Face Value (Next Generation 7)

by Cheryl Douglas

  J.T. turned to face her, his hands on his hips, his face a mask of displeasure. “You’re willing to risk your relationship with me for a guy you barely know?”

  The question felt like a slap in the face. “What are you saying? I have to choose? If I decide to pursue a relationship with Tucker, that will change things between us?” She and her father had always been close, and the thought of jeopardizing their relationship left a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach. He had always been her rock.

  He sat down on the leather ottoman. Taking her hands, he looked her in the eye. “Honey, I love you. I just want you to be happy.”

  “I know.” She had no doubt J.T. was trying to protect her, but he had no right to dictate how she ran her life, and she had no intention of letting him trample her. “But this isn’t your decision to make. It’s mine. Whatever I decide, you have to live with it.”

  He released her hands, bracing them on either side of his thighs instead. “I don’t have to support your decision to get involved with that-”

  “Watch it, Daddy,” Lauren said quietly. The tick in J.T.’s jaw told Lauren he was trying hard to contain his frustration. “I like him. That’s what matters.”

  He glared at her a long time before he said, “I’ve always supported your decisions, but I’ll be damned if I support this one.”

  Lauren was quivering inside, but she wouldn’t allow it to show. “What does that mean?”

  “It means when this guy hurts you, and I know he will, don’t come crying to me.”

  His words pierced her heart, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he hurt her. “Don’t worry, you’re the last person I’d come to.”

  Chapter Ten

  Tucker was just settling in to watch TV when his doorbell rang. He wondered if Amanda was stopping by to pick up something one of the kids left behind, but a glimpse through the window revealed Lauren. He felt his heartbeat accelerate almost instantly. He’d thought about her and their conversation ever since she left last night.

  He opened the door, but his smile slipped as soon as he saw her tear-streaked face. Pulling her into his arms, he asked, “What the hell happened, baby?” Fear seeped into his veins. If anyone had hurt her…

  “I’m sorry to stop by like this…” She sniffled, wrapping her arms around his waist as she tucked her head under his chin. “I just really needed to see you. Are your kids still here?”

  “No, I took them home a while ago.” Tucker slammed the door and tried to breathe as his mind raced. Whatever made her cry, his only goal was to obliterate it. “Tell me what happened, sweetheart.” He stroked her hair gently, waiting patiently for her to find her voice.

  “I got into it with my dad.”

  His whole body tensed. He didn’t have to ask what they’d argued about. He already knew. “What did J.T. say about me?”

  Lauren burrowed deeper into his arms. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t care what he says.”

  Tucker hated causing a rift between Lauren and her father, but every time he tried to push her away, she kept coming back, making him want her even more. “You should care. He loves you. He just wants to protect you.”

  “I don’t need protection from you.”

  His heart expanded with those simple words. No one had ever trusted him as completely as Lauren seemed to. He always felt as though he was on guard. People expected him to screw up, and he eventually gave them what they’d been waiting for when he lost control and flew into a rage.

  He just held her, and she seemed to gain strength when she eventually raised her face and offered him a watery smile. “I didn’t mean to burden you with my problems.”

  “I am your problem,” he said with a sigh. “If not for me, you wouldn’t be getting into it with your parents and-” She silenced him with a kiss, making him smile when she nipped and licked his lower lip. “If that’s your way of shutting me up, I like it.”

  “Do you mind if I come in for a bit? I don’t want to talk about my parents… I just want to… be with you for a while.”

  She was baiting him with her sweet words and reeling him in with the promise of the happiness he could find in her arms. Tucker kept telling himself she would be better off without him, but maybe he could be better because of her. “If you think I’m gonna let you drive when you’re this upset, you’re crazy.” He steered her into the family room with an arm around her shoulders. “In fact, I’m mad as hell you drove all the way out here in this state.”

  She sniffled, reaching for his hand dangling over her shoulder. Linking their hands, she said, “It’s not that far.”

  It was too far when he considered what could have happened if her vision had blurred with the tears he’d caused. “If J.T. wants you to keep your distance from me, maybe you should think about it. You don’t have to be at the house when I’m there.” Though he wanted her to be.

  Lauren released his hand and put some distance between them before crossing her arms. “I’m a grown woman. My father can’t tell me what to do or who to see.”

  Tucker knew that was true, but as a parent, he was sure he would never outgrow the need to look out for his kids. “You need to understand where your dad is coming from, sweetheart.”

  “How can you defend him when he’s trying to keep us apart?” A tear slid down her cheek, and she brushed it away with the back of her hand. “Is that what you want, for me to just leave you alone?”

  If he said yes, he had no doubt she would. The one word that would send her away was on the tip of his tongue, on the verge of falling from his lips. When he thought about what was best for her, he was tempted to say it, but he couldn’t. He was a selfish excuse for a human being, but he wanted to know if their attraction could evolve into something more.

  “No, baby,” he said, pulling her back into the circle of his arms. “That’s not what I want.”

  “Are you sure?” She looked up at him with wide blue eyes that did him in every time.

  “Positive.” He tugged her by the hand into the living room, coaxing her down on the sofa beside him. “You want to tell me what he said?”

  He put his arm around her while she laid her head on his shoulder and rested her hand on his thigh. “He said you’re dangerous.”

  Tucker couldn’t deny that claim, but he would die before he hurt Lauren or let anyone else hurt her. “Go on.”

  “I don’t want to talk-”

  “I said go on.” He needed to know what J.T. said if he intended to defend himself and the relationship he hoped to build with the man’s daughter.

  “He said you would hurt me.”

  “Never.” That he could promise her. Tucker couldn’t trust himself not to hurt men who crossed him, but when it came to his kids or the select few women he’d cared about over the years, he was forgiving to the point of being indulgent.

  “Are you sure about that?” she asked, easing out of his arms so she could face him.

  “Yes.” It was the easiest promise he’d ever had to make. If anyone was going to get hurt emotionally, he was the one at risk. Lauren could have any man she wanted, and he had little doubt she would let him go when she tired of her blue-collar dalliance.

  “Can I ask you a question?” She bit her lip. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

  He knew where that was going. The truth may set him free, but he hoped it wouldn’t. He didn’t want to be free of her. But he wouldn’t lie to her. “I like my life exactly the way it is. I’m doing work I enjoy. I get to spend time with my kids and my buddies. I like my house…” He smiled at her frown. “I’m a simple guy, Lauren. What you see is what you get. I don’t have big dreams.” If she knew the way he’d grown up, she’d understand he was living the dream already.

  “What about a relationship?”

  “What about it?”

  She looked down at her hands, primping her cuticles instead of looking him in the eye. “Do you ever think about getting married or having more kids?”


  “No,” he said gently, covering her hand with his to prevent her from fidgeting. “I don’t, sweetheart.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  Tucker didn’t expect defining the perimeters of their relationship to be so hard. It never had been before. “I’m not looking for forever here, Lauren.” His heart felt heavy when he saw the disappointment in her eyes. “It’s really not worth risking your relationship with your daddy for a guy who can’t give you a family.”

  She pulled her hands from beneath his and inched back. “You don’t know that I want a family.”

  “I can tell how important your family is to you. I saw how great you were with my kids. It’s hard for me to believe you don’t want a guy who can promise to love you forever.” Just saying those words hurt. Tucker knew how easy it would be for her to find that. Women like Lauren came along once in a man’s lifetime, if he was lucky. If he was stupid, he let her go. If he was smart, he put a ring on her finger. But Tucker knew too well what happened when that ring locked into place. The nightmare began.

  “I do want that,” she said softly.

  “Then you should go out there and find it, baby, ‘cause it sure as hell isn’t here with me.” He knew he sounded callous, but he couldn’t give her false hope.

  “Are you saying you can’t imagine ever falling in love with me?” Her eyes captivated him, daring him to lie or look away.

  He was so close to loving her in a matter of days. Maybe he was there already. How deep would his feelings be in a year if he allowed their relationship to continue? “I love my kids. That’s it, Lauren. Those are the only people who’ll ever have a piece of my heart.” A little voice in his head called him a liar when he thought about how he would feel if she got up and walked out.

  “What about your parents? Siblings?”

  It was an innocent question, but it felt like a dagger through the heart every time he thought about his family. “No.”

  “You don’t have any family?”

  He didn’t have anyone left that he considered family. “No.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I have my kids. That’s all I need.” But with every minute he spent with her, he needed Lauren more and more.

  Her lips tipped up at the corners. “You’re such a great father, but haven’t you ever wished for a do-over?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Most parents say if they had it to do over again with their kids, they would do this or that differently. Don’t you feel that way?”

  Tucker knew he’d made a lot of mistakes with Monica and Mason, but he couldn’t erase the past. He’d already wasted too many years trying. Being in prison taught him he needed to learn to accept the things he couldn’t change and build a decent life for himself within the confines of his limitations. “Sure, I do, but I love them and they still love me, in spite of my mistakes. That’s the only thing that matters.”

  “Still, you’re not even forty. If you wanted to have more kids-”

  “I don’t!” He brushed a hand across her cheek when she winced at his sharp tone. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. It’s just…” He closed his eyes before continuing. He didn’t want to get into that topic, but if it was the only way to make her understand, he would. “People have been trying to change me my whole life, telling me I wasn’t good enough. If I did this differently, or thought this way, or acted that way, or set bigger goals, or worked harder, or…”

  “I’m sorry, Tucker.” She reached for his hand. “I never meant to imply-”

  “I know you didn’t.” He believed Lauren could learn to care about him in spite of his flaws, but eventually she would resent him for all of the things he couldn’t give her.

  “Maybe I should just go.”

  Their eyes collided, and Tucker felt his heart racing. It was the moment of truth. If he let her go, she wouldn’t come back. If he let her stay, he may never be able to get her out of his head or his heart. Did he really want to take that kind of risk?

  “I don’t want you to go,” he said quietly. He had enough regrets in his life. He didn’t want to add Lauren to the list. If he could discover everything about her in the shelter of an intimate moment and he chose not to, he would never forgive himself.

  “I don’t want to go either.” She climbed into his lap, facing him, as she linked her arms around his neck.

  “I’ve been as honest as I know how to be with you, sweetheart. If we don’t have any expectations of where this is going, neither one of us can get hurt.” Tucker knew that was a lie. He hadn’t even made love to her yet and the thought of letting her go twisted him up in knots. “Agreed?”

  “Agreed.” She kissed him deeply, driving all thoughts of tomorrow out of his head.

  ***

  Lauren knew having sex with Tucker may rank up there with the stupidest decisions she’d ever made. She already felt things for him she had no business feeling after such a short time. She knew they were on two completely different life paths, yet there they were, naked, in his bed, whispering about having sex over and over again until they were drunk on each other.

  He’d been thorough, not leaving a dip or curve of her body untouched by his hands or mouth. He was branding her, leaving an indelible impression that would haunt her the next time another man touched her. Part of her was unnerved by the intimacy they shared, but thrill eclipsed the fear when he dipped a finger into her tight heat as he licked and nipped at her neck.

  “You’re incredible,” he whispered, tugging her earlobe between his lips.

  His tongue and fingers performed magic, sending her into a sensual tailspin. In that moment, he, and the pleasure he gave her, was the only thing that mattered.

  “Tucker,” she cried, scoring his shoulders with her nails. Her hips began a slow rotation, silently begging him to finish her off. She couldn’t take much more. He’d already coaxed one orgasm from her with his mouth; the second would surely be her undoing. “Please. I can’t…”

  The force of it hit her like an avalanche. Her body trembled in response to his carefully timed strokes. “Oh, God…” No words could explain the experience of being at his mercy. He was relentless to the point of being almost brutal in his quest to pleasure her, and Lauren feared she may never be able to get enough.

  “I love watching you like this,” he whispered, kissing her shoulder as he slowly brought her back down the crest. “You’re so sexy when you give yourself to me.”

  That’s exactly what she was doing, she realized. She gave him her body, but he took even more… whether he realized it or not. He’d just absconded with her heart. It was his to treasure or to break.

  She was terrified to speak. The enormity of her realization weighed heavily, and the words she longed to say were a breath away from rising to the surface. She feared if she opened her mouth, she wouldn’t be able to hold back and her feelings would pour out.

  “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, stroking her face.

  Lauren nodded, praying the glow of the bedside lamp wouldn’t betray her. This can’t be happening, she thought. Panic threatened to consume her. She couldn’t be falling in love with a man who, by his own admission, was the worst possible partner for her. Fate couldn’t possibly be that cruel, not when she’d managed to protect her heart for so long.

  “Are you sure?” He skimmed his hand over her flat stomach, letting it rest on the curve of her hip. “We don’t have to make love if you’re not ready, baby.”

  Why did he have to refer to it that way? Why couldn’t he call it sex, so her brain might get the message their connection was supposed to be physical and nothing more? “I want you.” That much was true, but she wanted more than his body. She wanted just a fraction of the love she’d seen him bestow on his kids. She wanted a place in his inner circle, among the people who meant the most to him.

  “I want you too.” He kissed her with such tenderness tears burned her eyes. “Sweetheart, what is it?” he asked, catching a stray tear on her l
ower lash. “You’ve got to talk to me. Tell me what’s bothering you. Is it your father? Are you thinking about the fight y’all had?”

  Her father was the last thing on her mind, but she couldn’t tell Tucker the truth after his speech about the future. “I just didn’t expect this to be so… intense.”

  “We’ve got all night,” he murmured, skimming his lips over her collarbone to the valley between her breasts.

  She closed her eyes and surrendered to the buzz building in her core as he lapped at her breasts, working her into a frenzy. “Make love to me, Tucker.”

  He looked up, and his eyes held hers. “Once I start, I’m afraid I’ll never be able to get enough of you, lady.”

  “Let’s risk it.” She knew she was taking a greater risk because she’d made the colossal mistake of allowing her heart to guide her, but it was too late to turn back. She needed Tucker more than she’d ever needed another man. Her feelings shattered reason and taunted intent, but they were breathtakingly real.

  “Let’s.” He reached into the nightstand and sheathed himself in record time, never taking his eyes off her. “You take my breath away.” His eyes traveled over her body, and he brushed her long blond hair aside when it obstructed his view. “Everything about you is so damn perfect.”

  Yet I’m not enough to make you want to keep me forever. The thought startled her. She’d never thought of a man in terms of forever before, especially one she’d only known a short time.

  Tucker supported his weight on his forearms, taking his time to explore her mouth as he allowed his body to find shelter inside of her. He finally broke the kiss when he was fully immersed, breathing heavily in her ear as he tried to restrain himself.

  “You feel amazing.” She ran her fingers through his hair as she locked her legs around his waist. “Perfect.” She didn’t utter the word aloud, merely mouthed it when she couldn’t contain it. The whirl of conflicting emotions nearly stole her breath when he whispered in her ear…