Great, My Heart May Be Broken but My Hair Still Looks Great

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Great, My Heart May Be Broken but My Hair Still Looks Great Page 26

by Dixie Cash


  “I’ll have you know, my shoes were appropriate when I left the house. As best my memory serves me, no one mentioned I would be needing long-distance walking shoes. You two don’t have to wait for me. There’s enough moonlight for me to see. Go on ahead.”

  A few more steps and slow progress later, they reached the fence. “Okay, Ed, maybe you’ve got a point about the shoes. Look, we’ll make sure you get through the fence and are on the road with us, then we’ll go on. You can holler if you lose sight of us.”

  “You’ll yell at us, won’t you, Edwina?” Paige said, worried about leaving her alone.

  “Like a fuckin’ banshee.” Edwina blew another stream of smoke into the air and scanned their surroundings. “Are you sure there’s no snakes out here?”

  “Quit yelling, Ed, or you’ll wake ’em up.”

  Debbie Sue and Paige ducked through the barbed fence wires, then stretched them wide for Edwina to climb through. “Fuck,” Edwina said, straddling a wire. “My pants are caught. And these are my good black pants.”

  Debbie Sue made a huff of exasperation and leaned down to free her friend’s pants from a barb.

  “Are there cows in here?” Edwina said. “I’ll bet there’s a bull in here.”

  “The cows are asleep, Ed. The bull, too.”

  “What, the whole damn animal kingdom’s asleep?”

  “Not much longer if you don’t shut up.”

  A rip in Edwina’s good black pants later, the three of them were through the fence. “Jesus,” Edwina mumbled, patting and readjusting one side of her beehive hairdo. “My good black pants, too.”

  Debbie Sue grinned at her friend. “We’re going on now. You’ll be okay?”

  “Go on. I’m right behind you.”

  Paige followed Debbie Sue along the white caliche road that shot ahead of them straight as an arrow and was clearly visible in the moonlight, but they both looked back often at their lagging partner. Soon they lost sight of her but could still hear her muttering and cussing. “Will she really be all right?”

  “Sure,” Debbie Sue said. “Ed’s tough. And we’re not that far apart.”

  Debbie Sue’s thoughts roiled as she quick-stepped along the caliche road, forcing herself to believe Edwina could manage alone. Losing Rocket Man was an unbearable thought, but the notion of losing Edwina was a different matter altogether.

  From out of the darkness a barn of some kind emerged ahead and a corral with the silhouettes of four horses milling inside. She stopped short and grabbed Paige’s arm. “Look!”

  Something bright, like a reflection, glinted at times as she watched. Then it struck her. The glint was the moonglow reflecting from the conchos on a halter. Rocket Man!

  “That’s him,” she cried and ran the distance to the pen. Paige came up close behind her.

  They climbed through the pole corral fence. Debbie Sue wrapped her arms around her beloved paint’s neck. “Paige, meet my baby. This is Rocket Man, the best barrel racing horse that ever lived.” She buried her face in his mane, crying and stroking his neck. “We’re going to get you out of here, Man. Yes, we are. Wanna go see Buddy?”

  At the mention of Buddy’s name the horse became friskier, nickering and bobbing his head. “See how he loves Buddy?”

  “Should I go back and get the truck?” Paige asked. “I think I could crash the gate.”

  On closer inspection, even in the dark, Debbie Sue could see that the other three horses were old. “We gotta get all four of these horses outta here. It’ll be faster if we take them back to the trailer all at one time. No telling when the dirty bastard that took them will show up. Can you ride bareback?”

  “Well yes, but—”

  “Good. If I can find some rope in this little barn, I’ll ride Rocket Man and lead one horse. You can do the same, ride one and lead one. It’ll be easy. These guys probably don’t have the energy to act up.”

  “What about Edwina?”

  “We’ll tell her to turn around and start walking back to the pickup. She probably hasn’t come far. She should get there by the time we get the horses loaded into the trailer and ready to roll.”

  Debbie Sue made her way to the barn and cautiously stepped inside, making plenty of noise with her feet to scare off crawling varmints. Miracle of miracles, she found not one rope, but several hanging on pegs on the wall. She returned to the corral with four in hand.

  “Wow, how convenient is this,” Paige said, taking two of the ropes.

  “No kidding. Thank God they were in there.” Debbie Sue deftly ran the end of a rope through Rocket Man’s halter ring, then tied a loop in a second rope and slipped it over another horse’s head.

  Paige made a loop in a third rope and slipped it around a swaybacked mare’s neck. “How will we get the horses through the gate?”

  “Now I’m pissed off. To hell with the gate. We’ll drive my Chevy right through it. A horse-stealing bastard doesn’t deserve a gate.” Grabbing a handful of Rocket Man’s mane she vaulted up and onto the familiar seat. Paige led a horse over and handed its rope up to her.

  Debbie Sue had no doubt Paige could handle the horses. If she was able to ride Harley’s spirited horses every day, she could deal with one of these old animals. But she might be frightened at what they were doing. “Are you sure you can do this?” Debbie Sue asked her from her seat astride Rocket Man. “Want me to wait around?”

  “Heavens, no,” Paige said. “You’re right. That guy might show up at any second. Go on. I’ll be right behind you.”

  What a kid. Debbie Sue loved her gumption. “See you at the pickup, then.” She gave Rocket Man a little nudge with her heels and trotted out of the enclosure.

  After closing the corral, Paige turned to the remaining two horses. The mare she had tied to the fence was gentle and calm. Knowing riding without a bridle could be tricky, Paige had already decided to ride her and lead the roan. The roan proved to be skittish and kept avoiding the rope. Eventually Paige succeeded in getting a loop around his neck. She then returned to the mare. When Paige tried to lead her away from the fence, she didn’t move.

  In fact, she wouldn’t move.

  Paige used every trick she had ever been shown for situations such as this, but the stubborn mare had planted herself firmly. Keenly aware of every passing minute Paige pleaded, “Pleeease? Can’t you see I’m trying to help you? I’ve been to France. Trust me. You don’t want to go there.”

  “Having some trouble, are ya?”

  Paige spun so quickly she stumbled backward against the horse that had become a monument. “Damn, Ed,” she said and slapped a palm against her racing heart. “I didn’t hear you walk up. Did you see Debbie Sue on the road?”

  “Yeah.”

  “She was supposed to tell you to walk back to the pickup, and we’d meet you there with the horses.”

  “She did. But I was a lot closer to you than I was to the pickup. I cannot walk another inch. My feet are killing me. I’ll just go back with you.”

  “Do you know how to ride?”

  Edwina assessed the swaybacked mare. “Doesn’t look like I’d have to with this one. You ride that one, I’ll take this sweet old thing.” Edwina ran a palm down the horse’s neck.

  “I don’t know, Edwina. I can’t get her to budge. She may need some encouragement.”

  Edwina looked into the eyes of the aged mare. “We all do every now and then, don’t we, girl?” She lifted a foot and spoke to Paige. “Just give me a leg up.”

  With fingers entwined to form a stirrup, Paige hefted Edwina up. The skinny brunette wallowed onto the back of the horse and squirmed until she seated herself.

  With no small amount of uncertainty, Paige handed Edwina the end of the mare’s rope. “Hold this ’til I get the gate opened and get mounted. I’ll lead. Your horse should just follow mine with no trouble. Horses do that, you know.”

  “No problem, cowgirl. Let’s head ’em out and move ’em up. Or something.”

  Paige opened the corral gate
, then vaulted onto the roan’s back. She reached for the rope in Edwina’s hand, but apparently, the sight of an open gate and open range was all the old mare needed. Before Paige could get the rope on Edwina’s horse firmly in hand, the mare bolted and charged through the gate.

  “Oooohhh, shit!” Edwina screamed.

  Paige watched, her eyes bugged in terror as the mare circled the outside of the corral twice, then headed up the caliche road at a full gallop with Edwina’s arms and legs flying in all directions.

  Paige kicked her horse in the side and started after her but couldn’t see her. A few minutes later the steel gate with two pickups parked in front came into sight. Parked behind Debbie Sue’s outfit was Vic’s black truck.

  “Where’s Ed?” Debbie Sue called out as Paige trotted closer.

  “You didn’t leave her on the road, did you?”

  “Oh, no. She’s not here?” Paige threw a leg across her horse and dismounted. “I just assumed she got here already. I was afraid for her at first, but she’s quite an accomplished rider. Why, she circled me twice doing tricks I’ve never seen done by anyone but professional stunt riders.”

  Debbie Sue and Vic both slid from their seats on the pickup’s hood and charged toward her. “What kind of tricks?” Vic asked.

  “You know, the standard stuff. Hanging on to the side of the horse, Indian style. Stretched out on her stomach, hanging on to the horse’s neck. And the one that really blew me away, running alongside the horse while holding on to the mane. And wearing platform shoes, too.”

  Vic and Debbie Sue stared at each other as if they were stricken with paralysis.

  Paige shifted glances from one to the other. “What? What’s wrong?”

  “Oh, my God,” Debbie Sue said in a stage whisper. “Ed never rode a horse in her life that didn’t have a coin slot in its ass. God, Vic, she may be hurt somewhere. We’ve got to go find her.”

  Vic was already ahead of Debbie Sue, stalking into the night, calling Edwina’s name. He came back to his pickup, started it up, and maneuvered it into position in front of the padlocked gate. Before he could crash through, a lone horse and rider came into view from the pasture to the left of the caliche road.

  “Ed!” Debbie Sue called out. “Ed, is that you?”

  Vic shot out of his pickup and like a gazelle, jumped the barbed-wire fence.

  “Fuck,” Edwina said. “Who’d you think it was? Dale Evans?”

  A huge feeling of relief coursed through Paige. Losing Edwina was her fault. If she had gotten hurt, Paige couldn’t have lived with herself.

  Vic reached Edwina and looked up at her. “Mama Doll, are you all right?”

  Edwina’s clothes were in disarray, and she was covered with dirt. Her cat’s-eye glasses sat cockeyed on her nose. Bits of limbs and leaves clung to her shirt and hair. Her once carefully coiffed beehive hairdo fanned out like a peacock’s tail in full plume.

  “Hon, are you hurt?” Vic asked her softly. “Do you want me to help you down?”

  “I’m not hurt. I just want to sit here for a minute and catch my breath. How does my hair look?”

  “Well, it’s a little messed up.” Vic plucked a short piece of some kind of plant from Edwina’s hair. “Baby, did you ride through some brush?”

  “Brush? I could only wish. I sailed through a whole forest of fuckin’ mesquite trees. Twice. I’ll never look at a piece of mistletoe the same again.”

  “Damn, you had us scared,” Debbie Sue said. “I don’t know who I’ve been happier to see tonight. Rocket Man or you.”

  “Vic, I think I’d like to get down now,” Edwina said.

  Vic reached up and gently lifted her from atop the horse. Her feet touched the ground gingerly.

  Paige rushed to her and hugged her. “Oh, Edwina, I’m so sorry. When I saw you doing tricks, I thought you knew how to ride.”

  “Tricks?” Edwina questioned. “Sweetie, the only tricks I know have nothing to do with a horse. I feel like my feet have been torn from my ankles.”

  Paige looked down at Edwina’s feet. All that was left of the pink platform shoes were the sequined grapes between her toes. “Oh, no, Edwina! Your cute shoes. What happened to them?”

  Before Edwina could answer a siren pierced the night. Flashing lights lit up the blackness as a Texas Department of Public Safety black and white cruiser pulled onto the shoulder behind Vic’s pickup. Trooper Buddy Overstreet swung out of the driver’s door, an ominous scowl on his face.

  “Oh, crap,” Edwina said. “Vic, put me back on that horse. I think I want to leave the country.”

  thirty

  Along with Debbie Sue and Edwina, Paige sat on the ground while Buddy paced, lecturing them on the dangers of walking into situations without sufficient information or adequate backup. No one, not even Debbie Sue, dared argue.

  Vic was spared the tirade. He stood by with his arms crossed over his chest. Apparently, he hadn’t trusted the pledge from Debbie Sue and had called Buddy from home, informing him what the three of them were up to and giving him the location. Buddy had, in turn, called the authorities in the Crockett County sheriff’s office. After the sheriff and his deputies had a short conversation with the caretaker of the ranch, Javelina Huffman’s husband, Joe Eddy, had been arrested as a horse thief.

  Buddy told them the arrest of Joe Eddy Huffman was the proper procedure professionals used to solve a crime and make an arrest, then paused. “Does anyone have any questions?”

  Edwina raised her hand. “Do you think we can collect the fee from Javelina for finding out what her husband’s been up to?”

  Without saying a word Buddy turned and walked back to his black and white cruiser.

  “What’d I say wrong?” Edwina asked, scrunching up her shoulders and showing her palms.

  “I think he’s just upset and needs to cool off,” Debbie Sue answered.

  “I think he’s gone to get his shotgun,” Paige said, sneaking a look toward the cruiser from the corner of her eye.

  They sat there in silence until Edwina began making choking sounds, trying but failing to control her laughter. Before long they were all laughing.

  Paige couldn’t keep from guffawing anew every time she looked at Edwina’s hair. “Let’s look on the bright side,” she said finally. “Rocket Man has been saved, and the crook is behind bars. This crime solving is fun.”

  “Look at me,” Edwina said. “Do I look like I’m having fun?”

  “Yeah, Ed, you kind of do,” Paige managed to say before falling over, again overtaken with laughter.

  Buddy came out of the state car and began writing on a clipboard. Debbie Sue looked toward him. “If I don’t go talk to him, I may have to sleep on the couch tonight.” She stood, brushed dirt from her bottom, and walked toward him.

  Paige watched as the two engaged in a heated conversation with exaggerated hand gestures, followed by a hug and finally kisses.

  Vic squatted beside Edwina and stroked her hair, attempting to return it to a more human form. “Baby doll, you mad at me for calling Buddy?”

  “Mad for making sure I was safe and all of us weren’t hurt? No, Vic, I’m not mad.” She leaned into him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.

  Paige watched the two couples, feeling isolated and lonely. She thought of Spur and the disastrous events the evening had wrought for them. She would have to take the first step to make up with him, and she was willing. Her feelings were greater than her ego.

  Buddy and Debbie Sue walked back to the group arm in arm.

  “Ladies, sorry if I came on a little strong,” he said. “It’s part of my job to consider the worst-case scenario. When it comes to these two”—he gestured toward Debbie Sue and Edwina—“I’m not always prepared for what confronts me.”

  “Awww, no harm done, Buddy,” Edwina said. “Personally, I picked up some real good tips for our next case.”

  Buddy gave her a withering look.

  Rising quickly Edwina took Vic’s hand. “Let�
��s go home, sweetie. I could use a hot shower and one of those massages you’re so famous for.”

  Watching the couple as they drove away, Debbie Sue said to Buddy, “I’ll take Paige home, then I’ll go straight to the house, I promise. I’ll bet Rocket Man’s ready to get back to familiar surroundings.”

  “I think Rocket Man likes the company of the other horses,” Buddy said. “Don’t get any ideas about keeping them. We’re going to do everything we can to find their owners.”

  “I know. We’ll just keep them ’til the owners show up.” A small smile tipped up the corners of her mouth, and somehow Paige knew that if the aged horses hadn’t had a home before, they had one now.

  “Come on, Paige. The drive home will be more relaxing than the one coming out here. We’ll have a chance to talk.”

  The trip back to Salt Lick, traveling at a speed closer to the posted limits, was considerably more enjoyable. Paige revealed to Debbie Sue her feelings and fears as they related to Spur. Before she was ready, they were in Salt Lick again.

  As Debbie Sue pulled in front of her house, Paige opened the door and looked back at her friend. “Thanks. It means a lot to me to have someone like you to talk to.”

  As she opened her front door Paige looked one last time at Debbie Sue and waved.

  Tonight she would sleep on making up with Spur. Everything would look better in the morning.

  It just had to.

  PAIGE AWOKE from a night of tossing and turning. Through what little time she had slept, she’d had scary dreams of Edwina riding bareback in the Kentucky Derby. The dream, as odd as it was, wasn’t any more far-fetched than the previous evening’s actual events.

  Her feelings were divided. Part of her was devastated that Spur was so angry with her. The other part was angry with him for making unfair assumptions and not giving her the benefit of the doubt.

  She was in deep thought five miles outside Salt Lick when she heard the all-too-familiar whomp-whomp sound of an underinflated tire hitting asphalt.

  Oh, phooey. She hadn’t taken the time to have the spare fixed since her last flat, and now she was really in a predicament. She slowed and eased over to the shoulder of the road. She got out to look, but she already knew the right rear tire was as deflated as her spirits. She picked up her purse and set out on foot.

 

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