. The zombies shuffle out of their garden gates and slowly trudge across the road towards the hotel. The last glimmer of sun high on the side of the hotel slowly slides up the wall. Looking down the hill I can see the sea shimmering with golden rays as the sun drops down. Any second now, come on you fucking cunts. My foot is tapping with impatience at the still shuffling zombies, stupid fucking idiots. Why don’t they speed up? Don’t they know Howie and his gang of zombie bashers are in that hotel?
Fuck yes! Here it is. The sun drops and my lovelies all stand still, lifting their beautiful rotten faces to the sky. The urge overtakes me and I do the same. As one we roar out, letting all the other zombies know where we are. Howling guttural wails fill the air as every undead across the land lifts their head and screams into the night. Fuck you Howie, we’re not slow and shuffling now are we? The howling ceases and my beauties come alive, moving faster and with purpose they pour across the road heading for the hotel. I glance up and see pale faces peering out from the grimy windows. They’ve heard the howling and come to look. One of them must have seen me, he fires through the window and I just about duck down as the round whips by my head.
Fucking lovely, that shot will bring all my brothers and sisters here. Couldn’t have been Dave firing, the lack of a new hole in my head tells me that. Groans and scuffles come from all around me as zombies stagger towards the hotel. Moving fast now, their movements more controlled and the evil presence of them intensifies. Love it. Fucking love it.
Now it’s nice and dark I keep to the shadows skirting the edge of the building, moving low between windows and glass paned doors. The hotel has balconies on most levels, rising at least five stories up and I keep a close eye on them in case they fire down at me. A large number of my zombies follow me, keeping up easily now it’s dark. I lead them to the rear and pull the clasp open, shoving the door open and letting the zombies stagger inside. After about twenty have passed through, I pull the door closed and re-fasten the clasp. Leading more zombies round the side and looking for other entrances. I want to leave groups at the doors and exit points to prevent the fuckers getting out, but there’s no control over these zombies and they just follow me about. A full loop round the hotel and I’m back to the door at the rear, leading a huge horde with me. There’s loads now, pouring in from all directions; drawn by the noise of the gunshot and activity and the smell of each other. The only way to stop them following me is for me to lose them somehow, but I need to keep them here to trap Howie and his cunts.
Opening the door again I slip inside and let a few more follow me through seeing as there’s shit loads of them outside. Once a few more have got in I push the door closed and force some poor zombie to stagger backwards. Wedging a chair under the handle I move off deeper into the hotel. The only light is from the bright moon shining through the windows. I work my way quietly towards the front as my new horde get the smell of humans in their noses and start off into the deep recesses, following the scent trail. An old fire exit marks my way out and I push the big metal handle down, easing the door open and squeezing out. The door locks when I push it closed and I quickly dart across the road, ducking down in the shadows to turn back and watch for a bit.
My lovelies are all round the hotel now, groaning away with hunger as they sense survivors inside. Howie and his bum-chum mates will have a nice surprise. Couldn’t have worked out better. Leaving them busy for the night, I move off to continue my search for Howie’s little piggies.
Nine
We enter the hotel and work our way through the corridors out into the main lobby by the front doors, now encrusted with grime and filth. This hotel must have been grand once with wide rooms and high ceilings. The main lobby has a huge spiral staircase leading to the upper floors. A smashed up chandelier lies on the floor in the middle of the lobby. Broken glass, smashed plates and crockery cover the carpet. Furniture from the hotel bedrooms has been lobbed down from the upper floors too, adding to the debris.
The décor is old, really 1960’s with floral wall paper and a deep red carpet, dark wood and lots of brass fittings everywhere. Staying together we work our way into a long ballroom with wooden floors and stacks of chairs piled up along the sides. An old bar stands at one end, still with some glasses stacked on the shelves. Dave and Clarence both scan the floor, pointing out fresh tread marks distinctive in the dust.
‘Someone definitely came through here very recently, looks like they went through here and into the lobby,’ Clarence comments, squatting down to look at the marks.
‘Upstairs?’ I ask him and Dave.
‘This place is huge, he could be anywhere,’ Nick says, his muted tone matching the gloomy interior of the hotel.
‘If he’s in here at all,’ Dave says, his eyes tracking all parts of the room.
Back in the lobby we realise there are two more corridors leading off from the ground floor, plus the ballroom that I assume leads into the kitchens and back room areas.
‘Shall we split up?’ Cookey says.
‘No mate, it’s almost dark now, it’ll be pitch black in a minute and we’ll end up shooting each other,’ I reply, ‘we’ll stick together, let’s try upstairs.’
‘The hairs on the back of my neck are standing up,’ Nick mutters.
‘It’s fucking creepy,’ Blowers adds in confirmation. I feel it too, that something isn’t right but we know we have no choice now. We can’t risk being out on the street with just axes and limited rounds in the pistols. The shotguns are good but they take vital seconds to re-load between shots and there’s only six of us this time and no automatic weapons. Dave takes point and starts leading us up the stairs, his knives already drawn and held one in each hand; the blades reversed and resting against his forearms. Clarence brings up the rear, his axe held ready. We’re all tensed and ready, mouths open and heads cocked, listening intently.
Reaching the first floor, Dave pauses and points to the two corridors leading off. One on each side. We wait for a few seconds, listening for any noises.
‘We can split into two teams here, check each corridor and meet back in the middle, Dave and Nick you’re with me. Clarence you take the other side,’ I instruct in a low whisper. They nod back. Clarence moves away with Blowers and Cookey behind him.
‘Nick, you stay in the middle, Dave takes point and I’ll bring up the rear,’ Dave nods and sets off, taking each step carefully. The sun is rapidly going down and the lack of external windows in the corridor makes it very dark already.
‘Nick, have you got a torch in your bag?’ Dave asks his voice very soft.
‘Hang on,’ Nick whispers.
‘Stay there Nick, I’ll do it,’ I step forward and open the top of his bag, carefully pulling the shotgun out and handing it over before I start rooting round. I don’t want to press the trigger by mistake. My fingers close round a cold metallic object and I pull out a flashlight, small but with a powerful LED light.
‘Keep it off unless we hear something and don’t shine it in my eyes, or your own….or Mr Howie’s,’ Dave instructs quietly. The corridor has hotel rooms on both sides, staggered all the way down. The first is on the right. Dave reaches it and pauses, listening before trying the handle. The door opens easily enough and he darts in, Nick waits in the doorway and I keep watch in the corridor, my axe grasped tightly in both hands. We go from room to room, Dave checking each one and leaving the door open once finished. In the last room, Dave enters then emerges almost immediately with a look of alarm on his face.