by RR Haywood
‘Okay,’ Nick listens intently.
‘But he couldn’t see any lights. There were no lights, he just wanted to get me on my own away from the others.’
‘What?’
‘He started touching me and…’
‘Fucking prick,’ Nick explodes, fighting the urge to speak louder for fear of waking Todd.
‘He was…’
‘It’s okay,’ Nick says, ‘you don’t have to say.’
‘Oh nothing happened,’ she continues, ‘he was saying that I wanted him and he could see it. He had his hands all over me,’ she shudders at the memory, ‘then we heard screaming and he took off, running through the forest until he burst back into the camp. I tripped and fell down and just stayed there…watching it all happen.’
‘Jesus,’ Nick shakes his head, ‘that is fucking terrible. Dirty fucking wanker,’ he grips the steering wheel harder at the thought of some dirty pervert groping the terrified girl in the woods.
‘Yes,’ Lilly says primly, ‘he was a dirty, fucking wanker.’
An instant reaction and Nick laughs, a sudden sound that fills the van and earns a reproving look from Lilly.
‘Sorry,’ he drops his head to stop laughing, ‘just the way you said it.’
‘What?’
‘The way you said dirty fucking wanker,’ he laughs again, ‘I never heard anyone say it like that before.’
‘Like what?’
‘You know, all nice and posh like that, you dirty fucking wanker’ Nick puts on his poshest voice, mimicking the girl.
‘I do not sound like that,’ she snaps but with obvious humour and very glad of the change of subject.
‘You do,’ Nick grins.
‘Really?’ She asks biting her bottom lip, ‘should I stop it then?’
‘What? Speaking like that? No…why should you?’
‘You know, so I sound tougher and well, not so posh and soft.’
‘What you gonna talk like instead then?’ He laughs.
‘I don’t know,’ she replies in the prim voice, ‘I hadn’t thought that far ahead when I suggested it.’
‘Go on then,’ he prompts.
‘What now?’ She asks in mock horror.
‘Yeah, give it your best shot.’
‘Well what shall I say?’
Nick laughs again, a pleasant sound that makes her grin broadly. ‘Well I say dear, whatever shall I say?’ Nick mimics.
‘Stop that,’ Lilly gives him a stern glance, ‘we shall have no ribbing here thank-you.’
‘Okay, sorry,’ he says with a forced apologetic tone.
‘Right, you ready? ‘Ere, wot’ all this then?’ She says in a deep voice causing Nick to burst out laughing again, which wakes Todd up.
‘Sorry,’ Nick laughs, ‘that was brilliant.’
‘Ssshhh,’ Lilly strokes Todd’s head, ‘you sleep now, are you thirsty? No? Okay try and sleep.’
‘Sorry,’ Nick says quietly, ‘my fault.’
‘It’s okay,’ Lilly replies, ‘I take it my attempt wasn’t very good then?’
‘No,’ Nick says bluntly but with a smile, ‘bloody awful if I’m honest.’
‘Really?’ She asks lightly, ‘that bad?’
‘You sounded like a copper from the old movies.’
‘I was trying for those gangster movies, er…Snitch?’
‘Snatch?’
‘Yes Snatch, I was trying for that.’
‘Didn’t work,’ he chortles.
‘Then I shall practise,’ she smiles, ‘but quietly in my head.’
‘Village,’ Nick nods ahead spotting the rows of houses breaking up the rolling countryside, ‘might be a shop we can check.’
The humour dies off but the good nature remains as they both peer ahead, scanning the rows of buildings for the ubiquitous village stores.
When they see it their hopes dwindle at the sight of the smashed in windows and signs of looting. Blood stains on the ground and a rotting corpse lying half out of the door. Nick holds the van way back, sitting quietly with the engine off and the windows down listening intently. Lilly notices the change in him straight away, the easy grin replaced with a hard look as he stares round at the scene.
‘Nick.’ She blanches slightly at the hand he holds up, a clear indication for silence and done without a glance at her. The minutes tick silently by as she waits patiently. The engine cooling and Todd’s deep breaths the only noise.
‘Okay,’ Nick nods, ‘sorry what’s up?’
‘I was just going to say I can go look,’ she whispers.
‘No, stay here and keep watch,’ he orders with a natural air of authority, ‘use the step so you can get a bit of height and watch all directions. If you see anything, just shout and I’ll come running, ok?’
She nods quickly, ‘do I hold the pistol now or…’
Smiling he nods, ‘yeah I would, I’ll be in and out.’ He slides out the door and pulls the long barrelled shotgun out, once more checking the barrels are loaded before walking quickly towards the shop.
Glancing back, he nods at Lilly standing on the passenger step with pistol in hand, carefully looking around. He glances down at the corpse but has no way of knowing if the body was human or undead, seeing as the skull has been smashed completely in. Looks old though so he steps forward, gently easing into the store before pausing to listen again. His eyes move quickly over the emptied shelves, to the counter at the end and the cigarette display. The sight reminds him he hasn’t smoked for a while. It didn’t feel right lighting up with Todd in the van.
All quiet, so he creeps to the magazine rack, scanning the covers for anything that might look like a guide book. He thinks of the word, spelling the letters out in his head G.U.I.D.E.
It’s okay now with no one watching him. He knows Lilly is waiting, but at least she’s not watching so he can afford a few minutes. Most of the magazines are still here, brightly covered glossy covers showing smiling women and men that all looked tanned, fit and healthy. Some actors and celebrities too that he recognises from movies. A jarring feeling kicks in at the sight of Paco Maguire on the front of one cover. The big white smile and his arms folded to show his bulging muscles. Remembering the night they fought together, Nick smiles sadly and feels a sudden overwhelming sense of loss.
Taking the magazine was a natural reaction, something to remember the man and show the others when they get back together. Exhaling deeply, he returns to scanning the shelves until finding a stack of local maps. He smiles at the memory of Cookey and Blowers taking the piss in the back of the Saxon when he was trying to read the directions out.
Grabbing a load of them he quickly walks the aisle, checking for any food or drink left over. Everything stripped and gone. Behind the counter he peers down to the floor, grinning at finding several packets of cigarettes gone unnoticed. Lighters too, maybe Mr Howie will finally take his own instead of asking all the time.
Lilly visibly relaxes at the sight of him coming out of the shop, smiling with genuine warmth as he clambers into the van to dump the cigarette packets, magazine and maps on the floor.
‘Here,’ he hands her several maps, ‘mind if I have a quick smoke?’ He asks politely.
‘You don’t have to ask me,’ she replies with a smile.
‘I guess you don’t smoke?’ He ventures.
‘No, but you carry on,’ she says, flicking through the map covers to see the selection.
Breathing a sigh of relief at not being required to read the maps in front of her, he jumps back out and lights up, inhaling the smoke deep before blowing it out and checking all sides.
With Lilly absorbed in the maps, he smokes quietly and finds himself as equally absorbed in watching her. Long strands of blonde hair hang down from her forehead, slender fingers flick through the pages and her face expresses what she thinks. A slight puzzled frown crosses it now as she deciphers and works out each geographical area followed by a quick nod when she finds the right one. She makes funny shapes with her mout
h too, pushing her bottom lip out then sucking it back it in. The lose strands of hair get pushed back, only to fall back down a few seconds later.
Lilly senses being watched and glances up, catching Nick staring at her with a look of rapture on his face. He balks and turns away, quickly sucking on his cigarette and making a meal out of checking each direction.
‘Chapsworth House,’ she muses audibly trying to put him at ease, ‘do you think that could be a stately home?’
‘Fuck kno…I mean I don’t know,’ Nick corrects himself.
‘English Heritage site maybe?’
‘I er…I don’t know, sorry,’ Nick replies.
‘Nothing here,’ she says reading through the index of places of interest, ‘maybe another map,’ she talks more to herself, picking up the other maps to scan read the indexes, running a finger down the columns.
‘Chapsworth Park,’ she says quickly, ‘what do these numbers mean Nick?’
‘Which ones…er…they mean the page number and the er…here,’ taking the map from her he reads the numbers, thanking god that his problem with words doesn't extend to digits. Finding the right page, he flicks back to check the numbers before working along the boxes. ‘Walk before you climb,’ he says quietly.
‘Pardon?’
‘It means you go along the bottom first when you read the number from the map, like this see,’ he shows her the number along the bottom of the page before finding the corresponding value for going up the page, ‘then you go up…see like climbing, and that’s the box…’
‘Can you see Chapsworth House there?’ She asks trying to peer at the map. Nick stares down at the tiny words as they suddenly start swimming across the page.
‘Er, here you have a look,’ he pushes the map back quickly, before stepping back out into the blazing sun.
‘Got it,’ she exclaims, ‘right here see,’ she holds her finger over a big green splodge with what looks like a building in the middle and some words printed in black, words that Nick cannot read.
‘Great,’ he grins. He might not be able to read, but he can view a map and work out what the colours mean. The shades of green and the swirly lines represent the gradient of the land. ‘Open flat land,’ he mutters, ‘big too, look at all this green area. What’s that?’ He holds his finger over a lighter shaded section within the green.
‘Let me see,’ she pushes her head so close next to his that he can smell her hair and feel the warmth coming from her,. ‘Golf course,’ she smiles up at him, ‘see, it says there,’ she points at the small black printed words.’
‘Oh yeah,’ Nick says, long practised at covering his inability up, ‘sorry, didn’t see it.’
‘That’s okay,’ she manoeuvres closer to view the map, ‘golf course,’ she says again, holding her finger over the word. ‘Main house,’ she points to a square section with more small words.
‘What’s that say?’ Nick squints at the page.
‘Er…copse, Chapsworth Copse, see the little tree symbols?’
‘Yeah course,’ Nick grins quickly while nodding.
‘Do you need glasses Nick?’ She asks softly.
‘No,’ he replies, dropping his head quickly to avoid eye contact. His tone also drops which Lilly detects in an instant.
‘What’s wrong?’ She asks with concern. Nick bites down the urge to lie and make something up. This is all too important to try and avoid it. What if something happens that needs him to read words, shit, he can’t even read the words on the map.
‘I can’t read,’ he blurts out and despite the embarrassed blush, he lifts his head to stare directly at her, ‘I’m dyslexic, really fucking dyslexic…sorry.’
She stares at him, reading the signs of his intense discomfort on his face. Refusing to yield to the shame, he holds her gaze with a mixture of defiance and apology.
‘It doesn't matter,’ she smiles slowly, ‘I can’t shoot a gun,’ she adds, ‘or sound very tough but you can, and I can read.’
‘It does matter,’ Nick softens his stare looking down at the map, ‘I didn’t want to say anything but…well something might fucking happen that you know, means I’ve got to read or something and I can’t do it…well I can on my own but not when someone else is watching me…’
‘Hey, it’s okay,’ she reassures him with genuine warmth, ‘honestly Nick, I can read anything that needs…er…reading?’ She pulls a face as her own sentence becomes convoluted.
‘Don’t blush,’ she adds quickly seeing the red tinge burning in his cheeks, reaching out she rests her hand on his forearm, squeezing gently, ‘honestly Nick, it doesn't matter.’
‘Thanks,’ he mumbles looking down again.
‘Do your friends know?’ She asks with the hand still on his forearm.
‘Yeah,’ he nods, ‘they take the piss all the time,’ he grins showing there’s no offence.
‘Well then,’ she grins, ‘think of me like that.’
‘Yeah right,’ he laughs, ‘you look a lot fucking better than Cookey and Blowers,’ the words come out faster than the control gate in his head can slam down. His mouth drops open in a comical expression as she laughs in delight, ‘shit Lilly, I didn’t mean to be a perv or anything.’
‘Thank you for the compliment,’ she says graciously.
‘Well yeah…er…so I can’t read any of these little fucking words on here, they’re like those things the Egyptians used.’
‘Hieroglyphics.’
‘Yeah them. It’s just all weird shit that swims about…if I’m alone and I picture the word first then try and recognise it I can do it, but…’
‘But you can read the map signs yes? You know what all these lines and things mean?’
‘Yeah they’re easy. These ones are the gradient of the land, the closer they are the bigger the fucking hill.’
‘The bigger the fucking hill,’ she repeats seriously, ‘got it.’
‘The roads are easy and these ones are footpaths and those other things that horses go on.’
‘Bridleways.’
‘Yeah them.’
‘So between us we can find it easy,’ she proclaims, ‘team work.’
‘I guess,’ he laughs.
‘So stop worrying and lets go. Is there anything else I should know?’
‘What like?’ He asks climbing into the driver’s seat.
‘I don’t know, are you blind or deaf, maybe have a false leg?’
‘No,’ he laughs, ‘none of those, just reading and writing, that makes me useless enough.’
Watching him and the way he speaks, she can tell he isn’t fishing for compliments. The man, as amazing as he is, is genuinely lacking from self-confidence and esteem. How hard it must have been to survive in a modern world without being able to read or write. That would pretty much rule out the internet, even text messages probably. But then, so far he hasn’t shown any shock at anything that’s happened and Lilly feels nothing but genuine gratitude for meeting him.
Feeling like a weight has just been lifted, Nick drives the van, amazed at how naturally she accepted what he said. There was no hesitation either, no pause as she tried to cover the sneer or stifle the laugh like so many girls had done before.
With Todd fast asleep, Lilly reads the map directing Nick through the leafy country lanes towards Chapsworth House.
Thirty One
‘There,’ Blowers shouts, ‘straight ahead, she’s running into that house on the left.’
‘On her,’ Cookey sprints away.
‘Dave, pass the house and get into the gardens, cut her off. Lani, likewise this side, Clarence stay in the street and be ready if she comes back out.’
‘Got it,’ Lani sprints hard, turning quickly to get down a garden path before bouncing off the locked front door with a yelp. She vaults the low fence and goes into the next one along.
Dave goes up the road away from us, heading past the house Blowers saw her going into and easily overtakes a running Cookey giving it his best shot. Clarence jogs towards
the last location she was seen in to stand ready in the street. Meredith leaps about barking while running between everyone, obviously detecting no threats so seeing this as a great game of let’s all run about like idiots in the blistering heat.
We’ve got her this time though. Dave sails past the house followed by Blowers and Cookey reaching the front gate. I hold back to see which one Dave goes for, and watch him vault the wall with ease and disappear into a door a few houses up.
‘Milly,’ I shout, ‘come on now…no more playing…you have to come out now.’ I sprint into the back garden to find Blowers and Cookey running round to check all corners with exasperated looks on their faces.
‘Over the fence,’ I shout clearly.
‘Which one?’ Lani’s voice drifts over. I stare at Blowers hoping he can answer, the lad just shakes his head.
‘No idea,’ I shout back.
‘I’ll get upstairs and look out the windows.’ Cookey runs back inside.
‘Did you hear anything?’
‘No boss,’ Blowers shrugs, ‘she’s fucking quick.’
‘Isn’t she,’ I reply.
‘You see anything?’ Blowers shouts up at Cookey opening an upstairs window. The grinning lad leans out checking left and right, waving at Lani and Dave.
‘Nothing,’ he calls out, ‘oh shit…there…’
‘Where?’ I spin round as though expecting to see her pop up.
‘Over the back,’ he shouts, ‘going into the house over the back.
‘THE BACK,’ I bellow as Blowers and I make a run for the rear fence.
‘CLARENCE…THE BACK…’ Dave roars.
‘ON IT,’ Clarence’s deep tones reach us easily.
‘Where’s the dog?’ I shout.
‘With me,’ Lani yells back. Reaching the back fence we leap at the same time, which is stupid as our combined weight just about obliterates the thin panel.
‘What was that?’ Lani shouts.
‘Blowers and Mr Howie need to lose weight,’ Cookey shouts running past us with a grin.
‘Wanker,’ Blowers growl. Getting quickly to our feet we run to catch up with Cookey.
We aim to the side of the house and the open garden gate left swinging from the girl. Gasping for breath and sweating buckets, we burst through and into the front garden. All of us, me and the two lads, Dave and Lani all emerge into the street at the same time, albeit several houses apart. She out foxed every single one of us.