“Ray, could you set out six plates?” Nancy calls out.
Ray rolls his eyes and lets out a loud huff. “I swear I never get peace with this woman around.” He looks at me and Gabe and winks.
“I heard that,” Nancy says.
I know he only says it because he doesn’t know what it would be like without her. Nancy gives him everything he wants. I think of the life that these two have had. I’ve heard the story of how they came to be here. In their mind, they have suffered since the outbreak. They have seen some of the undead up close. They have had a run-in or two with a raider. Life has been tough.
I shake my head at the thought. They have no idea. Nancy and Ray have had it way better than most. Way better than me. But haven’t I had it way better than others? I’m still alive. Somehow I have managed to not get bitten or scratched. I’ve gotten this far with only a bullet to the side. Sure, I’ve lost people, but who hasn’t?
I look at Gabe next to me and think of how he is the only friend I’ve got left. It seems that everyone I come in contact with eventually dies or is lost to me forever. It was good to see my sister in Elkhorn, but our time together was so short-lived. And even while we were there, I didn’t get the feeling that we had enough time to spend together. I was busy trying to help Stephen and his people set up their defenses. Waverly was busy trying to see into people’s futures to get some kind of answer. She even looked into mine, though now I know she lied to me about it.
She told me she saw me walking through a grassy field and I see a shiny rock in the middle of it. She said that I look at it and think about picking it up, but decide not to. And that’s it.
I know it’s crap.
I remember looking through her notebook of visions that she saw. All of them were filled with scary images and sadness. The vision of my future had been very different from what she told me. Instead of the nice scene of grassy fields and a shiny rock, I’m holding Evie in my arms and I give her away to a woman that I’ve never heard of. Her name is Jenna.
It’s strange to think about the vision and wonder if it’s going to come true. I don’t see how it’s possible. When Gabe and I were traveling with Paxton to come to Elkhorn, I could see how it would play out, but since Paxton betrayed us, and it’s a month later with no definitive plans of heading back to Elkhorn, I’ve just about given up on the vision.
It’s a strange power that my sister has and I can’t say that I envy it. I feel like it would be more of a burden than a useful ability. Unlike my gift. The past month, some of which had me stuck in a bed, allowed me to really practice at honing my ability. And I can say that a few weeks of having nothing to do has really made a difference. It’s weird because now when I close my eyes, I can seek out wherever I want to hear something and I can almost see everything happening in my mind’s eye. With the sound of wind, breathing, and movement I can almost recreate a view of the scene that I’m hearing—almost as if I’m standing in the room with them, though it’s more like shadows. My imagination or memory fills in colors that might be around the targeted person.
Gabe and I watch in silence as Ray sets out six plates on the table. Our lunch guests are still up in their room. I try to ignore whatever Ray is grumbling about and I close my eyes for just a few seconds, listening for the two men, Scott and Derek, in a room just down the hallway. Neither of them have any idea who I am or what I can do, so they have no reason to hide their conversation in their private room.
I hear them shuffling around, but they aren’t talking. Their heavy footsteps come closer to the door and I suddenly realize that whatever conversation they might have been having is already over. I open my eyes as I wait for them to come into the dining room. When they come through the doorway, Ray lets out a hearty welcome.
“There they are!” he says, setting the last of the forks.
Scott stands to the left of Derek. Derek is much shorter and has a thick beard with his long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Scott has his hair cut short and is skinny almost to the point of frailty, but in a born-that-way sort of look, not from starvation. Ray has them sit at the end of the table together. I can’t help but stiffen when they walk past, unable to understand how Ray and Nancy can be so trusting—how the entire village can be so trusting. Gabe reaches over and inconspicuously squeezes my arm to show that he understands what I’m feeling. The presence of these strangers baffles him too, though he doesn’t share in my paranoia.
In this moment, I’m actually grateful that Ray talks too much about nothing. It means I’m not forced to make conversation with these two, and instead I can watch them and try to determine what kind of people they are. I know Gabe thinks I’m crazy, but I swear these guys work for Shadowface.
Nancy finally brings out baked chicken with asparagus—the inside of the breast is still slightly pink and the asparagus feels like it was warmed about an hour ago, but it’s better than starving.
I watch as Scott and Derek cut into the chicken, hesitating to eat it. I dig in as I usually do, but they take small bites and frequent sips of water to get it down.
“Where did you two say you were from?” I ask, shoving half a stalk of asparagus into my mouth.
“A place called Sudyka, originally,” Scott answers. “Far from here.”
“Never heard of it,” I say. “Why are you so far from home?”
Scott looks at Derek and shrugs. “Just traveling. Looking for the right place to settle.”
I can feel my eyes narrow before I can think to stop them. Derek seems to take notice, so I look down at my plate and pretend it didn’t happen. “You probably don’t want to settle in an area like this,” I say.
“Now, why would that be?” Nancy asks from the other end of the table. “I think Orick is quite nice.”
“It’s nothing against Orick,” I say. “It’s just that around these parts there are a lot of dangers. And I don’t mean greyskins.”
“What do you mean then?” Scott asks. “Raiders?”
“Sure, there are raiders, but there are people worse than raiders.”
I can hear Gabe shift in his seat next to me. He wants me to shut up, but that’s not going to happen.
“Have you two ever heard of someone named Shadowface?” I ask.
Scott nearly drops his fork, but Derek remains stone faced.
“Remi, I don’t think we need to talk about that,” Gabe says.
“Shadowface?” Ray says. “What’s a Shadowface?”
I look at Ray. “Just the most vile human being on the face of the earth. I would equate her to the devil, but she hasn’t quite reached that level of fame yet.” My eyes flit to Derek and Scott, both of which don’t dare look up at me as they pick at their chicken.
“Why is this Shadowface like the devil?” Nancy asks.
“She’s a murderer,” I say. “She likes to take villages like this and become the leader—tell everybody what to do. But when a place doesn’t comply, she wipes them out. Last month she wiped out an entire town. A place called Elkhorn.”
“I know Elkhorn,” Ray says. “The epicenter of the outbreak, right?”
“That’s right,” I nod. “But there were good people there. They just didn’t want to ally with Shadowface. So, she destroyed them.”
It was only a half truth. First, I don’t know if Elkhorn was destroyed or not. Second, I also know that the reason Shadowface attacked Elkhorn in the first place was because of the vial of Starborn blood that she wanted. I wonder if she ever got a hold of it.
“That’s not what I heard,” Scott says.
“Oh, you’ve heard something?” I ask, turning my head.
Scott nods, his skinny face turning slightly pink. “I heard about a fight in Elkhorn. We were passing by there at the time. We heard that in the middle of it all, the fight just stopped. There are still people there.”
I feel my eyebrows scrunch together when he speaks. “What do you mean? How long were you there?”
“We weren’t actually there,” Derek say
s. “We just heard rumors about it from people nearby.” He glares at Scott almost as if to tell him to keep quiet.
But Scott ignores him. “And I have heard of this Shadowface that you mention.” He shakes his head. “I’m not sure he’s interested in Orick.”
“She,” I correct. “Shadowface is a she, not a he.”
Scott shrugs. “I think you should learn more about what you’re preaching before you open your mouth.”
“Do you?” I say, feeling hot. Gabe’s foot taps against mine under the table, but I pay no attention to his warning. “Tell that to my sister who is probably dead because of Shadowface. Tell that to the people of Elkhorn who are now dead because of Shadowface. Try to convince me that I’m wrong after Shadowface has tried to have me killed on more than one occasion. Don’t sit there and tell me that I have the wrong information when all you can talk about are things that you’ve heard. Unless you’re lying about your knowledge of Shadowface, then you have no place to talk to me about this.”
The room is silent, and I realize that my hands are balled up into fists. I have the sudden desire to have my gun with me because I can’t tell if Scott and Derek are about ready to jump over the table and attack me, or if they are going to just continue eating.
Derek looks down at his plate, but Scott’s eyes don’t leave mine. It seems that everyone else is just waiting for us to either duke it out or get back to our plates. I’m not scared of Scott, and I’m pretty sure that in a fist-to-fist fight, I could probably take him down, but that fact doesn’t stop the relief that floods within me when his eyes break from mine and he looks at Nancy.
“Nancy,” he says. “Could you please put my chicken in the oven just a bit longer?”
The coming of night only heightens my feeling of caution. I sit on the front porch of the house, clutching tightly to my coat as I try to keep warm. Every breath I take puffs out a white cloud of vapor in front of my face. Nancy and Ray are inside reading a book by the fireplace, Scott and Derek are exploring the village, and Gabe sits next to me, being more silent than usual. He knows that I’m trying to listen for the newcomers’ conversation, but I only hear them talking to Lance at the other end of the village about engine trouble with their truck. Nothing too suspicious.
“I think you ought to give them a break,” Gabe says.
I want to say what do you know but I bite my tongue and allow him to continue.
“They are people just like us,” he says. “You’ve just been burned so many times that you’re finding it hard to trust anyone.”
“I do find it hard to trust anyone, yes,” I say. “But that has nothing to do with these two. It’s the way they came here. The questions they ask. The way they act. Did you see their reactions when I mentioned Shadowface at lunch today?”
“Yeah,” Gabe answers. “Derek made no reaction and Scott dropped his fork because he’s clumsy.”
“And you think the argument we had after that wasn’t suspicious? The fact that Scott claims to have heard of Shadowface is a disturbing notion in and of itself. Gabe, not even you had heard of Shadowface until one of the meetings in Crestwood, and even that was by accident. Shadowface doesn’t make herself known. She doesn’t like people to know that she exists. If Scott has heard of her, then there is more to him than you think.”
Gabe doesn’t say anything to this—probably because he knows that I’m right. There would be no reason Scott would have heard of Shadowface. She isn’t the type of person that others talk about in regular conversation.
Gabe sighs. “Still, you can’t be sure that he’s lying. He said they were near Elkhorn a month ago. People around Elkhorn all knew about Shadowface.”
“Because of us,” I say.
He shrugs. “Exactly. So, it’s possible that they have heard of her.”
“I don’t understand why you’re taking their side on this,” I say. “Why is it so hard to swallow the fact that I may be right?”
“Because I’m tired,” Gabe says. “I don’t want to have to deal with all this again.”
“That doesn’t matter!” I say too loudly. “You’re going to have to face it regardless.”
“I’ve lost everything, Remi. When I worked for Paxton, I had a purpose. Then, Shadowface ordered us to be killed, so without a thought, Paxton tried to do just that. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“I would think that you would want revenge,” I say.
“That’s you,” he says. “That’s not me. I don’t want revenge. I want to live in quiet. I want to be away from all that.”
“So, you think that pretending that nothing is wrong will somehow let you escape all of it?”
Gabe sits forward on the edge of his chair. “Look at this place, Remi. If those people are with Shadowface, here to evaluate the village, what do you think they are going to see? They are going to see a semi-defenseless town that has only survived because it’s been lucky enough to avoid herds of greyskins. They aren’t going to find a place that’s useful like Crestwood or some other big town. They will see that there isn’t a potential for growth and they will report that very fact to Shadowface. Then, we will never see them again. But, if people like you give them a hard time, and call Shadowface the devil, and treat them like they are the enemy, they will report to Shadowface about you. Then Shadowface will figure out who you are. And then she might come here and try to kill you. So yes, I think it would be best to keep quiet and let them do whatever it is they are doing. In fact, it wouldn’t hurt if you apologized to them for being so rude.”
I don’t really know what to say. My gut tells me that he’s wrong—that I should try to get to the bottom of what they are up to. But my brain tells me that he’s right and I should just let them be.
I don’t concede to Gabe, but I don’t put up any more of a fight either. I’m sure what he says is the wise thing to do, but that doesn’t keep my mind from wondering. It doesn’t keep me from keeping a close eye on them.
Without a word, I stand from the chair and walk off the porch and into the street, leaving Gabe to sit by himself. This is the only street in the village. There are several more houses like the one I stay in with Ray and Nancy. The road trails up a hill on the other side where there is an old mechanic shop, and across the street from it is a rundown barn that no one ever seems to use. There are fences surrounding the village, but nothing spectacular. Raiders could be through it in a second and greyskins could get in quickly enough. When I walk the streets, I start to feel more nervous for these people—for myself. It almost seems like blind luck that they haven’t been completely wiped out, like the sense of security is just completely false. But so far it has worked for them. That’s why I don’t like Scott and Derek being here. Even if they aren’t with Shadowface, there is no telling who else they could be with. They could be scouting the place for a group of raiders just to see if the place is worth looting. I know if I were a raider, this place would be one of my targets considering the lack of defenses and the amount of frozen food stored within these people’s homes. I know if I were Ray or Nancy, or any other person that planned to be here long-term, I wouldn’t be sitting inside reading a book, I would be building the strongest wall I could. But these people haven’t seen hardships like the rest of the world. They don’t feel the urgency like they should. For that reason alone I could never stay here long-term.
I stuff my hands into my pockets and walk up and down the street. Occasionally I’ll listen in on Scott and Derek only to hear them talking about a head gasket or some nonsense. I walk from fence to fence, and the more I think, the more I start to doubt myself. The more I start to doubt myself, the more I feel like a jerk for acting the way I did. Maybe Gabe is right. Maybe I should apologize. I guess the only reason I wasn’t as inquisitive as Scott and Derek had been is because I was semi-unconscious for the first few days. Maybe these guys were only asking so many questions because they were considering staying here if the people of Orick would have them. But I’m not so sure that would be
allowed. Honestly, I don’t even know if Gabe and I are welcome here forever. Technically, I’m still on the mend, but I’ve been more badly injured than this. I’m not ready to be told to leave, but I don’t exactly want to stay here either.
If what Scott said was true, then there are still people in Elkhorn. If there are still people there, then Waverly could be among them. She could still be alive. The thought is just too good pass up. So, I guess that’s where Gabe and I will be headed next. If Gabe will even go with me, that is. He seems burned out. But aren’t we all? No one wants to live the way we do, but we do so out of necessity not choice. I’m sure Gabe would love to live the way Nancy and Ray do, but surely he sees the flaws in it—that they are just lucky. No. Gabe will go with me. He has already declared his love for me, though I haven’t reciprocated. I don’t know what he could see in me. I’m hard and cold. I mean, I choose to be. I don’t feel the desire to be compassionate. I don’t care to love anyone. I just want to survive. I used to want to settle into a safe place, but those places have always turned on me. For three months I was in Crestwood thinking I would live and die there. Now it’s just history. I know I can’t look at any place with a sense of certainty anymore. I have learned my lesson in that regard.
I pace back and forth, up and down the street until it starts to get too cold. I listen for Scott and Derek’s conversation, but it ended at some point and they must have gone back to the house. By the time I get back to the porch, Gabe has already left it and gone to bed. Scott and Derek sit in the living room in front of a lit fireplace talking to Nancy about the leadership here in Orick while Ray sleeps with his mouth hanging open and a book resting on his belly.
I shut the door quickly and hold my coat tighter to my chest as the others look up at me. My fingers feel numb and my nose is running from the windy, cold air.
Nancy lets out a shiver. “You brought the cold with you,” she says, motioning me forward. “Come sit by the fire for a bit.”
The Starborn Ascension: Books 1, 2, and 3 (The Starborn Saga) Page 50