“I love you. That I do know. It’s just a lot of stuff going on in my head. Custody battle, getting you back in my life, everything.”
That’s the problem. I love him, too. I give him my heart and soul, and he crushes my plans. He gave me no other options. I want to be more than words. More than love. More than everything. I want to be the action.
“And, X, I understand that. That’s why when you said you needed space to think, I gave it to you.”
All the time in the world—I gave it to him. And more.
“Did you not hear me?”
“No, I heard you. It was loud and clear. On the other hand, it was unspoken.”
“I love you, Naomi.”
“And I love you, too. That hasn’t changed. But like you said, right now, you need to figure your shit out. If we can work it all out after you do, then great. I hope you find what you’re looking for in the process.”
“It’s you I’m looking for.”
I wish that were the truth.
“Maybe, maybe not. That’s why you needed your space, and I’m giving it to you. I have to go. My flight is going to leave, and I’m going to be on it.”
I need this now.
“This isn’t how I thought coming here would end.”
“How did you think it would end, X? By me throwing my plans away for you, then the next fight we have you want more time? Every time we have a disagreement, you bail—for days, weeks—whatever you see fit. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. This is what I worked for, and I’m not going to give that up for anyone.”
“Call me when you land, please.”
“I’ll text you.” I can’t hear his voice anymore, not when I’ll be miles away. Not when the space he so desperately wanted is still such a need for him.
I stare at the reflection in the mirror. This isn’t me. I hadn’t worn makeup the whole time I was home, didn’t take a curler to my hair even once. Now the person staring at me is head to toe glam.
“Stop trying to analyze yourself. You look great. I wouldn’t let you leave this place a mess,” Tara says.
“I know I do. It just feels strange, that’s all.”
Abnormal.
Odd.
Not me.
“At least the award show is here this time.”
I stare at Tara through the mirror, giving her a small grin. She would find the good in this. I need that good tonight. Maybe some of her confidence as well.
“I know, and I’ve gotten sleep this time. And I took your advice and not a single caffeinated beverage today, either.” Even if my head is screaming at me for the pick-me-up. I won’t take the chance for a failure on the red carpet this time around.
“Do you think your date will be here soon?”
“I don’t have a date.”
I made it crystal clear to her, the person’s arm I will be on tonight is not my date, and still, she continues to goad me.
“Yes, you do.”
“Dylan is not my date.” Not even remotely close.
“Well, that’s what they’re calling it.”
They being the magazines, and they can call it whatever the hell they want, but it still doesn’t mean anything more than having someone to walk the red carpet with, and having an arm just in case I do pass out again.
That’s it.
Right on cue, the bell to the suite rings for my non-date to be here.
“I’ll get it. Hurry up or we’ll be late.” Tara’s face is serious as she walks out of the bedroom.
* * *
Stepping into the living room, I ask, “Do you think…” I stand in shock, part of me thought Xavier would come, but another part knew he wouldn’t. Not after where we left off on the floor of the airport. Although, having Callum, his best friend, in my room stuns me.
It’s too close to him and sparks something in my heart. A spark I want to extinguish.
He clears his throat, holding a huge bouquet of deep red roses in his hand. “Sorry for just showing up unannounced, and I know I’m not the person you want to see here. But Xavier wanted me to give you these and to tell you he was going to come, but Charlie got sick.”
And Charlie sick means daddy time. Understandable. And oddly, I’m not even the slightest bit upset he put her first.
“Thank you,” I say, taking the flowers from him.
Callum nods. “He has a card in there as well. Wanted me to tell you he picked the flowers out himself—the shithead had made me fly with them on my lap, too. Can’t really hate on it. Those things got me laid on the flight—the lady next to me thought it was sweet I would do it for my friend.” He tilts his chin, and his smile is laced with arrogance.
“Thank you...I think.”
“I can see your wheels turning. You want to say anything else?”
I’ve never been in the same room with Callum. X always kept us separate, but this isn’t what I pictured Xavier’s best friend to be like. Not so open. Blunt, really.
“Are you always this…”
“Asshole?”
“I was going to put it nicer. But we can go with asshole.”
“I am. A huge ass. Read the note. I have to get going on my own date. And before you ask, yes, it’s a different one than the girl on the plane. I’m a man whore, what can I say? Have fun. Good luck on your nomination and break a leg on the performance.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
If I don’t win, it will not break my heart.
Taking a deep breath, I pluck the letter from the roses.
Naomi,
I’m only good at putting my words out in a song so excuse this not being poetic, but I know it needed to be said.
I wish I could be there. I wish I could see you shining like the star you were born to be. I wish I could hug you and take away all the nerves—I’m sure you are a ball of them. But I am there in spirit. Please tell me you believe that.
I know we both agreed at the airport that the time apart is for the best. But these weeks apart with only texts are too hard for me. I need your voice when I go to bed, I need you to make this work. Please let me in. I can’t live like this…being separate anymore.
I will be watching you tonight with the biggest smile on my face. I’m proud of how far you’ve come and grown.
I know you’re nervous with what happened the last time. But prove to the world you can do it, that you deserve to be there. That you, Naomi Minter, are meant to stay there. Because you are better than any of us.
I have the feeling you will win, so I hope you have your speech handy in that sexy dress of yours.
Break a leg. Not a real one though.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
Yours forever,
X
My fingers become numb as my brain takes in the last letter, his messy handwriting right in front of me, and a faint hint of his cologne still lingers on the paper. My breathing becomes shallow. I can no longer hold onto the note and drop the letter to the ground.
I hate he did this tonight.
I love that he did this tonight.
I’m going hate it and love it forever. Brain and heart are at war for the one person who took so much space in each of them.
I can’t help but want him near me, no matter if we can make us work out. But want and need aren’t the same things, and one isn’t what’s best for the heart. If I learned anything through our journey, that’s it.
“Don’t you dare let him get inside your head now. If you cry, it will ruin the makeup, then we’ll be late. Then I will have to play fixer again. People will start talking about you doing drugs again. See? That’s the domino effect of what will happen if you let him get to you. So, Naomi, you just stop. You can think about him after tonight. Okay?”
“It wasn’t that…maybe…I’ll be fine. No tears tonight.” I promise.
At least not in front of people before I go to walk the red carpet and cameras capture my every movement. I’ll save it for tonight, sans makeup, in the comfort of my own b
ed. Not my own bed, because I’m not sure I even have one of those anymore, but the one at the hotel.
Tara has the letter in her fingers, her focus on that. “That fucker does have a way with words.”
Xavier does, always has. That’s the problem. Even if he thinks he can only express his feelings through lyrics, the letter proves otherwise.
I simply nod. “I’ll be right out, just have to get something out of my bag.” Rushing through the room, I search for the one thing I know I will need tonight in my makeup bag. And the second my fingers touch it, I know everything will be just right.
Dylan stands so close to me that our shoulders graze each other. His nerves match mine, causing us to tremble in unison. “Wish we could have practiced this one more time.” His face is pale and mirrors the white of his shirt.
“We’ve got this.” We practiced it twelve times. Each time was fine.
I know I have this; however, I’m not so sure about him as he shivers with nervous energy. But I’ll go with the lie if that makes him feel any better. I only wish I had someone to lie to me.
“How are you so calm?”
“I don’t know.” I do. But that’s my secret. It’s the ring—my center—right back on my thumb. It’s right there. Where it’s meant to be. Just for tonight to give me the strength to get through this.
“Performing their hit single ‘Love Fly,’ Dylan Harris and Naomi Minter.”
The lights start flashing and the smoke rises from the ground, swallowing us whole. The band in the background starts the music. Slow and perfect as the curtain rises, welcoming us to the crowd.
I smile over to Dylan—it’s now or never.
And now it is.
Chapter 19
Xavier
I stare at the TV, my nerves still shattered by Naomi’s performance, her fucking gut-wrenching, soul-searching, perfect piece. For three minutes, her entire body—mind—became the song. She felt the words more than ever before. Naomi encompassed the lyrics. She was one in the same. If she had any apprehension, I couldn’t see it. Dylan, on the other hand, was a hot mess. But Naomi carried them both. I get it, she has to be true to who she is. Or nothing else matters, and this matters.
Charlie stirs next to me, her nose bright red from blowing. “Naomi nailed it. I can’t wait to call her tonight. I wonder if she can get me something signed by Dylan. Do you think she can? I hope she can.”
In all my daughter’s crazy ramblings that went on for miles, I just got one lone thing from them. One important bit of information she had neglected to mention to me.
“You talk to Naomi?” I try to keep my voice level so she doesn’t see what their communication does to me.
Rips me open.
It shouldn’t feel like I am being cheated on. Not at all. Charlie loves Naomi and respects her. I would never ask them to stop speaking, but they’ve continued their relationship when ours is at a standstill, and that’s a tough pill to swallow. It’s rejection and a pill I should accept after the things I’ve done to create this rift between us.
“Yep. Why wouldn’t I? Naomi said I could always call her, so I do. We talk like maybe once a day. I text her, too. Maybe try if it’s that big of a deal.” All of Charlie’s emotions about what I should be doing fall from her voice.
This is news to me, yet I’m not stunned. No matter how we ended—or didn’t end—things, Naomi would never stop her communication with Charlie. She doesn’t have it in her.
It’s fair.
It’s loving.
It’s Naomi.
“Do you think they will win best duet? I think they should totally win. If not, it’s bull.”
“Maybe.” I think they will, their voices fit like a key in the door, that’s why the label picked Naomi for the song.
But it disgusts me to think about her shining next to someone other than me. I want her to win with me. Me next to her.
If only.
It’s a mistake I can’t wash away.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, placing my hand on her forehead to check for a fever. I love being a father, but the germs kids get, I could do without. More often than not, those fuckers ruin parents’ plans. Like ruining my plans to surprise Naomi.
It’s probably for the best. We should be in a better place before I spring being her date on her. Doesn’t make seeing her walk the red carpet with that pretty boy any easier.
“All right. My throat still hurts, but the medicine seems to have kicked in.”
“Good.”
“Here it is.” Charlie grabs the remote, turning the volume up so loud I’m sure it will burst the speakers on the television. And I still don’t care.
“For Best Duet…” We both become still as they start to announce the nominees. “And last but not least, Naomi Minter and Dylan Harris for ‘Love Fly.’ Written by Xavier Scott, produced by Led Davis.” They give a few seconds of the music video, and my heart leaps when I see them side by side as the camera zooms in on them. Dylan’s sitting in the seat with his fucking arm thrown over her shoulder.
I want to kill him for touching her.
The announcers go back and forth with laughs, but all I can do is stare at that arm over Naomi’s shoulder.
Maybe gut him. Gut sounds better. Much, much better.
“Love Fly” booms through the speakers, and the crowd goes crazy.
Naomi stands, her mouth open in shock as Dylan moves his arm from her shoulder to her palm, pulling her with him to the stage.
I’m going to fillet him like a fish, then hide him in the back yard. Rage is boiling over. Anger over seeing him with her. But the wrath isn’t over him. But over me being a coward and not telling Naomi the truth about what I am going through.
Dylan runs his hands over his styled hair before clutching the award and keeping his everlasting hold on Naomi. “Wow, this is a shock. I didn’t even prepare a speech. So…I’m going to go with what’s in my heart. With the frenzy surrounding this song, it means even more to have everyone’s support. Last but not least, thank you to my hot-as-sin co-singer. Doesn’t she look smoking tonight?” Dylan’s smile drips with nastiness as he eyes Naomi’s body.
I wish if I smashed my television it would crush him.
Naomi moves closer, her body turning inward. She’s not used to this kind of attention, and she hates every second on the stage right now. But she better get used to the way the music world loves her.
“Thanks, Dylan, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving the song as much as I love singing it. You certainly made this small town girl’s dream come true. Thank you to Xavier Scott for writing a song that pulls so many emotions from so many people. Thank you to Dylan for letting me hop on this wild ride. I love you all.”
“Pops. Is that you? I mean, there isn’t another Xavier Scott, right?”
Clearing my throat, I admit, “It’s me, honey.”
“Why didn’t you go to the awards then? It was your song. That seems stupid to have them get all the credit and you get nothing.”
“I don’t write my music for the credit; if I do, then I’m in the business for the wrong reason. And that’s not the way they work, either. Yes, my lyrics made the song, but they made it music.”
“But you should be there. With her. It’s not fair, Pops. None of this is fair. Not to you or them.”
“Life isn’t fair, honey. It’s the way it is. But don’t worry, I’ll get there again.”
I will. Next year I will be there. Bet money on it.
Charlie settles into my side. “I miss her.”
“Me too, honey. Me too.”
The clock above the television turns to twelve. I need to hear her after-awards interview. I have to know what she says about her win. It’s becoming an obsession to hear her voice.
I don’t blink as they bring Naomi in the makeshift interview room they have set-up just for award shows. She changed into a sleek black dress, and now her hair is piled in a mess on the top of her head. She looks sexy as always,
but I know the dress she had on for the awards show was killing her to be in.
“Naomi. How are you doing tonight?”
Naomi smiles slightly, fidgeting in her seat. “Good, in shock really, but good. Great, actually.”
“Congratulations on your win.” The same shithead that got in her face on the red carpet last time is now the one interviewing her.
Fucking Matt. He and Dylan deserve each other. I bet they both still wet the bed. Next year, when I have pull, I’ll have him out. For now, Naomi still has to deal with him. But I’ll be a savior once I’m down the road in my head where space between us isn’t a necessity.
“Thank you.”
“Will there be any more duets with anyone else, or will there be a chance for some solo action from you? You have a one-of-a-kind voice.”
“Mmm…I’m not sure right now if there will be any more duets coming from me. I have a new show opening next week, and right now, that has all my attention. And going solo doesn’t really pique my interest. But who knows, things are always changing, so don’t count me out or call me a one-hit wonder.”
“That’s interesting you say that now.”
“Now? Why is that interesting?”
“Glad you asked. We got some video of a duet with you and Xavier Scott.”
A video pulls up from our time in the mountains. We’re both sitting in the old bar on the worn stools. The person holding the camera zoomed in on Naomi’s nervous face.
“We were very interested in this part.” Matt sneaks a look between Naomi and Dylan as he pauses. “Xavier called you his girlfriend. Are you two still together?”
“Where did you get that?” Naomi’s voice falters.
She shouldn’t have to deal with this. Not alone.
“We…”
“Are you cheating on Dylan? It’s also been out that the two of you are also dating.”
Dylan stands up behind Naomi laying a hand on her shoulder, only this time, I don’t want to rip it off but shake it. “That isn’t cool. Naomi, let’s go. This interview is over.”
Stolen Tyme Page 23