by RR Haywood
‘Up a bit…no not there…bit left…too much go back…yeah that’s it, just in there.’
‘Does it hurt a lot?’ Paula asks.
‘No, it’s a tiny pain really, but that’s what tumours do. They just grow silently until they’re the size of bowling balls.’
‘I can’t feel anything Roy,’ flattening her hand she rubs all round the area, pushing harder then gently.
‘Hmmm,’ Roy sighs at the relaxing sensation produced by the inadvertent back rub.
‘Twist round,’ she orders gently. Smiling she starts using both hands to rub his back on the premise of searching for growths, ‘no….’ she says slowly, ‘really can’t feel anything here…’
‘Uh huh,’ Roy mutters, ‘must be something there.’
‘Want me to keep checking? Maybe down here?’ She slowly works down his back, kneading and pressing into the muscles. Sitting cross legged, his head starts dropping as his body relaxes. What a strange man she muses, so competent yet so afraid. What an awful life to have lived every day gripped with irrational fear and being unable to apply logical thinking. It must have dictated his entire life and defined who he was. Yet here he is, not only surviving the apocalypse, but thriving. Healthy, fit and fully in control, he has a complete lack of fear towards the undead, genuinely unbothered about them or anything else going on for that matter.
She’s noticed too that he stays close to her, like they are a pair now, a team within a team. Howie has his lot, Maddox has his crews and they all work together with Paula and Roy.
After what happened in the office on the night it started with that bastard Clarke, she made a decision to reject any form of human contact and go it alone. But as she glances round at the people resting quietly nearby, she realises that she has changed. These people are important to her now, important enough for her to risk her life for, safe in the knowledge that they would also risk their life for her. She is not alone anymore.
‘Did you find something?’ Roy asks. Paula blinks as she realises she’s stopped rubbing and is scratching the back of her right hand absent-mindedly as she thinks. Looking down, she spots the swelling of a definite lump over the last knuckle of her little finger.
‘Oh,’ she mutters taking a closer look.
‘What?’ Roy asks twisting round he notices her staring at her hand, ‘you alright?’
‘Er, yeah,’ she nods quickly.
‘Cor fucking hell, that’s a bit swollen,’ he nods at her hand. ‘Here let me see,’ gently he pulls her hand closer to peer down closely, ‘insect bite,’ he mutters, ‘you got a tiny puncture in the skin, must be allergic to something, is it itchy?’
‘Yeah I was scratching without realising.’
‘Insect,’ Roy nods confidently, ‘maybe a little spider…what?’
‘Don’t say spider,’ she shudders.
‘You don’t like spiders?’
‘I’m terrified of them,’ she half grins, remembering the one in the mechanics workshop toilet creeping towards her. She re-tells the story, putting herself as the idiot blundering about whacking zombies while trying to evade a tiny harmless creature. Chuckling at the story, Roy watches her speaking, absorbed by the self-effacing manner of this beautiful, confident woman.
More than once he’s been called misanthropic with his general distaste for all things humanity, and the thought of teaming up with anyone, even a beautiful woman, would have sent feelings of repulsion through him.
He was a good looking man, fit and athletic with a very intelligent mind and deep down he was also exceptionally kind. It was the anxiety that made him appear self-obsessed and selfish, and in turn, that tended to drive people away. They never understood and just kept saying things like get over it, snap out of it, just don’t think about it. Only that wasn’t possible, there was something wrong with his mind. He knew that and as years went by he just kind of accepted it.
A sensation would appear in his body and his mind would go into meltdown with an immediate assumption it was some horrific, fatal disease. He was checked, given a clean bill of health and would be fine for a few days until the next one started.
Like Paula, he rejected thoughts of teaming up with anyone, instead embracing the solace in return for not being judged.
Again, he feels differently now. With Paula on hand to soothe his fears, he can concentrate on things other than himself. For the first time in years, he can work with other people towards a common aim. These people were very capable and willing to get stuck in, plus with everything going on they haven’t judged him.
He likes the quiet Mr Howie and the immense power oozing from him, same with Maddox. That youth is deeply intelligent and very tough. Dave, Clarence and even those lads with them. They all seem, well they seem right. Right for this. The right people to deal with it. They cut down so many last night, more than he could ever imagine and with Paula by his side he didn’t have to worry about covering his back.
This fort isn’t his, it means nothing to him. He only came here thinking there would be doctors to check him over and find the many diseases that must have developed in the last two weeks. He could walk away, go find his van and survive the way he was before, only something is stopping him. A sense of a mission started that has to be seen through. Secure the fort, re-establish control for Mr Howie and Maddox then he and Paula can go find some doctors and medical equipment. Yep, that’s the plan. Isn’t it? Is there another reason for staying here? There is something else deep down that has yet to surface into a tangible thought. Paula resumes the back rub and that intangible thought floats a bit closer to the surface.
Maybe another reason for staying.
Maybe.
Thirty Six
The chair is too big for him. His legs dangle with his feet still inches from the ground. Hands on his lap, he watches the man.
Never in his young life has Billy seen such a man before. His mind reeling from recent events, he just stares in wonder at the person in front of him.
‘So young Billy,’ the Doc smiles, showing a great big mouth full of slightly crooked teeth. Billy doesn't know where to look. The teeth are big, his mouth is big, his nose is bigger than any nose he has seen before and those eyes. A light shade of blue edging into grey and so cold yet so friendly at the same time. Almost hypnotic and Billy stares in a trance like state.
‘How are you feeling?’ The Doc asks in a deep voice that rolls from his mouth. ‘I understand,’ he says, when Billie doesn’t answer. He then stands upright causing young Billy to crane his neck back just to look up.
‘You need me here?’ Larson asks from the door.
‘No, no I don’t think so,’ the Doc replies, ‘I think Billy and I will be just fine.’ The Doc crosses the room in three easy strides to stand next to Larson. Billy stares at the height difference. Being young and small means everyone looks big to Billy, but the Doc towers over Larson. He towers over everything.
Tall but not wide, with long arms and legs, and huge hands with great big long fingers and thick nails on the ends.
‘Call if you need me,’ Larson nods. Walking out he pulls the door closed behind him sealing Billy in the room with this strangest of men.
‘Larson,’ the Doc opens the door calling after the man, ‘tell Vince I will speak to him shortly.’
‘Will do,’ Larson nods. Billy watches this interaction wondering why the Doc didn’t just say that to Vince himself. Vince is stood right there, right next to Larson.
‘Ah,’ the Doc grins, turning back to Billy like he forgot he was there. Crossing back over the room, he pulls a wheeled chair out from under a desk and pushes it across the room towards Billy.
‘That’s better,’ he sighs as he eases himself into the chair. Still smiling he watches Billy, ‘one of the few disadvantages of being so tall,’ the Doc explains, ‘get sore knees,’ he adds with a conspiring wink.
‘So Billy, tell me about you,’ a gentle question but a command nonetheless. Billy doesn't know what to say but looks at t
he man’s hair. Long and grey and it hangs limply down to his shoulders. There was a man in Billy’s town that had hair like that. Mummy said the man was homeless which means he had lost his home. Billy thought this was odd as a house was very big, so how did you lose it? Unless you forget where you put it but then you could just ask someone to help find it, like he did when he couldn’t find one of his toys.
‘I understand,’ the Doc repeats knowingly, ‘you must be terrified and I understand that Billy, really I do. I’m a doctor Billy, do you know what that means?’
Billy nods, a small tiny movement.
‘Good,’ the Doc beams showing his crooked teeth again, ‘a doctor is an expert who knows everything about the body, my body, your body, everyone’s body. Like a mechanic that fixes cars a doctor fixes bodies. That’s what I do,’ the Doc continues in a deep rumble, ‘now, do you know what is happening?’
The question is too broad for Billy to understand so he simply stays quiet and watches the man.
‘I shall tell you,’ the Doc adds, ‘do you know what a disease is Billy? A disease is when some germs get inside your body and make you sick. Like when you get a cold and can’t stop coughing or sneezing. That is like a disease. Some diseases like the cold, are quite harmless and don’t really hurt us because our bodies can do things that make them go away. Some diseases are stronger and the body can’t make them go away, but doctors have medicines and we can use those medicines to make them go away.’ The Doc pauses, taking a breath and nodding with a quick grin.
‘What’s happened out there Billy, is that a new disease has got inside some of the bodies. That disease makes people very, very sick and it makes them want to bite other people. When one person bites another person, it means the disease can move from the first body to the second body. Now Billy, this disease is brand new. We have never known of this disease before. So we don’t have any medicines for it. Do you understand Billy? If someone gets this disease there is nothing we can do to help them, and if we just leave them alone they will bite other people and then lots more will get the disease.
‘So I thought, being a doctor,’ he nods, ‘what we need, is a safe place away from all of the people with the disease. Next I thought, “hey, who shall I invite to live in my safe place?” And you know what Billy? I wanted children to come and live with me. Oh adults can look after themselves, they are big and can run fast but children, well, they are small and young and can’t run so fast so I want this safe place to be for the children. Children like you Billy. We already have other children here but I want more,’ the Doc chuckles holding his big hands spread out. ‘Every room should be full of laughing children that are having fun. We have lessons,’ the Doc drops into a serious tone, ‘lessons are important and children should be taught to read and write and yes Billy, we have bedtimes too as children also need lots of sleep so they can grow big and strong, but we have nice food and lots of space to play and have fun!’
‘But in order to keep all these wonderful, happy children safe we have to have guards Billy, like the queen has people to make sure nothing bad happens to her, well we have the same thing. We have big, strong men with guns that are here to protect us, so there is no need to be frightened of them.’ Leaning forward the Doc drops into a whisper, ‘I know some of them swear and say rude things and that’s very naughty, but sometimes we have to ignore things like that so we can all be safe.’ The Doc sits upright, hands on his knees and beaming happily. When he doesn't say anything, Billy feels that he should speak now, but he can’t remember if there was a question. Fidgeting nervously, he tries to think of everything the Doc just said. It all made sense but he can’t really remember it now.
‘Now onto the serious business,’ the Doc adopts a mock serious manner, ‘we don’t want the disease to ever get into our safe place, do we Billy?’
That is a question and Billy nods first, then realises he should be shaking his head so does that instead.
‘That’s right,’ the Doc says, ‘we don’t want it here, we don’t want that disease to get anywhere near my children, so we have some tests to make sure the disease doesn't get in here. Now Billy, I have a couple of questions for you and I need you to be really honest and not tell me any lies…do you understand?’
Billy nods.
‘Good, has anyone bitten you Billy? Anyone at all, say your mummy or daddy or even a friend, maybe a dog or cat? Anyone at all, has anyone bitten you?’
Billy shakes his head.
‘Has anyone tried to bite you?’
Billy shakes his head.
‘Good,’ the Doc smiles, ‘now, has anyone scratched you like a cat scratches with its sharp claws. Has anyone scratched you Billy?’
Billy shakes his head.
‘Has anyone tried to scratch you?’
Again, Billy shakes his head.
‘Now Billy, this is a disgusting question but very, very important. Has anyone got blood on you? Blood that wasn’t yours?’
Billy nods earning a sudden interested look from the Doc.
‘They have?’
Billy nods again.
‘Who got blood on you Billy? You can tell me, go on…’
‘The man,’ Billy whispers.
‘The man? What man Billy?’
‘The man that did wrestling with Sam and he hurt Norman and my Dad.’
‘Wrestled with Sam? What does that mean Billy? Who is Sam?’
‘Sam was my sister’s friend, the man pulled her pants down and wrestled with her but she didn’t like it and she cried so the man hit her.’
‘Did he now?’ The Doc says softly, ‘and he hurt your Daddy too and the other man, Norman?’
Billy nods.
‘Was it the man that brought you here Billy? Was it Vince?’
Billy shakes his head.
‘The man that was with Vince, he did all of that?’
Billy nods.
‘What did Vince do?’
‘He was watching,’ Billy mutters, unable to take his eyes off the Doc’s face.
‘I see, and it was after the man wrestled with Sam, and hurt your Daddy and Norman ,that you got blood on you, is that right?’
Billy nods.
‘Right,’ the Doc says slowly, ‘hmmm, I think Billy that I need to talk to Vince for a minute. Can you wait here for me?’
Billy nods.
‘Good boy,’ the Doc smiles but this time there isn’t any humour in his eyes, ‘you stay right there and don’t move.’ The Doc spins round on the chair and strides across the room, pulling the door firmly shut behind him.
Billy does as told and stays rooted to the chair. Outside the room he hears an angry voice and footsteps, then a door slams shut. The angry voice shouts and another noise, like someone slapping their hand on the table. Someone yelps like they hurt themselves. Billy hears more hands on the table and more yelps. Then the yelping stops and a big thud sounds out. The shouting carries on for a little while with more loud banging noises. Then it all goes quiet. Footsteps, door opens and closes, footsteps again, then silence.
After a minute the door opens and the Doc walks in. His face is flushed like he has run up and down the stairs. Billy notices some red ink has splashed on the bottom of his long, white coat. It looks like the coat doctors wear on TV, but a lot dirtier. Mummy would tell him off if he got his coat that dirty.
Breathing hard, the Doc crosses the room and picks up a radio walkie talkie from the desk.
‘Larson.’
‘Here Doc.’
‘I’ve spoken to Vince, can you please deal with him.’
‘Will do Doc.’
‘Right,’ the Doc takes a deep breath before turning to face Billy, ‘I have spoken to Vince and he has said he is very sorry for letting his friend hurt your daddy and the…er…other people, he said it will never happen again. Now where were we? Oh yes, you got some blood on you, didn’t you Billy?’
Billy nods, watching the beads of sweat fall from the Doc’s large, broad forehead.
&nb
sp; ‘Now, although I am very, very sure the blood was not the diseased blood, we still need to give you a thorough check-up, just to be completely sure. Is that alright with you Billy?’
Billy nods. At this current time he would nod to anything.
‘Have you seen a doctor before Billy?’
‘I had acheear.’
‘You mean earache, so you saw a doctor because your ear hurt yes?’
Billy nods.
‘And I bet the doctor had a torch and he looked in both your ears yes?’
Billy nods, remembering the shiny object the doctor held in her hands.
‘If you had a sore throat the doctor would check your mouth, and if you had a bad foot the doctor would check your foot, wouldn’t they? So what I have to do Billy, is I have check all of you. I need to check all of your body just to make extra sure that you don’t have anything wrong with you, do you understand?’
Billy nods, not really understanding.
‘Good boy, now you get your clothes off and we’ll get you all checked. Then after that you can have some food with Mrs Meryl and then you can meet the other boys and girls.’
Billy holds still wondering what the doctor means. He said get your clothes off and now he’s looking like he’s expecting Billy to do something.
Get your clothes off.
Billy eases forward to drop from the too-big-chair. Slowly, he grabs the bottom of his tee-shirt and starts pulling it up. The Doc grins and nods before turning round to take something from his desk.
‘Good boy Billy, and the pants too…that’s it. I’m a doctor Billy and I have seen many, many naked people so don’t you worry about anything.’
Billy works at his button, wishing Lilly was here to help him. His mummy was with his when the doctor looked in his ears but now he’s alone. Slowly, he pulls his shorts and pants down to stand naked.
‘Have you seen one of these before Billy?’ The Doc looks the boy up and down whilst holding out his stethoscope.
Billy nods then shakes his head; he’s seen them on television but not in real life.
‘This is called a stethoscope.’ The Doc drops down onto his knees in front of Billy and reaches towards him, ‘here, you put these bits in your ears like this,’ he pushes the ends into Billy’s ears. ‘Ah, your ears are too small, here you hold them.’ Billy reaches up to hold the end next to his ears.