by Jen Pretty
I reached for my magic to try and punish him or something. Make him feel my pain, but instead a searing fire blew through my head and I screamed, falling to my knees. My stomach roiled and my eyes filled with tears. The pain mixed with the frustration collapsing me to the ground completely. Worn out and broken, I didn’t want to continue.
Puck flashed back to his human form and lifted me up off the ground. Then he shifted again, throwing me onto his back. He raced through the dusty world, away from camp and towards the portal. The air was cooler now as I gripped his mane and clung to his back. I let more tears fall, some for Roman and some for myself.
Puck ran full speed for an hour or more before skidding to a stop in front of the portal, dumping me unceremoniously off his back and on to the hard-packed dirt before he shifted back to his human form. I rolled onto my elbows and glared at him, but he didn’t look sorry in the slightest. He looked mad.
“You walk through that portal and you wait for us. I will collect Roman and bring him along. You have a couple of hours to decide if this is the queen you want to be, Lex.” Then he shifted and took off back the way we came.
Shit.
Ok, I probably deserved that. Armond just carried me all day while I sulked, and I tried to use magic to hurt Puck just because he was honest with me. Roman wouldn’t be happy when he found out about it. I needed to get my head on straight and stop being a bitch to the people who were helping me.
I stood up and dusted the dirt from my clothes as I walked towards the portal.
Before I stepped through, I heard the familiar quack of Daisy. When I turned around, I saw his little feathery body hurtling towards me as fast as his little wings could carry him. He landed with a skid at my feet and I crouched down.
“I’m sorry, I’ve been an asshole,” I said as I pet down his soft neck and across his back. “You are right. I need to get it together.”
He quacked once in agreement and then waddled towards the portal. I followed along behind him through the portal. On the other side I could hear echoes of voices and music. Daisy just kept marching through the twisting tunnels of the caves that housed the portal, and out into late evening glow of the shifter’s world. A swarm of people were there to greet us. Half were werewolves, and half were in human form. There were children and wolf cubs. The leaders of each part of their world were present too. The voices slowly hushed until they all stood in silence and I knew what they were waiting for. I wanted to be happy for them, but I couldn’t bring myself to be happy about anything.
“King Aldridge should be here by morning,” I said in a bland voice. What followed was a cheer of humans and howl of wolves loud enough they probably heard it in Kingsland.
“The witch is dead?” one of the revellers asked, and I felt a pang of sadness try to take me under. I bit my lip and nodded my head so that he wouldn’t see my pain. The witch was dead, but I was going to get Roman back, just like I told Luke and just as I promised myself when we came down off that mountain.
I needed to hold on to that.
I was going to do it for Roman.
I pulled a bit of my magic expecting I would be good to go now that I was out of the plagued world. What I got instead was another spike through my skull that forced me to drop to my knees. My stomach roiled and tried to expel its contents, but I hadn’t eaten so only produced dry heaves that teared my eyes and stole my breath.
A crowd gathered around me, but I couldn’t hear their words. The ringing through my head was overpowering them all. I sat for several minutes with Daisy pressed up beside me like the guardian that he was. Not that anyone here would take advantage. I had just saved their whole damn world and what I got in return was pain on top of heartache.
I stood slowly and walked away from the people. They had the decency to stop their celebration while I was crippled in front of them, but the farther I got, the more the party resumed.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself it wasn’t their fault. I had just scolded myself not to be a raging queen bitch before I stepped through the portal and already I wanted to go storming back there and…what? Fight the innocent people? What was wrong with me?
I found a small pond. It was stagnant but clear. I scooped up water and washed my face while Daisy walked in and started splashing about. I noticed my fingertips had turned black. I couldn’t wash the rot away. It was beneath my skin. I didn’t know what that meant, but I knew it wasn’t good. Something was keeping me from using my magic, and I had a suspicion it was the disgusting magic I had soaked up on the mountaintop. If I couldn’t use my magic, I had no hope of saving Roman.
“This is probably bad, Daisy,” I whispered. He waddled closer and then bit my finger. I snatched my hand away. Little jerk duck.
I scrubbed a bit harder in the water, but it wasn’t coming off.
I made my way back to the mouth of the cave to wait for Puck and Roman and the rest of the army. The party was still going strong, but I I sat down and tucked my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them to wait. One of the revelers set a blanket down on me and, when I looked up, I was surprised to see Grant, the bartender from Kingsville smiling down at me.
“Hey, how’s it going?” he asked, handing me a drink. I think I loved this man.
“Pretty bad.”
“You saved the king as you set out to do.” he reminded me. Like I could forget. I downed my drink. It was fruity and strong, burning all the way down my throat and warming up my insides.
“Roman is dead.”
“Oh man.” He slumped down beside me the smile sliding off his face. “I’m so sorry, Lex.”
My glass was empty, but luckily Grant waved to someone and they brought me a refill. Yup, I loved this man, and he didn’t even know it.
I took another big gulp before I spoke again. “I’m going to bring him back,” I said, but my voice didn’t sound as sure as the last time I had said it. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I’m going to--” a sob wracked my body, cutting off my words. I chugged the rest of my drink.
Grant flung his arm over my shoulder.
“Of course, you will. You have a shit ton of magic now, right? They are all calling you queen.” He gave me a wicked grin. “Maybe you could bring him back a bit more fun. He was kind of boring.”
I laughed despite the situation. That second drink had gone to my head and I couldn’t find it in me to be angry. The last 24 hours had nearly burned me out and I needed to check out for a while. By the time the time my third glass was empty, I found it hard to care about anything.
The music was still playing, so I stood up, wobbled a bit and grabbed Grant's hand. We made our way to the middle of a group of partiers and started moving to the music. Grant twirled me around and dipped me low. I laughed and sang along to the songs they sang even though I didn’t know most of them. I made up the words and ignored the strange looks I got from people. Screw them. I saved their king and this was a party. The firelight was enough to see by and the crowds weren’t even beginning to thin. The music of this land was so pure and upbeat, it begged for you to join in. I stopped to get another drink just as Puck came out of the cave with Aldridge and Roman.
It was like a splash of cold water on my face. Roman’s skin was nearly translucent now. The smile fell from my face as I remembered I had lost him and had no way to bring him back. I had been dancing and drinking while Roman lay there dead.
My hands started shaking, and when I looked down at them, I saw that the rot had crept up to my wrists. I just stared at them, turning them over and back. The decay was consuming me.
Puck’s steely hands grabbed my wrists and raised them to the moonlight.
“What happened?” he asked glaring at me like it was my fault.
“I don’t know,” I said, yanking my hands back and tucking them in my pockets.
“This is serious, Lex.”
I scowled at him. “You think I don’t know that? I sucked in evil on that mountaintop, Puck. Now I have no magic, I’
m rotting from the inside out and I can’t bring Roman back! Do you have a solution?”
He didn’t reply.
“Didn’t think so. How about you stop staring at me like this is something I wanted and get me the fuck home so I can talk to someone who maybe does have an answer.”
He bowed and then turned on his heel and walked back to where the rest of the hunters, shifters, elves and unicorns were coming out of the cave entrance. I had no idea how they all got back. They must have doubled up on the unicorns.
I watched as he whispered to Armond, whose eyes scanned the crowd until they landed on me. I saw a flash of fear. He knew something and I wasn’t going to like it.
Armond made his way around the crowd. I felt his eyes on me the whole time, but I didn’t meet them until he was standing in front of me. Even then, I kept my eyes on his chest until he reached out a hand and raised my chin to make me look at him.
“Let me see,” he said softly. He was mere inches from me; so close I could tip forward into his arms and stay there again for an eternity. I could ignore all my problems and leave them to someone else. Instead, I pulled my hands out of my pockets and raised them into the dim light.
He sucked air through his teeth, making a hollow sound.
“I have no magic.”
He wrapped me up in his arms and held me close to him.
“We will figure it out, ok, Lex. Don’t go away on me. Please?”
“What are you talking about?” That’s when the pieces fit together. I was self-destructing like I did before I met Armond and Luke. Cut off from my magic. I was cut off from my bonded too. I had no one to keep me grounded and no magic to ground myself.
“Shit,” I muttered. The mood swings, the lost time, it all made sense now. I needed to get my magic back not just to save Roman, but to save myself as well. I was going to fall back into a very dark place.
“Thank you,” Aldridge said from a makeshift podium. His voice was shaky and one of the soldiers from the king’s army held him upright, but the crowd hushed and listened. “I won’t speak long, but I wanted to thank you all for being here and Queen Lex for coming to rescue me.” He gave me a crooked grin and I gave him one back. I didn’t know Aldridge well. Besides our trip across the shifter land, we hadn’t spent any time together, but I knew enough to know he would be a good king.
“I want to thank the elves and unicorns for their efforts and sacrifices.” He frowned and the crowd murmured condolences before he continued. “I would like all the shifters of this world to reunite now that the witch is dead and I ask everyone here today to help me in welcoming them back into our land. We will have a party in Kingsville once everything has been repaired. Thank you.”
The crowd exploded in cheers and the music started up again as the people of the world celebrated.
Aldridge locked eyes with me one last time and nodded before he was helped down off the stage and disappeared into the writhing crowd.
The hunters had set up camp on the edge of the clearing and I crawled into a tent. It wasn’t my tent, but I didn’t care. Daisy found me a few minutes later and waddled inside, but waited at the door.
I lifted the corner of the blanket and he quacked softly before wiggling in beside me under the blanket like a silly quacking mole.
“I’m sorry. I’ll try to keep it together,” I said cuddling into his feathers.
He gently booped my nose, making me laugh. The silly duck always made me feel better. He had become a touch stone and I was thankful for the day he waddled onto that table and stole that green bean from my plate. “Where would I be without you, Daisy?” He quacked sleepily and tucked his beak under the blankets.
I mostly tossed and turned the rest of the night, but finally managed to fall asleep for a little while.
Red. Everything was red. The walls. The floor. The ceiling was sprayed like an abstract painting. As I crept down the hall, there was no sound except the thrum of my heart racing in my ears. It pounded out a staccato that was much too fast or maybe my feet moved much too slow. As I rounded the final corner, a figure hovered over another. The man looked up at me except his eyes matched the walls and the floors and he stood over my father’s lifeless body like a spider over a fly. The vampire rose, smirked, and said “timekeeper.” His bloodstained teeth flashed in the low light as he suddenly appeared right in front of me.
I woke up screaming in a cold sweat, my heart pounding in my throat. My eyes flew open in time to watch Daisy transform into a dragon, destroying the tent which gave me an excellent view as all the unicorns and wolves in the camp shifted and the hunters and elves came running, their swords unsheathed. They couldn’t slay this demon though, because he was all in my mind. I had already killed the monster who slaughtered my whole family and hadn’t had a single nightmare since.
Until now.
“I’m sorry,” I called to the army and the shifters. “It was just a nightmare.”
“Oh, shit, Lex,” Armond muttered. He was the only one here who had been around during the time I had nightmares. I thought when he helped me kill Joshua we had ended my bad dreams for good.
This was the last thing I needed right now. I just wanted to curl up with Roman and stay there forever.
“Can we just go home?” I muttered. Armond was helping Daisy out from under the ruined tent as the silly duck had shifted back and was hopping around and flapping his wings to try and free himself from the canvas material.
“Yeah, let’s go,” Puck said from behind me. “Enough of this. I can’t sleep anyway.”
I wanted to destroy the doorway before we left the area, but with no magic, I had to leave it. I would have to hope that the people stayed away from it and out of that godforsaken land. Personally, I never wanted to go back there.
Puck picked me up and shifted so I was astride him, but didn’t start racing away like he usually did when he unceremoniously grabbed me. He just stood and waited for the rest of the crew to get their things gathered. We were leaving most of the elves and unicorns behind as they didn’t need to come racing through the early hours with us, but a few of the other unicorns volunteered to travel with us so we could move faster than on foot.
Roman was bound to the back of another unicorn and the sight made me sick. He was paler than before and his skin looked thinner, like it might tear.
Grant said goodbye as did Clive and Jazzy who were going to stay behind and solidify relations with the unicorns.
Ready to go, Daisy surprised me by flapping down in front of me and curling up on Pucks withers. He hadn’t once tried to ride with me while I was on Puck’s back, but I had kept him up most of the night and his sleepy eyes said he wasn’t happy about it.
The decay covered nearly to my elbows at this point, but luckily, I had a sweater, and I pulled my hands into the sleeves before wrapping them up in Puck's mane. I didn’t want the constant reminder.
I scooted forward as we got moving so I could balance Daisy and make sure he didn’t tip off and then everything was a blur. The still shadowy landscape flew past as we raced towards the rising sun and hopefully some answers. The longer Roman was dead, the less hope I had that I would be able to bring him back. I had a fleeting thought that I should just let him go as I peered back at him, careful not to let go of Puck's mane.
The intense speed whisked away my tears before I had the chance to wipe them away. I took a deep breath and forced the thought out. I was not going to let the darkness take over and I didn’t need magic to keep me grounded. I was going to prove to Roman that his faith in me was not misplaced. For all the times he stuck by me even when I made questionable decisions, I would not fail him now. I forced myself to keep my eyes forward as we travelled. The solution was not behind me so it had to be in front.
By mid-day my ass was sore and my fingers were numb from being twisted in Puck’s mane. We stopped at a stream and I slid off Puck’s back. My knees gave out and I collapsed to the ground. Puck shifted back into a jerk human and snorted a laugh at
me. Then he walked over and gently untied Roman, taking him off the back of the other unicorn.
Puck looked at me like he was going to bring Roman over, but I shook my head once and he turned and laid him in the shade of a tree. With the blanket that swaddled him, he covered Roman’s stark white face.
I stood up on shaky legs as Armond walked over and slid his arm around my back to steady me, and we walked to the small river.
Daisy didn’t bother to wait for the rest of us to get a drink before he took a running leap into the water and began flapping around.
“Daisy, you’re making the water murky,” I complained. “I don’t want to drink your dirt.”
He just quacked loudly in offence and moved downstream a bit to continue his flapping shenanigans.
I had a few mouthfuls of the cold water before laying on my back to rest on the shore. The sun shining through my closed eyelids reminded me of homeland. Sitting in the grass and waiting to find my magic beneath the tall trees in the meadow. I missed Evan and Luke. Tears spilled out through my closed eyes and rolled down the sides of my face, despite my best efforts. A heavy weight landed on my chest and I opened my eyes to Daisy peering directly down at me.
“Jesus, Daisy, I am not a nest. Get off my chest.” He bit my nose, hard. I waved my hand at him and he backed up a step, his heavy feet hurt.
“What is wrong with you?” I asked him angrily. He had occasionally bit me when he was feeling grumpy, but this was an awful lot of violence from my feathered friend.
He quacked, hopped off and grabbed my hand in his beak and pulled on it.
“Daisy, what the hell?”
By now Armond and Puck had come over too.
“Why is he doing that?” Armond asked.
“I don’t know. Ever since we came down off the mountain, he has been kind of weird. Maybe he has post-traumatic stress.”
Then he wasn’t a duck anymore. He was a dragon with smoke curling up from his nose. His clawed hand reached over and plucked my whole body off the ground and set me on my feet. He lowered his body beside mine, sliding his neck along the ground like an invitation.