by Gerri Hill
“Oh, dear God,” she murmured again.
She sat down, her back against the wall as she reached out to flush the toilet. “I can’t be pregnant. I just can’t be.”
Can I?
She panicked. Should she call her mother? God, no. What about Suzanne? Definitely no.
She leaned her head against the wall. Should she call Jordan? She closed her eyes. No.
“Do the sensible thing, Annie. You pee on a stick and pray it’s not positive.”
She got up on shaky legs and stumbled back into her bedroom. Both of her parents were already at work, thankfully. And Jordan didn’t expect her in until noon. She’d drive to Aransas Pass. No way could she buy a pregnancy test here in Rockport. Her mother would know about it before she even had a chance to pee on the damn thing.
* * *
Jordan glanced into the office, expecting to find Annie in there. It was after twelve and she was never late. She went to the fridge and took out the two sandwiches. As had been the norm for the last two weeks, on the days when Annie came in at noon, Jordan had Subway for their lunch.
Maybe it was because Annie was closer in age to her than anyone else, but she felt completely at ease around her. The others…not so much. Jessica was scared of her, she knew. And Staci, while friendly, never had much to say. Brandon was talkative and actually kind of playful, but still, he was all of twenty-three. The two new high school students they’d hired only worked weekends for now. They still had another week of school before they’d start coming in during the week.
She took the sandwiches into the office. The chair was pushed back so she knew Annie had been there. Today they were going to tackle the summer inventory. It should have been done a week ago.
She went back outside, frowning. Where the hell was Annie? She was about to go back into the office to wait for her when she heard a thud coming from the bathroom. She walked closer to the door, listening. Silence. She glanced down, seeing a light on inside. It had to be Annie. Well, she’d give her some privacy. She turned to walk away. That was, until she heard another thud against the door. It sounded almost as if someone—Annie—was slowly banging their head against the door.
She raised her hand to knock, then paused. Then she knocked anyway.
“Annie? You okay?” She thought she heard crying and reached for the doorknob. It was locked. “Annie?”
She heard the lock turn and quickly opened the door. She was shocked to find Annie crying.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
Annie met her eyes. “Oh, God…it’s blue.”
Jordan frowned. “Blue? What?”
Annie held up a plastic stick as tears streamed down her face. “It’s…it’s freaking blue.”
Jordan didn’t understand and took the stick from her. She looked at it, then back at Annie. “Pregnancy test?”
Annie nodded.
“And blue…is not good, I take it?”
Annie shook her head. “It’s so not good. I’m pregnant.” She met Jordan’s gaze. “Jesus God, I’m pregnant,” she sobbed.
Jordan didn’t know what to do, so she opened her arms and Annie fell into them, sinking against her, her sobs coming harder now. Jordan folded her up, holding her tight.
“It’ll be okay,” she murmured.
“No. No, it won’t,” Annie mumbled against her chest. “It won’t be okay.”
Chapter Nine
Annie dreaded this conversation more than she’d dreaded anything else in her life. Even telling her parents she was going to divorce Derrick paled in comparison to this. At least it was only her mother. Her father wouldn’t be home for at least another hour.
Her mother was in the kitchen starting dinner and Annie stood at the door, contemplating running back to her room and doing this another day. But another day wouldn’t alleviate the stress that had settled upon her. As Jordan had said, just tell them and get it over with. It wasn’t like she was a teenager, for God’s sake.
“Mom?”
Her mother turned from the sink where she’d been washing the potatoes. “Annie, good. You can help me with dinner. The broccoli and cauliflower need to be washed,” she said, pointing to the vegetables beside the sink. “I’ll peel these.”
Annie took a deep breath. “Actually, I need to talk to you,” she said.
Her mother looked up. “Can you talk and wash at the same time? Your father will be home soon.”
Annie swallowed, staring at the cauliflower. “I’m sure I could,” she said. “But I don’t really want to.”
Her mother stopped in midstream, staring at her. “What is wrong with you?”
“Yeah…well…I’m kinda…kinda pregnant,” she said, pulling her eyes away from her mother.
Silence greeted that statement for a good thirty seconds. Then her mother dropped the potato into the sink.
“You’re…what?”
Annie looked up. “I’m pretty sure you heard me.”
Her mother’s hand flew to her chest. “Pregnant? Is it Derrick?”
“Derrick?” she asked, feeling her face scrunch into a frown. “God, no. Why would it be Derrick?”
“You’re pregnant? And it’s not Derrick?”
“Mom, no, it’s not Derrick.” She narrowed her eyes and she shook her head. “In case you’ve forgotten, we divorced about four years ago.”
Her mother raised both hands into the air. “So…who’s the father then, if not Derrick? I can’t wait to hear this.”
Annie clenched her jaw. “It doesn’t really matter who the father is,” she said. “I just thought you—”
“Of course it matters,” her mother spat. “Or will you have an abortion?” Her mother nodded. “Yes. Yes, I think that’s the best choice, Annie. An abortion. Don’t you?”
Annie stared at her in disbelief. “Mom, for the last umpteen elections you’ve voted for candidates who were pro-life and against abortions. How can you possibly suggest that I have one?”
“It’s different,” she said. “This is different.”
Annie shook her head. “Different? How?”
“Annie…you’re living at home with your parents,” she said. “You have no husband, you have no job. What are you going to do when you have this baby? Do you expect me to raise it?”
Annie squared her shoulders. “By no means,” she said. “And I do have a job. And after my student teaching next spring, I’ll have a job at the school.”
“Do you really think they’ll still hire you? An unwed mother? Is that a good example to set for these children?” Her mother grabbed her arms. “You’re pregnant, Annie. Derrick is here. He’s single. This is a perfect opportunity for you. Why don’t you—”
Annie pulled away from her. “Mom, really, you’ve got to get over Derrick. I’m not going back to him.”
“Then who? Who will you go to?” Her mother threw up her arms. “I can’t believe this. You do know how this happens, don’t you?”
“Are you trying to be funny?”
Her mother stared at her. “I wasn’t even aware that you were dating anyone.”
“I’m not.”
“Then what?” But her mother shook her head. “No. I don’t want to know.” She touched her forehead and closed her eyes. “This is so depressing. And your father will have a coronary, I’m sure.”
“I’m sure he won’t,” she said. She grabbed the bridge of her nose and squeezed. “I’ve got to…go by the store,” she lied. “I’m sure we’ll talk about this later.”
“Well, I’m sure we will,” her mother said. “You can’t drop this bombshell and think it’s over and done with. I mean, whatever in the world will the neighbors think? What about the people at church? How can I explain this?”
Annie sighed. “Tell them I’m a heathen,” she said as she went back to her room.
Common sense told her to stay put. It would be dark in an hour. But the prospect of having dinner with her parents after her mother had filled her father in on…well, on her condition
…wasn’t appealing in the least. And her stomach warned her that she probably shouldn’t eat anyway.
Her lone safe haven was Fat Larry’s, but she knew the store would be closing soon. She could always drive out to the bay. Jordan wouldn’t turn her away.
With that thought, she grabbed her keys and slammed her bedroom door. Her mother was again hovering over the sink, washing the broccoli and cauliflower that she had not.
“I’m heading out,” she said.
“Dinner will be ready in—”
“Don’t wait for me,” Annie said quickly.
She realized how mad her mother was when she didn’t protest that statement. She hurried to her car, wanting to get out of there before her father got home. She sped away, heading toward Fulton. She’d take the road along the bay, hoping to relax. She lowered all four windows in the car, breathing deeply of the salty air as it blew in. The road was busy and several cars were pulled off to the side, the occupants holding up binoculars as they scanned for birds in the waning twilight. As the road twisted around the bay, she turned, crossing over the highway and heading to the north to Copano Bay where Matt’s beach house was. Well, Jordan’s house now, she supposed.
She’d been out there only a couple of times. Matt had made it a point to have an office party each summer. They’d close early on a Sunday and he’d have them all out. The margarita machine was the hit of the party…that and the Jet Skis. And the buffet. Everything that his parents’ restaurant served, he’d have for them. Fun times.
Yes, Matt had been fun. Was that why she’d slept with him? Because he was fun? No, of course not. She wasn’t like that. She didn’t sleep around. Which was really the problem, wasn’t it? Couldn’t she be like other women? Go out with a guy, sleep with him, have fun…no commitments. Like the guy she’d met in one of her classes…Jason. She’d gone out with him a few times, but when she’d made it clear that she wasn’t interested in sex with him, he’d moved on to someone else.
He was cute. He simply didn’t…didn’t stir anything in her. She blew out her breath. It wasn’t like Matt stirred anything either. But it had been a stormy April night and the prospect of going home to her parents was simply too disheartening at the time. She wanted to do something. She wanted to be a twenty-nine-year-old single woman. Not a twenty-nine-year-old divorced woman living at home with her parents.
“So let’s have sex with Matt Sims,” she murmured. And why the hell didn’t she insist he use a condom?
Because getting pregnant never once entered her mind.
She turned onto Bayside, trying to remember which side street to take. When she saw Pelican Drive, she turned there. It was almost full dark now and her headlights splashed across the oak trees that lined the street on both sides. She saw the entrance to the driveway and smiled at the sign. Pelican’s Landing. Fat Larry—well, a mini version of Fat Larry—was perched importantly on top of the marker.
She drove on, the winding lane ending at the carport. But it wasn’t Jordan’s rental car that was parked there. Instead, it was a newer model SUV. Maybe Jordan had company. She should have called first. She was about to do that when she saw Jordan step out on the porch and wave at her.
“I should have called,” Annie apologized.
“No problem. Come on in,” Jordan offered.
Annie pointed at the SUV. “Yours?”
“I’m leasing it,” Jordan said. “A lot cheaper than the rental car.”
Annie stood under the porch light and Jordan studied her. Annie finally nodded.
“Yes. I told my mother.”
Jordan drew her inside and closed the door. “And? Was it as bad as you expected?”
“Yes. She hates me.” She followed Jordan out to the deck where a bottle of wine and a lone wineglass sat on the table. There was no evidence of dinner.
“I’m sure she doesn’t,” Jordan said as she sat down. “I used to think my mother hated me too.”
Annie frowned. “Why?”
Jordan shrugged. “Because I’m gay. I thought she would hate me for sure. I convinced myself that her tears were because she hated me.”
Annie’s mouth dropped open as she sank into a chair. “You’re gay?”
“What? You didn’t know?”
Annie shook her head. “No. Matt never said anything and…well, it never occurred to me, I guess.” Annie leaned forward. “You don’t…look gay.”
Jordan laughed. “What does gay look like?”
“I don’t know. Short hair, masculine, men’s clothes.”
Jordan laughed again. “That’s a really old stereotype,” she said. “Besides, my hair is fairly short.”
“It’s not short. It’s the same length as mine.”
Jordan’s eyes widened in mock surprise. “Oh my God! Are you gay too?”
Annie laughed. “I wish. Then I wouldn’t be pregnant. Of course, I know my mother would hate me for sure in that case.”
Jordan poured wine into the glass, then looked at Annie. “I’d offer you some, but, pregnant and all.”
Annie sighed. “I know.”
“So what happened with your mother? She doesn’t like the thought of being a grandmother?”
“Oh, she would love it. If only a husband came with it,” she said. “And, you know, I’m still in college, I live with them, my sole source of income is Fat Larry.” Annie met her eyes. “She wants me to have an abortion.”
Jordan gasped. “No. You’re not, are you?”
Annie shook her head. “No. I couldn’t. But I’m going to have to find a place to live. Some cheap apartment or something. I can’t go through this with her. Not for nine months. She’ll drive me crazy. She’s already suggested I get back with Derrick.”
“Get back with him? Because you’re pregnant?”
“I told you, she loves him.”
“Maybe she should marry him.”
Annie laughed. “Perhaps I’ll suggest that to her the next time she brings it up.”
Jordan leaned back in her chair, stretching her bare legs out and resting them on one of the empty chairs at the table. It was the most casual Annie had seen her. Even though she’d mostly stopped wearing business suits to the store, she’d yet to show up in shorts. Slacks and the occasional pair of jeans, but never shorts. Jordan had nice legs. She wondered why she kept them covered.
“What?”
Annie looked up. “What?”
“You were staring.”
“Oh. I was looking at your legs.” She then blushed as she realized how that sounded. “I mean—”
“Should I be worried?” Jordan teased.
“Why don’t you wear shorts to the store?”
“Because these are the only pair I have. I packed in a hurry. I only brought a few suits with me and some dress clothes,” she said. “I’d considered having some of my things shipped down here, but I think it would be as easy to buy new stuff. I don’t exactly have beachwear in my closet.”
“You always wear suits to work?”
“Yes. Always.”
“I don’t think I could stand that,” she said.
Jordan shrugged. “I’m used to it now.” She twirled the wine in her glass. “Have you had dinner?”
“No. My mother…well, I told her not to wait on me.” She looked questioningly at Jordan. “Have you?”
“No. I don’t really have anything here. I need to go shopping. Clothes and groceries,” she said. “I can’t keep eating at my parents’ restaurant. I’ll gain thirty pounds before the summer is over.”
“We could order a pizza,” Annie suggested. She wondered how that would set with her stomach. So far, her nausea only appeared in the mornings.
“Sounds good to me,” Jordan said. “Any preference?”
“I like everything.”
Jordan pulled out her phone. “Who delivers?”
“I’ll call. There’s a local place in Fulton that’s pretty good,” Annie said. “Unless you’d prefer one of the chains.”
Jordan looked at her skeptically. “I’m from Chicago. It’s sacrilege to get pizza from a chain.”
Forty minutes later, the wine had been replaced with water bottles and they didn’t bother with plates as they both ate directly from the box.
“This is really good,” Jordan said. “Not classic deep dish, but good.”
“Glad you like it,” she said. Gino’s was her very favorite place to eat so she was pleased that Jordan seemed to enjoy the pizza.
Their conversation drifted to less personal things besides her pregnancy and she enjoyed the stories Jordan told about spending lazy summer days out here at Pelican’s Landing.
“How did it get its name?”
“My grandmother. My grandfather was obsessed with fishing. So before they even built the house, they built a pier out into the bay so he could fish. It was one of the first piers out here at that time. She said on any given day, there’d be twenty or thirty pelicans on it.”
“Matt never mentioned them. Are they still alive?”
“No. He died suddenly, back when I was first starting college. And my grandmother died about six years ago.”
“You said you’d been away six years,” Annie reminded her. “Was that the last time you came?”
Jordan nodded. “Yeah. I came for her funeral.”
Annie met her eyes. “And then you came back for Matt’s.”
“Yeah. Like I said, the years just kinda got away from me.”
“Do you miss Chicago? The big city?”
“Not really. And since I haven’t heard from my office, I guess they don’t miss me.”
The large pizza they’d ordered only had two remaining pieces left. Maybe it was simply the thought that she was pregnant but Annie had to talk herself out of reaching for one of them. She couldn’t possibly still be hungry.
“Why don’t you take this with you?” Jordan offered. “Lunch tomorrow.”
“You don’t mind?”
“No. You’ll be on your own anyway.”
“Where will you be?”
“I think I’m going to Corpus. Need to do some clothes shopping.”
“And the grocery store,” Annie added as a reminder. “The house seems really different. What have you done?”