Because of the severity of the case, a detective ended up coming into the room we were in. Thankfully, they were able to put the girls in another room while they spoke with me. They asked Hawk to step out but he refused, wanting to be there for me.
The detective gave me the grave news that because there’s no next of kin, the legal system would be making a decision on who would retain guardianship of the girls or if Child Protective Services would get involved. He asked me if I felt that I was in a place where I could care for two children. In all my life, I never would’ve dreamed I’d have a question like this asked of me.
I was honest with him and said I didn’t think anyone was ever in a place where they felt ready for it. The detective laughed but told me he could pull a few strings with a friend, who’s a judge. He said he felt like I was the safest place for the girls, especially given I’d gone through the same experience.
It’s evident Bridget went through the same trauma, but I’m not sure about Danica. It’s something we’ll have to discover and work through during therapy. I may have only met these girls, but I want the absolute best for them.
I didn’t even blink when I told the detective I’d gladly take care of my sisters. I didn’t care what Hawk had to say because I will put these little girls above our relationship. He knows how big my heart is and in my opinion, he knew what he signed up for when he wanted to be with me. I had to ask the detective if we could leave out of state with the girls and he said it was a question for the judge.
I’m crossing every finger I have we can start our lives where we planned without any impact on our timeline. In my mind, I’m thinking the girls need to get the hell out of here too. We all need a fresh start.
Chapter Thirty-Three
If you feel like you’re losing everything, remember that trees lose their leaves every year and they still stand tall and wait for better days to come.
~ Unknown
Raven
In the last two weeks, my life has done a complete one-eighty. I had finally accepted the fact I was moving halfway across the country to be with a man I’d been smitten over for far longer than I care to admit, only to have the train called life hit me in the face and fuck it all up. I even started to daydream about what life would be like in Vegas. What I didn’t take into account was raising my two half-sisters.
The judge in Colorado did award me guardianship of my sisters and allowed us to leave the state as long as we come back to Denver when our father’s trial starts. In Colorado, they have a no-tolerance policy when it comes to sexual violence, especially against minors. While he will get jail time, the sad thing is he will eventually be freed and could do the same to others. I, however, will make it my life’s mission to make sure he never harms another girl. Hell, I even spoke to Hawk privately about how angry I am over it all. He offered to have a guy on the inside handle it when we know which prison my father will be staying in. I declined, saying it was too easy. What I mean by easy is that it’s too kind. I want him to stay in jail for as long as he can and become someone’s bitch. Maybe then he might understand a fraction of the pain he inflicted.
As far as my sisters go, Bridget is far more vocal about her trauma than Danica is. However, Danica had let a few things slip when she wasn’t paying attention. Danica prefers to act like it never happened, pretending to be normal, whereas I think Bridget understands the severity of what they endured a bit more. Bridget is older, though, so it makes sense. At eleven and eight years old, they should never have had to go through it.
Part of me is beating myself up, wishing I had done some sort of research into my father’s whereabouts earlier. If I had, I could’ve saved these two from some of their pain. Hawk tells me I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, or think about the what-ifs, but I do have anxiety after all. It’s hardwired into my brain to think the way I do.
We arrived in Las Vegas this morning to warm and welcoming arms. I’d filled Ivy in on the hell we were going through. She made sure the rest of the club understood a little bit, but they didn’t need to know the nitty, gritty details. I don’t want anyone looking at my sisters any differently than normal kids. The only thing the club needs to know is that our father was deemed unfit to care for them and they’re in my custody now.
We’ve been going in and out, looking at the different buildings on the property. Damon told the girls he’s hoping to convince the club to put a pool in, saying it would be great to boost morale. He’s really good with kids, and while Danica loved talking to him, it wasn’t the same for Bridget. She’s far more nervous around men than her sister is.
Ivy has been trying way too hard to keep us cooped up in the clubhouse for the last couple hours, which means one thing— she’s up to no good. I’ve been giving her a few looks that show her I know she’s got something up her sleeve. She keeps playin’ it off like she hasn’t done anything but I know that’s bullshit.
The clubhouse isn’t anything you’d find in an architectural design magazine, but they have decorated it beautifully. Arriving here on Christmas Day was somewhat of a gift in itself. I can only imagine how the girls feel, putting everything behind them.
“The tree is so pretty,” Danica says, skipping over to it. She jumps up and down, staring at the beauty of all the bright lights.
Ivy gets up from her seat on the couch and goes over to her. “Yep, it sure is. They wouldn’t let me get a pink tree, but I’m thinking next year we’ll have to get one. What do you think, Danica?”
“Can we put unicorns, kittens, and rainbows on it?” She looks up to my best friend with the biggest smile I’ve seen from her to date.
“Yep, we sure can.”
Danica squeals and starts to run around the clubhouse, turning straight into Hawk, who bends down and starts up a full conversation with her. Ivy heads back over in my direction and motions for me to come with her, so I do.
I follow her out of the clubhouse and she hands me a pair of keys. She leads me up to a door and I put the key in, open it, and walk inside. What I walk into is enough to shake me at my core into an emotional wreck.
I didn’t just walk into a trailer with a few things. I walked into a home. There’s a large sectional with a matching coffee table, TV stand that already has a TV, some sort of video gaming console, and a speaker system. There’s a massive tree in the corner of the room with a boatload of wrapped presents underneath it. “The purple ones are for Bridget, and the pink are for Danica. We didn’t want to let the girls think Santa forgot about them,” Ivy says with a wink.
Taken over by emotion, I hug my best friend and fight back tears. “Thank you so much for doing this. You didn’t have to.”
“Oh, stop it. We were going to do this for you. You’ve all been through so much.” She releases me and goes into the kitchen, silently urging me to continue on.
“We?” I ask, wanting clarification.
“Yes, we. The entire club made this happen, Raven. You’re our family. We don’t let family struggle. Instead, we lend a helping hand when we can.” I walk further into the house and discover the entire kitchen is fully equipped, and there’s already a cozy dining room table here too.
I go down the hallway and see there’s a laundry area tucked in a small room, and behind that is a master bedroom with a huge walk-in closet and bathroom. Ivy shows me the other end of the house where there is a bedroom and bathroom attached to it as well. Only, it’s super personalized because it’s been painted purple and pink with beautiful geometric designs on the wall. “This is amazing,” I say, not sure where to look.
The entire room is already filled with furniture, drapes, two beds, stuffed animals, books, and so much more. “Dixon painted the room for the girls. Cobra went and grabbed all the stuffed animals, and Kade kept fighting with him saying how they needed books. The guys may not always get along, Raven, but boy did they come together for this. It was beautiful to see.”
“I’ve never been treated like this, ever. Thank you all so much.” I further gi
ve her my thanks, pulling her in for another hug.
If one thing’s for certain, it’s that the Reapers are our home.
Even more than that— we’re all going to be just fine.
Epilogue
From the first moment that we touched, your arms felt like home.
~ John Mark Green
Hawk
6 weeks later . . .
“You’re such a cliché right now,” Dixon mutters beside me as we stare into the clear display glasses in a local jewelry store.
I jab him in the stomach with my elbow. “Oh, shove it. I’m doin’ somethin’ amazing for the woman I love more than anything, and the two beautiful girls that come along with her.”
I never thought I’d ever be tying a woman down, pickin’ up an engagement ring. Especially one I had made custom for her. I didn’t want to make when I propose special for just her, but for Danica and Bridget too. In my eyes, I’m making a commitment to these two unique ladies too. I’m not only promising to love their sister for the rest of my life, protect her, and cherish her, but I’m also makin’ an oath to them. I will be their rock when they need me to, I will beat the shit out of any little twatty boyfriend they bring to my door, I’ll take them to the zoo, and do everything in between. The truth of the matter is, I don’t just love Raven. I love these two kids as well.
“What did you get the girls?” Dixon asks, finally curious about somethin’.
“I got them each a necklace with their birthstone. Figured it was easier than getting them both rings they wouldn’t be able to wear in a couple years.”
Dixon raises his brows. “Shit, you do have a heart. Damn, man. You’re goin’ soft on us.”
I want to argue with him, but I can’t. “Yeah, a little bit. A good woman will break down your walls, soften your mold, and make you hard in all the right places,” I say with a wink, gettin' a cackling laugh in response.
“Yeah, I don’t see that happenin’ for me until a few years from now.”
“You never know, brother. Raven and I met by chance. Hell, I’m thinkin’ we’re all on a love streak or some shit. Booger, Widow, Kade, and now me. I’m wonderin’ who’s up next.”
“Hmm, I’m gonna say Mouser.” Dixon chuckles.
I raise a brow, “The prospect? Why do you say that?”
“He has the googly eyes for one of Onyx’s girls, the brunette.”
“You mean he’s ogling over her,” I correct him.
“Yeah, that’s what I said.”
I shake my head, chuckling. “No, it’s not.”
“So, you decide when you’re gonna propose yet?” Dixon inquires.
Oh, I know what he’s doin’.
“Nope. You don’t get to ask me that. Not when you’re only doin’ it so you can drop hints to Raven and try to spoil the surprise. I wanna make it special for my girls, brother. This isn’t somethin’ you get to clown around with.” I press my hand to his shoulder and shove him.
“I’m not clowning around, bro!” Dixon replies, but I don’t believe him. He’s a complete jokester. Fuck, he’s worse than Kade.
“Oh, is someone a funny guy?” Indra, the jeweler, comes up and asks. She has the boxes for all the pieces I ordered open, showin’ me all the beauty on display. Each of these jewels is perfect for every single one of my girls.
“Dixon thinks he’s funny,” I mutter, lookin’ at the beautiful details on each item. I had Indra add a special clasp to the necklaces. They’re definitely not standard. Instead of the typical clasp, they’re both in the shape of the infinity symbol. I want it to represent I’ll be here for the girls for whatever they need.
I peer up from gettin' a good look at the jewelry to see Indra staring a little too long at Dixon. He doesn’t see it, but I sure as hell do, and boy . . . I didn’t know a black girl could blush until I just caught her. It seems like someone else in our club might be gettin' tied down, and I have a feelin’ it won’t be Mouser.
I hand Indra my card. “Here you go, Indra. Thank you so much for helpin’ me out with this. Hopefully, I didn’t cause you too many headaches.”
She giggles lightly. “Oh, no. Not at all. Honestly, it was my pleasure. If any of your buddies need any jewelry for the special ladies in their lives, please send them my way.”
I smile devilishly. “I will be sendin’ them your way. I know two of them who could really use sucking up to their girls right now.” Dixon might not know it, but I’ll be settin’ him up with Indra. I’m just gonna take this ride slow and steady.
Authors Note:
Dear Readers,
I appreciate each of you sticking with me through thick and thin. As some of you may know, I was severely ill last month. Mentally and physically I haven’t been myself, not until I started writing this book. In a sense, it’s caused me to find myself again. If I could reach out and hug Hawk and Raven —I would— but they’re fictional characters so I can’t.
I don’t think I’m ever the type of writer who constantly has the same voice. The first time I ever experienced that was a couple years ago when I wrote Blackjack, Reign and Tough as Steele at the same time. Since then I’ve come a long way as a writer. So much so that I finally understand how your characters change your artistic voice, writing style and overall vision.
I truly hope you all have enjoyed reading this story. As always, there might be a couple things that have been left unanswered. If you’ve been reading me for this long then you know it means I’ll touch base on it. Basically, it also guarantees I have a master plan.
Bull’s book is up next. I’m hoping to release it in late November, after Thanksgiving. However, I have to finish up Forbidden Love (Mackenzies #1) which will be exclusively released in the Leave Me Breathless: Black Rose Collection. This is the series that made me want to start writing professionally in the first place. Irish mafia to the core, angst, forbidden romance and so much more are within the pages of what I’ll finish writing next week. Thankfully, I’ve already gotten a head start on the book.
Pre-Order it here for only .99 cents: https://bit.ly/2qcePWZ
As always, thank you so much for your loyalty to me as a writer.
Much love,
Liz
Bull
Reapers MC Book 7
Acknowledgments
My Betas, Courtnay, E.C., Jai, Chas, Tania, Janet, Taneesha, Michaela, Laura, Kim, Isabelle & Lisa— Thank you guys for taking the time out of your days to read whatever madness I’m sending to y’all. Your reactions for this one have been absolutely insane, and trust me, my heart was pounding along with you in those intense moments. Love y’all!
My Cover Designer, Clarise— We rock out every single cover we work on. I’m so excited this one is out into the world after months of being locked away on my computer. Thank you for your mad skills and amazing friendship!
My Blogger Team— I say this time and time again, but I’ll never stop saying how much I appreciate y’all. Thank you for sticking with me, regardless of genre and supporting me in any way you can.
My Editor, Kim— Thank you for stepping up and taking the massive workload I require from an editor. I appreciate your hard work so much. Bull is only the start for our editing projects, but it’s going to be an amazing journey!
Golden— Thank you for your help with the cover. You helped me transform the character into Bull. He looks so badass!
A.C., Rae, E.C., and Raven— You girls keep me accountable as hell. It’s hard as hell to find good friendships in this community and I’m lucky to have found you all. No matter what I know I can count on the four of you. We make a pretty kick ass team.
For the ones who have been through Hell:
Your darkest moments do not define you. Don’t ever let them. No matter what has happened to you, remember the ugliest moments of our lives shape us into stronger, more compassionate people. You might have gone through some messed up crap, but you’re a survivor and you’re strong as hell. Smile, babe. You deserve it.
Playlist
Lola — Iggy Azalea ft. Alice Chater
Workin’ On It — Meghan Trainor
BLOODMONEY — Poppy
Push My Luck — The Chainsmokers
Cool Anymore — Julia Michaels & Jordan Davis
Big, Big Plans — Chris Lane
Living Proof — Camila Cabello
Tongue Tied — Marshmello ft. YUNGBLUD & Blackbear
Mean It — Lauv ft. LANY
Prologue
Tortured souls are the easiest to trust. They speak with their eyes and only if they must.
~ CW Poet
Alexa/Lola
September . . .
Wetness fills my mouth and for a moment I believe it’s water, swallowing it down. Until I realize water doesn’t taste metallic. Opening my eyes, I try to look around the dark room I’ve been stuck in for . . . wait, I don’t know how long I’ve been here. After a point the days start to run together. Only a small sliver of light comes in under the door where the men enter the shed, and I lost count after sixteen. Who knows how long I’ve really been in this shithole?
Aching pains run down my sides from where I’ve been kicked repeatedly. I’m sure my ivory skin has turned purple or blue from the impact of their steel toed boots. If only my sides weren’t hurting, I might be able to deal with this a little better. Unfortunately, I’m not that lucky. I’ve been many things throughout my thirty-six years, but I wouldn’t classify fortunate as one of them.
Chaos: A Reapers MC Boxset Page 30