by Lisa Daniels
With difficulty, Noely was able to avoid thinking about exactly what he meant because she knew that to think about it would cause her to lose her ability to speak. Shutting down her thought process, the young woman worked to get the conversation back onto a subject where she knew she could continue talking more naturally. “There is no need to pay me back. You were in need-”
Again the finger went to her lips, and the man’s head shook as he looked at her. This time, Noely was very much aware of the feel of the man’s skin against her, and her eyes closed involuntarily.
A delightful laugh forced her eyes open, and for the first time since she had met the man, there was an honest smile on his face. It was almost unfathomable how handsome the shifter was, particularly from so close. From this distance, Noely found that she could not force a conversation. It was all she could do to keep from stepping back toward him and continuing where they had left off. It was almost terrifying how difficult it was to control herself as she looked at him.
The smile widened. “Of course you would say that there is no need to pay you back. It is the people who actually believe that repayment is not necessary that are in the greatest need. You simply spend too much time helping others to realize how great your own need is.” His hand moved along her face and pushed her hair back behind her ear. A part of the young woman noticed the gesture and a hint of recollection pushed to get through all of the other thoughts fighting for her attention. Instinctively, her hand went up to his and held it as he had done the day before. For a moment they looked at each other.
The smile suddenly disappeared and the shifter took several steps away from her. His eyes remained on hers as Noely could not help but bite her lip in disappointment. Mentally she tried to remind herself that distance was a good thing. The problem was that her body was not the only part of her to disagree with the reminder.
A faint smile reappeared on the shifter’s face as the young woman struggled to hide her disappointment. “It would appear that your love for your guardian has shifted. Now you just need time. However, I fear that we may not meet again, so I will have to find another way to return your generosity and kindness. One that you can accept without guilt or shame.” There was a sad look to his eyes at the last sentence, but the shifter did not linger. “I must go. Unless you can name something that you would like to see done in return for your help, I will find a way to repay you that will be acceptable.”
Noely opened her mouth to say that she did not need repayment for anything, but she stopped before saying anything. Her brow furrowed as an idea formed. “Before I ask for anything, can you tell me a bit about yourself?” The shifter raised an eyebrow at the request. She gave him a small grin. “If I know more about you, I will be able to make a proper request. I’m not asking you to tell me much.”
The man’s eyes observed her, waiting for her to continue to chatter as she had done. However, when it became clear that she was waiting for his response, the shifter asked, “What kind of information do you need?”
“How about your name? And a bit about what you consider to be your strengths? The kinds of things you would be willing to do. Oh,” she frowned for a second, “and why you left the cave this morning.”
Another smile graced the man’s face as he looked at her. “I will oblige in a few moments. First I think it best that you finish what you started as your current state appears to be a bit distracting even to me.” His eyes flicked down again for a second to indicate what he meant.
Noely gave him a puzzled look and then followed his eyes. It was then that she remembered she still was not fully dressed.
She began blushing furiously as she tried to cover herself, knowing that the white cotton did not do much to cover her body. “I’m so sorry!” With that she turned and ran back into the cave.
Chapter 3
An Explanation and Farewell
Her hands dropped her clothing a couple of times as she tried to dress hurriedly. When she looked up, Noely realized that the shifter had not followed her into the cave, something that should have been obvious given his reaction after walking in on her. But she was not thinking clearly at all. Her voice was a little high as she said, “You can come in. I’m decent now.”
“You are much more than decent, but your meaning is understood.” A shadow crossed the cave entrance, and Noely’s eyes tried to latch onto the man as he crossed into the room. Unlike yesterday, his movements were graceful and she knew that if he had wanted to, this man could easily have tracked her in the woods without her even noticing. As he moved with grace and silence, Noely began to realize just how difficult yesterday must have been for him.
His melodic voice barely echoed around the cave as he sat down in a chair near the bed. “Please sit down. I will tell you what you want to know in comfort instead of standing ill at ease in the corner. Come. You can relax. I am not going to do anything to you without your permission.”
Biting back the first thought that came to mind, that it wasn’t him that she didn’t trust at the moment, Noely moved over and sat on the bed. She did not want to seem ungrateful for his courtesy, and she felt a strange certainty that the man was not going to do anything without her initiating it. All she had to do was sit far enough away that she didn’t do anything.
Folding her hands in her lap, the young woman looked up expectantly at the shifter.
He watched her for a brief moment before speaking. His eyes were looking away from her, and Noely felt a little more at ease, her mind now better able to focus on the man’s words instead of his eyes. “My name is Cyprian. As you already know, I am a shifter. I am of a species that is perhaps the most abundant of our kind, and we spend more time among humans than any other type, largely because we have had to learn to do so. That does not mean that humans know we exist. We are far more cautious of humans than our fellow shifters because we know what they are truly capable of doing. It has led many of us to be bitter and cynical of humans, even as we live near and among them. Sometimes the bad is so much more obvious that we forget how intelligent and selfless some humans can be as well.” His eyes shifted to her for a moment. “You are the second person this year to remind me of that.” His eyes left her as soon as he spoke the sentence. Noely almost interrupted him to make a correction, but swallowed the words as he continued to speak. “The first was also a female, although once I learned who her father was, her intelligence was far easier to understand.”
There was something in the man’s tone that made Noely feel a pang of jealousy. Perhaps the shifter had felt obligated to repay her, and had made a similar type of payment to the other woman. The thought of it stung, and Noely found that she could not keep quiet. Even as she tried to stop herself, the young woman asked, “Who was it?”
The man’s eyes went back to her again and a little grin passed over his lips. He blinked once. Twice. Then he looked away. “She is Kerensa Gwavas.”
Noely’s mind took in two ideas from that sentence, one of interest and one of jealousy. Both ideas fought for her attention, but the young woman forced the better question out. “Gwavas? As in Sir Gwavas’s daughter?”
A smile tugged at the corner of the man’s mouth as he nodded at her. Though his head was turned, Cyprian’s eyes watched her. After a longer pause than was necessary, he said, “Yes. She was quite taken with one of my best friends, though she didn’t realize it. He thought that she wanted to be a man, otherwise he would have made a move on her on the first day, if I know anything about him. Two fools on a boat trying to be respectful of each other while their sexual tension was almost enough to smother me when I was in the same room with them. He found out at the same time I did who she was. Poor Heath was also more heart than brains, in the best possible way, of course.” The smile widened, and Noely could not help but think that some of his words were directed at her.
She did not spend any time analyzing the thought, though, because she was too elated to hear that the young woman had not taken an interest in Cyprian. Still, she
could not help but ask, “What was it that she did that reminded you that humans can be intelligent? I mean, obviously I wasn’t the one to remind you of that.”
“Between intelligence and heart, I will always choose heart.” He murmured the words more to himself than Noely. Clearing his throat Cyprian said, “Ah, well.” He paused and looked at the woman who had treated him the day before with a hint of sadness in his eyes, as if he were determining how much he should say. Finally, he asked, “Do you know much about the war?”
Noely frowned, “Do you mean the one at the border of Yuezhi?” Cyprian nodded. She shrugged in response, “I know very little. The biggest news I heard about it was a few months back when an avalanche stopped the progress of the Yuezhi soldiers. Miraculously, no one was killed, but the country lost a good number of men as prisoners. I’m not quite sure how they managed that. Since then, there hasn’t been much talk. I think the king is too embarrassed and is hoping that people will forget before the next big assault. Whatever and whenever that is.”
“It is funny what news makes it back.” The shifter was looking up at the ceiling with a wide grin on his face. “The avalanche was her idea after looking at our map for a few moments. She noticed the small movements into the cave and figured out what had been going on. Like her father, she prefers to minimize casualties, so Kerensa recommended a strategic avalanche to stop the battle before it started. Quite the clever human. Much cleverer than dear Heath.”
There were a lot of questions swirling in Noely’s head at the brief story. It seemed impossible that such a move could be possible, a strategic avalanche, but it was not the idea that stood out the most. Her years at the palace learning to talk without consulting her brain was suddenly a liability as the thing that interested her the most was the first question she asked. “Are you jealous of Heath?”
Cyprian’s head snapped so that his piercing eyes were on the young woman at the same time as she clapped a hand over her mouth. To her horror and pleasure, the shifter laughed, filling the cave with a beautiful flowing sound. When he stopped, the smile on his face was beatific. “No. Though she is truly a clever woman when it comes to strategy and books, I dare say that she has much to learn about living. She even admitted as much during our brief encounter. I suppose that was why she was hiding who she was and acting like a man, but I doubt that she will ever have the hardships that would teach her the lessons that would make her truly appealing.” He looked away and returned to his story. “As you said, that was some time ago, a few months, and apart from her desire to spare as many people as possible, I have seen little in humanity to remind me of the good they can do. Until yesterday.” Cyprian’s eyes darted toward Noely, but did not stay. “As for my strengths, nothing in particular stands out. I will do whatever it is you wish to have done to the best of my abilities.”
Noely frowned as the man kept his face directed toward the mouth of the cave, and she wondered if perhaps he was getting anxious to leave. A small part of her knew that it would be best for him to go, and she certainly needed to return to the palace, but there was a much larger part of her that wanted to stay with him for as long as he was willing. Wrestling with her thoughts, Noely decided that the best way to resolve things was to leave the decision up to the shifter. While his instincts had caused her discomfort, the young woman knew that he was right about what she wanted from him. The only thing holding her back was her fear of what would happen if she gave in. With her heritage, Noely did not feel that getting attached, no matter how briefly, would work out in the end. There was no way he could have known why she was not comfortable with a physical relationship, so it was best if he attributed her reluctance to possible shame and guilt if she gave in. There were women who wanted to be married first, and if that was what he thought, that would be best for both of them.
Clearing her throat, Noely stood up, her resolve to leave growing stronger. “I cannot believe that you have no strengths. From what I have seen in our short time together, you are the most extraordinary being I’ve ever encountered.” Noely blushed a little as she said this, but it was necessary to get the point across of what she wanted. Cyprian turned to look at her as Noely looked at the cave entrance. She could not look into those eyes and keep her resolve. Thankful that he did not disagree with her or interrupt, she pressed on. “Your movements are fluid and graceful, while being silent and, I daresay, probably quite deadly. You heal faster than any creature I’ve ever heard of. Your body is more like that of a god than a mortal creature, and your eyes are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Yet you gave me the first restful sleep I have known since my parents’ death, so there is something about you that is also calming and kind, even if you try to hide it.” Her eyes flicked to look at him for a moment, hoping to see him look surprised. Instead, she was rewarded with a gentle smile as he waited for her to finish speaking. Forcing herself to look away before she forgot what she was saying, Noely kept going. “From your story, you must be some kind of soldier. However, you are a shifter, and shifters rarely get involved with human wars. It has been a large reason why humans tend to hate shifters. Based on your words, you would probably have me believe that killing humans isn’t so wrong, except you clearly are not a soldier to kill humans. The story you just told showed that you chose the path that spared all life during a war, so I dare say that you do not hate humans as much as you say. Or perhaps you want to give them every possible chance to do better. So you are also compassionate. With all of that in mind, I don’t think that I can possibly come up with a better way for you to repay me than to ask you to save someone else. I do not have anyone particular in mind, and I do not know how you would go about doing it, however, I am certain that you will do it much better than my clumsy efforts to help others at the palace, or even my efforts to help you.” She gave a little laugh and turned her face away from Cyprian as she tried to hide her embarrassment. “I wish that I could have done more for you because it seems…” Suddenly, Noely stopped talking, not at all certain what she wanted to say.
A pair of arms circled around her waist and she felt herself getting pulled against Cyprian for the third time since they had met. “You undervalue yourself and what you do.” Noely hung her head as the voice murmured near her ear. Her hands covered his, but he made no other move and said nothing else.
As suddenly as he had hugged her, Cyprian released her and strode silently toward the mouth of the cave. Not quite ready to see him go, Noely said, “I think that you would have been just fine without me. You did not need my meddling to recover or to clumsily attempt to save you. All I did was make you feel obligated to me.”
The shifter stood still, his impressive frame outlined against the day. “You did save me.”
Noely heard what he said, but her mouth kept going as she felt the need to talk, anything to keep him from going. “You gave me peace. You reminded me that there is more to life than just the day to day. There is more I can do, but I let the little things interfere. There are bigger things to do, and I have let them go, at first out of need, then out of comfort.” Even though he turned his hypnotic eyes on her, Noely found that she could not stop talking. “And you still never told me why you left this morning.” There was a slight scowl on her face as the young woman finished on a completely unrelated topic. Her scowl deepened as she tried to make sense of her ramblings.
Cyprian gave her a serene smile. “There was a band of undine plotting to take you once you left. I persuaded them that you were no easy target.”
Dumfounded, Noely looked at the man. “Undine? Here?” He nodded. “And how is saving me from a pack of water sprites not paying me back?”
“Because you didn’t ask me to do it.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “And you didn’t ask me to help you.”
“I did when you lay with me last night.”
“Wait, what?” Noely blinked at him trying to understand what he meant. “You mean you aren’t trying to repay me for taking care of your wounds? Y
ou are repaying me for sleeping with you?” The shifter did not move as she tried to make sense of what he meant without any further information. “I mean, I know that I didn’t save your life, not with how quickly you heal, but you weren’t even concerned about your wounds?”
“I was not concerned about my wounds, and that is not how you saved me.”
Noely shook her head, her eyes locked on Cyprian’s. “I don’t understand. You were at no risk of death, so I didn’t save you at all. You don’t owe me anything. In fact, I would say-”
Her eyes could barely register Cyprian’s movements, but the next thing she knew he was standing in front of her, his finger on her lips. His astonishing eyes looked down at her, and her body reacted almost immediately. She shivered to have him so close. For the first time she realized that he was not much taller than her, just a few inches. The shifter seemed so impressive and sinewy when he stood away from her. His voice was low and assuasive as he responded. “Talking is not meant to be a defense mechanism, and more than half of the time people do not hear your words. Save them for when it matters.” His eyes moved over her face, and the young woman found that she had no desire to speak. He blinked, then moved his hand from her lips and onto the side of her face. “Not all deaths are physical. I will do as you ask, but it will not be adequate to repay what you have done. The fact that you feel more at peace does provide me with a small sense of satisfaction as it means you will also benefit from our time together. If I could give you more peace, I would. However, I am needed elsewhere, and the need is greater than the debt owed.”
With that, Cyprian leaned forward and kissed Noely on the top of her head. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, placing her forehead against his chest, too afraid that if she looked at him she would not be able to stop herself. The shifter laughed a little and held her tightly as Noely tried to burn the encounter in her mind. She wanted to say something, anything, to get him to stay, but for the first time since she had lost her guardian, the young woman knew that now was the wrong time for words.