by S. L. Scott
“Why do you even want it? Knowing what dating me drags you back into, why do you want to lower yourself when you’re so much better off without me?”
“Lower myself?” He shakes his head. “Is that what you think? That I’m better than you?”
“You are. You proved it.”
“Bullshit. Just like the bullshit reasons you gave me that day. I should have never believed you.” The words are bitter as he spews them. “I fell for your lies, but I was too dumb to see the truth.” When his tone softens, I dare look into his eyes again. “I see it now. I know what you did and I know you did it for me.”
He’s right. As much as I want to continue lying, I don’t want to lie to him. Not anymore. But what could I do to protect someone that I loved more than life itself? How could I make him save himself? “I couldn’t leave my mom behind.”
“You said that, yes, but I know there’s more to it. Your mom would have been rejoicing that you got out of that shithole, away from the gangs that were trying to take over.”
My wine has become the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen. Avoidance is a good tactic. I think . . . except when you’re the only two in the conversation. It gets very hard to distract him to another topic. His gaze is fixed. He’s definitely not letting me out of this. “What do you want me to say?”
“Admit the truth.”
“Remember when I said I will tell you anything and everything, just not tonight? Can we do that? Please?”
“Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I’m right. Just promise to tell me the truth.”
“Were you always this pushy?” I ask, nudging his knee with mine.
“Yes.”
“It’s all coming back to me now. Romance me. We will share all of our inner demons tomorrow. Just smile for me tonight.”
A smile pops onto his face. It’s fake and I laugh because he’s wonderful to try for me, even if jokingly. I finish my wine and the waiter is quick with a refill. Looking around, I remark, “This place is very nice. Thank you for bringing me here.”
“Remember how you used to make us sandwiches and we’d picnic in the back of the truck?”
“You gave me that guitar and we played together, making music under the stars.”
“Do you still play?”
The question makes me sad. Maybe one day it won’t, but knowing how hard he worked to buy me that guitar, I feel bad. “I haven’t played in a long time.”
“Just busy?”
I made a promise not to lie, but if I tell him Reggie took it, it will ruin what we have now. Does this lie matter in the scheme of things? His feelings are more important. I want him happy. “Something like that.”
“You should play and sing. You were always way more talented than me.”
I laugh. “Funny.”
“Not funny at all. The truth. If you had a guitar right now, could you still play?”
“Is that a challenge?”
“Maybe.”
“I can still play.” I take a gulp of the deep red liquid. “Probably.”
“Maybe we can play together sometime.”
“Maybe.”
Our food arrives. After three bites, I don’t talk at all. This steak is the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. I catch Derrick watching me a few times, but I don’t even care how I look to him. I devour it and the side dishes. If I could lick the dishes, I would. When my dress feels tighter around the middle, I sit back and exhale. “Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.”
He chuckles. “So I feed you a good meal and now I get whatever I want in return?”
“Yep,” I reply confidently.
“I’m gonna take you up on that offer, Ms. Grenier.”
Rubbing my stomach, I bite my lip, then say, “I hope so.” My phone chirps with a text and I pull it from my purse. It’s Rochelle: Boys are having a blast. Hope you two are.
“Rochelle’s pretty great, right?”
Derrick nods. “She’s been to hell and back, but she’s come out the other side stronger, not by choice, but by determination. For her boys.”
I text her: Thanks for the update. Can Ace call me for a quick good night?
My phone rings within seconds. I slip out of the booth and answer it, keeping my voice down, “Hey buddy, is that you?”
“Hi, Mommy. We had pizza and strawberries.”
“Together?” I ask, walking toward the restrooms. I stay outside the door to take my call.
“Ew. No. The strawberries were dinner. Then we got pizza for dessert.”
Laughing, I love it. Hearing him makes me miss him. “Are you having fun?”
“It’s like whoa, the best time. Ms. Rochelle said we can watch Moana if we aren’t tired.”
“Are you tired?”
“No. Where are you?”
“I’m at dinner. Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he replies and then yawns. “I’m good. I’m having fun.”
“You still want to stay?”
“Yes. We get waffles in the morning.”
“Sounds yummy. I should go, but I love you, buddy. Sweet dreams.”
“Sweet dreams. Love you.”
Rochelle takes the phone, then says, “Hi, he’s doing great. How are you?”
“Great. Stuffed but great.”
“Good. Tell Derrick I’ll kick his ass if he steps out of line.”
I laugh. “What if I want him to?”
Now she’s laughing. “Well that’s something different entirely. I won’t keep you. Call or text me if you need anything.”
“Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome. Now go have some fun and don’t worry about Ace. He’s a great kid and in good hands. Good night.”
“Good night.”
I find myself leaning against the wall smiling to myself when I get company. Derrick in all his darkness sure is a sight to behold when he comes around the corner. “Everything okay with Ace?”
“Yes,” I say going up to him. “He’s having the time of his life.”
“That’s good.”
Fisting the front of his shirt, I turn us around until his back is against the wall and I’m firmly against him. “So am I.”
“That’s even better.” Lifting my chin, he bends down and kisses me. “Do you want dessert?”
“Hell yes, I want dessert.”
* * *
“Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have ordered dessert,” I moan, leaning my head back against the leather seat and closing my eyes in the SUV.
“Don’t fall asleep on me.”
“I make no promises. This food coma is intense.”
“Ten minutes and we’ll be back, but I was hoping to take you somewhere. Can you stay awake long enough for a quick stop?”
“How can I say no to you? I can’t.”
Five minutes later we’re dropped off on a side street. Derrick takes my hand and we hurry around the corner. “The Bellagio Fountains,” I say as if he didn’t know.
“Come on. It’s about to start.” We hurry over to a spot in the corner and he maneuvers me in front of him because of the crowds. His arms cage me in resting his hands on the railing. With my back to his front, I feel safer than I’ve felt in years. I love how much bigger he is than me. I love the way our bodies fit no matter which way we’re put together. A loud boom signals the start of the show reminding me of times that weren’t so safe . . .
“Get down,” Derrick yells at me.
I’m leveled to the ground, my cheek against the sparse grass in the park. Kids are still in school, but we decided to skip. I thought we’d be making out at one of our houses, but the second Reggie found out we were leaving after lunch, he was waiting for us at Derrick’s truck. “Looking good, Jamie. If you and Derrick don’t work out—”
“Fuck you,” I say, flipping him off.
Derrick is laughing, but I’m not. It’s been a few days since I’ve been alone with my boyfriend and I’m starting to think Reggie’s invading our party of two on purpose.
> Reggie gets in the cab, but I stand outside waiting for him to get back out. “What are you doing?” I ask him.
“Let’s go. We’re meeting the guys at the park.”
“No, Derrick and I are hanging out.”
Derrick pounds the roof of the cab. “Get in before we’re busted skipping out.”
“Not until he moves.” No way am I sitting with Reggie in the middle.
“C’mon, baby. I’ll drop his ass off and it will just be us.”
“No.”
“Jaymes,” he says, his tone firmer.
I’m about to because I want the time alone with him. I also want to have sex with him. But then Reggie says, “Get control of your woman, Derrick. She’s making you look like an asshole.”
I slam the door closed and start back to school, but I’m quickly caught. “Hey, ignore him and come on.”
“Ignore him? He’s a fucker.”
“I’ll happily ignore him, but will you?”
“You’re gonna get us busted. Can we finish this conversation elsewhere?”
Looking back at the school, I’m surprised we haven’t been busted yet. “Fine, but we’re dropping him off first.”
When I go back to the truck, he still refuses to move, so I get in and keep to myself by putting my headphones on. If I was smart, instead of listening to EDM, I would have been listening to what Reggie was saying, the plan that was going down.
We get to the park and I move to let Reggie get out, but then he leans back in to talk to Derrick. Derrick’s jaw is tense, ticking on the side, something he only does when he’s stressed or angry. I’m guessing angry by the way he’s staring at Reggie. The engine is cut and I whip off my headphones. “What are you doing?”
“Five minutes. That’s all.”
“You’re kidding me?”
“Look—”
“You’ve got to handle her fucking mouth. The guys are talking about how pussy-whipped you are.”
I know what he’s doing. He’s trying to turn Derrick against me. I can argue with him, but in the heat of the moment, Derrick needs to decide if he’s choosing to listen to that asshole or if he’s going to treat me with respect.
Derrick says, “Shut the fuck up, Reggie, or I’ll shut you up. Don’t talk about her like that. Ever.”
My pride in the stand he took shines and I smile. So what if I’m grinning in gratification, he deserved to be put in his place. But then Derrick says, “I still have some business to handle. I’ll be right back, babe.”
He and Reggie walk across the park before I can convince him otherwise. “Screw them.” I head in the direction of my house. It’s only four blocks from here.
Rapid-fire shots sound out and I’m tackled to the ground before the loud boom sends woodchips flying around us. “Stay down,” is whispered in my ear. “You’re okay, baby.”
. . . I will never forget the weight of his body on mine from that afternoon. “You’re okay, baby.”
“What?” The water bursts into the air as Celine Dion is piped through hidden speakers.
“You froze, your body tensed, your eyes seem to be focused somewhere far away. Not here.”
“Yeah,” I reply. “Just a bad memory popped up.”
Derrick’s arms are around me, his body molded to me from behind. “It’s okay. We can go.”
“I’m sorry. I had a flashback to that time in the park around the corner from our houses.”
“God, Jaymes, what have I done?”
“Don’t. You’re not to blame any more than I am.” I take his hand and pull him out of the crowd. They are so mesmerized by the fountains and show that no one notices the star amongst them. We rush around the corner and find our car waiting for us. As soon as we’re safe inside, I say, “He’s ruined so much. Let’s not let him ruin tonight.”
“What do you want, Jaymes?” And then I kiss him. He’s responsive and embraces me. Our hands are frenzied and bodies anxious with anticipation.
Stopping to look him in the eyes, I reply, “You, only you.”
27
Derrick
The door flies open and I can’t pull myself away from her long enough to care that it’s slamming open and just took out a section of the sheetrock. I kick it closed and keep kissing her. My shirt didn’t stay buttoned once we made it into the elevator. My belt was unhooked and lost somewhere between the suite and the elevator. The fly of my jeans is hanging open and I have her dress unzipped before we reach the bedroom.
Shoes are off and the dress drops to the floor on the way to the bed. My jeans and boxer shorts are discarded while her bra joins the party on the floor. “Holy fuck, you’re so damn sexy.”
“Come here. I’m cold.”
I reach into my suitcase, grab a condom from my toiletry bag, and toss it on the bed next to her. “I’ll warm you up.” I crawl up and nudge her knees apart so I can rest my body on top of her.
Her arms come around my neck and she’s smiling. “I was hoping you’d say that.” Her smile is so damn easy. Seeing it makes my heart hurt. I want her to always feel this safe, this comfortable, this happy. I want her life to be this easy. I don’t care what I have to do, I’ll do it. For her, I’d do anything.
Stealing one kiss and then another, I lower more of my weight on her. Brushing my fingers through her hair, we stop kissing. She looks shy, a little rejected, so I say, “I just want to look at you a minute.”
That really brings about a natural blush that I wish I could keep there always. I’ll settle for the memory. She’s nervous under my gaze, not liking the attention. Sliding her hand down my middle, I catch it and bring it up to my lips for a kiss. Then I hold it, keeping her still. “What are you looking at?” she asks, whispering.
“All that matters.”
The smile slips away and something else, something heavier with a thump moves in. Her heart beats against mine and without going any further I already know she’s mine. Just like I’m hers.
Instead of words, we kiss, our devotion shared through touch and feel. I angle my body to the side. Moving our joined hands lower, I position mine on top of hers between our hips. “How do you like it? How do you get off, baby? Show me.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“It’s just us. We used to know everything about each other. You’ve done this for me before. Do it again. Just for me.”
Her fingers lower and while looking me in the eyes, she says, “Touch yourself and let me watch.”
I don’t normally jerk off when I have a beautiful woman beneath me, but her request is only fair. Wrapping my hand around my dick, I look down between her legs and watch as her fingers manipulate her body. “Are you wet for me?”
“So much.”
Turning my hand down, I drag my fingers between her pussy lips—slowly until her breath catches. Then leave her to finish and spread her wetness over my cock as I slide my hand up and down. “I’m so fucking hard for you.”
“Kiss me.”
Leaning over, I kiss her how I want to fuck her—deep, possessive, passionate. “You know how incredibly hot it is watching you get off for me?” A soft moan echoes from her into me. Knowing she’s close, I reach down and take her hand in mine, pulling it up to my mouth. I bite her bottom lip and pull back until it releases. Holding her hand to my lips, I lick the tips while keeping my eyes on hers that have opened. Her body moves beneath me, her breath coming out jagged and wanton.
Fuck. Condom. I’ve got one on in seconds and the tip of my cock is against her entrance. It would be so easy to fuck her, but the torture is too sweet to rush it. One inch enters and her lips part. Pulling two of her fingers from my mouth, I whisper, “I’ll go slow every time if that’s what you like.”
“I don’t want slow. I just want you.”
Her legs bend around me and I run my hand on the outside of her thigh and lift under her knee. Sliding in, her body conforms to me, embracing me in her welcoming heat. The tightness causes my eyelids to dip close momentarily, the s
ensation of her overwhelming. “I’m not gonna last.”
“You don’t have to last, babe. I just want you to feel so good.”
“I do. So good. You feel too good, baby. Too good.” My body moves against hers and we find a rhythm, moving until our pleasure ignites into a flame. Thrusting faster, I pursue that dark bliss that escapes me. It’s not about fucking to get off with her. It’s about that bond that builds, the connection being reinforced. I want it all with her. I have it all with her. Only her.
“Fuck.” My hips move on their own, my mind lost to the sensation. When she cries my name, I let go and get dragged under with her. I drop when my body is exhausted and sated. Turning my head, my nose is behind her ear, her hair tickling. The scent of her skin a mixture of sex and the last lingering notes of her perfume. She’s intoxicating.
Pushing forward, I place three kisses on her neck while ridding myself of the condom in a tissue from the nightstand. Arms come around me, and I close my eyes, teetering on sleep. I rest exactly where I landed.
Whispers and the smell of heaven urge me awake. I open my eyes slowly, the dim light from the lamp still too bright. Squinting, I see a sight to behold. With my cheek against her chest, I only see naked Jaymes. Perfection. “I wish I could wake up like this every day.”
Her soft laughter rattles my head. I lift and roll off her. Running my hands through my hair, I close my eyes and then scrub over my face. “What time is it?”
“Late. Sorry to wake you. You are really heavy.”
My eyes pop open and I sit up on my elbow. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”
“No, you didn’t, but it was getting hard to breathe.”
She lifts up and kisses my forehead. “And I need to use the restroom.”
Watching her sweet little ass as she pads to the bathroom, I fall back and ask, “How long was I out?”
“Not that long. Like an hour or so.”
“Really?”
I hear her laughing from the other room. “Yeah, you just fell asleep right where you finished.”
“Did you?”
“What?”
“Finish?”