by Tanya Jolie
He waited a few days, then decided to call her one last time. He decided that if she didn’t answer this time, he could only assume that it was over. As hard as it would be to accept, he was going to try to forget about her and move on with his life. Charlotte answered on the third ring and Hunter was overjoyed.
“I’m sorry I haven’t returned your calls. I have been so busy with work,” she quickly explained.
“It’s ok. I was just hoping I could see you again.” Hunter replied.
She told him about a Mexican restaurant about 20 miles out of town and asked if he would meet her there that evening for dinner. He thought it was strange that they were meeting so far away when there were so many restaurants nearby. But, he didn’t question her because he was too excited that he was going to finally see her again.
The evening went as perfectly as their previous encounters. The conversation got a little more personal this time at the beginning of the meal. They shared some not so pleasant stories from their life experiences. Charlotte told him about growing up as an only child and he told her about his life after his sisters left. They felt even closer to each other after sharing more of their lives.
Changing pace to a lighter tone, Hunter started telling her about the time his sisters talked him into digging a hole to China. He was only six years old, so the more they encouraged him, the more he believed it was possible. It ended with him getting a whooping from his mother and being washed down with the garden hose by his sisters.
Hunter wasn’t expecting Charlotte to turn so serious towards the end of the meal. “Hunter, this is really hard for me to say,” she paused for a moment as if to think of the right words. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore. I’ve really enjoyed our time together. But, things aren’t always as they seem. I think we should say goodbye.” As she said the last sentence, her voice broke. She was trying to be as emotionless as possible, but her heart was burning with pain.
Hunter looked surprised as he asked her, “Why? I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?”
The hurt in his voice almost brought Charlotte to tears. She wasn’t sure how to answer so she spoke carefully, “I just don’t think we should get any more involved with your deployment coming up. As much as I care about you, we have no future. You will be leaving soon and it would be much more painful to say goodbye then. I’m so sorry, Hunter.” A single tear ran down her face.
As if by instinct, Hunter gently brushed away her tear and said to her, “I understand.” He didn’t know what else to say, so he paid the bill and stood up. He reached for her hand and she didn’t resist. They walked outside and she put her arms around him. They held each other for a long time, before she finally pulled away. She didn’t say a word when he pulled her back in again for one last kiss. It was the sweetest kiss either one of them had ever known. Not wanting to ruin the moment, they went their separate ways without saying anything else.
Charlotte cried herself to sleep that night. She knew she was doing the right thing. Or was she? Her heart fought with her brain until she finally fell into a restless sleep. Hunter was the first thing on her mind when she woke up the next morning. She wondered how he was doing.
He was doing just about as bad as she was. He couldn’t cry himself to sleep for fear of his bunkmates hearing, so he held it in that night, and let it all out at the gym the next day. He trained until he could barely walk. He was completely exhausted when he crawled into bed that night, but his dreams were filled with Charlotte and his rest was uneasy.
A few weeks later, Hunter still could not get Charlotte off of his mind. He wondered how she was doing. He hoped she was thinking of him as much as he was of her. He wanted so badly to call her, but he didn’t want to make her upset. He was so distracted one day after dinner, his bunkmate Nick finally asked him what was wrong.
“It’s nothing. I’m fine,” Hunter replied.
Nick called his bluff, “Bullshit, Fish Boy! You have been depressed and distracted for weeks now! Something is up and you are going to tell me about it right now.”
Hunter knew he had made a promise to Charlotte not to talk about her to his buddies. However, he didn’t think it mattered anymore since it was over between them. Besides, maybe it would help to talk about it. “Do you remember that girl at the bar? Amy’s friend.”
“Of course! I should have known it had to do with a woman,” Nick said jokingly. “Yes, I remember her. I didn’t know you two were still in touch.” He looked surprised.
“Well, we aren’t anymore. To be honest, we had an amazing night after the bar. And we have seen each other a few times since. I thought I was in love with her. Actually I know I am in love with her. Everything was going great. Then, out of the blue, she said she couldn’t see me anymore. She blamed it on deployment, but I don’t know. I feel like it was something else.”
Nick cleared his throat and looked away. “Man, I don’t know how to tell you this……I thought it was just a one night stand with you two. If I had known……”
That caught Hunter’s attention. “Wait! What do you mean? What are you talking about? What do you know that I don’t?”
Nick finally looked at him and said, “Hunter, Charlotte is engaged to the Commander. I didn’t find out until the next day. I figured you would never see her again so I decided not to tell you. I swear, man. If I had known……”
Hunter looked at Nick with wild eyes, “Commander Munster?! Our Commander? This is a joke, right? Oh my God! No wonder she broke it off! He doesn’t know, does he? What am I supposed to do now?”
“Calm down, man. It still isn’t a big deal. I highly doubt she told Monster. And assuming she didn’t, he never needs to know about it. You just need to pretend it never happened. Now need to work on getting you to forget about her.”
“Shit! I have to tell him. I will never be able to look him in the eye again if I don’t. And honestly, I don’t want to forget about her,” Hunter said with a bit of panic in his voice.
“Are you crazy? You can’t tell Commander Monster that you slept with his fiancé! He will kill you! He will get you discharged!”
“He can’t do that, can he?” Hunter asked with dread. “I mean, get me discharged.”
Nick answered in a serious tone, “He’s the Commander. He knows a lot of people and has a lot of pull. I wouldn’t put it past him. I’m pretty sure he can find a way.”
“Fine. I won’t tell him. But, it isn’t going to be easy now that I know. This sucks!” Hunter almost yelled.
“Wise choice, my man. Don’t let a woman ruin your life. And you know telling him would do just that. Just forget about her, and forget about that night,” Nick said reassuringly.
Hunter didn’t know what to think as he lay in bed that night. He knew keeping this from the Commander was wrong. But, he also knew that Commander Munster could make his life a living Hell if he knew the truth. After all, they didn’t give him the secret nickname Commander Monster for no reason. Hunter had seen him mad before and it wasn’t pretty. Besides, he would also be messing with Charlotte’s life if he told the Commander. Hunter wondered if she had ever seen his temper. He truly hoped not.
And then Hunter got mad. Charlotte never even told him she was engaged! What a fool he had been! Why wasn’t she at least wearing a ring? He would have seen it and maybe backed off. Then he wouldn’t be in this messed up situation!
But, the more he thought about it, the closer he came to realizing that it wouldn’t have made a difference if he had known she was spoken for. The connection was too strong. She was too beautiful and they had gotten along so well. He had never met someone like her before. In reality, unless he had known it was Commander Munster, the engagement wouldn’t have changed a thing that night.
As Hunter tried to get back to normal, Nick encouraged him and made sure to tell him at least twice that he was doing the right thing. He tried to get him to go out with him one weekend night, but Hunter wasn’t ready for that just yet. He told Nick he di
dn’t want to be hung over the next day. But in reality, he was still nursing his broken heart. He almost didn’t believe it when his phone started ringing that night and Charlotte’s number showed up on his caller i.d.
Before Hunter could even say hello, Charlotte’s panicked voice came through the phone, “Hunter, we need to talk. Can we meet somewhere, please?”
Even though Hunter’s heart smiled hearing her voice, he was mad. “I know about you and Commander Munster! I don’t think there is anything else we need to talk about, Charlotte!” He tried to keep his voice down, but he was so upset. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were engaged! And to my Commander, of all people!”
Charlotte started crying. He could hear it over the phone, and it broke his heart all over again. Even though he knew he had a right to be angry, he felt terrible for making her cry. He didn’t know what else to say, so he sat silent for a moment and gave her a chance to speak.
He wasn’t at all prepared for her next words. “I’m pregnant, Hunter. And the baby is yours,” Charlotte blurted out.
As the words sunk in, Hunter sat in disbelief. Finally he spoke, “How do you know it’s mine?”
At this point Charlotte’s emotions took a hold of her and she yelled at him, “How do I know it’s yours? Because your Commander, my fiancé, doesn’t touch me! He is a cold heartless man, and I don’t know how I got myself involved with him! And I don’t know how to get out! That’s how I know the baby is yours!”
“Does he hurt you, Charlotte?” Hunter asked feeling his body fill with anger.
“Not physically,” she answered. “He has never hit me. I am so scared, Hunter. I don’t know what to do. I’m so sorry I never told you about him.”
“Let me come to you. We can figure it all out together. Everything will be ok. I promise, my love. Just let me come to you,” Hunter pleaded with her.
As if suddenly coming to her senses, Charlotte’s whole demeanor changed. “No, don’t come here. I’m sorry! I never should have told you. It’s not your problem. I have to deal with this myself. Please Hunter. Just leave me alone. I will call you when I’m ready to talk. Please.”
“What do you mean ‘deal with it’?” Hunter asked. “Please, let me help you, Charlotte.”
“I’m not going to have an abortion, if that’s what you think!” she said angrily. “I just mean I shouldn’t have gotten you involved in all of this. When I figure out how to fix everything, I will let you know. I mean it, Hunter. Leave me alone for now! Give me my space! I’m sorry I even called.”
Before Hunter could reply, Charlotte hung up the phone. His head was spinning. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t let her deal with all of this by herself. But her words kept running through his head. She wanted him to leave her alone. Leaving her alone right now was the last thing he wanted to do. But, he also wanted to respect her wishes. By the next morning, he knew what he had to do to make everything right.
It was a Sunday morning, so he knew where he would find Commander Munster. As Hunter walked to the building that housed the pool, he tried to figure out exactly what he was going to say. How do you tell someone, let alone your boss, that you got his fiancé pregnant?
Hunter was a bundle of nerves by time he entered the building and saw his Commander getting ready to take a swim. Hunter took a deep breath to calm himself and then cleared his throat to make his presence known. He tried to hold it together as he walked closer to Commander Munster.
“Sir, can I talk to you?” Hunter asked politely.
“What’s up, Smith?” the Commander asked, obviously annoyed that his swim had been interrupted.
Hunter started, “It’s about Charlotte.”
The Commander looked at him and started walking towards him until they were almost touching. “What about her?” he asked gruffly.
Hunter started out shaky, then found his courage about halfway through the story. He explained how he had met Charlotte, leaving out the details of their night together. He told him that they had seen each other a few times after. And finally, he told him that he was in love with her.
***
The Commander just stared at him for a full three minutes, which felt like an eternity to Hunter. “Smith, I am going to pretend like you never told me any of this. If you walk away now and never bring it up again, I won’t have you discharged from the SEALs. I won’t kick your sorry ass. If you want to keep your life, you will walk away now without saying another word.”
Hunter knew he should tell him about the baby. He didn’t want to leave it up to Charlotte. But, he also knew that he would be lucky to leave that building alive if he told the Commander that his fiancé was carrying Hunter’s baby. So, as cowardly as it was, Hunter walked out with his head down.
He knew he should call Charlotte and tell her what he had done, but her words kept playing through his head. She wanted him to leave her alone. And as much as he didn’t want to leave her alone, he wanted to respect her wishes. So, he left her alone. He hoped he was doing the right thing. He was worried that Commander Munster might confront Charlotte about the affair, but then realized that it was easier for him to just forget the whole thing happened. Or maybe he would hold it over her head. Hunter hoped not.
Somehow, Hunter made it through the next week without breaking down or being punched by Commander Munster. In fact, they barely saw each other. Every single day Hunter would spend most of his time thinking about Charlotte, while he tried to concentrate on his training. He wondered how she was feeling. He wondered if the Commander had told her about their conversation. He missed her so much and just wanted to hear her voice at the very least. His love for her never wavered.
That Saturday evening, just as Hunter was getting ready to hit the sack, his phone rang. He rarely got phone calls, so it was pretty unusual to hear it ringing. He jumped up to get answer it, trying not to get his hopes up. It was Charlotte! “Hello?”
“Hunter?” she asked. He barely recognized her voice. She sounded terribly upset and was speaking barely above a whisper.
He answered, “Yes, Charlotte. It’s me. What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Panic crept into his voice.
“I’m so sorry, Hunter. I am so sorry for getting you into this mess. I can’t even get myself out of it. He was here. He told me that you told him about us. He was angry. I was afraid he was going to hurt me. And I told him about the baby…..” She started to cry.
“Are you ok? Did he hit you?” Hunter demanded. “Damn it, Charlotte! Tell me what happened! I can help you if you talk to me. Please, just tell me what happened!”
When she finally stopped crying long enough to speak, she answered him calmly, “No he didn’t hurt me, but he broke it off. He called me a whore and told me no one would want me now. He said that I was going to be a single mom with a bastard baby and that I would be alone for the rest of my life. He told me that I ruined my life and he wasn’t going to let me ruin his, too.” She got quiet for a moment and before Hunter could speak, she spoke again, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you. This is my problem, not yours. I am just going to do what he told me I should have done weeks ago when I found out I was pregnant.”
“Please, Charlotte. Don’t abort our baby! I will help you get through this. I helped get us into this situation. It is my responsibility, too! Please, let me help!” shouted Hunter.
“I’m not going to have an abortion. I wouldn’t be able to handle that. But, I can’t do this. I can’t raise a baby all by myself. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, Hunter. I would rather die!”
“Don’t say that! You don’t have to be alone! I will be there with you,” Hunter tried to reassure her.
“I don’t believe you. You will be leaving soon and you’ll forget all about me and the baby. I know he is right. No one is ever going to want me now. You are just saying these things to make me feel better. He has told me time and time again that I wasn’t good enough, and I guess he was right. I don’t belong in this world anymor
e,” Charlotte said with a whimper.
“What are you saying, Charlotte? What do you mean you don’t belong in this world anymore?! Are you at your apartment? I’m coming over right now. Just stay where you are. And Charlotte? Please don’t do anything to hurt yourself or the baby.”
He borrowed a buddy’s car and broke the speed limit getting to Charlotte’s as fast as he could. He was trying not to let the panic come out in his voice as he spoke to her, “Charlotte, I am almost there, ok? I promise you, everything is going to be alright. I want to be with you. I want to help you with our baby. I will be with you every single step of the way.”
But she argued with him, “No you’re not. You will be deployed soon and I will never hear from you again. I will be left alone. You will forget all about me and our baby. How am I supposed to do this alone? I can’t!”
It felt like an eternity, but finally he was at her door. He started knocking and yelling, “Let me in, Charlotte. Unlock the door. I’m here and I’m going to help you.”
It took a few minutes of persuasion, but she finally opened the door and let him come in. She was a mess. Her beautiful face was smeared with make-up. Her hair was pulled tightly into a bun. And her clothes we too big for her perfect frame. But to him, she looked absolutely perfect. Before she could protest, he took her into his arms and held her tightly making sure she couldn’t pull away.
And he whispered to her, “I’m here now, baby. We will get through this together. Everything is going to be ok. I promise you.”
She was crying again and reached into the pocket of her oversized pants. She pulled out a pill vial and handed it to him. As he read the name of the pills, he started to cry, too. She was planning on taking them to kill herself. It probably would have only taken about five to six pills and she would have fallen asleep and never woken up. Hunter could barely handle the thought of never seeing her again.
He put his arm firmly around her shoulder and led her to the couch. He took her face in his hands, looked into her sad, beautiful eyes and said to her, “Charlotte, you have to promise me that you will never think about doing anything like this again. Please, just promise me.”