by RR Haywood
‘I’m lost,’ Cookey mutters.
‘But…’I scratch my head, trying to work out if I’ve missed something.
‘Milly, if Carly is your mummy and daddy’s daughter then shouldn’t she be your sister?’ Lani asks.
‘Mummy and Daddy want us to be sisters,’ Milly says, still focussing on loading up her spoon. We wait for the additional comment to come, but it doesn't. She just carries on eating.
‘So, why aren’t you sisters then?’ Lani carries on.
‘Cos Carly is mean, she calls me rude names,’ Milly replies, ‘and I don’t want to be her sister. Mummy and Daddy said they took me so we have to be sisters, but I don’t like her.’
‘Took you?’ Lani leans forward staring with interest, ‘Milly, are you adopted?’
‘Yes!’ She laughs in that crazy, quick way while munching her little jaw up and down.
‘Oh,’ Cookey nods slowly, ‘got it.’
‘Do you miss them?’ Lani asks in a soft voice. We all wait for the answer, staring over at the girl perched on Clarence’s lap.
‘Nope,’ Milly sings. ‘I like beans,’ she announces, ‘Clarence, do you like beans?’
Laughing, the big man says he does like beans, but I notice his arm wraps round her that little bit tighter and Lani gives her a big warm smile. We all sense something not quite right, but none of us know what to say about it. Does it matter now? That’s the question. Her family are gone and probably never to be seen again. What happened before all this is over. It could be that she is like Dave and unable to build connections to people in the way others can. But then watching her now, interacting with all of us, it doesn't seem that way. For instance, she can maintain eye contact and read other people’s facial expressions, laughing when they laugh or responding to Cookey when he pulls a funny face. And the way she ran straight to Clarence too. Maybe she was just remembering that he carried her for a while, but she could have just got her own chair. Meredith certainly seems to like her, moving out from the under the table to sit next to Clarence and keeping both of her sharp eyes fixed on the girl.
‘We’re going to the place we live,’ Lani says after a few minutes of general talking, ‘do you want to come with us?’ The question is asked gently and easy, like a test to see how she responds.
‘Is Clarence going?’ She twists to look up.
‘I am,’ he nods.
‘Is Dave going?’ She asks each of us in turn, that same method of wanting everyone to answer individually.
‘So?’ Lani asks when she gets round everyone, ‘do you want to come with us?’
‘I do,’ Milly says. ‘Will I have a bedroom?’
‘Er,’ Lani looks to me, unsure of how to respond, ‘I don’t know,’ she says slowly.
‘Oh, I should imagine so,’ I nod knowingly.
‘Will Meredith have puppies?’ She asks quickly, ‘my mummy’s friend had a dog and she had puppies.’
‘Er, no…er…I don’t think so,’ I reply and that’s it, conversation over as she takes up staring round the room instead.
‘We’d better go,’ I announce, ‘everyone eaten and got water?’ Murmurs of affirmation and nods all round.
‘Me and Blowers got these for you Milly,’ Cookey pulls a pair of sunglasses from a pocket to hand over, pink plastic frames with dark lenses and her mouth drops open like it’s the best present she has ever had. Hugging the grinning lads in turn, she slips them on and grins, getting smiles and comments in response.
‘I like glasses,’ she announces, ‘Cookey….’
And so she starts again as we head out into the heat once more. One little girl surrounded by the hardest zombie killers possibly left in the country, and one truly psychotic, fearless dog that trots by her side. Chatting away, she lifts our mood greatly, even Dave smiles at her which just shows the effect she’s already having on us.
We just need Nick and the Saxon back now and everything will be fine.
Thirty Four
‘Hey sleepy, how are you?’ Lilly smiles, wanting Todd to wake up feeling re-assured that she is here and they are safe. ‘You’ve been asleep for ages,’ she adds. Todd stretches and looks across at Nick driving the van. Even with the windows wide open the heat is incredible and sweat drips down his face, giving him that uncomfortable sticky feeling. Shifting to look out the front window, he stares at the houses rolling by.
‘Need the toilet,’ Todd says quietly, the shock from everything rendering him near silent. No Samantha or his father, just Lilly and this man.
‘I’ll pull over,’ Nick says with a quick smile down at Todd. ‘You thirsty mate?’ He asks in a friendly tone. Todd nods but doesn't answer, his eyes wide and scared and despite the intense warmth he looks pale, drawn and sickly.
‘Bushes or a wall?’ Nick asks lightly.
‘Pardon?’ Todd asks.
‘Would you like to have a wee behind a wall or behind a bush?’ Nick smiles. Looking up at Lilly for re-assurance and seeing her smiling along he thinks for a moment. ‘Bush please,’ he says so politely they both just smile sadly.
‘Your wish is my command,’ Nick replies, ‘right, we need a big bush, can you see one anywhere?’ Seeing the fear on the boy’s face, Nick tries to be jovial in a quiet muted sort of way. The horror the child has seen has clearly shocked him to the core.
‘There’s one, what do you think Todd?’ Lilly points ahead to a large house set back from the road with thick bushes lining the edge of the front grounds.
‘Yes please.’ Todd stares around at the passing scenery. Everything looks so calm and nice, quiet and shining in the sunlight.
With the van stopped, Lilly drops down to the pavement stretching her arms wide with a big yawn. ‘I’m so sleepy,’ she shakes her head quickly.
‘It’s the heat,’ Nick replies. Switching the engine off, he jumps down to quickly check the view up and down the street, pausing for a second before nodding that he is satisfied. Pulling his packet out, he taps a cigarette free and lights it in one smooth well practised movement.
‘Better?’ Lilly smiles, seeing the look of relief on his face.
‘Much,’ Nick nods with a guilty grin.
‘Come on then,’ Lilly says holding a hand out for Todd she helps him down and follows him towards the large grounds of the big house.
‘I need a poo poo,’ Todd whispers. He didn’t want to say it in front of Nick, the embarrassment too much.
‘Okay,’ Lilly ruffles his hair, ‘you go and I’ll find some toilet roll, make sure you keep your shorts out the way,’ she says softly, ‘don’t get poo in them okay?’
‘Okay Lilly.’
‘Don’t go far though.’
‘You won’t watch will you?’ He asks with a frown.
‘No silly,’ Lilly replies, ‘of course I won’t.’
‘But what about the toilet paper? You’ll see me when you bring it?’ Todd looks deeply worried at the prospect of being seen having a poo.
‘Okay, wait here and I’ll get some now,’ she rushes off, first checking the cab before running to the back. Opening the doors, she clambers inside for a few seconds then re-appears holding a roll of toilet paper up with a big grin. ‘There, see? Now make sure you wipe properly okay?’
‘Okay.’ Nodding, he takes the roll and darts off through the open gates of the driveway. He takes a hard right and crouches behind a row of dense bushes cut into precise squares, with flat sides and tops with tiny, new shoots now threaten to ruin the shape so lovingly created.
‘He alright?’ Nick asks as Lilly wanders back.
‘Needs a poo,’ she smiles, ‘didn’t want either of us to watch him.’
‘Fair enough,’ Nick shrugs, ‘I wouldn’t want anyone watching me take a shit either…shit…I mean a poo,’ he adds with a roll of his eyes. Lilly giggles at hearing the word poo from a grown man, especially one that blushes so easily.
‘We can’t be that far away now,’ Nick suggests in an awful attempt to move the conversation along.
‘No,
I guess not,’ Lilly nods, ‘you thirsty? They’ve got loads of stuff in the back.’
‘Definitely.’ Strolling to the rear, he stands at the back doors while she climbs in to mooch through the bags of foods and provisions taken by the two men.
‘Coke? Lilt, Dr Pepper…Lucozade…’
‘Lucozade please,’ Nick cuts in, ‘we drink loads of that stuff in the Saxon. It’s good for electrolytes and er…stuff,’ he shrugs, his voice tailing off self-consciously.
‘Stuff?’ Lilly prompts him, ‘what stuff?’
‘You know, like all the salts and things you lose in this heat from sweating. It’s the glucose in those that give you the quick energy hit. Dave even drinks it so it must be good.’
‘You keep mentioning Dave like he’s something special,’ Lilly muses. Jumping down with another two bottles, she opens one to take a long drink.
‘Oh he fucking is,’ Nick nods, ‘shit! Why can’t I stop fucking swearing…I must have shitting Tourette’s or something…’
‘Shitting Tourette’s?’ Lilly laughs.
‘Yeah shitting, arsing, bloody…’ gritting his teeth with a smile threatening to spread across his face. Relenting he grins, laughing at himself.
‘Don’t worry,’ Lilly takes another swig, ‘it’s sweet that you keep trying to stop.’
Sweet? Did she just say sweet? Nick turns away quickly to take another drink, she definitely said sweet. She really did.
‘What?’ Lilly asks at seeing his reaction.
‘Eh? What?’ Nick asks too nonchalantly.
‘You blush so easily,’ she teases with a grin. An image of her father flashes across her mind, of Sam with that brute between her legs, of Norman grabbing at her last night and Billy being pulled away. The smile fades as quickly as it came, guilt pervades at being here laughing with an attractive boy so soon after.
‘Hey,’ Nick is there, right in front of her and looking at her with a sad look, ‘that happens.’
‘What?’ She asks confused.
‘The memories like that,’ he says softly, ‘you felt guilty for laughing when er…when all that bad shit just happened…’
‘Yes,’ she looks down with another guilty start.
‘We all get it,’ Nick continues, ‘but it’s okay to laugh and smile Lilly. It doesn't mean you don’t regret anything and it doesn't make it fucking hurt any less but…’ he shrugs, ‘but it helps you get through the day I guess.’
‘Have you lost…?’ Lilly asks quietly, unable to finish the sentence.
‘Loads,’ Nick replies. Seeing the girl look so full of anxiety he puts one hand on her shoulder. Immediately, she moves to place her own hand over his. Taking comfort from the contact, she closes her eyes for a second and almost nestles into his arm. ‘But we’re here,’ Nick says, ‘it’s fuck awful and shit but…’ Seeing the tears start to fall down her face he steps in, wrapping his arms round her shoulders.
‘I’m sorry,’ she bites the tears away, ‘I keep doing this.’
‘It’s only twice,’ Nick laughs softly, ‘you’re tired and exhausted, it’s fucking hot and fucking hell Lilly, after what you just had happen…shit you cry as much as you want.’
‘Maybe I should start swearing like you,’ she chuckles.
‘Nah, it wouldn’t suit that posh voice, you’d sound like someone from a porno,.’ He freezes, realising what he just said, as though alluding to the fact that he may have actually seen pornography.
‘Porno?’ Lilly chuckles again, ‘posh porno eh? Is that your thing?’
‘What? Me? No, fuck no…shit…I never watched any it was er…something Cookey said.’
‘Would you like a shovel for that hole Nicholas,’ she looks up through tear misted eyes and smiles sadly.
‘Yeah,’ he nods, ‘a big one please. You okay?’
‘Fine. Thank you,’ she says with real meaning, ‘I don’t know we would have done without you.’
‘You’d survive,’ he shrugs, becoming painfully aware that the re-assuring hug he offered is fast evolving into an embrace.
The scream, when it comes, rips through the air making both of them flinch. High-pitched with anguish and pain and so unexpected they freeze for the most fleeting of seconds. Hearts boom with fright and adrenalin as Nick pulls away, his longer legs working as he pumps his arms racing towards the garden ahead.
‘TODD…’ Lilly screams out sprinting just behind Nick, ‘TODD?’
The scream keeps going, one, long, pitiful sound that chills her to the core. Though the gate, Nick turns quickly behind the thick hedgerow, pushing round a cluster of low ferns. He sees Todd on his front, his shorts round his ankles and a crawler biting deep into his calf. Beating his arms against the ground, Todd wails in pain and terror. Nick surges in, kicking it off but he’s too late.
Snapping back, the undead rolls away from the blow. It has greying skin drawn tight over its cheekbones, eyes sunk and deep with only a few wisps of matted hair left on his filthy scalp. The thing bares its teeth, gnashing to get at Nick.
No axe and no pistol, so he uses his feet, stamping down and kicking to get the zombie further away from Todd. Again and again with increasing force, he stamps the sole of his boot, snapping bones, the nose and cheeks to bits.
‘Todd!’ Lilly drops down clutching the boy in her arms as he cries in agony, ‘oh Todd…oh my god!’
The neck snaps with the final hard kick, the head lolling to one side as Nick looks round at the area, spotting the drag marks across the lawn and flowerbeds made by the zombie slowly pulling itself along. Furious inside that he didn’t check the garden, that the one spot they choose has an undead in it.
‘Todd,’ Lilly sobs. Holding him tight, she fights the rising panic and uses one hand to grab at the ragged wound in an attempt to stem the bleeding.
‘Let go.’ Nick speaks low and urgent, yanking her hand free and checking the wound; a deep bite down to the bone. Two minutes at the most before he turns.
‘Do something,’ Lilly pleads, ‘Nick…do something please.’
Moving round to the boys head he smiles down, soothing the hair plastered to his forehead. ‘You’re going to be okay,’ Nick speaks clear and confident, stroking the boys head he watches as the screams die out leaving a terrified little boy gasping with pain.
Remembering what Lani said he smiles down, ‘everything is fine Todd, it’s just a tiny bite…that’s all, just a tiny cut that we clean up,’ Todd looks up, locking his frightened eyes on Nick, he stares pitifully, hanging on the comfort offered. ‘Does it hurt?’ Nick asks.
Shaking his head, ‘no,’ Todd whimpers.
‘See,’ Nick smiles, ‘it’s getting better already. We’ll just rest here for a minute then we can go get something to drink. You’re going to be alright Todd. You feeling sleepy?’
Nodding slowly, Todd blinks with heavy eyelids. The infection courses through his system and already working to take the small body over.
‘My tummy hurts,’ Todd wriggles as the pain grips his insides.
‘That’s from all those fizzy drinks,’ Nick soothes the boys head, watching as Lilly gently strokes his cheek. ‘All those fizzy drinks and you needed a poo, you have a nice sleep,’ Nick forces himself to keep smiling, ‘have a nice sleep Todd and we’ll carry you into the van and then we can find Billy.’ The boy writhes for a second then gradually goes still. Eyelids fluttering as unconsciousness threatens to pull him under any second.
‘Ssshhh,’ Nick says softly, ‘you sleep Todd, have a nice sleep and you’ll feel better.’
‘I want my mummy,’ Todd snaps his eyes open, fighting against the urge pulling him under.
‘I know,’ Nick says. The lad is finished, dying in his arms. ‘Todd,’ he says softly, ‘your mummy is at the place we’re going to, she is waiting for you.’
Todd looks up with a fresh glimmer of hope in his eyes.
‘That’s right,’ Nick swallows to stop the tears, ‘she told me not to tell you because she wanted to surprise you b
ut she is there and…and I’m going to take you to see her…so you have a nice sleep Todd, sleep and have nice dreams and when you wake up you’ll be with your mummy.’
The boy smiles, a feeble twitch of the lips as the eyes start to defocus.
‘And your mummy told me to tell you something,’ Nick continues, ‘she said to tell you she loves you very much and she misses you. She has a great big cuddle waiting for you and she is so proud of you Todd, really proud, and she loves you with all of her heart.’
Sobs break from Lilly as she clamps her mouth shut, forcing herself to smile at Todd.
‘That’s right Todd, Mummy is waiting and she can’t wait to see you. You sleep Todd, you’ve been so brave, such a brave boy,’ stroking his cheeks they watch his eyes close for the last time. The small chest ceases movement as the infection takes the body.
‘Todd?’ Lilly whispers.
‘It’s done,’ Nick mutters softly, ‘we have to move away.’
‘Todd?’ Lilly drops closer to his face, Nick ready to react for the turn.
‘Lilly, we have to move away,’ he urges. Watching closely, he gives her a few seconds to drop her mouth and kiss his forehead, wet tears falling from her eyes to soak his pale, lifeless cheeks.
‘Now Lilly,’ Nicks says firmer, ‘we have to move now.’
‘I can’t,’ Lilly sobs. Nick doesn't hesitate but grabs the girl by her shoulders, pulling her roughly away. ‘Get off,’ she screams out, pushing against him.
‘No,’ Nick growls. Keeping grip he pulls the girl away from the body, ‘Lilly we have to move now.’
‘Get your hands off me,’ Lilly shouts lashing out with her hands while sobbing hysterically.
‘Lilly please…’ Nick takes another blow to the head, wincing as it strikes the bruised bit she caused earlier.
‘TODD….’ Lilly screams. Fighting to get free she thrashes against Nick, pushing and pulling to get his hands off her arms.
She fights so hard that Nick has no choice. Sweeping her legs out as gently as possible, he lowers her to the ground, wrapping his arms round her chest to stop her breaking free knowing she’ll rush back to the boy.