Xavier roughly clears his throat, patting her gently on her head. “I do. Why don’t we go and get our stuff, okay?”
“Sure.” She lifts her hand to wave. “Bye, Ms. Naomi. Bye, Hadley.”
Charlotte is Charlie?
Charlotte is Charlie.
The same little girl I knew years prior. The very one that said bye to Hadley. She knows her. She knows X. This is wrong on so many levels.
I pull my focus back to Hadley. “You know Xavier?”
Hadley’s blue eyes widen as she glances between us. “I do.”
Something hits me square in the stomach. “Was this a set-up?”
She lets out a gasp, her hand going to her chest. “No, I didn’t—wouldn’t do that.”
“Because it seems like one.” I rush to stand, gathering my bag in my arms.
“Naomi, I had no clue you knew X.”
“Bye, Hadley.” I glance over my shoulder to find Charlotte watching my every move. And as much as I don’t want to stomp out, as much as that girl’s eyes beg me to stay, I can’t. If I stay, the feelings bubbling out may take on a life of their own.
I sprint out the door, a tangled mess of emotions, fumbling for the keys to my dad’s truck, when another set of footsteps echo against the pavement.
“Jesus, Naomi, wait.” His deep voice bounces off the brick of the buildings.
My whole body’s in shock, but I refuse to offer him one glance. Because that single gaze will burn my resolve to ash. “What do you want?”
“I couldn’t help but overhear what you said to Hadley. I just want you to know she didn’t know who you were to me. I mean, she’s in my group, so she knows I feel for someone younger, but she would have no clue you’re my Naomi.”
I grab ahold of the door, my entire arm shaking. I’m so close to being out of here, away from him, and all that reminds me of him. “Great. By the way, I was never your Naomi.”
“Don’t take it out on them.”
I don’t know if he means Charlie, or Hadley, or Reed, or both, or all, but I don’t have it in me to ask. “Fine.”
“Act like a grownup and look at me.”
I turn on my heel—I can’t help it. I don’t know how to stop his words from lacerating my heart, heating my face with anger, or filling my body with rage. “Me? I am being a grownup. That’s why I’m leaving. Nothing needs to be said. This is me being a damn adult.”
“No, it’s not. You’re running away.”
“Running? That’s rich coming from you. Weren’t you the one who told me to go? Or were they just words to you, like everything else you said and did that whole summer?”
X drags his fingers through his dark hair. “No, I didn’t. Naomi, all I wanted was for you to live, and that wouldn’t have happened if you were stuck here with me.”
“I certainly lived. Now excuse me, I have to get back home.”
I did live. Just with my brain and not my heart.
His hand comes up to my shoulder—his touch was always my biggest weakness. Time apart and space away didn’t lessen the effect. Tingles spread throughout my body. X steps closer to me before turning me back to face him. “I just want to help.” His strong voice speaks, but all I can do is stare at his lips.
I’m breathless, and my steps falter as he moves closer, pushing me back against the truck.
“I still think about you. All the time. You. Only you. I don’t know how to stop it.” The uncertainty in his voice is palpable as he stares at me through his half-closed lids.
Through me.
Into me.
I involuntary lick my own lips, my chest heaving rapidly. His eyes trail down my face, down my neck, down to my chest and stops there. I know when he sees it; his breath catches just slightly. “You still wear it.”
Not a question, considering it’s obviously right in front of him. Xavier bends down, his breath hot against my ear. “Center.” He gathers the chain in his hand, the ring sliding up with each movement. Memories of the day he gave it to me right before I left, the very night he told me the love I had for him wasn’t given back, rushes back to me.
“Please.” I don’t know what I’m begging for. Him to stop, him to go, him to touch me more. I don’t know. I never knew what I needed when I was near him. Only that I continuously needed—need—more of X.
Thought.
Reason.
Willpower.
Gone.
Vanished.
I don’t know who moves first. When his hands cup my jaw and bring me to him, I know the war to stay away has just begun—one simple, single touch. His lips meet mine, mine to his. My hands wrap around his neck, playing with the strands of his hair between my fingers. This kiss sent endorphins on a determined drive straight into my heart.
It feels like hours. We stay locked in each other’s embrace until the sound of honking breaks us apart. I drop my hands from his, pushing X off me. My breathing coming in broken spurts. “Just leave.” My lips are still scorched from his touch.
He gathers a piece of my hair that has escaped. “I can’t do that. Not anymore.”
“You don’t have a choice.” It’s a vow, my choice for myself, yet the words choke me.
“This time I do.”
“Leave.”
“Or what?”
I don’t respond with my words; they won’t get through to him. Not the way his armor shields his stubbornness. I answer him with a smack across the face. Caught off guard by my action, he offers just enough for me to break away to the safety of the truck.
As soon as I hit the gas pedal, I glance in the rearview mirror with the palm of my hand still stinging from the slap. And X’s still standing there, with his hand placed right where I hit him. A tiny piece of me feels pride—I did something I’ve dreamed of since the moment he shook his head at Lock.
Another piece—a slightly smaller one—is broken, because his taste will never grace my lips again. For my sanity, I can’t let it. He’s the war that rages through me. Pouring my heart out to him a second time—and the goodbye that will undoubtedly follow—will not only devastate me again this time…it will paralyze me.
“Ms. Naomi?” Her voice drifts across the studio.
I take a deep breath before speaking. “Yes, Charlie?”
A small grin plays on her face. “I like that you call me that. Only my Pops and his friends call me that. Did my Pops do something to you?”
I glance down at her and kick myself for not seeing the resemblance earlier. Charlie has his smile, those eyes I got lost in, his chin. “No, just history. Boring grownup stuff.”
Charlie doesn’t need to know about the summer we shared.
She nods, slowly pulling her knees up to her chest.
I bend down, kneeling right in front of her. “Hey now, what’s with the long face?”
“Nothing. My mom won’t make it to the mothers’ showcase next week. Her and my stepdad are going out of town.”
“For what?”
Her eyes dance to and from the door to me. “Can you keep a secret?”
Folding my legs on the floor, I get comfortable sitting with her. “I can.”
“I heard them say they want to move, that they’re taking me away from this town. If that happens, I won’t see my Pops anymore.”
Raising my brows, I exclaim, “What?”
“They said if we move, they get paid more.”
Oh shit. My mind races. This is them wanting more out of X. I just know it. “Honey, your Pops wouldn’t let them take you. You know that, right?”
“I know, but Mom says that’s what she’s going to do regardless. I heard her tell some of her friends that Pops is just some crackhead that never wanted me to begin with. That’s not true, though…right? You would know since you knew him. Please tell me that’s not true.”
I place my hand around hers and quirk my left eyebrow. “Charlie, I knew your father a long time ago—a long time ago—and he always wanted you.” Blowing out a breath, I continue. “I can
talk to him about it if you want?” For Charlie, I would—I’d suck up my pride and give her the family she deserves.
What’s best for her.
A little peek of a grin pulls on her mouth. “Will you please? But not tell him this part of it. Maybe something about me staying with him. I don’t… If someone’s going to keep me, I want it to be my real dad.”
And there she goes, tugging on my heart strings again.
My hands shake as I drop my phone back to my bed. This shouldn’t be so hard. I mean, calling someone I’m not exactly fond of, for an eleven-year-old girl, shouldn’t make me want to run to the nearest bar and guzzle all the liquor they have on the shelves to calm me down.
I fall onto my bed, arms out, heart beating a crazy rhythm.
I can do this. Deep breath in as I scroll through my contacts, exhale as I press call.
One ring, two rings, three rings. I swear, if I went through all this for him not to answer, I’m going to kill him. Fourth ring and his heavy voice comes through the line. “Naomi?”
I hate how he breathlessly speaks my name—every time. My body calls to the way he says it. But I hate how he still has my number programmed in his phone even more. Because that means he’s always had it at his fingertips to call me over the years.
Yet he never did.
“Xavier.”
“I’m glad you called. I was going to, but…” he rushes out.
“I didn’t call to talk about us. That ship has sailed. Charlie was at dance today.”
This derails his original train of thought. “And?”
“She looked really sad after class, so I asked her what was wrong. You know she gets this little look when she’s upset…I knew right away.” Jesus, now I’m rambling.
“Can I have the CliffsNotes version of this? You got me all nervous about my daughter.”
“Yep, sorry.” I got this. I can do this. For her. “She overheard Zoey talking about moving, and that you are nothing but a crackhead who didn’t want her.”
Oh shit, I really just said that out loud.
“She did what?” X’s voice hitches at the end.
“Listen, this is really hard to tell you.” I take a deep breath and then just let the truth fly out. “Zoey wants to take Charlie from you. They’re looking at houses a few towns over next week while you have her.”
“Fuck. Where are you?”
“My house?”
“Good, I’m coming over. I want to know everything.”
“I told you everything. I don’t know anything else. Do not come over.”
Not my house. Not here.
“Naomi, I’m coming over.”
“No, you aren’t. I told you everything I know. Now it’s up to you to do what you want with the information. I’m out of it.”
It’s off my chest now—that’s what matters.
“You are far from out of it.”
“Sure.”
He continues to talk, but I’ve had enough and swipe our conversation to an end. I said my piece for Charlie’s sake, and that’s more than enough. It’s now in his hands where it belonged in the first place.
Chapter 5
Xavier
I pull the phone from my ear, the anger raking over my body like hot coals. I’m furious at Naomi for hanging up on me, Zoey for pulling this shit, and me for being a stupid ass and not seeing what was going on before now.
It has to stop…all of this. The fucking games with every damn one of them. After grabbing my keys off the counter, I get into my truck before I can talk myself out of it. Fuck it all.
Time seems to float by. First I tried Zoey’s house, pounding on her door and calling her phone over and over, but she wasn’t home. Never is. Probably spending my money on shit that has nothing to do with my daughter.
Now, I’m walking up to the house I made a vow to never return to again. I rap my knuckles on the door. She will answer all my questions. I’ll demand them.
She peeks through the door. “X, what the hell?”
“You wanted to hang up on me, this is what you get.” I want to say more to her, be angry for what she did, but I can’t. She told me something I’m grateful for. A slight tilt of her head ruins all my thoughts of interrogating her, because I trust her when she says she told me everything.
“What do you want?”
I push open the door, and her mouth falls in surprise. “Not a goddamn clue. But this shit is too much to ignore. I can’t run away from this feeling we had anymore.”
A rush of color creeps up her neck. “I never ran. And running isn’t what you did when it came to us. You pushed me.”
“I did what was best for you. I won’t apologize for that.”
Never will.
“I didn’t ask for you to do what was best for me, and I didn’t ask for an apology, either. Now please, leave my house.” Naomi cocks her head.
“Tell me you don’t feel this.”
She lets out an arrogant laugh but doesn’t deny it. One step closer.
“Tell me, and I’ll leave.”
“Really? That’s all it takes?”
Another step. “All it ever takes. But I know you won’t lie.”
She never could lie; her body always gives the truth away.
“You don’t know me anymore.”
Another step closer to the hall of stairs, our bodies inches from each other as she falls to the steps. “Tell me you aren’t thinking about the way my lips feel on your skin.”
“Not one time,” she says with a bitter edge to her tone as her chest heaves. Her eyes never leave mine.
I lower my head to the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. “You can try to lie all you want, but I won’t. The day in the parking lot—I went home hard as a rock. Nothing I did would help it. My cock wanted you—only you. Not a fucking replacement. You.” I place my lips softly on her neck, her pulse thrumming against me.
“Fuck you,” she breathes out, glaring at me, the slight movement of her hips to mine tells me she means that literally.
My cock presses against the zipper of my jeans, begging to come out. “I can do that, but only if that’s what you truly want.”
Her body is heavy with lust while she blinks slowly. “I hate you,” Naomi says with all her truth behind it.
“I know.” And I do, I know this is true. She hates me, yet she wants me at the same time. Her body’s fighting with her mind, but that won’t stop this from happening. Won’t stop me from proving to her that this time we can make it work. And the only way I know to show her is with my body, considering my mind has no fight left.
My mouth goes to hers, and something in her breaks. Naomi grasps the hem of my shirt, her fingers pawing at the top of my jeans. “I fucking hate what you make me feel so much—too much.”
“I know.” It’s the only two words I can say. Every time her gaze meets mine, my heart turns over. Her hair spreads out over the stairs, her few freckles still spattered over her cheeks. If she even knew what I would do for her.
If only.
I raise an eyebrow in question—if she wants me to stop, I wasn’t lying. I will. But she nods and her fingers graze my stomach, causing my breath to catch as she slowly unzips my pants. One touch, one tick of my heart, and she’s giving me the all-clear to take it. To make her mine. If only for this moment.
I rip her T-shirt over her head, her fucking tits pouring out of the lace of her bra, her hair giving her the softness I love. “Fuck, how the hell did you get even better?” I unhook her bra with my fingers, and then swirl my tongue around her nipple the instant it’s exposed, taking her piercing between my teeth. Naomi moves frantically against me, her eyes closed, mouth slightly open. She’s close, so close. Her body aches for my touch. I rip her leggings down and groan out loud at the fact she doesn’t have any underwear on. I spread her apart, and with every swipe of my fingers, her clit becomes wetter. My heart hammers in my chest—she’s even better than the memories I stored of her.
“This what
you want?” I question as soon as my finger dips inside her.
Naomi arches her back, too busy lost in lust to answer. Her grip tightens on me with each movement I give her.
“You can’t fight this—it’s right. Always has been,” I whisper. My breath is hot against her skin before I trail kisses down her neck.
She smacks a hand over my mouth. “Don’t ruin this with useless words. I don’t want slow and sweet.” Naomi growls as she pushes my jeans down, gripping my dick with her palm and playing with the Prince Albert piercing at the top.
“Tell me what you want then.”
She jerks the tip of my dick. “Fuck me just like I hate you. Hard and rough.”
“Your wish is my mother fucking command.”
In one swift movement, I slide into her, pushing myself farther ‘til the piercing—where the top of my shaft meets my pubic bone—abrades against her clit in just the right spot.
“Harder, X. Fucking harder.” Need chokes her voice while her legs wrap around my waist.
I slam in deeper—harder—rougher—her fingers claw at my skin, and her heels dig into my back each time I thrust.
Her heat surrounds me, burning me, the nearness making my senses spin. The rush of breaths she takes, the heavy beat of her heart against mine, her body trembling beneath me…is like fucking heaven. Naomi drops her head onto my shoulder, and the second she starts to tighten around me, her teeth latch onto me, throwing my orgasm into a tailspin.
I erupt inside her.
It’s not until I soften, and she drops her legs away from me, that I realize I’ve made a grave mistake.
No condom.
Naomi’s body goes rigid as she slowly pulls herself up and stares between her legs then turns her icy glare at me. “That was my goodbye, and the closure you didn’t grant me last time.”
“Wait.” I shake my head. I just need more time. One minute, one second. One of something. If I had that, if she gave me that, I could make her understand what I did was best for her.
“No, there’s nothing left to talk about. My father will be home soon.” Naomi slams the door shut again on any conversation between us.
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