“Alice, we made it to Joshua’s house.”
She removed Alice’s scuffed boots. The black trouser socks she wore had tiny holes in them.
“I’m taking the rest of the day off and going out to get you a few things. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
Synaria scanned the bedroom, her eyes settling on a chest-of-drawers in the corner. She took the liberty to inspect the drawers for socks. She pulled out a pair of black socks and found a pair of men’s athletic pants and an oversized Savannah State University T-shirt.
“You’ll have to help me help you, Sis. We have to get you bathed up and get those teeth brushed.”
Synaria’s one-sided commentary continued as she found a black paddle brush for Alice’s hair.
“The way I see it, everything happens for a reason. What are the odds that I’d take you home and you’d find what you found today? I think I was placed in your path to help you get through this. You’ll have to do a lot to get rid of me.”
Thankful the bedroom had a bathroom, Synaria turned on the shower. Alice prided herself on cleanliness, and Synaria knew whenever she came to, she’d be furious another woman would let her walk around rancid. That’s how she’d justify cleansing her friend.
“Do you have something I can use to transport Alice to the shower?” she called to Joshua.
He padded down the hall to the room. “Mama’s wheelchair should be in back of the closet. The shower is accessible also. I had it reconstructed last month. You can wheel her in and sit her in the shower.”
“Thanks, Joshua.”
Synaria lined up the chair next to the bed. She worked quickly to place Alice in the chair and get her in the bathroom. Alice, loosening up from her experience across town, stared at Synaria.
“What are you doing, Syn?” she asked, barely above a whisper.
“Getting you bathed up. You have vomit on your clothes and you need to brush your teeth. Now that you’re responding, I can sit outside and wait until you get yourself cleaned up.”
“Don’t leave me.”
“You need your privacy. I’ll be outside the door. I found a T-shirt and jogging pants, but I’m sure you want some feminine clothes to wear. We can go to the mall, or if you tell me what you like, I can get you something. You won’t be putting that homely dress and shoes back on, though.”
Alice shrugged. “Look down in the cabinet and get me the Lever 2000. Mama always brought the soap with her. It was the only kind she wasn’t allergic to when she bathed. I like it, too.”
Though Alice spoke, Synaria was afraid to leave her alone. She looked around the bathroom as if she’d never visited her brother’s house. She scratched at her hair, untangled the bun, and let her hair fall around her face.
“I didn’t know you had that much hair.”
“Beryl said a woman’s hair is her glory and shouldn’t be out unless it’s a special occasion.”
Synaria bit her lip. “Alice, you have a long road ahead of you, but right now, this minute, you can’t repeat anything else he said.”
“It’s second nature.”
“A new nature is on the horizon that doesn’t include him.”
“I have nowhere else to go.”
“You have your siblings and you have me. Starting over is not impossible. It’s always the first step that’s the scariest.”
She let the words soak in. Five minutes later, she said, “Let me shower, please.”
“Call me if you need me.”
Alice tugged Synaria’s arm as she walked away. “Thank you.”
Synaria nodded. “Anytime.”
Alice stood from the wheelchair and moved it aside, memories of Mattie rushing back. She looked at the wheelchair and remembered the last time they were all together was last year, the Fourth of July, on Joshua’s deck. Mattie pushed the chair away and danced the Electric Slide. She prepared her famous Italian pasta salad, red velvet cake, and shared stories with them about their childhood. That was the happiest she’d seen her mother in a long time. She felt ashamed that so much time had passed without spending time with her. She looked in the mirror and saw a country bumpkin staring back. Tired eyes, gray hairs, and small lines dancing around the corners of her mouth made her feel older than thirty-eight. Mattie swore by egg-white tighteners and oatmeal honey masks to keep the skin supple. Beryl said aging was a natural process and women who fought it were vain Jezebels. She shook away his voice and turned on the shower. She sat in the corner seat in the shower and let the water run over her. Over the years, she endured criticism from former friends who fell away as she submitted to Beryl. Their voices came back one by one.
“Ain’t no way a man would be taking my paycheck and giving me my money like I’m some damn child!”
“Husband or not, there woulda been a cast-iron skillet upside his head by now.”
“Un-unh, the spirit of Mary Woodson woulda come over me and I’da tossed a pan of hot grits on him.”
“We teach men how to treat us, and God knows you oughta love yourself better than that, Alice.”
Her tears competed with the water flow rippling overhead. She cried and longed for life as a single woman. She scrubbed harder as Davina Crenshaw’s face played over in her mind. Too many years had passed and she didn’t know how to start over.
“Something has to give. I’ll die if it doesn’t.”
13
Didn’t Look That Way To Me
“So you’re telling me that dog didn’t have the decency to go to a hotel?” Gabrielle sipped the Mimosa she’d prepared instead of the nonalcoholic drinks Joshua set out for lunch.
“Gigi, I called you over to support our sister, not berate her.”
“Josh, I’m not berating her. It’s no secret Mama and Daddy didn’t want her to marry him. He was too old and too experienced for her.”
“Gigi, be quiet!” Synaria and Josh said in unison. They glanced at each other and quickly looked away, sidestepping their mutual irritation for Gabrielle.
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here.”
“Someone needs to speak up for you since you haven’t in—” Gabrielle held up her fingers and wriggled her shoeless toes—“thirteen years.”
“If you can’t be cordial, Gigi, you need to leave. Mama’s missing and we’re all we have. It makes no sense for us to turn on each other.”
“Tell me, little Bro, when have we stuck up for each other?”
“I’m not having this discussion with you in front of Synaria. To answer your question, it’s been a long time, but today is a good day to start.”
Synaria chomped on her turkey sandwich and enjoyed the Benson antics. For once she silently thanked her parents for being an only child. After calling Gabrielle at Joshua’s request, she gaped at the beautiful but arrogant woman Alice spoke of at the library. She waltzed through the front door, barely speaking. She tossed her heavy, expensive coat to Synaria as if she were the maid. A head of healthy, bouncing curls flowed around her face; thank God a fan wasn’t blowing because it was apparent Gabrielle fancied herself a superstar. Synaria held back a chuckle at the image of Gabrielle on stage like Beyoncé with a fan blowing her hair. She didn’t help put the lunch spread on the table, she didn’t set the plates or pour the drinks, and she belittled Alice every chance she got. No wonder Alice was so lonely; she had no refuge with her husband or her family.
“Pass me the lettuce, Sakina.”
“It’s Synaria.”
“Okay, Sy-na-ri-ya,” Gabrielle elongated her name. “May I have the lettuce?”
“Sure.” Synaria passed the tray of romaine with a tight smile.
“Anyway, since I’m the oldest and have power of attorney over Mama’s affairs, I’ll decide the next move Alice should make. Judging by the clothes she wears, she can’t afford a place of her own right now. Joshua, she can stay here with you until she gets on her feet. She doesn’t need to be in an apartment. She’s so weak that she’ll let Beryl slide back in.”
“
Gigi, Alice probably wants her own space.” Joshua considered his words. “You’re welcome to stay here, Sis. I didn’t mean to imply you’re not wanted in my home.”
“I do want my own space. A bachelor needs to be alone. I want to keep my job at the library and find somewhere to stay.”
“Alice, you can stay at my home until you get on your feet. I have three bedrooms.”
“Thanks, Synaria.” Alice pinched off the cinnamon roll near her sandwich. “Gigi, may I stay at the house? I mean until I find something? It’s only fair since it is our childhood home.”
She sipped her Mimosa again. “Since we’re all here together, I wanted to let you two know I’m selling the house.”
“What?” Alice and Joshua shouted.
“What do you mean you’re selling the house? It’s in my name, Gigi. Daddy insisted his son, his only son, keep the house.”
Without missing a beat, she hissed, “And since it’s paid for, you can deed it to me and we’ll split the profits three ways. It could help with my new start.”
Synaria folded her arms, enjoying the three-ring circus.
“What new start, Gigi?” Alice asked.
“I’m getting married. Colton and I want to start fresh in our own place.”
Synaria jumped in. “Surely you don’t mean Colton Bembry? Colton Bembry who recently spearheaded the Bookathon gala with his wife, Roselle?”
“They’re divorcing soon.”
“Didn’t look that way to me.”
“Why are you involved in this conversation anyway?”
“Because—”
“Forget it! I don’t know why I came here in the first place. I should have stayed home.” She jumped from her seat.
Joshua stood. “Sit down, Gigi. This bickering is the reason Mama’s missing and Alice is here. It has to stop.”
She huffed. Sat again. “Do you realize you sounded just like Daddy? Same tone and pitch.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” said Alice. “Those weekly family meetings in the den were good as long as we weren’t in trouble. He knew how to keep us in line. I’d give anything to see both of them again. I miss them so much. The older you get, you look and act just like Daddy.”
Josh blushed at their words. “I wish I could be half the man he was.”
“With the exception of your relationship antics, you’re pretty close.” Gigi pushed back her plate and addressed Synaria with, “do you mind giving us some privacy?”
Alice gripped Synaria’s arm. “Don’t go.”
Synaria was in no mood to deal with Gigi’s venom. “I was leaving after lunch to get you a few things, remember? I looked at the tag in back of your dress. Size eight, correct?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to pick up a few clothes from the mall and swing by later.”
She took her plate and glass in the kitchen, emptied the leftovers in the trash, and headed back to the dining room. “Thanks so much for lunch, Josh.”
He rose. “Let me get your coat and walk you out.”
Gabrielle and Alice waved to her as she exited the dining room. Josh removed her coat from the hall closet and helped her put it on.
“You mind if I step outside with you?” he whispered.
“Sure.”
He closed the door and took the lead. “I meant it when I expressed my appreciation for you bringing my sister here. She’s been disconnected from us for so long I thought we’d lost her.” Synaria nodded as he spoke, waited for him to finish. “Have you ever tried getting reacquainted with someone?”
“I can’t say that I have.”
“It’s going to be a long road for us.”
Synaria felt the same. “I figured as much. She’s like a shaking leaf at work, always looking over her shoulder or jumping at the slightest mention of her name. Beryl says nasty things to her when he drops her off, but she always denied there were problems.”
Josh clenched his fists. “I want to drive over there right now and handle him.”
“Don’t. That would make you like him. Maybe this is what Alice needed to start over again. To see him with another woman.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Josh never paid attention to Synaria at the library, but now, he saw her with new eyes. When she removed her coat earlier, he didn’t want to gawk, but her voluptuous frame caught his attention. She was well-put together, wearing a gorgeous mauve cashmere sweater and stylish black work pants. Her black booties placed her just beneath his chin. Deep-set, brown eyes enthralled him; they danced with concern as she spoke about Alice. She placed her winter bucket hat over a perfectly highlighted short bob that accentuated her light-brown skin and moon face. Her moist, full lips were moving, but he had to snap out of the trance she’d put him in to hear her. “What was that, Synaria?”
“I said I don’t want to buy anything too gaudy for Alice. She’s been wearing those croaker sack dresses so long she probably wouldn’t be open to anything I purchase.”
Joshua pulled his wallet from his back pocket and peeled off $200. “Take this.”
“I can’t. This is my gift to Alice.”
“This is my gift to you for revamping her wardrobe. Mama hated the way she dressed and always talked about it at Grand Oak when I visited. Think of this as your stylist fee.”
She moistened her lips and slipped the money in her coat pocket. “I’ll be back later. I hope I didn’t disturb your family lunch.”
“You eased the tension. I’m glad you were here.”
Synaria’s heartbeat quickened. “See you, Josh.”
She walked quickly to her car, erasing the distance between them and ignoring her dry mouth and rising temperature.
14
In Absentia
The siblings sat in Detective Jimmerson’s cramped office. They passed the death certificate amongst themselves, weighing the finality of its words.
“Can’t we give it some more time?” Joshua asked.
“It’s been two months. The state was gracious in allowing so much time to lapse before issuing the death certificate. When a person is missing or presumed dead, a death certificate can be issued within days. We received a few leads about your mother, but nothing concrete came from the tips. Even the sighting of your mom in South Carolina led to a dead end.”
“So she’s gone. No trace, no body,” Alice said, cradling her arms as she rocked. “I’m sure if we wait one more month, she’ll turn up.”
“I can’t take another month. I’ve lost my appetite and I can’t sleep worrying about Mama,” said Gigi, placing the death certificate on the detective’s desk.
“That’s a shock,” Joshua muttered under his breath.
“What did you say?”
Alice stopped the impending argument. “Listen, Mama wanted us to attend Emma Jelks’s service and we didn’t. She wanted us to come to the Christmas pageant and we didn’t. The least we can do is have a small memorial service for her. It would be fitting to have it at El Bethel since she attended the church with Ms. Emma.”
“Graveside only. I don’t want to hear any solos, reflections, or people telling us we have their sympathy,” said Gigi.
“You know Mama wouldn’t approve of a graveside service. Think about the folks at Grand Oak and the community. Since she left, we’ve had an outpouring of support from friends and strangers. I’m sure my coworkers and Alice’s friends from the library would like to pay their respect.”
Gigi agreed, but without emotion. “Fine. Tell me the time and I’ll be there.”
“We’re planning this together, Gigi.”
“I can’t.”
“Do it for Mama, Gigi,” said Alice.
She closed her eyes to process Alice’s request. After a half-hearted shrug, she mumbled, “Sure.”
“I’m sorry this didn’t turn out better for your family. Your mother seemed like a wonderful person,” said Detective Jimmerson.
“She was, Sir. She truly was a phenomenal mother,” said Joshua.
• • •
A week later, Gabrielle, Alice, and Joshua sat on El Bethel’s front pew with neighbors and friends. Synaria sat next to Alice and offered Kleenex; Karen sat next to Joshua. After a little wrangling, Agatha convinced Gigi to let Zoe sing two solos. Riveted, the crowd remained seated but swayed to her soulful inflections. A soprano, her song rose to the rafters of the stately building.
“Ms. Mattie loved that song,” Karen whispered to Josh as Zoe sang, “Goin’ Up Yonder.”
“She did, Karen.”
“She pretended she couldn’t sing, but she had a beautiful voice.”
Joshua stared at Karen, then redirected his attention to the pastor. He’d never heard his mother sing. From the moment her service was announced in the paper, people shared stories about their mother’s generosity that left them speechless. After the benediction, mourners congregated upstairs and in the annex. Earlier, Joshua looked at the tables filled with food, secretly willing them to remain intact. He feared they’d buckle under the weight of so many delicacies.
“We’re receiving visitors upstairs since there’s no interment,” Joshua said to Alice. She’d been distant throughout the service and he worried about his baby sister. He placed his arms around her. “Join us.”
“You two stay up here. There are people downstairs, too,” she said.
“We’ll be down, soon.”
She nodded and headed downstairs. Suffocating under the guilt of her mother’s death, she wanted to disappear. She waved to familiar faces from Grand Oak and the library, plastering a smile on hers. Tables and chairs were neatly placed throughout the room as people ate and chatted. She knew she should mingle amongst them, but she couldn’t. She kept walking, seeking a chair to rest her weary feet.
“That’s the baby girl right there,” Agatha said, as she walked past. “The other daughter and son are upstairs.”
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