“Fuck, Hads. Babe…that shit isn’t cool.”
“Serves the asshole right. Now he’s done, so can I get out of here?”
I sit up on the couch, my stomach crying out with every inch I move. “I would kill for a pain pill, but since I can’t take those…can someone get me some Advil from my bathroom?”
Hads rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “Nope. You deserve the burn from Lock.”
“She told you.” It wasn’t a question, but a blatant observation.
“Oh, you mean that you broke up with her the morning after the biggest night of her career? Naomi mentioned it.”
My shoulders sag in relief. Naomi didn’t tell them about the baby. I don’t want them to know, because them knowing means they will have their own beliefs about what I should do.
And I’m strong on my belief.
No matter what.
Naomi and that child are better without me in their lives. Lock is right. I’m fucking poison. Everything but Charlie dies with my touch, and I’m not doing that to another person I love.
Chapter 23
Naomi
Tara sits outside, soaking up the fresh air. February in Georgia is a little different than the dry cold Vegas has, and she is loving it all. I swear she will pack her bag and move here for this alone. Too bad this isn’t my home. Not anymore. Hasn’t been since I stepped back on the plane after telling Xavier he will be a father.
Since it’s been another month along in my pregnancy, and I haven’t heard a peep from him, it convinces me he truly meant he didn’t want to be a father. Again. At least not with me being the mother.
I set a cup of tea next to Tara. I’m overwhelmed with thankfulness for an assistant turned friend who morphed into a sister. I contemplate how lost I’d be without her constant support these last few weeks. She let me cry, told me to scream it out, and let me suffer in peace when I needed it. Then told me when to move on. Told me it was time to accept the outcome and realize this is now my life—ready or not.
I will be a single mother, and that is me. From now on. And the time to do it is now.
Tara arches her brow as she notices I’ve joined her. “Ready for tomorrow?”
I didn’t want to come back. Eight weeks is a long time away when your heart doesn’t feel like healing, even longer when the thought of eating makes you puke. The longest when you wait four weeks for the father of the baby to wake up and say he wants back in your life. Staying away was the only thing I could do. But it all changed with one certified piece of mail I received the day I got back. I was subpoenaed to return to this state for family court.
Not from him, but Zoey. Funny thing is, I’m not on anyone’s side but Charlie’s.
Nothing in me is ready to see him, but I’m glad that after today, our ties will be cut. I knew telling him had to be done in person. I knew I needed my own time to process things. But I don’t get the choice to be in my own blood’s life. I didn’t need a day to process that. So after tomorrow, everything is in his court. No more jumping to him when he snaps.
I’m selfish. I have to be when it comes to the best for my future. But now I’ll be faced with seeing X in court and showing him the first picture of what’s growing in my belly.
I wrap my jacket around me before sitting down next to her. “Not really, but it’s for Charlie.”
“You’re going to see him.”
As if I could forget.
It’s the only thing that will get me through this day.
“Thanks for the reminder.”
“Are you going to show him?”
“I think so.”
“You think so?”
Think. Nothing to think of. I’ve never really thought not to show him. Part of me despises him. But only because the pain of hating him is easier to swallow than loving him with everything in me and him only seeing me as the person he used to fuck and got knocked up.
“I will.”
“Good answer. I’ll give him one more chance to get his head out of his ass. If he doesn’t, then I’m going to kill him.”
Tara will always see the best in everyone—it’s her greatest quality, and honestly, it could be worse. Much like myself.
He does. No matter what he thinks he wants, or how he acted, he deserves to see the picture for himself. Being raised by a single father, I know the hardships that can be placed on the child as well as the parent. I will give him chances because of that. Only because of that. I should have flown down the minute I had the proof in my hand. But I didn’t want to receive nothing but silence from Xavier, or listen to him tell me I wouldn’t be able to handle it. It would’ve made me doubt whether I can do this on my own. And I couldn’t handle that doubt ‘til I knew I was strong enough on my own to ignore hurtful words from others.
“I still can’t believe you’re going to be a mother. Like in a few more months that’s going to be a name for you.”
She can’t believe it. Tell me about it. “Mommy” will be connected to me for the rest of my life.
Looking back, I knew I was pregnant. It shouldn’t have been a shock; I was feeling off. And it wasn’t just missing him or missing Charlie. I was missing something else. My period.
Now, I’m happy—ecstatic, actually. I want to be a mother. No matter what X thought or said, I know I’ll be a good one. That doubt he placed in my mind isn’t there; maybe it should be, but it’s not.
There are no more ifs or when.
It’s now.
Right fucking now.
Something good, something pure came from that single day we wrecked our relationship, and I couldn’t regret it. It may not be the happily ever after I would have picked for myself, but it is the perfect ending to that stage of my life.
The perfect parting gift.
Pure peace came out of the cruel end of us.
A part of me wants to pack up everything I own in a U-Haul, find a small town, and set up my life there. A new one, where no one knows any of my faults. It sounds magical. But I couldn’t do it, because no matter what, you can’t outrun the past. If I could just get him to accept it, but I can’t make him do something he doesn’t want to do. I don’t want him to think I tried to trap him, or that it had been planned. Not after the conversations we had.
But tomorrow is the day.
Charlie’s custody case, then a conversation, and then I fly back to Vegas tomorrow night. Three things separately would be emotionally tough. Mixed together it’s a tornado inside.
“He’ll figure this out,” Tara says.
“How do you know?” I wasn’t so sure, and I want the positive outlook she has to rub off on me.
Tara has said this since the day I came back. I wish I had that faith in him, but I’m also the one who saw his face when he said he didn’t want another child and knew he’d been speaking the truth. She didn’t see the doubt in his eyes when I told him I was pregnant.
“I do. I have a feeling it’ll all work out. My feelings are never wrong.”
I glance up at the sky, blinking back the moisture in my eyes as the sun goes down over the peak of the mountain in the distance, and smile. One day, I’ll be me again. Until then, I have something else—someone else—to be there for. And if that writes the end of my love story with another person…that’s okay, too. I can’t un-choose who I loved, but I can choose not to hide my happiness anymore.
My leg bounces under the table, my head can barely stay upright. Nothing is making my stomach settle today. The coffee and bread are still untouched in front of me. I’ve made more trips to the bathroom than I could count getting sick since last night. The mixture between the morning sickness and nerves is sending my system into overdrive.
“Omi, you look awful.”
“Thanks, Pop,” I say sarcastically.
“No, I mean, your color. You shouldn’t look like that when you’re not carrying a life, but looking like death probably isn’t good for anyone right now.”
I know he’s right, but I have
one thing to do today, then I’ll feel better.
One simple thing.
That’s it.
“I think I’ll go to the doctor after court today.”
“You should fucking skip this stupid shit and take care of yourself. God knows that’s what that shithead would be doing.”
I cut my eyes, the sick pit of tension filling my body. I hate how he hates Xavier. I shouldn’t have come between them. They were the ones I could always count on, and I ruined that because I couldn’t turn away.
“Stop looking at me like that, Omi. I’m not going to sugarcoat shit for you. That does nothing for any of us. I had his back when you told him, thought he would man up. Xavier is just some stupid fucking junkie that’s no good for anyone.”
“I’m not going to fight with you about it today. I don’t have the damn energy. But today has nothing to do with X. It’s for Charlie.”
“And somehow, I don’t think he’s the right person for her, either. He doesn’t even want yours.”
I slam my fist on the table. “I’ve had enough of this. I’ll be back when it’s over,” I spit out.
He had to go there. Had to open his mouth to make this day even worse. This is one of the times I wish I had a mother, one who always had the right things to say. But I don’t. And I’m stuck with someone who couldn’t bite his tongue if his life depended on it.
Chapter 24
Xavier
Marco preps his tie in the mirror of the bathroom of the courthouse. He looks calm. He is calm. I, on the other hand, am anything but. We got the list of witnesses from Zoey’s attorney last night. Fucking last-minute shit. Apparently, it’s common to want to surprise the other. But this was way more than a surprise. It was a crushing blow. One flipping name, a first and last, stood out like a sucker punch to my gut.
Naomi Minter. It hurt even more than the beatdown from Lock.
Last night, sleep evaded me. Every time I would be on the brink of falling, Naomi’s face would shine in my mind. At times, it would be the vision of her happy, the smile on her face so big it might crack. Other times it would be her face when I walked away—severing the ties for good. The sight of her tears nearly unmanned me. It was the hardest thing I ever did. The distance between us gutted me. ‘til she came back and rocked my world.
She’s having my baby. My kid. And I can’t be there; I’m not going to ruin it.
I told myself it was the best for everyone involved, including Charlie. But as the days passed, and Charlie sank further away from me, I wasn’t sure if it was right.
Charlie needed Naomi more than she needed Zoey. I needed Naomi. She was my calm. Not the storm.
But now, Naomi being on Zoey’s witness list—it didn’t make sense. None of it. The game Zoey is playing is anything but right, but hell, she never was. Her choices have always been demented and self-serving. She’s bringing the big guns today. Two people I changed because I’m selfish will now hold the future of my daughter in their hands.
Not a good feeling.
“Don’t worry,” Marco says with conviction.
I stop what I’m doing and stare at him. “It’s not your life that would change.”
And it’s not mine, either—it’s Charlie’s.
“No, but you pay me to do my job. And one of those parts is to be stressed for you when I don’t think we have a chance, and I’m not because Charlie wants to be with you. With her age alone, that stands on merit.”
If the damn fight never happened with Charlie, Zoey wouldn’t have gone and countered my request with full custody. She has nothing as leverage. Now, that’s her strongest bit of evidence in her case.
“What are you on?” He is too calm to be going up against the firing squad.
He slaps me on the shoulder before making his way to the door. A smile shines brightly, showing his unnaturally white teeth. “Nothing, X, it’s life.”
He must be high on the money he’s making off me. “Fuck you.”
“Don’t be so hostile. Let’s get in there. We should be done today.”
Done today…
Today I will know where my baby girl will be going forward…
And knowing that doesn’t ease the strings of stress pulling at me wherever or whenever I move.
“We call Naomi Minter to the stand.”
My eyes stay on the witness door. Naomi is here. Right here. She’s watching me from the corner of her eye. I can feel the burn from her gaze. Two seconds in the same room, and I’m gone—lost in what was. I arch my back in the chair, trying and failing to remove the tension rolling through me in waves.
Naomi swallows deeply before turning her attention to another place. My heart splinters. She looks sad, hurt, sick, but still beautiful. There was something about her now, a glow I hadn’t seen before. But her pale skin worries me. She shouldn’t have lost weight, but the deep circles under her eyes send anxiety through me.
Zoey’s attorney moves closer, his voice like the snake he is, cold—distant—evil. “Ms. Minter, are you with Mr. Scott now?”
The dark pain she has in her eyes will haunt me until the day I die. I did that. Me alone. A creeping unease lands in the bottom of my heart.
She shouldn’t have to feel this way for me.
Naomi pauses for a moment. “No, sir.” A cold, hard, pinched expression crosses her face.
The attorney travels closer to her. It takes all the strength I have in my body not to stand up and take him out. He’s trying to intimidate her.
It’s killing me not to do anything.
“And why is that?” he hisses at her.
She shuffles in the seat before clearing her throat. “He made the decision that it was best for Charlotte.”
“After you told her to punch someone?”
Marco stands in objection, but the judge doesn’t say anything.
I wait.
I blink.
I stop breathing.
Her eyes go blank, the expression falling from her face. “Yes, I said something I regret with everything in me. I meant it as a joke, and I told her that. But I do know teenagers will sometimes look out for themselves, and I personally don’t find anything wrong with that. It should have never been said, and I thought Charlotte understood that at the time. I see now that she didn’t. And that led Charlie to think violence was the right choice. As soon as Xavier heard what I had done, he made the choice for Charlie that he needed to…he needs to be there for her. To put her first.”
The damn serpent nods his head before going on the attack again. “Are you aware of the agreement regarding sleeping arrangements while the minor child is in the home?”
Her chest moves rapidly as she pins me with her gaze before returning to him. “Yes,” she breathes out in answer.
“Are you aware that in the documents drawn up by this court that no one of the opposite sex, unless married, could spend the night while the minor was in the home?”
“Yes, I am,” she whispers. I wouldn’t have heard her if it weren’t for the fact I was staring at her lips.
Naomi is beating herself up, when her presence in my daughter’s life had been a gift. Having her there when Zoey wouldn’t do anything had been a godsend for Charlie, but Naomi was ridden with guilt and shame.
“Excuse me, we couldn’t hear you.”
She sits up straighter. “Yes, I am.” Her voice only slightly louder, but he seems to be sure of exactly what she said.
Her answer brings a hushed silence across the courtroom.
I hate him, hate Zoey, and hate myself for what she’s going through.
“Then why don’t you tell us why you thought spending the night over at the residence on September twenty-first was the right thing to do. And why didn’t Mr. Scott himself tell you to leave?”
She turns to the judge, her eyes as big as saucers, her throat moving with each heavy swallow she takes. “Your Honor, that was a private moment for Charlie, and telling it in open court would not be right for her.”
The judge stares down at her. “Could you say it in my chambers?”
“I prefer not to, but if that is my only option, then yes.”
“We will break for ten minutes. In the meantime, Ms. Minter and both parties will be in my chambers.”
Marco drops his pen, turning his head my way. “What was that?”
“I forgot.”
I shouldn’t have. But I didn’t even think twice about it since Zoey never brought it up again. I fucking knew better, too. She would hold onto it ‘til she could use it herself. Even if she was the one who didn’t show up for our daughter.
“You forgot? That’s huge. This judge is the one who said not to have sleepovers.”
“It wasn’t like that.” Not at all. Not close.
“I’m stressing now, X. Big time. Get your ass up so we can fix this pile of shit. Better believe I’m charging more for this little play.”
We are only a few feet away, and her weight loss is even more prominent now. God, what the fuck did I do to her? Naomi avoids everyone in the room the whole time she talks. Like I’m not even here. Like Zoey isn’t giving her the death stare right next to her.
“Ms. Minter, you said you spent the night because of the minor child’s menstruation?” The judge is obviously uncomfortable with this conversation.
Hell, I am. I hate thinking I have a daughter old enough for this shit, too.
Naomi sits up straighter, playing with the strings hanging from her purse in her lap. “Yes, it was the first time and Xavier didn’t…mmm…it’s not… He tried to call Zoey first, so she could help Charlotte, but when that plan fell through, he called me…just to ask what he should say. I told him I was coming over because I was raised with just my father. I knew when I went through it, I had wanted a female—someone who might understand. My dad didn’t have a clue what to say and couldn’t comprehend what I was feeling. That’s all I wanted for Charlie. To have a moment to remember that was positive, not wishing for something she couldn’t have. We watched movies, and I fell asleep on the floor in her room with Charlie right next to me. That’s it. Nothing happened with Xavier that night. He was careful about crossing lines with her in the house and wouldn’t do that. I wasn’t there for him. I was there for her. That’s it.”
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