by Gerri Hill
Annie glanced at her and smiled. “We’re learning how to breast-feed.”
Jordan stopped. “Ah…maybe I should, you know, come back later.”
Annie laughed. “Come over here. You made it through the birth, I think you can make it through this.”
Jordan smiled. “He’s so damn cute,” she said as she walked closer. “I can’t believe how much hair he has.”
“Look at him latching on already,” the nurse said. “You won’t have a problem with him nursing.”
“That’s so beautiful,” Jordan whispered. She met Annie’s gaze. “You’re both so beautiful.”
Annie reached a hand out and tugged her closer. She glanced over at the nurse. “Thank you.”
The nurse smiled and left them alone. Jordan squeezed her hand tight. “I love you, Annie.”
“I love you. And we have a family now.”
“Yes, we do.” Jordan leaned closer and kissed her. “How do you feel?”
“Tired. But happy. I imagine your parents are anxious to come in, huh?”
“Whenever you’re ready. Do they need to take him to the nursery?”
“After we breast-feed, they’ll take him for a bath and an examination. I’ll move to the maternity ward then.”
“You want me to tell Mom to wait?”
“Oh, no. She can come in and see him before they take him.” Annie smiled. “We can’t keep saying ‘him,’ you know.”
“Have you decided on a name?”
“I liked the one you picked,” Annie said.
Jordan smiled. “I picked a new favorite every week. Which one?”
“Jacob Matthew Thomas Sims.”
Jordan grinned. “Jake. I picked that name last week.”
“Yes. I love it. Do you think your mother will?”
Jordan nodded. “Yes. She’ll be thrilled.”
Annie’s gaze was locked on the baby. “Your mother said that both you and Matt were born with hair like this,” she said. She brushed her fingers gently through it. “I love that he’s so much like you.”
“Annie…I’m sorry that your mother is not here.”
Annie looked at her quickly, then turned her gaze back to Jacob. “I know. I thought that she…well, I thought that she might come by. Maybe she’ll wait until we get back to Rockport.”
“Honey, give her time. She’ll come around.”
“You keep saying that. But so far—”
“How can she not? Look at him? He’s so beautiful. She’ll fall in love with him.”
“I hope so.” Annie drew her down for a kiss. “Why don’t you go get your parents? I think I’m ready.” She pulled a sleeping Jacob from her breast. “I think he’s ready.”
* * *
Annie woke slowly, rolling her head to the side. When she opened her eyes, Jordan was there, watching her.
“Where’s Jacob?”
“Sleeping,” Jordan said quietly, motioning to the crib beside her. “He’s adorable.”
Annie smiled. “You’re adorable.” She sat up. “How long did I sleep?”
“A couple of hours.”
“He’ll be ready to eat soon.”
“Yes. Are we supposed to wake him to eat?”
“If he doesn’t wake on his own, yes,” she said, trying to remember everything she’d learned. “For the first couple of weeks, he should feed every two to three hours.”
Jordan took her hand. “How do you feel?”
“Better.” She raised an eyebrow. “Have you eaten?”
Jordan shook her head. “No. I didn’t want to leave you. Are you hungry?”
“Not really. But you should go get something. I’ll be fine.”
Jordan stood up, then leaned down and kissed her. “I love you. I’ll be right back.”
Annie smiled as she watched Jordan leave, then her gaze drifted over to a sleeping Jacob. He was wrapped up tight in his blanket, his dark hair covered with a cap. She reached out and pulled the crib closer to her bed. She would let him sleep another half hour before she woke him. She leaned back on her pillows, still smiling as she stared at him. He really was beautiful. She’d told everyone she didn’t have a preference—boy or girl—but secretly, she’d hoped it would be a boy. She also knew Loraine wished for a boy. Not that Jacob could ever take Matt’s place, but he would at least be a tiny replica of his father.
She turned to the door when she heard a light knocking on it.
“Come in,” she called. She was surprised to see her mother open the door.
Her smile faltered a little as her mother came into the room. She wasn’t sure what to say to her. Their relationship had deteriorated even further, and Annie hadn’t seen or talked to her in over a month. Christmas had come and gone without so much as a greeting. Even with all of that, she still expected—hoped—that her mother would show up for the birth.
“Are you okay?”
Annie nodded. “I’m fine.”
Her mother’s gaze slid to Jacob. “A boy?”
“Yes.”
Her mother came closer. “What did you name him?”
“Jacob Matthew,” she said.
“He looks beautiful.”
“Yes. I’ll wake him soon. He needs to eat.” She smiled. “My breasts are huge. They’re going to show me how to use a breast pump.”
Her mother finally looked at her, meeting her eyes. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
Annie shrugged. “Loraine was here. And Jordan, of course.”
She noticed her mother’s expression harden at the mention of Jordan’s name. She had yet to tell her mother the extent of their relationship. She could only imagine her reaction. She feared it would drive a permanent wedge between them and she wasn’t ready for that. She hoped that the baby could bring them closer together again.
“Are you going to continue to live there? With her?”
“Yes.”
“You’re going to need help, Annie. You could come home with us,” her mother offered.
Annie tilted her head. “Mom? During my whole pregnancy, you’ve been ashamed of me. I know at the beginning, it was a shock to you. But after all this time, you’ve still remained distant. Why is that?”
“I think maybe it is you who has been distant.”
Annie shook her head. “No.” She paused. “Is all of this really because I’m living with Jordan?”
“You know how I feel about her.”
“Yes, you’ve made that perfectly clear. The problem is, you don’t even know anything about her. She’s…she’s so kind and caring. She’s…she’s solid. No matter what, she’s been there for me. Through all of this, from the first day I met her, she’s been my rock. I don’t think I could have made it through this without her.”
“You don’t have to try to sell her to me, Annie. I simply don’t approve of her lifestyle.” She pointed at Jacob. “And now you’re going to expose an innocent baby to all that. God only knows how he’s going to turn out.”
Annie bit her lower lip, trying so hard to keep her retort inside. She failed, however.
“Turn out?” she asked loudly. “Children of gay parents turn out perfectly fine, thank you. He will have a very loving home. And he will have grandparents who love him and spoil him.” She paused. “Well, at least one set, anyway.”
“You act like I don’t want to have anything to do with him.”
“Do you? You don’t want to have anything to do with me.”
“Nonsense. If that was the case, I wouldn’t have offered for you to move back with us.” She took a step closer. “Please consider it, Annie. If not for you, then for the baby. He needs a normal home. You don’t know what she might do to him.”
“Oh, God, I can’t believe you just said that.”
“It’s the truth. You don’t know. She could—”
“Stop it,” she said. “Please don’t say something you’re going to regret.”
“Regret?”
“Yes. Because Jordan and I are—”
&nbs
p; She stopped when the door opened, relieved to see Jordan there. Jordan paused when she saw her mother, but Annie waved her in.
“Hello, Mrs. Thomas,” Jordan said with a smile. “Glad you could make it by.” If Jordan noticed the tension between them, she didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, she handed Annie a plastic wrapper. “Cookie,” she said.
“Thank you.” Annie looked up at her mother, seeing the scorn on her face as she avoided looking at Jordan. Annie had had enough. She took Jordan’s hand and smiled as Jordan’s eyebrows shot up. “As I was saying, Mom…Jordan and I are more than friends.” Her mother looked at her sharply. “I love her.”
Her mother gasped and held a hand to her chest. Her eyes went between them, landing on their clasped hands. Annie was shocked by the rage she saw on her face. Her mother turned to Jordan.
“What have you done to her?”
Jordan’s expression softened, and she smiled slightly. “I fell in love with her. That’s all.”
Her mother shook her head violently. “No! No. This is outrageous.” She turned to Annie. “You will come home with me. I won’t have you—”
“Mom, stop.” Annie held her hand up. “I’m happy. For the first time in my life, I’m happy with someone. This is who I am.”
“No! This is not who you are. Not ever, do you hear me?”
“I’m sorry,” Annie said. “But yes, this is me.”
Their loud voices apparently roused Jacob from his sleep and his face turned red before he let out a cry. Jordan scooped him up and held him for a moment, then gently handed him over to her.
“He’s hungry,” Annie said. She unbuttoned her gown and her mother turned away from the sight of her breasts.
“Mrs. Thomas, I’m sorry that you don’t understand this love between us,” Jordan said. “But it’s real. I love your daughter very much and I only want to make her happy. That’s my goal. To love her and make her happy.”
“You can’t possibly know—”
“I know I love her. I know she loves me. Nothing else matters.”
Annie watched Jacob suckle her breast while she listened to their exchange. She was surprised her mother hadn’t already walked out.
“What about him?” her mother asked, pointing at Jacob.
“We’re a family now,” Jordan said. “He will have plenty of love.”
“He needs a father.”
“Well, he’ll have two moms instead,” Jordan said. “And I hear Derrick has offered to teach him how to play baseball,” she said, surprising Annie. “I happen to have taught Matt how to play, so I’m pretty good myself. And then there’s Brandon. He’s our water expert. Swimming and sailboarding are already on his list.” Jordan shrugged. “My father, of course, plans to be very active in his life. He’ll have plenty of male role models.”
Annie watched her mother closely, reading her expression. She knew exactly what her mother’s next words were going to be.
“So…Derrick will be involved?”
“She said Derrick has offered his baseball expertise, that’s all,” Annie corrected. “Please don’t take that to mean Derrick and I will be involved.”
“And does he know about…well, this change in you?”
Annie smiled. “No. I haven’t seen him in a while. I hear he’s got a girlfriend.”
“Really? But I thought—”
“He’s not holding out for me, Mom. I told you, Derrick and I talked.”
Her mother rubbed her forehead. “I don’t understand all of this.” She looked at Jordan. “I knew she shouldn’t have ever moved in with you in the first place. Then this wouldn’t have happened. I tried to warn her.”
“It still would have happened,” Annie said. “I love her, Mom. I want you and Dad to be a part of my life, a part of Jacob’s life. But just know that Jordan is a part of that too.”
“You think I can accept this? Accept that my daughter is having an affair with a woman?”
“It’s not an affair,” Jordan said.
“And what do your parents think about this?”
Jordan shrugged. “My parents love me, they love Annie. They don’t try to interfere.”
Her mother shook her head. “It’s just such a shock. First, the pregnancy. Now this? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.”
“Then get to know me, Mom. Once we’re settled, come by the house. Loraine is going to stay with us for a few days, until I’m comfortable with him on my own.”
“She is?”
“Yes. I’d like for you and Loraine to get to know each other better too. She’s a wonderful person, Mom.”
Her mother hesitated a moment. “I suppose I could come by. Your father will want to see Jacob, of course.”
Annie nodded. “Good. I’d like that.”
Her mother cleared her throat. “Well, I should probably get going.” She walked over to the bed and touched Jacob’s head. “Looks like he took to breast-feeding easily.”
“Yes.” Annie grabbed her mother’s hand. “Thank you for coming by.”
Her mother nodded. “I’ll…I’ll call you in a few days. We’ll come by to see you.” Her mother turned to Jordan. “And we’ll see you too, of course.”
Jordan smiled. “Looking forward to it.”
Chapter Forty-Five
Jordan turned as Annie came out on the deck. She was carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“Escaped, did you?” Jordan asked.
“He’s in good hands, I think.”
“Are they arguing over who gets to feed him?”
Annie smiled. “They’re telling stories about when we were babies.” She poured wine into the glasses. “I’m glad I’m not breast-feeding anymore. That pump was a bitch.”
Jordan laughed. “Thankful for small breasts after all, huh?”
“Oh, I’m glad I got to experience breast-feeding, but I’m not that disappointed that I couldn’t produce enough milk for him.” She held her glass up and touched Jordan’s. “Besides, now you don’t have to drink alone.”
Jordan moved away from the railing and into the shadows, pulling Annie with her. She leaned closer, kissing her lightly. “While I’m glad our mothers are getting along, I miss us.”
“Yes, it seems that one or the other is always here.”
“Your mother has actually been civil to me,” she said.
“I noticed that. She also saw us kissing and didn’t freak out.”
Jordan nodded. “My mother kinda had a talk with her,” she admitted.
Annie pulled back. “Really? Giving her advice on having a lesbian daughter?”
Jordan laughed. “Something like that.” She kissed her again. “So can I be rude and tell them not to come over every day?”
Annie nodded. “Yes. I think three weeks is long enough. But maybe you should let me tell them.”
“Here’s an idea. Let’s have everyone over for dinner Sunday. We’ll tell them how grateful we are for their support and assistance, but that we’re ready to be on our own. Short, sweet and to the point.”
Annie set her glass on the railing and looped her arms around Jordan’s neck. “Sounds like a plan. Because I miss you sleeping naked.”
Jordan smiled against her lips. “Oh, honey, there’s a whole bunch of things I miss.”
Annie pulled back, her expression turning serious. “I love you, Jordan.”
“I love you too. We’re going to have a great little family.”
“Yes, we are.”
Annie leaned in to kiss her, their playfulness of earlier vanishing as their kiss deepened. Jordan pulled her closer, relishing the full-body contact that had become impossible while she was pregnant.
“Oh…my.”
They pulled apart guiltily at the sound of Annie’s mother’s voice. Neither of them had heard the door open. Annie squeezed Jordan’s hand briefly.
“Is he sleeping already?”
“Yes. I was about to head out. I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to—”
“Mom,
it’s okay. We just haven’t had much alone time.” Annie headed to the door. “I’ll see if Loraine needs any help.”
Jordan nearly panicked as Annie left her alone with her mother. Not freaking out when seeing them share a tiny kiss was not the same thing as seeing them in a passionate embrace. Annie’s mother was the first to break the silence.
“Loraine told me that you and Annie…well, that your relationship was like any other. I still had a hard time comprehending it though.”
Jordan walked closer. “I’m sorry. We should have been more considerate of you.”
“No. This is your home,” she said, surprising her. “Seeing you like that,” she said, motioning to the shadows where they’d been, “makes me realize that you really are in love with each other.”
“Yes, we are.”
“I always knew Annie was never really happy with Derrick. I think I knew before they even got married. I should have said something to her, but…well, I thought Derrick would be good for her.” She turned to face Jordan. “I see now that she is truly happy…with you. I’m sorry for the way I acted.”
Jordan shrugged. “I appreciate that. But you should apologize to Annie, not to me.”
She nodded. “Yes. I should.” She moved away. “Well, I need to get going.”
“Thank you for your help, Mrs. Thomas. It means a lot to Annie.”
She paused at the door. “Jordan…please call me Clara.”
Jordan smiled. “Thank you. I will.”
* * *
“He looks just like Jordan.”
Annie smiled. “Loraine, he looks like Matt.”
Loraine laughed. “Well, Matt and Jordan looked alike.”
Annie went over and hugged her. “It’s okay to say he looks like Matt.”
Loraine sighed. “I miss him so much sometimes.”
“I know.”
Loraine sighed again. “Well, this little fella is going to be spoiled rotten, I can assure you that.”
“I have no doubt,” she said with a laugh.
“Where’s Jordan?”
Annie laughed. “I left her out on the deck with my mother. She caught us kissing.”
“Oh, poor Jordan.”
“Poor Jordan what?” Jordan asked as she came into the room.
“I was telling her my mom caught us kissing.”