I’m trying to understand what Grizzly’s plan was. If it was to hurt all the women in our club or if he was trying to hurt certain individuals, those incredibly close to my father. Honestly, I don’t think we’ll know until we find him.
A series of gunshots go off in the distance causing the rest of us to be on high alert. It’s all coming from the shed and I run off in that direction, ready to fuck with whoever chose to be here this day. It takes me a couple of minutes longer than I want it to, but I make it to the shed and see Machk, Austin, and two dead bodies.
“Anyone else in here?” I ask, looking to the two of them.
“No, only two men brought me out here. They shoved me in this shed and came back about fifteen minutes later. From the looks of it, I know what they were up to.”
“Motherfuckers,” I curse under my breath, getting more heated with every moment. “Grizzly planned this shit. He wanted my dad to suffer like this. Hell, he wanted us to all suffer like this.”
“He destroyed my family,” Austin seethes, looking to Machk. “I don’t know who this man is, but I want him to pay for everything he has done. I don’t care what needs to be done but know, I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever is fucking needed of me.”
Just as Austin finishes speaking, the red and white lights from a fire truck come barreling down the lane. Another comes into view shortly after it arrives, and then another. Finally, we can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing at least this fire will be put out. We’ll have to do a lot of rebuilding, and bury two bodies, but we’re Reapers and we’re always going to be okay. Life hasn’t knocked us down yet, and it sure as fuck won’t.
Chapter Twenty-Four
You’re always one decision away from a totally different life
~ Unknown
Kade
It’s been a week since our entire life turned to ash— literally. And what a week it’s been. Today is Ivy’s birthday and in a few days, it’ll be Thanksgiving. For the most part, spirits aren’t high around here. After everything that’s happened, there’s not much to be thankful for depending who you are in the club.
My uncle is dead, leaving an empty VP seat at the table, and my father lost the love of his life. He’s barely speaking to anyone, and I doubt he’ll return back to normal anytime soon. I sense that anger, depression, and misery are plaguing his mind. We buried my uncle yesterday and he didn’t say a thing, not one word. Zane, Ashley, and I wrote eulogies while a few of the brothers chose to speak on his behalf.
“What do you think will happen to me?” Sydney asks, taking a seat beside me on my Dad’s living room couch. “Will I go up for adoption?”
I shake my head. “Hell no, kid. You’re family and we don’t abandon our family.”
“I . . . it’s just my Dad and Mom are dead now. I don’t know how I should feel. I’m really sad.”
“Of course you’re sad. Your twelve and you’ve experienced more tragedy than anyone else should at your age,” I tell her, wrapping my arm around the kid. “You just have to remember to cherish those memories that you had with one another and let those memories push you through life.”
“Fist doesn’t look . . . okay.” Sydney isn’t wrong and the fact she’s picking up on Dad’s attitude isn’t sitting well with me. I understand he’s dealing with a world of grief right now but he needs to process this shit and put his best foot forward for the club. It’s not that I’m unempathetic, but Sydney’s next of kin reverts to my Dad.
It’s no shock Saffron had a rough relationship with her parents. They immigrated from China when she was ten and moved out to White Fish. Saffron came to Billings and fell in love with a biker named Tank, which wasn’t exactly in their plans for her. They haven’t spoken ever since, and Sydney’s only known us to be her extended family.
“Hey,” Dex walks up to us, lookin’ smack dab at Sydney. I swear this kid has a massive crush on her and I predict they’ll be together by the time one of them is twenty.
“Hi,” she greets lowly, rising to give her friend a hug.
“You two chill out down here and watch TV or some shit. I’m gonna go check on Dad.” I get off the couch and head up the stairwell, walking straight toward his room. I don’t bother knocking or giving him any sort of warning that I’m headed his way. Placing my hand on the door, I open it, revealing a pitch black room.
The light from the hallway reveals that he’s still in bed. I have to look at the old, rickety clock on his nightstand to see that I’m not going crazy and it’s really almost four in the evening. “Dad, shit. Get up!” I growl, walking in the room and shutting the door behind me. I turn the light switch on and at this point is when I see his anger come out of him.
“Shut that damn light off and get the fuck out of here,” he hisses, growling.
“No, get your ass out of bed. Do you even know what time it is?”
“No, and I don’t fuckin’ care. Leave me alone.”
“You’re being ridiculous. We all lost Uncle Cracker and Saffron, not just you. You don’t just get to stay up in your bedroom and hide from the fuckin’ world. Jesus, Dad. Sydney needs you right now. She needs all of us. Both of her parents are dead and the only people left in this world are us. We are her family and she needs us to support her. Most of all, she needs her damn step-dad.”
He glares at me with cold, emotionless eyes. “I will never be her stepdad because I’ll never get to marry her mom. We’ll never get that opportunity now.”
“Fuck you, you’re her stepdad. I understand the type of grief you’re feeling right now but you don’t get to just fall in the pit and not take on your responsibilities. You’re the Prez. Everyone looks to you in times like this and Zane has been doing his best to hold down the fort, but they don’t want to hear from Zane. They want to hear from you.”
“Let Zane speak, he’ll be getting the gavel soon anyway,” Dad hisses out, spiting me.
I walk up to the bed and grab my father by the throat. “You need to pull your fuckin’ shit together. I can’t leave you here like this and I’m sure as fuck not going to stay in Montana, not when Grizzly is god knows where and Ivy’s having a baby. I want her as far away from him as possible. Why aren’t you angry? Why don’t you want any fuckin’ revenge?”
“I am angry, you idiot. I’m so angry that the two closest people in my life are dead and it’s all my fault. I’m the reason they’re dead, the reason they’ll never come home. The guilt of their deaths weighs heavy on my mind and it’ll only continue to do so until it’s my time to be with them.”
I’m trying to understand his point of view, but this man is spilling me a load of bullshit when he’s the guy who taught me to call people out on it.
I glance over to the dresser that my mom bought when I was seven. I remember the way Dad lost his shit at the gaudy purple thing and the memory causes me to smile. “They’d want you to avenge them, not to stay in bed tucked under the covers agonizing yourself over what happened. They’d want you to fight for them now because we didn’t fight enough when it counted. They’d want all of this to end, and it hasn’t ended. It keeps going on even though we’re trying so hard to achieve that goal— to destroy them. Dad, there’s a time and a place to lounge around and wallow in our self-pity, but now is not that time. Right now, we have to act. You have to make decisions that matter and you can’t do that from your fuckin’ bed.”
“He’s in the wind, Kade. I’ve had my spies out for the last week and no one has seen anything. Sent word up to Canada and as low as Alabama, no one has spotted ‘em or heard a peep. I doubt we will. They’re too far gone for us to make any headway.”
“Since when have you ever given up?” I yank my hands from his throat, throwing them in the air from pure frustration. “Jesus, you are Fist. You’re a fuckin’ legend and you don’t ever give up on shit like this. You’re the man everyone turns to when times are rough, the one who always gives us hope. Dad, for the love of God, I just need you to get your shit together. We need to make these people pay, and I won’t be
stickin’ around waitin’ for shit to blow up. I have to protect my family.”
“Well, hopefully, you have better luck than I do,” he mutters, empty eyes staring right at me. He doesn’t look like he normally does, somehow turning into an empty fraction of himself.
At this point, I don’t even know what to do anymore. Nothing I’m saying is helping and it just seems like he wants to stay under the depressive rock that he’s so determined to hide under. I head toward the door of his bedroom and open it, go down the stairwell, and see Zane sitting at the kitchen table. “Can you and I talk for a minute?”
He nods. “Yeah, sure. What’s up?”
“I need you to do a favor for me.”
He furrows his brows. “Depends on the favor.”
“Sydney can’t stay here with Dad. He’s not acting like himself and I don’t think it’s healthy for her to stay here. Since you’re staying with Ashley and Blackjack for a while, can you take Sydney under your wing? She can stay in Noelle’s room since there’s another twin bed in there, but I need you to watch out for her . . . ‘cause I don’t know if Dad will come out of this.”
“C’mon, you can’t be serious,” Zane says, and I can tell he doesn’t want to admit that our Dad is deep in the depression pit, but I won’t sugar coat it.
“Even after Mom died, he wasn’t this bad, Zane. I just need you to watch out for her. Please. Ivy and I are still leaving in a couple of weeks and I need to know that she’s going to be okay.”
He chuckles. “It’s ironic, isn’t it? You hated that little brat who cried every day and night when she was a baby, and now you want me to watch out for her.”
“She’s grown on me. Plus, she’s not so bratty anymore.”
He crosses his arms and looks over to where she’s sitting on the couch. “Yeah, I’ll watch out for her.”
“Zane, if this shit with Dad doesn’t get better, I need you to promise me that you’ll care for her like she’s your own daughter. Can you do that?”
“Shit, someone is getting really serious on me.” He laughs, but from the look in his eye, I can tell he’s taking me seriously.
“I’m not fuckin’ around right now.”
He stares at her for a few moments and I imagine he’s in deep thought. His eyes venture back to mine as he speaks, “She’s lost too many people. I’m afraid what will happen to her if she loses Dad too, so yeah, I’ll watch over her. Tank was a good friend and Saffron was the sweetest thing on the planet. You’re right about Dad, even if I don’t want to admit it. Regardless, I’ll be here for her and I won’t leave her. Guess I’m kinda like a Dad now, huh?”
“Sort of.” I give him a half smile, breathing a little easier now that I know Sydney will be taken care of. Zane always keeps his promises, so he’ll be sure not to break this one. “I’d better get going. It’s Ivy’s birthday and I want to make sure that we go out and do something in town. She’s had a rough time of it and we need to do something to celebrate.”
“Alright, well, have a good time. We should talk about how we’re going to re-build before Thanksgiving.”
“Yep, sounds like a plan.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
“Life is what you celebrate. All of it. Even if it’s the end.”
~ Joanne Harris
Ivy
I know it’s my birthday, but boy does it feel wrong to be going into town with Kade right now. With everything that’s happened, I feel guilty for even wanting to take time to celebrate. So much pain has filled our lives over the past week, and it feels insensitive for us to go out.
“Are you alright?” Kade asks, holding my hand as we walk down Main Street.
I turn my lip up at him in discomfort. “No, not really. I don’t think we should be doing this,” I admit, hoping that he doesn’t get upset with me.
“Doing what exactly? We’re not committing a crime.” He chuckles.
I huff, “Celebrating my birthday, it just feels so wrong to be doing this right now.”
Kade rolls his eyes, takes his hand away from mine, and wraps his arm around my shoulder. “You have a big heart and it’s why I love you so damned much, but that’s ridiculous. We’re alive, babe. That means we need to cherish every moment that we have and live life to the fullest. If you think Cracker or Saffron would want us to be moping around in grief, you’re wrong.”
“Ugh, I don’t know! I just feel so messed up. What if Blossom was right and this is all my fault?” Fuck, I realize I’ve slipped up the moment it passes through my lips.
Kade stops in his tracks, looking down at me with concern. “What are you talking about?”
I never really went into details of what happened after I was up in the house. It felt petty to even bring it up, and she was nothing but a spiteful cunt. I didn’t want to waste my breath or get Kade angry. I know him very well and once he’s irritated, it’s hard to get him to calm down, even if it is something that happened in the past.
“Blossom was in your Dad’s house and said some shit she shouldn’t have.” I keep it short and simple, not wanting to elaborate any further but I know I won’t be so lucky. Kade will end up pushing me for an answer.
“Sorry, Vampy, but you don’t get to do that right now. Fess up and let me know what’s going on.”
“She said it was all my fault, that I am the sole person to blame for the Bears coming to the clubhouse. She got on me about stealing you from her and other shit too, but what she said has fucked with my head a little bit. I mean, would he have even come for the clubhouse if you and I weren’t together? Did he only do that because of our involvement? Are their deaths on my conscience?”
Kade growls out his reply, “Blossom always forgot her fuckin’ place. She was never an ol’ lady, only the type of bitch you sink your cock in when you need a little relief. I hate that she got in your head, babe, but this isn’t your fault. Deep down, I know you understand that, and if you keep taking blame that isn’t yours, you’re just allowing Blossom to have the upper hand on you, and I don’t want her to win. Pretty sure you don’t either.”
“She’s not fuckin’ winning,” I grumble out, glaring at him.
“Good, ‘cause whatever comes out of that mouth of hers is only bullshit. I don’t want you focusing or plaguing your mind with doubts or feelings that don’t have any business being there. It’s your fuckin’ birthday, babe, and we’re gonna celebrate. So, tell me, where are we stopping at first? The bakery on the corner?”
I look across the street and can already see the colorful cakes and desserts in the window. They’re vibrant, well designed, and quite frankly are calling my name. “Yes, give me all the cake!” The thought of cake causes me to walk a little quicker, wanting nothing but to get over to that bakery as soon as possible.
The second we get there, Kade is quick to open the door for me as we walk in. The bakery is absolutely adorable. I didn’t realize how many shops had done some renovations, but much like the restaurant, this is one of them.
A glass display lines the entire place in a giant L shape, and behind it are giant white subway tiles with black grout. The floor is made up of a honey oak stained wood, and the hardware to the sink and drawers are made up of a brassy color that compliments the wood floor. The seating area has plush, comfortable chairs accented with light stone table tops. I feel like I’ve walked out of Montana and to some nice place in New York City.
“What’re you thinking?” he asks, standing beside me as we peer into the display.
“Welcome to Tart. How can I help you both today?” a man comes in from what I assume is the kitchen and asks us.
“I think we’re still deciding what we want, but if you have any recommendations that would be lovely,” I say while my eyes search through the case. I see everything from eclairs and cannolis to carrot cake, and even some sort of cherry pie. My eyes have always been bigger than my stomach, so I’m careful to not pick anything quite yet. I want to make sure I’ve had the time to look over everything.
&nb
sp; “Are you Joseph?” Kade asks, and right about now I feel a bit odd like something’s up.
“Yep, that’s me. Ah, you must be Kade! Let me get your stuff ready.” Joseph is quick to disappear back behind the doors he came from before I can even ask the question.
“What did you do?” I raise my brow, staring at Kade in a way that silently demands an answer.
“Eh, nothin’ really. Just gave Joseph the heads up we were coming and had him prepare a tasting for us.”
I don’t know if Kade realizes it, but he’s just confused me in more ways than he realizes. Tastings aren’t usually something you have at a bakery unless you’re getting married. “Wait, do you mean like a wedding cake tasting?”
“I guess, I’m not sure. I just told him we wanted to taste some damn cake, and lots of it ‘cause my pregnant girlfriend has really been craving sweets.”
“Oh, okay.” My heart jumped from my chest into my throat. I swear, I thought he had something else up his sleeve that was going to give me a heart attack.
Kade takes my hand in his and leads me over to a booth on the wall, sliding in across from me. He opens his coat and pulls out a letter, handing it across the table to me. “What is this?”
“Well, I believe it’s the test results that we’ve been waiting on. It’s in Dad’s name, but the return to address is a laboratory. I intercepted it yesterday, and figured you might want to open it today.”
“As some sort of birthday gift?” I laugh, inserting my index finger at the end, I drag it along the edge until it’s completely ripped. I feel like the folded up paper inside is just begging for me to pull it out but I’m afraid. I’m scared because what if the result isn’t what everyone is expecting?
All my life, I’ve grown up thinking I’m Grizzly’s daughter but hushed whispers and judgemental eyes knew long before I did that I’m not. He found out when I was a little girl about the truth and didn’t tell me. Only a few short weeks ago did I find out about Machk, and I just can’t help but think . . . what happens if he isn’t my father? I’ve been so prepared for the results to say that he is that I’m not sure what I would do if he isn’t. I would be starting fresh I suppose.
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