by Tess Summers
He had been thinking all night about everything he had done wrong to not be the one with Ava. Holding her petite body for that brief period of time less than an hour ago felt perfect. She was made to fit in his arms, on his chest and in his bed next to him.
How could someone as smart as I proclaim to be have fucked this up so badly? He wanted to tell her about Tara being his sister but couldn’t figure out how. How did he say, Oh hey, I’m a total asshole and made that shit up about me being a daddy. I’m really only going to be an uncle. And by the way, I am in love with you. You’d think he could find the words, given what he did for a living, but it seemed when it came to her, he had been at a loss lately—at least for the right ones anyway.
Shamefaced, he replied, “Okay, I just thought we could toast Fred’s recovery.”
She shook her head and once again replied with just, “No.”
They stood in silence for a second before she frostily said, “Goodnight, Travis. I’m very glad Fred is going to be okay.” And she left.
He needed to talk to her—now. He’d rather she think him a shit for lying than a scumbag cheater. Running after her, he called her name. She turned around with an annoyed look but waited for him to catch up.
“Can I just have five minutes? Please? I need to talk to you.”
*
She was taken aback by his pleading tone. She’d only heard that when he was teasing her but never seriously, and the way he said it, it was evident he was serious. Motioning to the bench on the sidewalk, she situated herself so she was angled toward him, legs tucked to the side, and her hands fidgeting in her lap. What on earth is this about?
He sat beside her, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, fingers entwined between his legs. He was obviously trying to figure out what to say to her. Finally, he took a deep breath, sat up straighter, and faced her.
“The night of the ball…” He paused.
Yes, she remembered that awful night but didn’t say anything, just waited for him to continue.
He started again. “The night of the ball, I wasn’t honest with you.”
What did he mean he wasn’t honest with me? We didn’t even speak to each other.
“Tara Whitaker.” He paused again.
What about her? Spit it out, man!
“Tara is my sister. She is, of course, not pregnant with my child. I made that up to be spiteful.”
Suddenly the earth seemed to be spinning too fast for Ava, and she felt nauseous as she tried to process what he had told her. Why would he have done such a cruel thing? He had devastated her with that story, and she felt the tears welling up in her eyes.
“What a horrible thing to do,” was all she could manage to whisper.
“Ava, I know, and I’m so sorry.” He tried to hold her hands, but she snatched them away. “I don’t have a good excuse. I was jealous, and I’m an asshole.”
Opening her mouth to speak, then closing it again, not knowing what to say, she looked at him as if she readily agreed with that assessment. He was an asshole.
She sat for a moment, staring straight ahead, and finally muttered in a low voice, “I can’t believe you did that to me,” then looked at him again, anger flashing in her eyes now instead of tears.
“I never meant to hurt y—”
She cut him off right there. “Bullshit. That’s exactly what you meant to do. You knew just how to hurt me, and you did it. That practically destroyed me.”
“Yeah, you’ve seemed really destroyed with your marine and all the other men you’ve been out with,” he snarked.
“Screw you, Travis,” she said as she got up and started walking toward her car.
Travis followed her this time and grabbed her arm. Ava tried to shrug him off, which only served to make him grab both her arms and shake her a little.
“I’m sorry! Tell me what to do to make it right, and I’ll do it!”
“Go to hell,” she seethed and tried to break free of his hold.
Rather than let her go, he brought her closer to him. “Baby, I wish I could take it back. I hate that I hurt you.”
She was in a state of turmoil, furious at what he had done but oh-so-aware of his body touching hers. Her brain was sending alternating signals to the rest of her. Overwhelmed by the conflicting emotions, she simply started to cry.
Travis enveloped her in his arms, and when she looked up at him, he brought his mouth swiftly down on hers, trying to make up for a lost month as his lips devoured hers. Without hesitation, she returned his kiss and felt a potpourri of emotions wash over her as his tongue sought hers out, as if to offer its own apology. God, she loved how it felt being in his arms. His touch, his smell, his taste, his kiss…it was all intoxicating.
Ava, he hurt you on purpose, and you’re kissing him like he should be rewarded.
Bells, whistles, and alarms started going off in her head. Suddenly, she broke from the kiss and pushed him away.
“I can’t do this Travis,” she sobbed as she ran to her car.
He didn’t chase after her this time, just stood in the parking lot where she left him and simply called out, “Ava, please don’t go.”
Managing to unlock her car through her tears, she was still sobbing when she started the engine and hoped not to hit anything as she pulled out of the parking lot.
Instinctively, she started driving toward her parents’ house, then realized they were probably already in bed. Anne was on a date and Ava didn’t want to interrupt, yet she didn’t want to be alone right now. She’d had a few lunch dates with Tracey, the girl from the WWP ball, but decided their friendship was still too new to be confiding something like this, so with a sad sigh, she started driving home.
I need more friends. She called her brother Steven, not caring he was three hours ahead of her, but hung up when she got his voicemail. Minutes later, her phone pinged with a text from him inquiring what was up.
Doesn’t anyone talk on the phone anymore? This was far too complicated to explain via text, so she wrote back, Can you call me?
His reply of, Tomorrow okay? led her to believe he probably wasn’t alone, and the fact of the matter was there was nothing he could do from three thousand miles away anyway except listen, so she responded that was fine.
Throwing her keys on the kitchen counter as she walked in the door, her emotions were all over the place. She was still angry but was also hurt, and even more than that, confused. His revelation he had made up going to be a father and let her languish for almost three weeks infuriated her. Yet, it was also a relief. However, it did not change why they were initially separated—not only his apparent lack of faith in her abilities, but his not coming after her weighed heavily on her mind. He hadn’t thought she was important enough to fight for.
That realization had been very humbling and caused her to have a lot of self-doubt over the month following. The night he came home early and took her on his kitchen counter, she had been sure things had changed between them. When he carried her to his room and made love to her repeatedly and passionately, she would have been willing to bet anything he was in love with her. She knew even though she didn’t say the words to him, she had left him with no doubt she was madly in love with him.
That’s what scared him, you idiot.
Over the last month, that reel had been replayed over and over in her head, and she chastised herself each time she got to the part where she had been too forthcoming and open regarding how she felt about him.
Her hands on the back of the counter barstool, she shook her head vehemently. No! She didn’t want a relationship like that, one where she couldn’t be herself for fear it would scare the man away. What did it say about how Travis felt about her if knowing she was in love with him caused him to make up reasons to flee?
No, she had done some things wrong in their relationship, especially overestimating his feelings about her, but being honest about how she felt toward him was not one of them.
> * * * *
Travis stood in the parking lot and watched Ava drive off. Pride started to rear its ugly head before he suddenly had the realization it was his pride that had gotten him into this situation to begin with. Pride and fear.
He thought about Ron Thompson’s disclosure. Ron was going after her when he returned home in December and Travis almost conceded right there to the man. Yet he couldn’t. Maybe Ron Thompson really was the better man, but at that moment he realized he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t at least try to get her back. They were made to be together. He might not be a better man than the general, but he was convinced he was the better man for Ava.
Her front door pushed open when he knocked on it. She hadn’t made sure it was latched behind her when she came in.
She jumped with a start when she saw him in her doorway, but she didn’t say anything as she looked at him.
Her eyes were red from crying, and Travis felt like a shit for being the cause of that. He didn’t know how to express with words how sorry he was, so he held her gaze as he slowly walked toward her. She didn’t flinch or pull away as he cupped her face in his right hand. Instead, she closed her eyes and rubbed her cheek against his palm while kissing his wrist.
He was still staring at her when she opened her eyes, desire now replacing his previous look of apology. Taking his hand, she led him into her bedroom, where she started unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt, which she was still wearing, her eyes on him the entire time.
“Ava, I—”
She put her fingers to his lips to silence him while she shook her head. “Not tonight. I don’t want to think tonight. I just want to feel. Just for tonight.”
He groaned as he grabbed her face in both his hands, kissing her passionately, and he felt her completely surrender to his touch. Ridgeport Realty, his sister Tara and the ball, the hurt feelings, none of it mattered tonight. The only thing that mattered was their need for each other.
She closed her eyes as his mouth consumed hers, and let out a little whimper when he broke their kiss to sensually caress her neck with his lips. She arched her back as he made his way to her chest, his fingers entwined and tugging on her hair. She moaned when his tongue flicked over her stiff nipples then drew his head closer when he began to suck on them.
Pulling his head to her face and urgently looking him in the eye, she pleaded, “I need to feel you inside me. Please? Make love to me.”
He wanted to make love to her, yet also thought about all the things he still wanted to do to her body. Taking comfort knowing they had all night, he reluctantly pulled away and took off his shirt before unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them off, then watched in amazement at how quickly she removed her clothes and laid on the bed waiting for him, her body beckoning him to hurry.
He crawled up over her until he reached her mouth. The minute his skin touched hers, he felt her get goosebumps from head to toe. He was amazed at how much he had missed her in the month they had been apart. Her body was warm, her familiar apple blossom hair providing a sense of comfort as well as desire, and when she clung to him, willing him to penetrate her, he let out a groan.
He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted a woman in his life, and it took every ounce of his willpower not to slide his cock inside her drenched pussy.
Laying on top of her, his face inches from hers, he whispered, “My test results are still valid. I haven’t been with anyone else.”
She closed her eyes and nodded. He knew she’d heard him but it was like it wasn’t registering as she hungrily thrust her hips against his. She opened her eyes when she finally realized he was waiting for her to validate there wasn’t a need on her part for a condom.
“I haven’t been with anyone either,” she said breathlessly, still straining her mound against his erection.
Satisfied (and secretly delighted), he kissed her mouth while moving his cock against her sex and pushing slightly. She was so tight. If he’d had any doubt about her being intimate with the general, that completely erased it.
The sensation as he filled her made them both moan, and she spread her legs wide to welcome him in. He held her close, kissing her and sucking her lips as she got used to him. Her knees up and on either side of him, they began to move in sync, her back arching as he kissed her neck and massaged her breasts. When he brought his face back to within inches of hers, she closed her eyes while kissing him everywhere her lips could touch, her arms wrapped around him and clinging to his back as he rocked into her. Moaning with every steady thrust, she lowered her hands to his ass, as if trying to push him deeper inside.
Travis loved how she felt underneath him, his arms around her tight body as he kissed and tasted her. He had missed her so much and was somewhat stunned she was actually naked in his arms. Had anyone told him this morning that he would be making love to Ava tonight, he never would have believed it. Watching her react to his touch and feeling her so in the moment with him made his dick hard as a rock. He relished the taste of her skin against his lips, the feel of her touch, and the look on her face as he slowly and sensually slid himself inside her warm, wet pussy.
While looking into her eyes as he moved in and out, twice he almost told her how much he missed her, and once almost told her he loved her. He didn’t think either would be well received based on her not wanting to think, just feel. Instead, he told her how good her body felt, and how much he loved making love to her.
He raised up so he was stiff-armed as he started fucking her deeper and faster. Her whimpers encouraged him on as he breathlessly whispered, “Yeah, baby.”
Sitting back on his knees, he put her ankles on his shoulders while he picked up the pace even more. Fuck, now he was going to come, and he wasn’t ready. He pulled out and kissed her calves and ankles while regaining his composure. He spread her legs wide and began to rub his member in circles around her clit, making her arch her back and silently moan Oh with her eyes closed. Sliding his shaft back into her pussy, he used one of her legs for leverage as his fingers took over for his cock on her clit.
Her whimpering and quiet moans were replaced with heavy breathing and cries of, “Oh my God!” as he began to move in and out of her hard and fast. He knew she was close to orgasm when she instructed, “Oh yes, right there. Oh my God, don’t stop! Right there!” Expertly polishing her clit while his own impending climax approached, he started moaning when she went still and curved up off the bed with a silent cry, then gasped for breath as her body shuddered. Using both hands now to hold her legs, he plunged with five more deep thrusts before filling her pussy with shot after shot of his thick cream, grunting with each spurt.
Breathing heavy and sweating, he collapsed on top of her, kissing her while hugging her close, as if she might go away if he didn’t.
Pressing his forehead against hers and looking into her eyes, he wanted to tell her so many things but was satisfied, for the moment, at the words silently exchanged when she looked back at him.
As he rolled off her onto his back, she got up to get a towel to clean off and brought him back one, the reversal of their roles in that department striking him as funny for some reason as she crawled back into bed with him. He was anxious for another go but needed to recoup and thought about fingering her to another orgasm in the meantime. Instead she assumed her position on his chest and held him tight while listening to his heartbeat. Fuck, he loved having her there and was about to tell her that, but she raised her head while shaking it no and put her finger to his lips.
“Not tonight.”
He knew what she was doing. Tonight she wasn’t going to think. Tonight she was going to lie there in his arms like that’s where she belonged. Everything else she’d deal with tomorrow. And that’s what worried him.
* * * *
Travis woke in the middle of the night, happy to find himself in Ava’s bed with her nestled in next to him. It wasn’t a dream.
The light from the full moon was shini
ng in through her window, and he found himself studying her while she slept. Her features were soft, and her blonde hair almost looked white in the moonlight as it was spread out over his chest. While he watched her breasts rise and fall with each relaxed breath, he couldn’t help but look farther down at the rest of her naked body.
Looking at her tiny frame next to him, he had only one thought—she belonged there. Surely she had to know that, or at least feel it too. She had to know in his arms was the safest place she could ever be. He’d always protect her and care for her.
And love her.
Except he hadn’t. He’d been a completely jealous asshole, and he couldn’t be more sorry.
He’d known since the night in his kitchen he was in love with her, and it had scared the shit out of him at the time. Realizing that losing her scared him a thousand times more, he had to make things right with her. He also knew that night in the kitchen she was in love with him, and that probably scared him even more. She didn’t hand that out like it was candy on Halloween. Being loved by her meant something, and right now he was hardly worthy of it, if she even still loved him at all. He had to make her love him again.
Closing his eyes, he breathed in her hair and wrapped his arms around her. He couldn’t lose her. It simply wasn’t an option.
He hadn’t realized it, but he had been kissing her temple repeatedly and hugging her tight as he was lost in his thoughts. When she sleepily looked up at him and smiled her tender smile, he was overwhelmed with his feelings for her.
“Ava,” he said as he kissed her hair again. “I lo—”
She raised her head and put her fingertips to his mouth. “Please, Travis.”
If she wouldn’t let him say the words, he was going to show her. Sliding his arm out from under her, he sat up and leaned over her body, where he kissed her softly on the lips before sucking her neck right below her ear. Groaning, she closed her eyes, and he moved back to her face, where he tenderly kissed her eyelids before moving to the other side of her neck.