by E. C. Land
Mackenzie
God my body hurts, so much. It’s never been this bad after having suffered through one of Justin’s beatings.
“Shh, you’re okay.” A soft, soothing yet unfamiliar voice coos.
Opening my eyes, I blink against the brightness due to the light filling the room.
“Hang on, honey, let me dim the lights for you.” Tilting my head toward the woman’s voice, I take in the two women. Both of them are stunning. One with strawberry blond hair that she has put up in a messy bun, leggings, and a racerback tank top. The other woman is wearing her light brown hair braided down her back with a pair of skintight jeans and a t-shirt with the name ‘Sinner’s Cove’ written across the front.
“Where am I?” I ask with a frown, confused as to why I’m in a room with women I don’t know.
“You’re at the Devil’s Riot MC clubhouse,” the one closest to me states.
What!
Why the hell would I be here?
Then it happens, everything comes back to me and I remember.
Lex.
Walking into his chest. Him scooping me into his arms.
Oh no.
Justin.
He . . . he . . . he took what he’s always done to the extreme, everything tenfold to the normal.
Closing my eyes, I squeeze them tight as I try to shake the memories away.
“Shh, Mackenzie. You’re okay, honey. You’re safe and no one here will hurt you. I’m Jordan and this is Doctor Connors. We’re all friends with Lex,” the one standing closest to me says.
“Umm, hi,” I murmur glancing around the room. “Where’s Lex?” My heart begins to race when I don’t see him.
“He’s out in the main room with the guys,” Jordan states as the other woman she’d called Doctor Connors moves closer.
“Would you like me to go get him?” Doctor Connors asks.
Do I?
I’ve been in love with the man since forever and now he knows just how tainted I am. He probably thinks I’m as disgusting as I feel. I wouldn’t hold it against him. And if I could go back in time to the day I made the deal that kept Lex alive, I would have done the same as I have. Because in the end, it meant Lex was still alive.
“Mackenzie?” Connors calls my name. I open my eyes to find her, she slowly takes a seat on the bed next to me and grabs my hand. “I’m going to tell you something and I want you to listen closely. Okay?”
Nodding my head, I meet her gaze briefly then close them again.
“As a doctor I want you to know whatever you want to say stays in this room. Neither of us will go against your wishes. Now as a woman, one who has been through hell and the same as you are right now, I understand if you don’t want to see anyone. However, I need you to hear me when I say this, you are not and never will be less of a person,” Doctor Connors states.
“You are also not covered in filth. Speaking from experience, I know what you’re feeling right now, what you’ve probably been feeling for a long time.” I stiffen at Jordan’s statement. Opening my eyes, I find her standing directly next to me. Strangely, I’m not panicking with these two women caging me into the bed by sitting on either side of me.
“No, don’t get upset, Mackenzie. I want you to understand something,” she says not missing a beat as she takes my other hand. “I’ve been where you are right now. I’ve seen the scars and know what it’s like to bear the same emotions. I have my own scars that cover my back. The ones I used to think were shameful to bear. Granted I still have some moments of this feeling, I have a wonderful man in my life who shows me exactly how much more I’m worth than what those scars mean. It’s nothing to feel shame for. You are a victim of something tragic, but guess what? You don’t have to think of yourself that way.”
“How do I do that?” I ask before I can stop myself.
“First, don’t shut everyone out. Second, tell yourself that you’re worth being fought for. That you are not weak. Third, when it becomes too much to bear on your shoulders, let someone else help you. And I’m thinking that person you lean on is in the other room, ready to come in here and see you for himself,” Doctor Connors murmurs.
“But he’ll see I’m tainted,” I whisper, tears stinging my eyes as I lift my gaze to meet hers.
“I know you feel that way, sweetheart, but you didn’t see what Jordan and I saw. I’m thinking that man loves you and is hurting at the thought of you in pain of any form,” Doctor Connors says, squeezing my hand.
“I highly doubt he loves me. I’m his sister’s best friend and only just turned eighteen today,” I blurt.
At this I earn a smile from both women. But it’s the voice that comes from the doorway that causes my heart to stop. “Don’t think you know what I think or don’t think when it comes to you, Mackenzie,” Lex growls.
“Well, he lasted longer than I thought he would,” Jordan mutters.
“Yeah, seems these men can never listen,” Doctor Connors grumbles as she looks over her shoulder at Lex then turns her attention back to me. “Jordan and I are going to give you two some privacy for a bit. I’ll be back in to check on you shortly. Don’t get out of bed unless you have help. Those wounds will take a while to heal and for right now movement is going to hurt.”
“If she needs to get up, I’ll help her. Thanks, Connors. I really appreciate this. Let me know what I owe you,” Lex states, stepping further into the room.
“Lex, you know better,” Doctor Connors snaps as she stands to face Lex. “You and the guys are a part of this club. Means you’re family and I do not charge family for anything. And if you try to argue, I’ll call Bethany, tell her to not make them cookies you are always hounding her to make. Don’t think she and Alexis don’t tell me about the four of you with your antics.”
Bethany?
Alexis?
Who are they?
Does Lex have a girlfriend that I didn’t know about?
Of course, Lex would have a girlfriend. I mean look at him, he’s gorgeous with his dark hair, he seems to always be wearing it up in a man bun. Thanks to his dad and, unfortunately, his uncle being Hawaiian, he has the same features with tattoos that are peeking out from under the sleeve of his shirt.
I remember my mom telling Anabelle and me about the day her mom and dad met. Evidently, it was swoon worthy since she’d taken one look at him, seen him smile and that was it, she was done for. It was supposedly the same for Justin’s wife. They’d been married for a couple years, had a daughter then she split taking Finley with her. No one knew why but I’m guessing it has to do with Justin being a major asshole.
At that thought my heart feels the strike against it as I realize just how far in my head I’ve been. I have been dealing with Justin and how he controls my every movement. If he finds out that I’m at the Devil’s Riot MC or that Lex is with me, I’m dead right alongside Lex and Anabelle. He’s made it perfectly clear I’m not to be around Lex. That’s why whenever he came to the house to visit, I made myself as scarce as I’m able to.
I inwardly shake my head as the closing of the door brings me back to the now and I focus on Lex. I’m unable to stop myself from licking my lips nervously as I take in the fact Lex’s eyes are narrowed and it looks like there’s a tick in his jaw as if he were gritting his teeth.
Oh boy.
I know that look, Anabelle gets the same one when she’s pissed. Doesn’t happen much with her, but when it does you better watch out because she’s about to do damage. Knowing Lex is pissed I wonder if I need to take cover from flying objects like his sister.
Chapter Five
Lex
I swear Mackenzie as much as I love the woman, she’s a pain in my ass. Between her and my sister they’ve always found ways to make me want to throttle the two of them. Hearing her say that I didn’t love her is one of those moments and I’m fuckin’ pissed.
One because since I was a teenager, I knew when she became of age, I’d make my move. Does that mean I’ve been some choir boy? Hell no.
But every woman I sunk my dick in was just to hold me over until I could have the one woman I truly wanted.
The one who has held my heart since she was a little girl and asked me to make her a giant sandcastle one day when we had been at the beach on vacation. It was the last vacation we’d had as a family, but I remember it as if it were yesterday. Anabelle was in the waves splashing with a snorkel in her mouth and goggles in place. Mackenzie was scared of the waves, so our dads made a pool in the sand for her. She had looked at me from inside that pool and asked me to help her make that castle. What could I say? I ended up spending most of the afternoon in that pool with her, laughing as she made her demands for her castle to be the biggest one ever and have seashells for windows.
Now she’s eighteen and both of our lives are far from what they should have been. However, there’s one thing that has always stayed the same and will for the rest of my life. Mackenzie holds my heart in her hands as her light filters through the darkness in my soul. She might not see it that way due to everything she has endured, for God knows how long, but it’s how I see her. How I will always see her.
“Why were you at Justin’s?” The question slips out of my mouth before I can stop it and I instantly regret it when Mackenzie flinches.
“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” she murmurs as she averts her gaze.
“Don’t try that bullshit with me, Kenzie. Tell me what’s going on,” I growl as I move to sit next to her on the bed. Lifting a hand, I grip her chin and guide her into looking at me once again. “I’m going to find out one way or the other, Starlight, but the easiest way is you telling me. Or do I need to confront Justin?”
“No,” she screams, her eyes going wide at my question.
“Then tell me, what the fuck is going on, baby,” I grind out.
“I have no choice,” she says tears welling in her eyes.
“You have no choice?” This causes me to frown even more.
“It’s either I do as Justin says, or he kills you.”
“Come again?” I mutter, my stomach tightens and I’m not sure I want to hear any more, but I have no fuckin’ choice, I need to know what the fuck is going on.
“Justin threatened your life if I didn’t do what he says.”
“When did this start?”
“My sixteenth birthday.”
Fuck.
I should have known.
“Mackenzie, baby, now this is the hard part. What did he do to you?” I ask, cautiously.
“I can’t, Lex. I can’t say it out loud,” she murmurs, tears pour down her cheeks.
“Alright, I won’t make you say it out loud, but I’ve gotta ask. When I do just nod your head yes or shake it no.” I wait for her to nod her head in response, so I know she understands. When she does, she closes her eyes.
“Did he rape you?” At this she nods.
“Hit you?” Another nod.
“Share you with his men?” A shake of her head.
Thank fuck.
“What about making you run errands for him?” Yet, again, another shake.
Good.
“Now, baby, look at me when I ask this one.” I command and wait for her to open her eyes. With a deep breath, she slowly opens her eyes and meets my own. “Did Justin use your body against you to keep him from killing just me or Anabelle as well?”
“B–both of you. But as long as I did as he said he never mentioned Anabelle. Always you,” she whispers.
Nodding, I release her chin I’d still been holding and palm her cheek in my hand. “Thank you, Starlight. As of now, I’m making sure that he doesn’t get you ever again. You said earlier you doubted I loved you. Well, baby, you couldn’t be further from the truth. I’d been waiting for you to turn eighteen. Shit, your dad knew I was waiting. Now that you are, you’re mine Mackenzie. However, due to this hiccup I’ll give you time to heal, but you’ll be doing it at my home where I can keep you safe.”
Mackenzie’s eyes grow wide with each word that comes out of my mouth.
“Y–You love me?”
“Babe,” I grin for the first time since entering the room. “Haven’t I always told you I have whenever I come by the house for dinner?” Well, I used to until she started avoiding dinners when I was at the house. Now I know why.
“I thought it was as, you know, your sister’s best friend or something like that,” she mutters.
“Kenzie, I could never see you as a sister to me,” I chuckle.
Nodding Mackenzie gives me a slight smile before it vanishes from her face and she looks at me with a sadness within her eyes.
“You can’t love me, Lex, and I can’t be yours,” she murmurs.
“Why the hell not?” I demand.
“Well, because of your girlfriend.”
Leaning back, I furrow my brows at her. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Then who were the women Doctor Connors mentioned?” she asks.
“Bethany is Chaz’s woman and Alexis is Tanner’s,” I state.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, so you want to give me an actual reason, besides, some crazy notion that I’d be in a relationship with someone,” I press.
“Because I’m tainted, covered in filth, and nowhere near the girl you knew. Plus, Justin would never allow it. He’ll kill us both, along with Anabelle.”
“Don’t you worry about Justin, baby. I’ll handle him. As for you being the same girl. I don’t want the girl. I want the woman you are becoming. And as for being tainted or covered in filth. I’m just as tainted by the past and demons surrounding me. Maybe I’ll tell you later when you’re ready to hear it. But covered in filth Kenzie, no fuckin’ way. I can still see your light shining through, showing me the way,” I state firmly letting her know I’m dead serious in what I see in her.
I’m not about to let her go deep into her head with thoughts so dark, I’ll never get her out. I’ve seen how the guys from the club are with their own women. Some of them had gone through far worse, like Ally. If anyone can help her through any fucked-up thoughts it would probably be her; albeit I want to be the one who helps her through it all.
Mackenzie opens her mouth to speak but immediately shuts it when the door to the room flies open. Her gaze widens at the three people who rush into the room.
“Sweetheart, what on earth? Are you okay?” Lisa cries as she rounds to the other side of the bed and sits next to her daughter.
Anabelle though she hugs me and pushes me away from Mackenzie, sitting where I’d been sitting. “You scared me to death, chickadee,” she states.
“Baby girl, I’m gonna leave you to your momma and bestie. Lex and I are gonna step out to give you all privacy,” Nick says, from the foot of the bed.
“You don’t have to Daddy,” she whispers.
“Yeah, I do, Kenzie,” he mutters through clenched teeth. He must see the vulnerability shining through her that I do.
Stepping around my sister, I palm Mackenzie’s face once more and stroke her cheek. “I’ll be back, baby. Remember I’m not going to let anything else happen to you ever again and I meant every word I said to you, okay?”
Nodding her head once again, “Okay, Lex.”
“Good, now talk to your mom and my sister, but don’t get out of the bed without help. Connors wants you to rest.”
“Don’t worry, Lex, we’ll make sure she doesn’t move,” Lisa says softly as she tries to regain control of her emotions.
Fuck, I hate seeing women cry, especially the ones closest to me.
Chapter Six
Mackenzie
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” my mom asks again once the door closes behind my dad and Lex.
Turning my attention to her, I try to give her a smile. “Yeah, I’ll be okay, Mom.” As much as I want to strangle Lex for calling them, I can’t be upset. Not at seeing the way my mom’s torn up about seeing me like this.
Granted, she can’t really see anything. Not really, the marks are on my back and you can’t s
ee the bruises marring my inner thighs.
“That’s good, sweetheart. Now what on earth is going on? Your dad didn’t tell me anything other than you were hurt and here at Lex’s friend’s clubhouse.” And there you go. My mom doesn’t know anything about what’s happened to me. However, from the look my dad had in his eyes he knew.
“Umm.” Tears well in my eyes and I know I need to tell her the truth, but I don’t want to put her through the heartache. Same goes for Anabelle.
“Do you want me to leave the room?” Anabelle asks.
I shake my head immediately. “No, umm, what I say affects not just me but everyone, including Daddy and Lex.”
I look between the two of them and see them both frowning.
“What do you mean?” my mom asks.
“I . . . umm, I-I don’t know how to put this without it upsetting anyone. Honestly, I don’t think I can say it right now,” I murmur.
“Well I won’t push you, sweetheart, but when you’re ready, I’d like to know what’s going on. I’d noticed you acting different, especially more recently, but I didn’t want to push.” That’s my mom for you. Never the one to push too hard.
“Does my brother know what’s going on?” Anabelle asks, quietly. Turning my full focus to her, I nod my head as she frowns even more. “Are you going to tell me why he knows, and I don’t?” I shake my head. I don’t want to tell her this because it will only hurt her more.
“I can’t. At least not right now,” I whisper, tears filling my eyes. Shame starts to seep in deep within me as the tears turn into full blown sobs.
“It’s okay, Kenzie. Don’t cry. You know I’ll end up crying and then we’ll both be a blubbering mess,” Anabelle murmurs as she moves to stretch out next to me and wrap her arm around my front.
Sucking in a breath, I try to regain control of my emotions. Anabelle’s right about one thing. If she starts crying, neither of us will be able to stop and then my best friend’s makeup will be all over her face.