He stops me with a gentle capture, by taking my wrist. I hate awkwardly being pulled into conversations I’m not included in. I have no desire to stick around, so I twist my hand free and keep moving.
“Grace, wait up.” Pastor Ryan gives Pastor Danny a quick pat on the back and hustles to catch up with me. “You never gave me your answer.”
What does he want? My heart is leaping away fast, but my feet remain planted in place. Why can’t I function around him?
He puts his hand on the small of my back and walks with me. “Don’t look back. She’ll sign you up for her early morning prayer class,” he says.
My brain only half processes what he’s saying. “What question did you ask?”
“You know. If you liked the tea.”
“Oh,” I blush. “It was fine.” I stop, realizing we’re alone in the church. At least in that hallway. Walls that are usually bouncing off multiple conversations are so quiet I can hear us breathe. “Sooooo—” I exhale, daring to hope he’ll finish the sentence with . . . I’ll call you later . . . Can I kiss you? . . . You’re my everything.
I get nothing, so I start walking again. We walk in silence. He stops to check and lock every classroom door as we pass them. I slow down, so that I can walk with him as he does.
“Do you always do this?”
“Not always.” He has his hand on a knob, but hasn’t locked it yet. It’s fate, cause suddenly we aren’t alone.
Why do they have to ruin everything? I recognize the voices. Without thinking about what I’m doing, I grab Pastor Ryan by the shirt and pull him into a classroom. “Why are they still here?” I hiss.
“Grace.”
It’s Naomi and Lydia. Their footsteps get closer. I turn the lock and hold my breath until their shadows cross in front of the door. “Every time something like this happens, they show up. Can’t I catch one of them in sin for once? But I’m not sinning. Can’t I be alone with Pastor Ryan?”
“Grace,” he says again.
Then I realize what I’ve done and who I’ve done it to. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” I fall to my knees, bow my head, and clasp my hands into the church steeple pose. “Forgive me Pastor. I just didn’t want them to see me talking to you. They’re jealous and mean. I think they hate me too.”
“Yeah, I get that vibe from them.” He squats down in front of me, lifts my chin up with his middle finger, and follows my gaze until I look him in the eyes. “Do I make you nervous?”
“No. Yes. Sort of.” I answer feeling like a deer caught in headlights. “It’s just that. You know what the girls say about you. You’re handsome and worldly.” I lower my eyes to his crotch, cause it’s right there for me to look at. “And worldly.”
“I’m also your Pastor. A protector. And I hope a friend.” He pulls me to my feet, holding my hands firmly gripped in his, he adds, “You can come to me with anything. Anytime, Grace. I’m never that far away.”
I know he’s right, because I see him every day. Pastor Ryan, lives next door to me. I am special. I am Amazing Grace. I mean more to him then Naomi and Lydia do. They’re not his neighbor or the girl next door.
I am.
Chapter Two
Ryan
Amazing Grace.
How sweet the sound.
Ever since she came into my life, I can’t stop humming the tune. This time it fills my thoughts because Dottie is playing the hymnal on the organ, practicing for next Sunday’s service. But it’s Monday and the sound is echoing through the quiet church walls.
I have to do something, anything to get my mind off of the woman who gives this song a double meaning. Deciphering why she pulled me off into a classroom to be alone had me up all night.
Could she feel the same way about me as I do to her? She’s young and vibrant. She can’t feel the chemistry between us that I feel. She has her whole life ahead of her. She doesn’t want a sinner like me.
“Ugh!” I grab my phone and head out the hall to Pastor Danny’s office. I wish I could confess to him my feelings, but he’s already warned me about coming on as a new pastor, a new Christian, and falling back to my old ways with a godly woman. It’s too much of a temptation to date at this time in my life. But damn, I mean, darn, she turns me on. And not like other women did. She excites me with her innocent smile. I know this is different.
“Pastor.” I nod to Danny, standing in the doorway of his office. Before the afternoon budget meeting, I need to get Pastor Danny on the same page as myself, so we can lock in the budget to upgrade the baseball field out by the barn.
“Ryan, come in. Sit down.” He’s pacing with his bible in his hand. As the outreach pastor, he directs the church to go out in to the world to convert sinners. He’s the reason I’m at Cathedral of Hope. The reason I am the man I am today. The reason I’ve met Grace.
“I’d come back later, but we need to talk about the baseball field.” I lean my backside against his desk and cross my arms in front of my chest. “Are you with me?”
He keeps pacing and shaking the good book. “Do you know anything about the bible code? Where is that scripture?” He plunks the bible down on the desk and flips the pages. “You know the one.” He snaps his fingers, but doesn’t say exactly what he’s thinking.
A year ago I was on the streets. Hadn’t picked up a bible since childhood. My knowledge is limited on good scriptures to memorize. Danny knows that, so he keeps searching for his answer himself. I launch into my spiel about how playing baseball will keep the teens out of trouble. “On the field, kids will be kids, but they’ll learn teamwork. And being out in the open they won’t be tempted—to—do.”
The office door is open and I had a split second to notice, but it was her, Grace walked by. “I’ll be back.”
“What was it you were saying?” Pastor Danny stops me from leaving.
Must get to Grace. Fudge. I grip my fists tight. I also need the baseball field budget locked up. I do an about face, turning on my heels. “Danny, can you just vote my way? I’ll make it up to you.” I slap my palms together, making a prayer motion. “I have to go chase something down right now.”
I look left and right and Grace is no where in the hallway. To the left is the kitchen. Grace helps with the food bank. I speed walk down the hall and push open the swinging door. She’s not here. I walk faster to the outside door, peeking into all the other rooms as I pass them. Did I miss her? Lord let me speak to her. I know I saw Grace.
I’m in my head when I open the door to the outside, but one glance of what’s waiting for me in the parking lot changes that in an instant. There she is. What are you doing to me, God?
Grace is bent over, rearranging items in the back of her mother’s van. Lord give me strength. I bite my lip, holding in a groan. I examine her tan legs all the way up her from her ankles to where they disappear into the hem of her shorts. Her rear is positioned just perfect for a teasing swat. It pains me to control an urge to grab it with both hands and sink my claws into her booty. Damn, I mean, darn, I love a good game of grab ass. Shit, shoot, if I wasn’t a changed man, I’d rip those shorts off and nail her in the back of her van here in the parking lot.
Stop thinking about Grace. She’s half your age. “Amazing Grace,” I call to her. “Helping mom out today? No classes?” She turns, her hair covers her face for a second, then she flips it out of the way. The grin that stretches from ear to ear is encouraging. She’s happy to see me too.
“Hi, Pastor Ryan.”
What a virgin goddess. She has no idea the strong hold she has on me. If only I could confess to her.
“It’s summer break. I like helping mom in the kitchen,” she says, picking up and putting down the loaves of fresh baked bread. The way she just moves them around, I get the feeling she’s nervous talking to me. “Baking gives me something to do.”
“Have you tried baseball?” What the hell am I saying? I can’t handle Grace on the field at every practice. I’ll go nuts lusting after her in shorts like these every day. “The churc
h has a team.” Stop talking! “You should come to a practice some day.”
“I’m not very sporty,” she says, sticking her lower lip out into a pout.
She’s so sexy in that moment, I want to take her in my arms and smother her with wet kisses. But I don’t. I can’t. I’m a man of God, challenged to protect young women like her. And I do. I pray protection follows all my teenagers. Grace is twenty. Not one of my responsibilities. I’m allowed my feelings for her.
“Come cheer us on then.” I pat her on the shoulder. I may not be able to take her in a passionate hold, but I’m drawn to touch her. “It could be fun.” I squeeze her arm and stroke my thumb on her soft skin.
“Maybe I will,” she gasps, leaning her chest forward. She licks her lips and I think she’s about to lunge forward for a kiss, but our moment to sin is cut short.
“Grace!” her mother yells from the back door. “Where’s the bread?”
“Mrs. Harding.” I rip my hand from Grace and take a step back. “I was just inviting her to support the church baseball team.” It’s embarrassing getting caught. We were just talking, but my thoughts are wandering, desiring more.
Being near Grace has me aroused. I notice her, look down and notice the bulge in my pants. She can’t see. I grab a loaf of bread to cover my excitement. “Can you tell Pastor Danny I have an errand to run?” I can’t go back in the church like this.
“Pastor Ryan, when is practice?”
It pains me to look her direction. She’s standing with her hands behind her back and her chest pushed out forward. What I wouldn’t give for a squeeze of her perky tits. “There’s a sign up sheet—inside—I have to go.” I walk backward to my car. Good thing I always have my keys in my pocket. “Hope to see you there, Grace.”
“Damn!” I grip the steering wheel and drive. “Forgive me for cursing.” I pray. “But why do you put her in my path? Why send her to me if I can’t have her?”
No woman’s ever given me an erection so fast. She’s got a hold on me stronger than the Spirit of the Lord. It must be love. Could be lust. Probably a bit of both. She both intrigues me spiritually and excites me sexually. “I can’t take it, Lord.”
Driving, I entertain carnal thoughts. Thoughts of Grace. Thoughts of being the first man to make love to her. Of bending her over, stretching her pureness with my dick, taking her virginity for my own, and filling her with my seed. I ache to watch her tremble to climactic bliss on my dick. She’s the one temptation I can’t resist. Grace, why do you consume my every thought?
Why do I fall for the wrong ones?
It’ll never work.
But I have to try.
If I tell her.
Will she laugh at me?
Or love me?
Have mercy on me for thinking such things. I pray.
Out of habit, I’ve driven to the one place I can truly be myself. The place I don’t need to be Pastor Ryan. I can just be Ryan, the guy with the green equipment bag.
The Home Run batting cages is the place where I’m no one special. I’m not a godly man. Just a man with sins and a desire to hits some balls. Before opening the driver’s door, I kiss the cross dangling from the chain I wear and tuck it in under my shirt.
The indoor practice facility is pretty quiet this late in the day. It’s summer, but much of the clientele are adults with day jobs, not students. Before warming up, I stroll over to purchase a spot in one of the batting cages.
Geneva, the owner’s wife is working. She’s warm, inviting, and makes every man feel like he’s her favorite customer. She’s also easy on the eyes, which can be troublesome when both she and her husband Vic are working. He’s hulk big and the jealous type. A guy hits on Geneva only once in his lifetime. I’m smart enough to never have hit on her at all.
“Beer or soda,” she asks, tapping the snack bar counter in front of an empty space.
“Soda.” I drop my bag and pull up a barstool. While I wait for her to pour the drink, I rest my elbows on the counter and lightly tap my clasped hands on my forehead. I mouth, “Bless this drink. Thank you for it and thank you for Geneva. Give her strength.”
“You alright, sugar?” She serves my order with a concerned look. “What’s on your mind?”
“It’s her again.” I confess. “I’ve tried. I can’t get her out of my thoughts.”
Today’s not the first time I’ve confided my feelings about Grace with Geneva. She understands men’s obsessions. She’s driven many men to sin with the lusts of the flesh.
“You ain’t trying hard enough, Ryan.” She takes my hand and holds onto it until I look her in the eye. “How the hell you supposed to get over her when she’s right next door? You see her today?”
“Just now. I stupidly invited her to play on our baseball team. Then got so nervous just being next to her that I had to drive off.”
“Dear Lord in heaven above,” Geneva laughs, not knowing how irreverent her comment is, but she’s not talking to Pastor Ryan. “You asked her out, then drove away? Did she answer first?”
“Not really.” I swallow hard, rethinking what I’d said to Grace. Geneva has a way of pointing out the truth behind a man’s ramblings. “Did I ask her out? I asked her to come to practice. That’s all.”
“She’s your neighbor. She’ll dream about you driving her there. About your first kiss in the car. You two making out in the back seat.” She purses her lips in a seductive way, then she slaps my arm. Hard. “I’m just giving you a hard time. Relax. Have a drink on the house.” She gives me my soda and moves on to serve another man, leaving me to stew in my thoughts.
Now I’m confused. I thought I was being polite. Everything I do concerning Grace is wrong. I can’t help it. She drives me insane. I gulp down a drink, letting the bubbles swirl in my mouth as I let my imagination run back to the sneaky peeks I steal from my bedroom window next door to hers.
Glancing over to her house is a habit I’ve got to break. Just seeing the outline of her shadow appearing in her bedroom window excites me. She’s everything I want in a woman.
My desire to hold her intensifies with every memory, every glimpse of her in the window. I stare down to the bottom of my glass, racking my brain, trying not to think of where she is at that very second. It’s no use. I push my sleeve up and check the time on my watch. I’ve forgotten about the church budget meeting and have already missed it. “There goes my field updates.”
Geneva serves a beer to the man sitting next to me. If only I could drown my cares away with alcohol. It’d be easier to go home and not knock on her door. But I took a vow. A vow to stay pure of body, heart, mind, and soul. No beer, since I’ have so many impure thoughts about defiling Grace. It all even outs. Right. I justify my weakness.
“Thank you, Geneva.” I pay my tab, pick up my equipment bag, and head to the batting cages. Hitting an hours worth of balls should relax me enough to go home without a raging boner.
By the time I pull into the drive, her bedroom is dark. It doesn’t take long for me to make myself comfortable in bed and drift off into a fantasy about Grace. She’s sleepy, laying in bed. Her chestnut hair is spread out on her pillow. Her lips are puckered in a pose for true love’s kiss to wake her.
In the dark myself, laying naked, on top of the covers, I stroke my cock, anticipating a needed release with Grace in my thoughts. My imagination runs wild to feed my erection.
With no bra on, her supple breasts are free under her cotton pajamas, the soft fabric shivers her nipples taut. She’s naughty tonight. And wears no panties. Nothing shields her sweet virgin pussy from temptation. She pulses with arousal, eager to feel a harsh thick man plunge inside her.
“Give in, Grace.” Her warmth grabs hold of my commanding cock and she sucks me into her grasp. She clenches tight, throbbing for every inch of me to fill her.
“Make me come,” I moan. Her beauty thrashes on me while waves of pleasure rush through her body. The throbbing of her pussy clasping on my cock as she climbs higher to her peak of bli
ss—
“Fuck! I’m cumming,” I yell, blasting out long and high ropes of cum. “Mother fudger,” I groan, smearing my seed up and down my shaft. Squeezing out every drop of sinfulness, I thump for more.
My heart is pounding out of my chest. I have to stop doing this. She deserves better than a weak man masturbating with dirty thoughts of her every night. I walk to the window and pull the curtain back. I’m still raging for her, but I can’t help it. I flatten my palm on the glass, reaching for my virgin angel sleeping next door. I see nothing but darkness behind the pulled shades next door.
“What did you expect?” the voice of sensibility in my head taunts. “For her to be standing at the window? Recovering from an intense orgasm over you? You mean nothing to her. Go to sleep.”
It’s time to listen to reason, so I take a moment and kneel next to the bed. Ask for forgiveness. I pray, “Lord, if she’s not the one, then let her not be in my thoughts. Have mercy on my soul. You know I can’t resist her on my own. I love her. Honestly, I lust for her in every way. Please. Remove temptation from me. Give her the lover she deserves. Send a man of God her way. Not a wretched soul pretending to be a righteous man. If it be your will, take her from me.”
He works in mysterious ways. From my kneeling position, I see a light from her bedroom turn on. Did He answer?
After that the night is endless. My thoughts are drawn back to the lusts of the flesh. She’s awake. Pining for my strong hands to comfort her. Go to her. She’s yours. Take her.
Desperation builds. This late at night, lust is in her heart too. Can I hope? Pray? It’s my thickness she desires? I’ll satisfy your every need. Come to me.
Sin consumes me. I ache to feel her next to me. To have her breath on my neck. Her lips taste my seed. I pull again and groan, filled with lust. My rigid cock thus in my firm grasp to spew again for her.
“Grace!” I cry out, cumming a second time with her smile in my thoughts. “Forgive me.” I shake, letting lose the last drops of my transgression.
Faithful Daddy Next Door: A Dominant Protector Romance Page 2