by David Long
Manufactured Water
Having discovered what he called ‘inflammable air’ or hydrogen in 1766, the honourable, Hackney-educated Henry Cavendish (see Chapter 11) successfully synthesised water at his private laboratory on Clapham Common by exploding his inflammable air in the presence of oxygen.
Ice-Rink
A sad loss for London, the world’s first artificially frozen ice-rink was the Glaciarium, which opened in 1844 in King Street, Covent Garden. Landscaped with a panorama of Lake Lucerne, it was an expensive day out – with entry charged at 1s. for spectators and an extra shilling for anyone wishing to skate – but a huge improvement on previous rinks, which, in place of ice, had used a rather disgusting combination of lard and salt.
Jigsaw
As long ago as 1766, London engraver John Spilsbury created what he called ‘dissected maps’. As a means of entertaining and educating children, they caught on almost immediately, and very soon his company was hand-cutting maps of the world, Europe, Asia, Africa, America, England, Wales, Ireland and Scotland. Despite their popularity, he continued in his other, more serious work, and several Spilsbury engravings are on display in the National Portrait Gallery.
Plastic
The world’s first plastic was manufactured in East London and patented in 1856. Called Parkesine, after its inventor Alexander Parkes, a tendency to explode means it was less successful – and is now somewhat less well known – than its Belgian rival, Bakelite.
Roller Skates
These, too, were invented by a Belgian, John Joseph Merlin, an ‘ingenious mechanick’ who spent much of his life living in London. Demonstrating his skill in 1760 at a ball in Soho Square, he rocketed into the ballroom playing the violin and seriously injured himself by crashing into a large mirror. (This was valued by its owner at £500, to which can be added a couple of zeros to allow for inflation.)
Home Video
Manufactured by Major Radiovision of Wigmore Street in 1934, and on sale by mail order from Selfridges for 7s. each (35p), flat 10-in Radiovision discs could store 12 minutes of programming to be played back for private use only at 78 rpm.
Flushing Loo
In 1596, Queen Elizabeth’s godson Sir John Harington published a paper called A New Discourse of a Stale Subject, Called the Metamorphosis of Ajax, which described a new type of loo which he had devised. He kindly installed one for Her Majesty’s personal use at Richmond Palace, but the monarch declined to use it as she didn’t like the noise it made.
WEIRD, WONDERFUL . . . AND USELESS
Anti-Seasick Ship
A resident of Denmark Hill, the otherwise highly successful Victorian entrepreneur Sir Henry Bessemer conceived the good ship SS Bessemer to counteract the normal rolling motion caused by the sea. It did this by suspending a huge weight beneath the main saloon so that passengers stayed upright as the ship rolled from side to side. It sounded good, and a mock-up worked well enough on land, but once at sea the prototype proved impossible to steer and crashed into the pier at Calais.
New and Improved Parachute
In 1837, at Vauxhall Gardens on the south bank of the Thames, Robert Cocking demonstrated his new and improved parachute by ascending in a balloon to 5,000 ft and jumping out. With thousands gathered below to see him in action, it quickly became apparent that his new design didn’t work. Cocking’s parachute failed to open, and he died shortly after hitting the ground.
Atmospheric Railway
Romanticised by the Victorians as an ‘invisible rope of air’, an experimental version of London’s first atmospheric railway opened on Wormwood Scrubs in 1840. This used air pressure in sealed pneumatic tubes to suck and blow the trains along, but unfortunately when the idea was taken up by the London & Croydon Railway, it failed when rats chewed their way through the leather seals and it lost suction.
Cable Railway
For the London and Blackwall Railway running into Fenchurch Street, Robert Stephenson of Rocket fame mounted powerful steam engines at either end of the line and planned to pull the trains back and forth using fourteen miles of hemp rope. Unfortunately, the latter wore out with incredible regularity, and the steel cable replacements proved liable to kink. The service was subsequently abandoned, although the same line is still used today and forms part of the Docklands Light Railway (DLR).
Romance-o-Meter
Sir Francis Galton (see Chapter 11) set out to measure how much his dinner guests fancied each other. He did this by fitting pressure gauges to the legs of his dining room chairs. The idea was to measure the extent to which one guest leaned towards or away from his companions, and thus quantify the degree to which they were attracted to each other.
Basic English
In the 1920s, Charles Kay Ogden, the founder of the Orthological Institute in Bloomsbury’s Gordon Square, convinced himself that the reason countries went to war was because they couldn’t understand what the other side was saying. His solution was to invent Basic English, a language designed to be so simple that even a foreigner could understand it. With a total vocabulary of just 850 words – compared to around 60,000 for an intelligent graduate – it sounded like a non-starter, and so it proved to be.
The Urinette
Following complaints that women had to pay to use cubicles but men could pee for free, the London Public Health Committee came up with its answer in 1927. ‘Known as the urinette,’ the official announcement read, ‘it is similar to a WC but is narrower and has a flushing rim.’ Unfortunately, women were soon said to be using them in ‘an uncleanly manner’ and the eight London boroughs that had adopted them got rid of them just as quickly.
Uphill Struggle
Frustrated at the kinetic energy lost as heat when braking, in 1899 a cyclist from Upper Norwood called James Lauder conceived a means of storing energy that could be gradually released when extra oomph was needed to go uphill. Pedalling increased the air pressure in a central cylinder, a valve then allowing this energy to be released into a pair of oscillating cylinders fitted over the front wheel when required. Unfortunately, this made the bike much harder to pedal, doubly so as the bike was so much heavier than its rivals.
What is the Livery?
The Livery is made up of the ancient trade associations of the City of London. Originally, these were simple guilds established to protect the rights of their members (while ensuring the quality of their products and services) and many trace their origins back to early medieval times.
Now overwhelmingly social, a number nevertheless continue to play an active role in the relevant industry sector and their role in the City remains highly significant. With important landholdings still belonging to the Livery, voting rights are also restricted to liverymen when it comes to electing a new Lord Mayor each year (see Chapter 21 on Ceremonial London).
Despite an adherence to tradition, the Livery continues to grow, however, and, as the names towards the end of the list suggest, new companies are still being established. It is also the case that many members of the older companies continue to be drawn from professionals within the relevant trades, or their modern equivalents. (There are, for example, still carriage-makers in the Worshipful Company of Coachmakers and Coach Harness Makers, with other Liverymen and Freemen of the same company active in the automotive and aeronautical industries.)
Livery Companies’ Order of Precedence
1. The Worshipful Company of Mercers
2. The Worshipful Company of Grocers
3. The Worshipful Company of Drapers
4. The Worshipful Company of Fishmongers
5. The Worshipful Company of Goldsmiths
6. (or 7) The Worshipful Company of Skinners*
7. (or 6) The Worshipful Company of Merchant Taylors*
8. The Worshipful Company of Haberdashers
9. The Worshipful Company of Salters
10. The Worshipful Company of Ironmongers
11. The Worshipful Company of Vintners
12. The Worshipful Company of Clothworkers
13. The Worshipful Company of Dyers
14. The Worshipful Company of Brewers
15. The Worshipful Company of Leathersellers
16. The Worshipful Company of Pewterers
17. The Worshipful Company of Barbers-Surgeons
18. The Worshipful Company of Cutlers
19. The Worshipful Company of Bakers
20. The Worshipful Company of Wax Chandlers
21. The Worshipful Company of Tallow Chandlers
22. The Worshipful Company of Armourers and Brasiers
23. The Worshipful Company of Girdlers
24. The Worshipful Company of Butchers
25. The Worshipful Company of Saddlers
26. The Worshipful Company of Carpenters
27. The Worshipful Company of Cordwainers
28. The Worshipful Company of Painter-Stainers
29. The Worshipful Company of Curriers
30. The Worshipful Company of Masons
31. The Worshipful Company of Plumbers
32. The Worshipful Company of Innholders
33. The Worshipful Company of Founders
34. The Worshipful Company of Poulters
35. The Worshipful Company of Cooks
36. The Worshipful Company of Coopers
37. The Worshipful Company of Tylers and Bricklayers
38. The Worshipful Company of Bowyers
39. The Worshipful Company of Fletchers
40. The Worshipful Company of Blacksmiths
41. The Worshipful Company of Joiners and Ceilers
42. The Worshipful Company of Weavers
43. The Worshipful Company of Woolmen
44. The Worshipful Company of Scriveners
45. The Worshipful Company of Fruiterers
46. The Worshipful Company of Plaisterers
47. The Worshipful Company of Stationers and Newspaper Makers
48. The Worshipful Company of Broderers
49. The Worshipful Company of Upholders
50. The Worshipful Company of Musicians
51. The Worshipful Company of Turners
52. The Worshipful Company of Basketmakers
53. The Worshipful Company of Glaziers and Painters of Glass
54. The Worshipful Company of Horners
55. The Worshipful Company of Farriers
56. The Worshipful Company of Paviors
57. The Worshipful Company of Loriners
58. The Worshipful Society of Apothecaries
59. The Worshipful Company of Shipwrights
60. The Worshipful Company of Spectacle Makers
61. The Worshipful Company of Clockmakers
62. The Worshipful Company of Glovers
63. The Worshipful Company of Feltmakers
64. The Worshipful Company of Framework Knitters
65. The Worshipful Company of Needlemakers
66. The Worshipful Company of Gardeners
67. The Worshipful Company of Tin Plate Workers
68. The Worshipful Company of Wheelwrights
69. The Worshipful Company of Distillers
70. The Worshipful Company of Pattenmakers
71. The Worshipful Company of Glass Sellers
72. The Worshipful Company of Coachmakers and Coach Harness Makers
73. The Worshipful Company of Gunmakers
74. The Worshipful Company of Gold and Silver Wyre Drawers
75. The Worshipful Company of Makers of Playing Cards
76. The Worshipful Company of Fanmakers
77. The Worshipful Company of Carmen
78. The Honourable Company of Master Mariners
79. The City of London Solicitors’ Company
80. The Worshipful Company of Farmers
81. The Guild of Air Pilots and Air Navigators
82. The Worshipful Company of Tobacco Pipe Makers and Tobacco Blenders
83. The Worshipful Company of Furniture Makers
84. The Worshipful Company of Scientific Instrument Makers
85. The Worshipful Company of Chartered Surveyors
86. The Worshipful Company of Chartered Accountants in England and Wales
87. The Worshipful Company of Chartered Secretaries and Administrators
88. The Worshipful Company of Builders Merchants
89. The Worshipful Company of Launderers
90. The Worshipful Company of Marketors
91. The Worshipful Company of Actuaries
92. The Worshipful Company of Insurers
93. The Worshipful Company of Arbitrators
94. The Worshipful Company of Engineers
95. The Worshipful Company of Fuellers
96. The Worshipful Company of Lightmongers
97. The Worshipful Company of Environmental Cleaners
98. The Worshipful Company of Chartered Architects
99. The Worshipful Company of Constructors
100. The Worshipful Company of Information Technologists
101. The Worshipful Company of World Traders
102. The Worshipful Company of Water Conservators
103. The Worshipful Company of Firefighters
104. The Worshipful Company of Hackney Carriage Drivers
105. The Worshipful Company of Management Consultants
106. The Worshipful Company of International Bankers
107. The Worshipful Company of Tax Advisers
108. The Worshipful Company of Security Professionals
*A longstanding dispute over precedence means these two companies alternate each year, an arrangement that is said to have given rise to the expression ‘at sixes and sevens’ although this, too, is disputed.
LONDON’S OLDEST WORKER?
Making regular appearances on local TV news programmes, French-born Pierre Jean ‘Buster’ Martin (1906–2011) frequently boasted about being London’s oldest employee and famously went in to work at Pimlico Plumbers on the day of his 100th birthday.
Unfortunately, most of his claims have since proved impossible to verify, including his date of birth and the fact that he gained his nickname after punching a priest on the nose when he was only three years old.
In 2008, for example, he insisted that he had completed the London Marathon, but in the absence of any proof of this from the organisers, bookmakers William Hill declined to pay out £13,300 when Martin failed to produce a valid birth certificate. He was also denied an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records, on the grounds that he was almost certainly ninety-four at the time and not – as he claimed – 101.
14
Boozy London
‘I went out drinking for about seventy hours here in London.
At the end, I knew I was done.’
Gary Oldman
For all the millions who have come to know London’s familiar face, like any truly great city it retains its secrets. For every Hampton Court or Westminster Abbey there are many hundreds of lesser treasures, so many indeed that the sheer weight of cultural and architectural wealth can be so overwhelming that many visitors stroll through the streets without even noticing so many fascinating buildings.
That literally thousands of these are open to the public – more than this, they positively welcome visitors, all day and half the night, and without charging even a penny to enter – makes missing the best of them sadder still.
The treasures in question are, of course, London’s historic pubs, an estimated 7,000 of them all told. Of course, not all of them are that special, but with the oldest dating back to as long ago as the thirteenth century, they range widely in appearance and character from simple locals or tiny spit-and-sawdust sorts of places – some still no more than bare boards and beer barrels – through larger, positively labyrinthine coaching inns to plush, cut-glass Victorian gin palaces.
Inevitably, dating them accurately poses all sorts of problems (see below) and many claims to antiquity cheerfully ignore the fact that the building itself has been rebuilt as many times as it has served hot dinners.
; Inevitably, a good few these days have embraced multiculturalism, too, so that where once the only alternative seemed to be Irish pubs, Londoners have more recently been treated to the likes of the Glassy Junction in Southall, the capital’s first Punjabi pub and almost certainly the only one in the capital to accept rupees. There’s also Zeitgeist, offering German food served by German staff accompanied by German beers – more than a dozen on draught and three times that number in bottles – and German soccer relayed via a big screen. (Inevitably, it is known to its regulars as the ‘Wunderbar’.)
The most famous of all, perhaps, is Soho’s French House. Originally called the York Minster, and a popular 1960s Soho haunt of writers and artists, the pub sells more Ricard than any bar in London – but only half pints of beer except on April Fool’s Day. Its nickname, incidentally – the locals originally referring to it as ‘The French’, but now formally adopted – derives from Gaston Berlemont, its most celebrated licensee, although actually he was Belgian.
Even without such exotics as these, however, one is still left with as rich an assortment as you could wish for. Architecturally, London’s pubs are as cheerfully diverse as the city beyond their walls and many like the few described here are real gems, some in their own way as interesting historically as many of the capital’s more traditional attractions and the best of them still able to provide a rare and unspoiled glimpse of old London – as well, of course, as first-class food and refreshment.
MAKE MINE A DOUBLE –
LONDON’S MOST EXPENSIVE SNIFTER
In October 2012, London barman Salvatore Calabrese, formerly of Duke’s Hotel, St James’s, broke the record for the world’s most expensive cocktail with his ‘Playboy Club Salvatore’s Legacy’ ringing the till at £5,500 a shot.
According to the Evening Standard, the costly concoction comprised a number of centuries-old spirits, including 1778 Clos de Griffier Vieux Cognac, 1770 Kummel Liqueur, Dubb Orange Curacao (circa 1860) and two dashes of Angostura bitters from around 1900.