by Jen Pretty
I turned back around, and the kitchen was full of people again like they had never left. I apologized to the kitchen staff, they were some of my favorite people, after all. I asked them to please not cook my duck then made my way back to the courtyard where everyone was waiting for me. They had finished their meals at this point, and the table and chairs were all gone again.
"I told you they wouldn't eat Daisy," Roman whispered as I passed him. The smile on his face said more than enough. I gave him the finger and slapped a smile back on my face, pulling myself together so I could face another bunch of hours trying to teach these people to find magic.
I ended up using the ground magic to change the King back to human at his request. He didn't want to spend the night as a wolf, and I couldn't really blame him, but it had a toll on me, and we called it a day when the King saw how the ground Magic affected me.
On our way back to our rooms I told Roman about the man I had met in the hall.
"I don't like the sound of that. Your magic being felt by strange people from across the land. You seem to be attracting all kinds here," he said shaking his head.
"Well, not much I can do about it. I can't leave until these people have figured out their magic and helped me with Armond. You know we can't just leave him."
Roman raised his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying we need to be more careful. We still don't know why or who was trying to abduct you or kill you in the tunnel. I don't like it."
"You and me both," I said still considering this latest mysterious man and playing his words over in my head. I had a lot of magic back on earth, but it didn't seem like my magic was so extreme here. The ground magic controlled the wolf King and, I assumed, the rest of the people who shapeshifted.
I sighed and decided it was probably a problem for future Lex. Right now I needed food, a hot bath and bed. In that order.
I was in luck on the first part. When we walked into the room, there was a vast spread of foods on the table. Daisy was standing on the table flapping his wings and checking out all the offerings. Probably looking for toast as that seemed to be all he ate. I didn't see any toast. There were lots of meats and cheese and veggies. It smelled like heaven.
"Daisy, get your floppy feet off the plates," I said as I scooped up the spoiled duck and pressed him to my cheek. He quacked but then snuggled into my hair and rested his head on my shoulder. "I love you, buddy."
Roman smiled and then quickly turned back to the food. He grabbed a plate that Daisy hadn't been standing on and started filling it up. I grabbed another plate with one hand and set it beside the food. My other hand was occupied with a snuggling duck, but I managed to shovel some food onto the plate and then scooped it up and walked to the couch where Roman was sitting and plonked down beside him. Sleepy Daisy and all.
I sighed, "Do you think we could make it to the hot springs without being attacked? I'd really like to get clean before I fall unconscious in the bed."
"Our guards are back at the door, so I'd say there is a good chance between them and us, we could make it relatively unscathed," he snickered.
"Alright, eat up Vamp," I said taking a bite of my food.
"Are you offering?"
I shot him a dirty look, "Still a firm no on that," I replied.
He just laughed, and I threw a green bean at him.
Once we had eaten, I got all the things we needed for the hot spring and tucked Daisy into bed. Roman declared he was clean enough and would just keep an eye out while I got the stink off me.
Roman, our two guards and I made our way down, and this time we didn't meet any trouble. I had a quick bath and washed out my hair. It was getting to be more of a nuisance now. I used to love having it down my back and the feel of it swirling around in the breeze. Now I could hardly stand it. I didn't want it. I wanted it all gone. My chest was tight. My heart was pounding in my ears. I was failing at everything, even my hair was a mess. Something had to give. I snapped. I knew my knife was in with my clothes on the side of the pool, so I swam back to the edge and pulled it out. I quickly gathered it all up, and in a few strokes, it was done. My hair was not even shoulder length. I had never had hair this short before, and my head immediately felt so much lighter. I laughed a bit at the irony that I had lived with this hair for so long and now it was gone. I laughed a bit more.
Looking back, I can see how crazy I was. We all knew I would get self-destructive; I guess no one expected it to be so extreme though.
"What is it?" Roman asked with his back still turned to me.
I hopped out and wrapped a towel around myself still holding my knife in one hand and my hair in the other. I cut my arm a bit trying to wrestle the towel on. I snickered again as I couldn't hold it in.
I walked over to Roman and said: "look." Like it was a regular thing.
He spun around and looked at what was in my hands. "What have you done?" he whispered.
"I set myself free," I declared and spun around laughing.
After a moment I realized that no one else was laughing. "What?" I said.
Roman grabbed my hand and took my knife away and tucked it into his belt. Then he pulled me into him and wrapped one arm around me, his other arm tightly wrapped around my wrist where I was bleeding. I guess I had cut myself worse than I thought. It seemed like a lot of blood all of a sudden and not so funny anymore. I felt tears well up in my eyes and spill over before the smile had even left my face.
"I feel dizzy," I said as I leaned more of my weight into Roman.
"Shit, Lex. I'm sorry. I failed you again."
"It was an accident. I think," I muttered. It sounded exactly like the time I overdosed. More tears fell. "Please don't tell anyone," I muttered as my eyes lost focus and the world slowly turned to black.
chapter NINE
After that, the days blurred together. I sat in the courtyard with the leaders and waited for them each to find their magic. The King was the first to be able to use his magic at will, and that was a good thing because he was the largest of the creatures. The other leaders ended up being all types of wolves and coyotes. They eventually all managed to get control of their magic but by now I didn't care about anything. I had started letting days pass quickly using my magic. I slept as much as Roman would allow, which wasn't nearly enough. Sometimes he would stay with me and talk about everything and nothing and other times he would be off doing who knows what. Probably vampire stuff. I didn't care.
It was late one afternoon when he came in and picked me up and carried me back through the door. I tried to protest, but I didn't care that much, so I just lay there and let him move me through the castle and out the door. He walked to the edge of the city, through the gates and out to where the forest began then stopped and sat down on a large rock beside the path.
I just stared up at him. He had this look on his face like a desperate man. He still hadn't spoken to me, and if I could bring myself to care, I would find it odd. He swallowed, and I watched his throat bob. He opened and closed his mouth several times like he wanted to say something but no words came out.
We just sat there for a long time; He sitting on the rock and me curled up in his arms like a child. It reminded me of Armond. Of when Armond carried me to the forest and made me fight and when he brought me home after the final fight with Joshua. Tears came to my eyes as I finally felt an emotion. I'd been empty for days, feeling nothing at all.
Roman finally glanced down at me, and I watched sadness wash over his face. He wasn't who I thought he was at first. Roman seemed aloof when I met him. He made it evident that he thought I was attractive but he didn't show emotion or maybe I just didn't want to see his humanity until it was impossible to ignore. I didn't know why we were sitting here, but I did know one thing for sure; Roman was absolutely not a heartless monster. In fact, he was probably a better person than anyone else I had known. Definitely better than me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. I wanted to be a stronger person for him. I wanted to be a stronger person for m
yself. Wasn't it my idea to try not to go off the rails without anyone bonded to me in the first place?
Margot was right, I was successful here. The people had magic, and the King promised to leave earth and the humans ignorant of our magical world, but I was right too. I was disappointing everyone. Worst of all, Victor was right; I was disappointing myself.
Finally Roman spoke "Aldridge has been taken by the rebels. The King was preparing to help us fight for Armond anyway, so his troops are ready to go." He took a deep breath and held it for a second before he continued, "We need you, Lex. Your own magic is so strong, and it will be the thing that helps us defeat the rebels and the witch."
I shifted my eyes to the sky beyond his head. Armond needed me, and so did Aldridge. I had to find a way to be stronger. I pulled my magic and stopped time. Roman raised an eyebrow at me, but I just kept my eyes on the sky. "Sometimes it feels better when I stop time," I said still not looking at Roman.
"Maybe your own magic is the key." He said.
I glanced at him. "What do you mean?" I still hadn't let my magic go, and I was starting to feel more alive than I had in days. "I can't just keep everyone frozen all the time, Roman."
He smiled, "I'm not frozen. I'd happily live here alone with you forever, but I imagine you will get tired soon. But what if you just held your magic. Start by trying to let go of some but not all your magic. Leave the ground magic alone. We know that affects you in a negative way."
I had to give it to the man, he might be on to something. I let the magic slip away, but before it was gone, I tried to pull it back. It became a tug of war for several minutes. It wasn't long before time was almost normal, but I still felt that calm that came when I stopped time. I had stopped time to get myself together so many times but not once did I think it was the magic that was helping me. I had just assumed taking a timeout was what helped.
I shook my head. "It was there all along. I just didn't notice." I leaned up and kissed Roman. "Thank you," I said. He had a shocked look on his face, and his eyes glowed for a second, then he leaned down and kissed me. He deepened the kiss, and I encouraged him. The wave of calm that hit me next was euphoric. After the pain of the previous days, feeling whole and good was like breaking out of chains. I heard the birds singing then. My magic was still trickling out slowly, but it wasn't impacting time.
When Roman and I broke away from our kiss, we were both breathing heavily and smiling. We had too much to do. I knew we couldn't explore a relationship right now, but I knew that I wanted to, despite his red eyes and sharp teeth. When I looked at Roman now, I just saw a man, never a monster. I knew with certainty that he wouldn't hurt me and soon we would have a chance to figure it out together.
The birds were still loud enough I had the urge to shout over them, but I remembered Romans vamp hearing, so I whispered "Thank you" again to him. Wrapped my arms around him and held on as he raced us back to the castle.
"So the King has troops, you said?" I asked him as we ate our dinner that night. I had already changed into my pajamas. Daisy had joined us and was unhappily eating some lettuce I gave him.
"Yes. The King has a large army and over half have already figured out how to use magic."
I raised my eyebrows that was impressive for a world that had no magic only a short while ago. Also probably a huge advantage considering those wolves were pretty deadly looking. "Does the King know how to deal with the witch?" I asked.
"He thinks if we take out the rebels she might flee. The old stories say she had half the kingdom on her side before she was strong enough to steal the magic, now she has only about 100 or so, though that number may have risen since the magic was returned. I have been speaking to the town folk and elders and, as I understand it, she is promising a better world where the people all live in castles and have wealth and technology," he paused for a moment, "It sounds like she is promising them the earth."
Oh, this was bad. I did not want that crazy lady on earth. I sat back and thought about the damage she would do on earth. She could expose all the magical beings and change the course of the human race.
"How does the door work? Can it be destroyed?" I asked.
Roman sighed. "She made the door with magic from these people. They use ground Magic to change, so in theory, you might be able to use enough of it to destroy the door. It might be more than you can handle though. We don't know your limit."
I scoffed "that hardly matters if we are talking about saving all the people on earth. I'm just one person."
He slammed his fork down, his eyes glowing red. "You will not sacrifice yourself!" he declared in a tone that suggested we lived 100 years ago when a man had the right to make decisions for a woman.
I started laughing. I tried to pull it back in but it was absolutely hilarious that he thought he had a say in the choices I made.
He ran his fingers through his hair a few times, obviously frustrated.
"I'm sorry, you want to try that again?" I said still unable to hold my laughter in.
"I'm sorry," he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You're right. I just can't lose you. I finally found you after all these years, and it makes me a bit crazy to think of you leaving me now."
"Alright, caveman. Settle down. I'm sure I can only use so much magic before I pass out anyway. I seem to have a fail switch built in, but if it's between me and the whole of the earth, I'd have to try at least."
"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that. The King wants us to head out tomorrow night. He's pretty sure they are holed up in the caves to the North, in Sofia's territory. She told the King that there are reports of them frequently travelling through her towns closest to the caves. It seems like a good lead. It will take 2 full days to get there so better to leave in the evening and arrive in the evening. So we can attack in the dark."
Roman had started stroking my short hair back from my face, and I was getting tired. Using a small amount of my magic regularly was wearing me out. Roman noticed and took the fork from my hand, setting it down on the table gently and then scooping me up and setting me down on the bed. He pulled the blankets back and then tucked me in. Just as he stood to leave, I grabbed his hand.
"Stay with me," I said. He just nodded and climbed in beside me. I fit perfectly next to him and was asleep before I could say another thing.
"There you are."
I spun around in an instant and threw myself at the man who had spoken. His voice like a song to my soul. He squeaked a bit as I tightened my arms in a bear hug "Thank you," I whispered as my cousin laughed and stroked my head.
"I've been doing some work for the council. I wanted to come sooner, but they said you had some things to figure out. So I guess you have figured out something important now?" Luke asked trying to set me away from himself so he could see me and maybe breathe but I wasn't ready to let him go yet. He giggled as I clung to him.
"Those meddling assholes," I mumbled, but I supposed they had a point. "Ya, I guess I figured out how to be alone, but I almost killed myself to do it," I told him the whole story of cutting off my hair and letting time slip and Roman finally figuring out how I could use my magic as my own bond.
"Ugh, Lex, they shouldn't have let you get so bad. I could have come to you," he said finally giving up on breaking free of my hold and just resting his arms around my shoulders and leaning his face into my short hair.
"It's too dangerous here, Luke. Their rebels are serious, and the witch is a psycho. There's no way I want you anywhere near this," I scolded.
"Alright fine, but still. I wish you hadn't been alone. There could have been an easier way."
"I'm not alone though," I said biting my lip. "Roman is here, and he's been helping me. Do you know what a destined is?" I asked.
I looked up at Luke when he didn't reply right away. He had this look of shock on his face. "Are you sure?" was all he asked.
"I don't know anything for sure, but he can calm me like you or Armond can sometimes, and he says it means we are des
tined. I don't know about that but I know he's been here and fighting for me. It was his idea to try and use my magic to stabilize myself. He's kind of been amazing."
"The vampire," he said obviously shocked by my confession.
I laughed "I can't really believe it either."
"Wow." After a long moment, he shook his head like he was trying to shake the thoughts away and looked back at me. "This is probably Good, Lex. Listen, I've been trying to reach Armond, but so far I can't get through to him. I don't know if the witch has some magic around him that is blocking me or what. I can feel him, but can't quite reach him. I just wanted you to know that."
I nodded. "Ok. Thanks, Luke." I hugged him tightly again, and he grunted before I let him go and he vanished into a fog, and I was pushed back to consciousness.
"Thank God. I thought you were dead," I heard Roman say as my eyes slid open. I single tear ran down my cheek and onto the pillow.
"No. Luke was there. He said he's been trying to reach Armond, but cant. He thinks there is some magic holding him," I said, taking a deep breath to try and calm down. Seeing Luke again after so long without him made me feel unstable again, and I had to get control of my magic and keep it together for Armond.
"This all would have been so much easier if Armond hadn't been taken in the first place. Can we go do something? I can't sit here thinking." I looked at Roman, and a wicked smile crossed his face.
"I have just the thing," he said. I got the feeling I wasn't actually going to like what he had planned, but waiting was killing me, and we had a full day before we would head out to save Armond.
Roman scooped me up, and he took off at full speed. Being pressed to his chest while he flew out of the building and then out of the city jump started my heart again. I decided just to let my mind stop for a few minutes and enjoy the rush of the wind and the contrasted slow thump of his heart. He smelled like ash and sandalwood, and I let myself live in this moment.