by Gerri Hill
“Jordan? You around?” she called.
She put the perishables in the fridge, then peeked out onto the deck. It too was empty. She heard a splash in the water and looked past the railing of the deck, down to the pier. Jordan was out in the water. She took the stairs on the side of the deck, heading toward the bay. She stopped abruptly when she saw Jordan.
She was up to her waist in the water, wearing a bikini top, and it was the first time Annie had seen her this exposed. She looked stunning. Annie found herself staring. She shook it off, finally settling on her face. It was then she noticed the change.
“Oh, my God! You got a haircut,” she exclaimed.
Jordan looked up and smiled before running a wet hand through her now shorter hair. “Yeah. Thought I’d butch out a little for you,” she teased.
“It looks great,” Annie said.
Jordan came out of the water, and Annie’s gaze dropped to her waist, where she expected to see a bikini bottom to accompany the top. She was somewhat disappointed that wasn’t the case. She blinked that thought away as water droplets ran down Jordan’s flat stomach and onto the water shorts she had on.
“So what are you doing?” she asked.
“Seeing how bad the pier really is,” Jordan said. “I thought maybe a few boards here and there could be replaced, but I think we’ll have to redo the whole thing. Some of the pylons are rotted.”
“Can you get to the Jet Skis?” she asked hopefully, remembering Jordan’s offer of a ride.
“Yeah. I can walk in the bay if I have to. Maybe we’ll take them out on Sunday.”
Annie looked at her questioningly. “You going to close the store early?”
“No.”
Annie frowned. “Wait a minute.” She glanced at her watch. “What are you doing home anyway? Who’s at the store?”
Jordan smiled. “I’m trusting Brandon to close.”
“By himself? You only trained him yesterday,” she reminded her.
“Yeah.” Jordan shrugged. “He did fine. And it’s not that hard. I told him if he doesn’t screw anything up today, I’ll up his hourly wage,” Jordan said. “So, how was the doctor’s visit?”
Annie sighed. “I’ve been poked and prodded, peed in a cup, gave blood and answered more questionnaires than I can possibly remember. But I like her, I guess. She’s young.”
“Good. How often do you have to see her?”
“Every four weeks for now,” she said. “The next appointment won’t be nearly this long, they tell me.”
Jordan eyed her. “So? Are you excited yet?”
Annie smiled. “Excited? A little. Scared? A lot.” She held up her hand. “Let’s save baby talk for later. I thought I’d cook dinner,” she said, remembering the reason she’d been looking for Jordan in the first place.
“Oh, yeah? Well, that was one of your alternate payment methods, wasn’t it?” Jordan teased.
“Yes. My mother will be happy to hear that,” she said with a quick smile. “I picked up some pork chops. I know how you like to grill.”
Jordan walked beside her up the deck and playfully bumped her shoulder. “So you were going to cook, huh?”
“I’m making a very secret recipe. It involves potatoes and cheese and sour cream and it’s way too fattening, but I’m having a craving. So yes, I’m cooking that. You are doing the chops. Deal?”
“I accept. Let me grab a shower first.”
Annie nodded, her gaze following Jordan until she rounded the corner and went into her bedroom.
“What in the world is wrong with you?” she murmured to herself with a shake of her head. Her doctor did warn her of hormonal changes. She made no mention that she might suddenly start ogling her female boss’s body.
* * *
Jordan got out of the shower and toweled her wet hair. She glanced in the mirror as she ran her hand through the shorter strands. The cut was a spur-of-the-moment decision, and she still couldn’t quite believe she’d done it. One minute, she’s standing outside the liquor store with her two bags of wine and the next, she’s seated in a chair at Quick Clips asking for a “summer cut.”
To be sure, it wasn’t drastically short, just different. She’d always been a bit conservative in her dress, her appearance—nothing to call attention to herself. She wore the barest amount of makeup, minimal jewelry, gray or black business suits. Conservative.
Now here she was, wearing shorts and T-shirts to work, no makeup, no jewelry. And a cute new haircut that was more casual than conservative, more sporty than conventional.
She smiled at her reflection, noting the change in her. She was more relaxed, more in tune with her surroundings, more focused on her life, rather than her job. She felt like her life had slowed to a snail’s pace compared to the constant movement that she had been in. There was nothing slow-paced about Chicago, and her job had reflected that as well. Everyone was in a hurry, yet everybody seemed to be behind schedule in whatever they did. Her included. There never seemed to be a time where she could simply stop and breathe.
Here? It was so very different. Despite the tragic reason she was here, despite the fact that her parents weren’t quite back to normal yet—would they ever be?—she was embracing her time in Rockport. She felt…free. She felt like the constraints she’d had on her, constraints she’d mostly placed on herself, were now gone. Did she dare say she was almost a different person?
So much so that she trusted a twenty-three-year-old guy to close up Fat Larry’s after only one day of training. The control she insisted on having in her job, in her life, had disappeared, it seemed.
A byproduct of Matt’s death? Perhaps. Or maybe it was just being away from her real life, her real responsibilities, the constant stress she lived with. Maybe removing herself from that, even if only for a little while, had changed her.
Regardless, she wanted to embrace it. Because it felt good.
So with a smile on her face, she dressed in soft cotton athletic shorts and slipped her feet into flip-flops—a cheap pair she’d snagged at the local Walmart. Feeling relaxed and casual, she decided to skip her bra and slipped a navy-colored Fat Larry T-shirt over her head.
She found Annie in the kitchen, cutting up potatoes. She was surprised—and pleased—that a bottle of wine was opened and a glass poured.
“Thanks,” she said as she picked it up.
Annie glanced up at her and smiled, her gaze traveling slowly over her. Jordan felt a bit self-conscious without a bra. Her breasts were small, and though she doubted Annie would even know, she just barely resisted the urge to cross her arms over her chest.
“You’re welcome.” Her gaze returned to her face. “I love your hair like that. It’s cute.”
Jordan smiled and relaxed. “Thank you.”
“Who did it?”
“Over at Quick Clips,” she said. “I think her name was Laura.”
Annie nodded as she went back to cutting the potatoes. “That’s where I go too. Jasmine cuts mine.”
Jordan shrugged. “It wasn’t exactly planned. I made a run to the liquor store for wine.”
Annie laughed. “It’s right next door. What? Was it calling your name?”
“Something like that, yeah.” Jordan walked closer, looking over her shoulder. “Need some help?”
“I’m about done. I just have to mix it all together. It has to bake for forty-five minutes.”
“Okay. Then we’ve got lots of time before the chops need to go on.”
“Take your wine out to the deck. I’ll be there in a minute,” Annie said. “Oh, and I bought me a bottle of sparkling apple cider, so you don’t have to drink alone.”
“I’ll get it for you,” she offered, finding it in the fridge.
She added a few ice cubes to a wineglass and filled it with the cider, then took both of them out to the deck. She turned the ceiling fan on and Annie joined her a few minutes later. She brought the wine bottle with her and she topped off Jordan’s glass.
“It’s so nice
out here,” Annie said, sitting down next to her near the railing. “Hard to believe it’s mid-June already.”
“There’s always a breeze, it seems.”
“I’ve noticed that you don’t like to be inside much,” Annie said. “Were you always like that?”
Jordan stared out over the bay. It hadn’t really occurred to her, but yes, she’d spent very little time inside since she’d been back.
“I think it’s because I was in the city so long,” she said. “I live in a high-rise condo, I work in a high-rise office building. I’m surrounded by steel and concrete, it seems.” She turned her gaze to Annie. “I was thinking earlier how free I feel here, how relaxed I am. Everything has slowed down to a pace I can actually live with.”
Annie nodded. “I can’t imagine living in a big city. Not anymore, anyway. When I was in high school, I used to fantasize about living in New York or Los Angeles,” she said. “Even when I was married and…well, hating it, I used to think about running away to a city somewhere.”
“But now?”
“I’m content,” Annie said. “I love the slow pace. What I used to think was so boring, now is…well, it’s familiar. It’s home.”
Jordan nodded but didn’t comment. She felt Annie watching her and she turned, meeting her gaze.
“Why did you leave and not come back?”
“That’s easy,” Jordan said. “Because I was gay and I was terrified of my family finding out. I massed together a bunch of scholarships and headed to California for college. Berkley. I had a great time,” she said with a smile. But that smile left her face. “Until my parents and Matt came over for a surprise visit.”
“Oh, no.”
Jordan smiled again. “Oh, yeah. Let’s just say they were a lot more surprised than I was.”
“So they found out, huh?”
“Yeah. And my mother’s tears convinced me that they hated me. So I withdrew from them even more. Got a job in Chicago. Worked my ass off, seventy hours a week. Made a lot of money, moved up in the company…” She shrugged but said no more.
“And?”
“And nothing. That’s it.”
“But your family…Matt…”
“Oh, I learned that they really did love me,” she said. “But I was entrenched in my job there, my…my life. I didn’t make it back here very often.”
Annie stared at her. “You feel guilty?” she asked gently.
Jordan nodded. “Yes. It’s been years since I’ve been here, years since I saw Matt. I missed out on so much. I hadn’t even talked to him on the phone in months,” she said. She turned, looking back over the shimmering water of the bay, the approaching sunset casting an orange glow. “I miss him.”
Jordan was surprised when she felt a soft hand touch her forearm. She turned, feeling Annie’s fingers slide along her arm, ending with their fingers entwined. It felt…nice. Jordan met her gaze, those blue-green eyes shadowed.
“What is it?” she nearly whispered.
Annie visibly swallowed. “I…I have to tell you something.”
Jordan nodded. “Okay.”
“Matt,” Annie said quietly. “Matt…is the father.”
Their eyes were locked together, Jordan shocked by her words. Her brother was the father of Annie’s baby? That, she had never considered.
“I’m sorry,” Annie said. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“But…you said you and Matt…that you weren’t—”
“I know. And we weren’t,” Annie said. She squeezed Jordan’s fingers, then released them. “I’m…I’m not even sure how it happened.” She rolled her eyes. “Well, obviously, I know how it happened, but the circumstances…God, it’s just all so crazy,” she said.
“You weren’t dating?”
Annie shook her head. “No. And don’t get me wrong, Matt was a super nice guy. I’d known him all through school,” she said. “And he flirted with me, like he always did. I just wasn’t attracted to him.”
Jordan frowned. “Then why?”
“Why?” Annie looked away, her turn to stare out over the bay. “It was a rainy, stormy night and I was lonely. I thought I had…issues,” she said. “And I didn’t want to have issues.”
“Issues?”
Annie glanced back at her but shook her head. “Nothing. I just…I hadn’t been with anyone since I divorced Derrick. I had no interest, really. I went out with a few guys, but…there was nothing there. And Matt…he flirted with me, teased me.” She drank the last of her cider. “That night, I thought…what the hell? We closed the store together. It was just the two of us.” She covered her face with her hands. “I should have stopped it. Matt was only a friend.” She uncovered her face and looked at Jordan. “When I didn’t feel anything, I should have stopped it.”
“But you slept with him anyway.”
Annie nodded. “On the sofa in his office.”
“Eww,” Jordan said. “The same sofa?”
“Yes.”
Jordan shook her head. “The first thing I’m doing is getting rid of that sofa.”
Annie smiled. “Thank you. I’d like it if you did.”
Jordan leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “So? You slept together. Then what?”
Annie let out her breath. “It was…it was awful. I started crying and he started apologizing, and it was very, very awkward.” She again reached out and took Jordan’s hand. “We left the store, and he said he was going to Port Aransas. It was storming. He shouldn’t have been out.”
Jordan squeezed her fingers. “Oh, my God. That was the night he died.”
“Yes. And I kept thinking, did he go to Port A because of me? Because of what happened? I mean—”
“You can’t blame yourself, Annie. That’s crazy.”
“Is it?” Annie wiped a tear from her cheek. “What if I hadn’t freaked out? What if I hadn’t slept with him in the first place? Would he still be alive?”
“Stop it. There’s no blame here, Annie.”
Jordan refilled her wineglass with a shaking hand. Annie was pregnant with Matt’s baby. Wow. She didn’t see that coming.
“I should have told you earlier,” Annie said.
Jordan glanced back at her. “It’s okay.”
“Is it?”
Jordan gave her a smile. “Yeah. It’s…okay.”
Annie looked away from her. “Your parents are going to hate me.”
Jordan laughed. “Quite the opposite, I’d think.”
Annie turned to her again. “Really?”
“They’ll love that a part of Matt is still with us. They’ll love that, Annie.”
Jordan was surprised that her words brought tears to Annie’s eyes. She would have hoped they would have brought relief instead. She stood quickly, drawing Annie to her feet. She pulled her into a tight hug, feeling Annie’s arms slip around her waist as she clung to her.
“It’ll all be okay,” she said as she lightly rubbed Annie’s back.
“I’m so sorry,” Annie murmured against her chest.
“It’s okay.”
Annie pulled back a little, meeting her eyes. “Will you be with me when I tell your parents?”
Jordan nodded. “Of course.”
Chapter Sixteen
Annie mindlessly folded another T-shirt and placed it in the proper bin. It was a chore she no longer had to do since having been promoted to office manager, but she found she missed it. The monotony of it allowed her mind to wander aimlessly, and this morning she was focused on her upcoming meeting with Jordan’s parents. She still had three more days. Jordan had invited them over for dinner on Sunday. Annie had told her she would be too nervous to cook anything so Jordan was going the simple route—steak and baked potatoes.
“Do you want me to finish that?”
Annie looked up to find Molly watching her. The T-shirt she’d been folding was still clutched in her hand. Apparently, she couldn’t let her mind wander and still work after all.
“Yes, thanks,
” Annie said, handing her the shirt. “I should get started on the inventory before Jordan gets here.”
Molly had the shirt folded before Annie could even turn away. Molly was a good hire. She was sharp as a tack and willing to do anything. After only three weeks, she was already running circles around Jessica. She was also the complete opposite of Jessica. Matt hired based on looks. Everyone knew that. Jordan, however, was more interested in brains. The two high school students she’d hired—Molly and Steven—were both in the top part of their class. Molly lacked Jessica’s long blond hair and good looks, but she was a quick learner and needed no supervision. And Steven, while looking every bit the nerd that he was, had already helped Jordan set up a new inventory system that could link directly to QuickBooks and their accounts.
And to think both of them had only been there three weeks. She glanced over to where Jessica was. She was bobbing her head to the music as she restocked the coffee mugs. Annie could tell from here that she already had them out of order. Oh well. Molly would straighten them out later.
It was still ten minutes until the store opened, so she went to the back for another cup of coffee. Decaf. While her doctor had recommended that she limit her caffeine intake to one cup of coffee per day, Annie was a three- or four-cup-a-day drinker. She’d adhered to the one-cup rule on Monday and thought she’d made it through with flying colors. Apparently, Jordan thought otherwise. Tuesday morning, Jordan had brought out a Keurig and an assortment of decaf pods for her to choose from.
“What are you trying to say?” she’d asked Jordan.
“That you were a little cranky yesterday.”
“I was not.”
“You nearly made Jessica cry. And you snapped at me over the color choice for the new Fat Larry T-shirts.”
Well, yeah, there was that, she conceded. So on Tuesday, she had four cups of decaf. And a splitting headache. So yesterday, she’d had one cup of real coffee, then finished up with decaf. No headache.
“So I’m an addict,” she murmured as the coffee dripped into her cup.
“Who are you talking to?”
Annie turned, finding Jordan leaning against the office door. “What are you doing here? I thought you were coming in at noon.”