by K M Leach
"Lucy. I think we need to talk about this."
Lucy was disappointed that Bonnie had covered herself up and she was even more disappointed that it appeared that the brunette wasn't going to let the subject drop.
"What do you want me to say, Bonnie?"
The words came out angry and it surprised her and she hated seeing how her tone caused the brunette to flinch. She couldn't stop though, because she suddenly felt the urge to scream and cry.
"I was almost raped. I was moments away from being violated when you stopped him. I was drunk and I acted irresponsibly in that bar and I attracted the attention of a sick fuck that almost got what he wanted. I'm sorry because you had to come to my rescue. If I hadn't been so out of control, I wouldn't have needed to go outside to get some air and vomit. It could have been so easily avoided. Is he alive? We just left and surely the cops are going to be looking for us. You had to stab him and I hit him with the car. We could get into serious trouble and it's all my fault! I am trying not to think about it because when I do I feel so ashamed and so angry."
Bonnie's eyes were soft with compassion and they shimmered with unshed tears.
"Don't look at me like that, Bonnie! And I don't want to fucking talk about!"
Bonnie's gaze was unwavering, "So you want to just push it all down and let it eat you up from the inside. Because it will, Lucy."
The brunette's tone was hard and held a profound hint of knowledge. Lucy had a feeling that something had happened to Bonnie in the past and that she was speaking from experience.
"I'm sorry, Bonnie. I shouldn't have talked to you like that. It's not your fault and I shouldn't be taking out my frustration about how weak and out of control I am feeling right now on you."
"You don't need to apologise. I just don't want you to go through it alone."
"I know. You are a wonderful friend, Bonnie and I promise that I will talk about it... just not now. I would rather focus on us and how our friendship is changing." A lopsided smile formed as she allowed her eyes to take in Bonnie's scantily clad form. "Have I told you how much I like your swim suit. Though to be honest, I think I like it better without the top."
Bonnie laughed and shook her head. "My, my.... Aren't you being very forward right now. What happened to the flustered mess I had to calm down earlier?" As an afterthought, she added, "And don't think that I didn't notice the smooth subject change either."
"That was when I wasn't sure if what was going on, was just in my head or not. And don't forget that I had just walked in on my gorgeous best friend naked and bathed in sunlight, looking so very much like an amazon goddess."
Bonnie felt herself blush as she listened to Lucy's words and saw the undisguised lust in her eyes.
But is it just lust? I'm in love with her. I know she loves me and lusts after my body, but is her love as deep and consuming as mine?
Does it really matter right now? Just let things happen naturally and enjoy this new development and flirt back stupid, Bonnie's inner voice responded.
Lucy had begun to panic a little as Bonnie just sat there staring at her, but not actually seeing her.
"Too much?" the blonde asked worriedly breaking Bonnie from her internal dialogue.
"No! Not at all. I am incredibly flattered by your description of me. No one has ever referred to me as an Amazon Goddess before. Thank you." Bonnie picked up the bottle of suntan oil and held it out to Lucy. "Would you?" Lucy mechanically took the offering and watched as Bonnie lay back down on her stomach and once again undid her top. "I don't get this bronzed tan without some work. It always helps to have someone to reach the spots that I can't," Bonnie said finishing her comment with a wink.
Lucy's mouth went dry and she was thankful that she had packed a bottle of water as she slurped down a couple of mouthfuls. Looking was one thing, but now Bonnie was giving her permission to touch her and her heart hammered in her chest as she crawled towards Bonnie and knelt down close to her side. She popped the lid and squeezed a generous amount of the coconut scented lotion into the palm of her hand. She also trailed a line down the brunette's spine, causing her to shudder when the cool stream met her heated skin. Lucy started at the feet and worked her hands up the strong calves and thighs. She looked at Bonnie's face, which showed nothing as to whether the touching was affecting her like it was Lucy. She paused at the top of Bonnie's thigh's and skipping over the exposed and enticing buttocks to work the lotion onto the brunette's arms, neck, shoulders and back. "You missed a spot, I think," Bonnie murmured, sounding almost sleepy.
Lucy was frustrated by Bonnie's lack of response at the intimate touching. She found her voice as she traced her fingers softly over the thin string that encircled Bonnie's waist and disappeared between the cheeks of her buttocks. "No, I haven't. I was just saving the best till last," the blonde responded, before leaning down and kissing the tight ass cheek closest to her. She smiled when Bonnie finally made a sound and gave her an indication that she wasn't entirely unaffected. Lucy kissed her once more before putting a little more lotion in her hand and kneading Bonnie's buttocks with her hands. She traced her hands once more over the whole length of Bonnie's body before announcing that she was all done and returned to lay face down on her towel.
Bonnie took several minutes to gather her wits before opening her eyes and looking over at Lucy, who was now lying on her towel with her eyes closed. The blonde's fair skin already had a pink tinge to it. Without a word Bonnie sat up, not even bothering with her top and picked up the lotion. She straddled Lucy and sat on her ass, facing her legs. "You are so fair skinned. I don't want to risk you getting burned," Bonnie said as she started to rub lotion up and down Lucy's long legs. Unlike Bonnie, who had a lot of practice in hiding and pushing down her feelings when it came to the blonde beneath her, Lucy had no such training and she moaned as Bonnie ran her hands up her inner thighs and within inches of her sex. Bonnie just smiled proudly to herself at the sounds she was drawing out of the blonde. Bonnie finished with Lucy's legs and turned and faced the blonde's exposed back, making sure to grind herself into her friend's buttock's as she did so, getting another moan in response.
Bonnie didn't talk as she pushed Lucy's hair aside and leant down and gave her a kiss between her shoulder blades. She felt the blonde's breath hitch as her lips touched the milky white skin. Sitting up Bonnie squeezed out some more lotion and rubbed it over Lucy's back and shoulder's. Bonnie continued to grind her hips every now and again against Lucy as she lost herself in massaging the woman beneath her. She finally ran her hands along Lucy's sides, over her shoulders and along the arms that disappeared underneath the blonde's head. She ensured that she pressed her chest against Lucy's back as she did so and drew out a curse from Lucy, who was now pushing her ass up against Bonnie as she unravelled beneath the brunette's touch. Bonnie went up to her knees, lifting herself up from her position on the blonde's ass. Lucy groaned in protest when the pressure of Bonnie sitting on her went away.
"Turn around and face me," Bonnie requested, her voice husky.
Lucy did as asked and turned over, seeing for the first time that the brunette had been topless while she had been giving her the most erotic suntan lotion application ever.
Why didn't I notice when she pressed her chest against me just moments ago, Lucy thought to herself as she just took in the glorious sight of Bonnie kneeling above her.
Does it matter? Just look at her!, her mind screamed back.
"My God, you're beautiful." Lucy rolled her eyes at her pronouncement and how much of an understatement calling Bonnie beautiful was. "Actually beautiful is completely inadequate for just how breathtakingly spectacular you are. I have never seen anyone as stunning as you... you are perfect." Lucy reached out and cupped Bonnie's face and that was when the brunette lowered herself back down to straddle the blonde once more. "Bonnie...I...."
Bonnie was afraid that Lucy was either going to continue to babble or she was going to tell her that she had second thoughts, so she took matters i
nto her own hands and leaned down and captured Lucy's mouth with her own, cutting off whatever the blonde was going to say. Lucy's arms went around Bonnie's back and pulled her closer as they welcomed each other's tongues in a duel for supremacy. Bonnie moaned into Lucy's mouth when the blonde's hands ran down her suntan oil slicked back to grasp her buttocks firmly. Lucy's hips pressed up as she urged Bonnie to grind herself against her with her firm grip on her ass. Bonnie was drowning as they continued to kiss feverishly, their breathing coming raggedly from their noses as they fought their need for oxygen and devoured each others mouths. Lucy continued to cause friction between them and Bonnie was getting dangerously close to losing control and climaxing.
Lucy wanted to go slow!, her brain screamed through the haze of pleasure.
She wants it as badly as me, Bonnie reasoned with her internal voice as they separated for a moment, breathing hard, their eyes hooded with need and desire, the raft rocking with the movement of Bonnie's hips that didn't need Lucy's assistance anymore as she rocketed closer to orgasm.
Stop now!, Her mind screeched again as Lucy's hands went between them and found Bonnie's breasts. This can't be your first time. You have to tell her you love her first! You don't want it to happen here and then Lucy regrets it. This is the time when you don't go straight for the instant gratification. Lucy is more than a physical release. You have waited this long what's another day or two?
Lucy's mouth found Bonnie's again, but she resisted the embrace and the need that consumed her. Bonnie tensed and tore her mouth from Lucy's, "Wait!," she gasped.
Lucy didn't respond, she just tried to take command of Bonnie's mouth again. When she felt one of Lucy's hands sliding down her stomach, edging towards her aching core, it snapped her out of her daze and she sprung back separating herself from Lucy's hold.
Bonnie was gasping for breath and she was sure that she had a terrified look on her face because Lucy's eyes cleared and she reached out to the brunette in concern. "Bonnie? What's wrong? I'm sorry."
Bonnie moved out of Lucy's reach. "Don't.. be.. sorry." She was still breathing hard, her heart urging her to move into Lucy's warm embrace again. "You've done nothing wrong."
"But...," Lucy urged.
"You said you wanted to go slow and I don't want to be just a frenzied fuck on a raft. I want more...... for the first time... I want more. If I crawl back into your arms right now, I know I won't be strong enough to stop it from going too far. I need us both to be sure that we want to risk our friendship, Lucy. Please tell me you understand what I'm saying?"
Lucy lowered her hand that had been beckoning for her to return. "I understand..I just..with you touching me and looking like you do. And you are right, I did suggest we go slow and me grabbing you and kissing you like that is certainly not going slow."
Bonnie crossed the raft and picked up her top and refastened it across her breasts. It's always about my looks, she thought sadly to herself.
"I am not complaining about the touching or the kissing, Lucy, believe me. I mean I kissed you first. I initiated the kiss. I just want to take it slow before we actually sleep together. I have had so many meaningless attachments and I know you are probably thinking that I am just curious after what happened at the service station... but..." Bonnie closed her eyes letting her voice trail off.
"But," Lucy said again, curiosity filling those warm, whisky coloured eyes.
Bonnie exhaled a deep breath, "But I need it to be more that just physical if we are going to put our friendship on the line. Your friendship means more to me than anything and it would kill me if I lost it, okay?"
Lucy nodded slowly trying to read between the lines because she felt that it was more than just risking their friendship through exploring this new physical sexual awareness. "What aren't you saying?"
Bonnie flashed Lucy a smile, "All in good time, my dear. All in good time. Right now I am going to swim back to cool off. You coming?"
Lucy smiled, accepting Bonnie's choice in not sharing whatever she was holding back for the moment, "I'll be along in a moment. You go on ahead."
"Are we okay?"
Lucy nodded. "Yes. Always. Whatever happens or doesn't happen. You will always have my friendship. I love you, Bonnie."
"I know. How could you not, right," Bonnie said with a wink before turning and diving into the crystal blue water of the lake. She reemerged several feet away and began to swim to shore.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
Lucy watched her as she thought about what had just happened. It had been frenzied and intense and if Bonnie hadn't put a stop to it they would have made love right here on the raft. Made love?, Lucy thought. She could have thought that they would have had sex right here where she was sitting, but she knew that it would have been more than that and Lucy realised that Bonnie had said the same thing. Bonnie said she wanted it to be more than just a fuck. Did that mean that she thought that Lucy was only interested in her in a purely physical way. Bonnie had bought that bikini and she had put on an incredible show that had made Lucy crazy with need.
She had spent years watching Bonnie seduce countless men and she sensed that Bonnie would continue to push the limits and would tease and flirt mercilessly with her until she was ready to admit that what they were feeling was more than physical. She suspected that she had been blind to Bonnie's true feelings for her, for quite some time. Things hadn't started to feel different until Nadine had walked out on her. She hadn't been in any state to notice that from the moment Nadine had left her devastated and alone after so many years that there was an instant undercurrent awakened between her and Bonnie.
Bonnie had stayed supportive and strong as Lucy had grieved the loss of her companion. She had just nodded as Bonnie had told her that she deserved better and that there was someone out there that loved her more than life itself and would never put their job or anything else above her happiness. She hadn't noticed the look in Bonnie's eyes that spoke to her, pleaded with her, to see that the person she was talking about was right in front of her.
Lucy gasped as she asked the question that seemed to have been hovering in a deep recess of her mind for years, even when she had been happy and in love with Nadine.
Is Bonnie in love with me?
Lucy had always scoffed at Nadine when she made comments about Bonnie being in love with her. She had chalked it up to Nadine feeling threatened by Bonnie's beauty and their close friendship, but now she wasn't so sure. Had she been so blind that she just hadn't noticed or was she right this instant completely off the mark in thinking that her best friend and confidante was indeed in love with her.
Lucy loved Bonnie with all her heart. The only thing that made them best friends instead of lovers was the physical aspect. But if Bonnie felt the same and was indeed in love with her, she would've had to have ignored those feelings for years, even as Lucy had lived blissfully unaware with Nadine.
"Oh my God," Lucy said softly, as she watched Bonnie walk out of the water and head towards the cabin. The blonde's heart stopped when Bonnie turned back to look at her across the water with her hand shielding her eyes from the sun and gave her a wave, which Lucy returned. Bonnie then proceeded to take off her bikini just outside the cabin, hanging the top and bottoms over the railing of the small porched area and then headed inside.
Lucy decided to pack up and head back as well. This revelation was weighing heavily on the blonde because she found herself thinking of what it would have been like to live in Bonnie's shoes over the years. Lucy thought it would have been torture to watch someone you were in love with be happy and in love with someone else. Her mind was chaotic as she swam back to the cabin and she was thankful that Bonnie was in her room when she entered the living area. She went straight to her own room and shut the door, needing some time to figure out whether she should ask Bonnie outright what her feelings were or to allow her friend the freedom to tell her in her own time. All Lucy knew for sure was that she would not leave the cabin at the end of the week without telling
Bonnie that she loved her and wanted to be with her, mind, body and soul.
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
The next morning Bonnie found herself waking up alone in Lucy's bed. She allowed her mind to drift back to the previous evening. Bonnie had showered and had put on a pair of boy-short panties and a form hugging tank top, followed by her kimono. She noticed that Lucy's bedroom door was closed so she padded down the hall to search out something to make them for dinner. She had first thought about foregoing any clothes and just holding out her hand to Lucy and guiding her to the bedroom, but she had reasoned that she had just insisted that they take it slow on the raft just under an hour before so she had resisted the temptation.