He chuckled. “How ‘bout we go upstairs so you can show me?”
“But I’m dying to know what happened with your stepfather.”
“I know, baby. I’ll tell you everything, I promise.” He reached up to cup her breast, brushing his thumb over the nipple barely concealed through her thin cotton tank top. “But right now, I just need to lose myself in you for a little while and forget this day ever happened.”
***
Tucker stepped under the spray of the hot shower, pulling Lauren in with him. He held her a long time, letting the pulsating water soothe him. “I just want to wash it all away. The death, fear, anger, grief… I just want it all to go away... so I can be free. I want to feel whole so we can move on with our lives.”
As though she understood what he needed, she reached for the spicy body wash he favored, squeezing some into her hands before replacing it on the shelf. Her eyes never left his as her slick hands trailed over his body. “You are free… to be with me. Our future can be whatever you want it to be, Tucker.”
He’d always protected the people he loved so fiercely because of what happened to Sarah, but he knew that could be suffocating at times. He wanted to be free to love without the fear of losing those who meant the most to him. “I just want to feel normal.”
She coaxed him to turn around. Working the taut muscles bunching in his shoulders, she asked, “What does being normal mean to you?”
“I’ve just got so much baggage, so much unresolved garbage to deal with.” He braced a hand against the tile wall and dropped his head. He knew he had to make the offer that could turn his world upside down. He had to give her one more chance to back out before everything came to a head. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this, baby. I love you too much to drag you into my hell. When we find her, if we find her, when Sam dies…” He released a breath that shook his whole body. “I don’t know how all that’s gonna hit me.”
She stepped in front of him, her bright eyes darkening as she glared at him. “Don’t tell me you’re asking me to leave you to deal with this alone.”
He thought he’d come to terms with what had happened to his sister, but he feared her grave stone may be a constant reminder of his failings as a brother and as a human being.
“Is that what you want? You want me to leave you?” she asked after an endless minute of silence. She looked at him a long time before she said, “I won’t waste my life with a man who doesn’t need me as much as I need him.”
Tucker couldn’t speak. He couldn’t find the words to stop the runaway train barrelling through his life.
“If I walk out of here… I’m never coming back. You’ll never see me again.”
He felt a shudder move through his body until he had to hold onto the steel rod running the length of the wall for support. He couldn’t lose her. He would die without her.
“Damn it, Tucker!” she shouted, slapping his chest. “Is that what you want?”
What did she want him to say? After the mess he’d stirred up in the last few days, was she hoping he would set her free so she didn’t have to deal with it or him again?
“That’s it! I’m done with you! I can’t marry a man who tries to push me away every time things get hard. Who won’t share with me because he thinks I can’t handle it or I’ll stop loving him. If you don’t trust me to love you forever, no matter what, we don’t belong together.”
She reached for the handle, and Tucker sprang into action, seizing her wrist. Everything he’d ever wanted was slipping through his fingers, and for once, he didn’t care if he was being selfish. Lauren would be his wife, and he’d destroy anyone who tried to take her away from him.
Crushing her mouth with his, he pinned her up against the wall, taking her mouth in a fierce, possessive kiss that showed her without words that her vow to leave scared him straight. He would never give her the choice of walking out of his life again. It wasn’t an option. They would be together forever. Period.
She moaned into his mouth before pushing him back on the bench and coming down on top of him. He was inside of her in one slick slide, and they kissed each other with a depth of passion that made words pointless. Her hands were all over him, his all over her. His fists were clenched in her wet hair as he guided her mouth and held her prisoner at the same time. Their bodies moved in unison as she took him hard and fast, over and over again, breaking him before piecing him back together again.
That’s when it hit him. The only thing he needed to make him whole again was Lauren’s love. She was the answer to the conundrum of his life. “Marry me,” he whispered, breaking their kiss. “Don’t make me wait. Please. Just marry me. I don’t care when or how or who’s there. I just need you to marry me.”
“Yes…” She rocked her hips gently, a sly smile on her face when she knocked the air out of him with her ministrations. “Yes…” She clenched him harder, nipping his lip. “Yes.”
“Oh God,” he groaned, tipping his head back against the tile wall. “I’m gonna pass out if you keep doing that.”
She leaned forward, whispering in his ear, “I’m gonna come, Tucker.” She sucked in a breath when he grabbed her hips and forced her to grind, producing just enough friction to set her off.
The relief of being able to let go, totally and completely, was cathartic. He felt his hot fluid filling her as she throbbed around him. “We didn’t use protection.”
“We don’t need it,” she breathed, dropping her head on his shoulder.
“I went to see the doctor a couple of days ago… about reversing the procedure.” He’d been waiting for just the right time to tell her, and since she’d just agreed to become his wife, it seemed like the perfect time. “He said forty to sixty percent of couples get pregnant within two years after the reversal.”
She squealed, throwing her arms around his neck. “Oh my God, that means the odds are in our favor.”
He didn’t want to point out they could be one of the unlucky couples. “No matter what it takes, angel, we’ll have the family you want.” He tucked a wet strand of hair behind her ear.
“We already have a family,” she said, smiling. “A big, loving, slightly crazy family.” She grinned. “And you’re stuck with them whether you like it or not.”
Tucker chuckled. “I don’t mind.”
“And I love your kids. They’re my family too.”
His heart tightened when she talked about his kids that way. “They love you too.” He eased her off his lap and stood, gripping her waist and smiling when her legs seemed a little shaky. “Monica asked me the other day when you would become their stepmother officially.”
Lauren grinned. “How does three months sound to you?”
It was Tucker’s turn to be stunned. “You can’t possibly plan the kind of wedding you’ve always wanted in that amount of time.” Though he’d gladly marry her tomorrow. All she had to do was say the word.
“Anna and I were talking, and she suggested their private island in St. Thomas. You know, the place where she and Justin met.”
“Is that the kind of wedding you want?” he asked, frowning. “You’ve always talked about a church and flowers and having your daddy walk you down the aisle.”
“I think this would be perfect.” She kissed him. “It wouldn’t take forever to plan, and you have to see this place. It’s paradise.”
“Anna and Justin wouldn’t mind if we beat them to the altar?”
Lauren wrinkled her nose. “My cousin told me she would throttle me if I insisted on holding off on our wedding just because of theirs.”
Tucker grinned. “I knew I liked that girl for a reason.”
***
Tucker felt torn between two worlds. They had found his sister’s remains. They were about to lay her to rest. His heart was broken, grieving for her in a way he never had before. His rage over what had happened to her had been so overpowering, he hadn’t allowed himself to mourn. Until now. Yet the woman sitting beside him, holding his hand, made him so
grateful. Tucker had no idea he was even capable of feeling two such strong and conflicting emotions at the same time.
“Are you okay?” Lauren whispered, stroking the pulse point on his wrist with her thumb.
Tucker looked around the small church. A year ago, he didn’t even know most of the people filling it, yet they were there to support him simply because Lauren loved him. That was reason enough for them to accept him into their hearts and their lives.
“I think so.”
When Derek called with the news their search paid off, that Sam’s map led them directly to the grisly discovery, Tucker was torn between weeping with relief and putting his fist through another wall. Later that day, when Lauren returned with a covered box, Tucker began to process his feelings.
Apparently Derek had accompanied Lauren to Tucker’s childhood home, and Lauren collected a box of things she believed Tucker would want to have: photos, stuffed animals, and letters that belonged to Sarah. They sat in a place of honor at the front of the church, and Tucker knew it was finally time to let go of his sister so he could move on. He would never forget her or stop loving her, but Lauren and his kids deserved his best, and he couldn’t give them that while he was still wracked with guilt.
Tucker was just a child back then. He was scared and alone. He wasn’t the cause of what happened to Sarah, and she wouldn’t want him to blame himself. They’d always been close. She’d loved and protected him unconditionally. It was his turn to guard her memory and make sure she was never forgotten.
Lauren suggested they start a charitable foundation in her name. She said their close family friend, Sierra Turner, could help them navigate the process. Tucker loved the idea. It would be another step closer to healing.
He’d been so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn’t realize it was time to leave until Lauren tugged on his hand with a sad smile, inclining her head toward the dozens of people already filing out of the clapboard building.
“Are you ready to head home, sweetheart?” Lauren asked.
They were having a small, private service by the meadow before their family and friends joined them at the house for a luncheon. Lauren had made all the arrangements, and Tucker had no doubt it would be perfect.
Tucker and Lauren drove back to their house in her car, while his kids rode with Amanda. The silence was a welcome relief, and Lauren seemed to understand that. She didn’t press him to talk.
Tucker reached for her hand when she turned the car off. “Thank you for doing this,” he said, watching the attendants walking to the appointed burial site. “It means… everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” she said, following Tucker’s gaze. “I’d do anything to help you find peace. You know that.”
He thought about her statement a long time before looking at her. “That’s what you’ve done.” He skimmed his knuckles down her cheek. “I didn’t know how to explain it. I knew the tightness in my chest was starting to ease, but I didn’t realize I was finally at peace until I woke up this morning. Facing the worst day of my life, I wasn’t terrified of how I might react because I knew you’d be there to see me through it.”
“I’ll always be here for you. No matter how bad things get.”
He pulled her into his arms, inhaling the sweet, familiar scent that would forever remind him of home. “Let’s hope the worst is behind us, baby.”
“It is.” She kissed him softly, rubbing her thumb over her lips to remove the remnants of her lip gloss. “I know it is. Our worst days are behind us and our best days lie ahead.”
Epilogue
Three Months Later
As Lauren stared out over the water, hidden under the cloak of darkness, she couldn’t believe it was her life. She’d never been happier. In fact, she didn’t even realize being so happy was possible. Tomorrow she would marry her best friend, her business partner, her lover… her everything.
Strong arms came around her waist, and she tilted her head back with a smile. “You’re supposed to be spending the night at Justin’s house with the boys. My mama’s gonna kill you if she comes out here and finds you snuck out.”
Tucker pouted, looking utterly adorable. “I hate sleeping by myself. I miss you.”
Lauren smiled. She hadn’t been able to sleep either. It was their first night apart since they’d moved in together, and she missed him. “I miss you too.” She grinned. “But just think, everyone’s going home tomorrow. We’ll have the island all to ourselves.”
“I can’t wait.” An appreciate moan escaped his lips as he nudged her backside, proving just how much he was looking forward to some alone time. Their friends and family had been on the island with them for ten days, and even though J.T. knew they were living together, Tucker had been careful not to cross any lines around his future father-in-law.
Lauren thought it was sweet that the two most important men in her life were finally bonding, especially after their rocky start. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”
Tucker laughed. “Are you kidding? I’ve been counting the minutes.”
She ran her hand up his forearm, a smile teasing her lips. “I’m a little nervous.” She tried to suppress a smile when she felt his whole body tense.
“What are you nervous about? You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” His heart started hammering against her back, and she almost took pity on him. “Jesus, answer me, woman. Are you having second thoughts about us?”
Lauren sank her teeth into her bottom lip and bit down hard to keep from laughing out loud. “Tucker… I don’t know how to say this…”
He sucked in a tortured breath. “Whatever it is, just say it. If you don’t want to go through with this…” He held her tighter. “You can tell me. I’ll be okay with whatever decision you make.”
Lauren frowned, her amusement quickly turning into irritation. “You will?”
“Hell no! I’m lying through my teeth. If you don’t want to marry me, it’ll kill me.”
She turned into his arms. “Don’t you know by now there’s no way I’m ever gonna let you go? Like it or not, you’re stuck with me.”
Tucker growled as he picked her up and spun her in a low circle. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“Where’s your sense of humor?”
He set her down, settling his hands on her waist. “I don’t have a sense of humor when it comes to shit like that.” The darkness in his eyes told her he was deadly serious. “Don’t ever joke about leaving me. It’s not funny.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, dropping a placating kiss on his lips.
“Now what the hell are you nervous about?”
“Walking on the beach in those shoes. What if I twist my ankle?”
Tucker rolled his eyes and raised his palms skyward. “Go barefoot. What difference does it make?”
Typical man. She wanted to remember every detail of their wedding day and she wanted it to be perfect. “Don’t worry, I’ll figure something out.”
Someone cleared her voice from the shadows, and Lauren knew they were both in trouble. Judging by the expression on her mother’s face, big trouble.
Nikki set her hands on her hips and glared at Tucker. “What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to see her on your wedding day.” Nikki tapped the face of her diamond encrusted watch. “It’s officially past midnight. It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride, you know that.” Tucker turned that mega-watt grin on Nikki, but she just rolled her eyes, pointing her finger at him. “Don’t even try it. I’m immune to your charm, Brooks. Now get your butt back to that house before I have to call in reinforcements.”
Tucker chuckled before stealing one last kiss from Lauren. He walked by Nikki, his smile still firmly in place, and he reached down to brush a kiss across her cheek. “I think I’m gonna like having you as a mother-in-law, even if your daughter did inherit her mile-wide stubborn streak from you.”
“Hey!” both women said at once.
“If I weren’t so stubb
orn, we wouldn’t be getting married tomorrow,” Lauren reminded him. “When you sent me away the first time, I would have taken you at your word.”
Tucker pretended to consider that a minute before he looked at Nikki. “Your daughter’s right.” He pulled her into a tight embrace. “Have I told you lately that I love you?”
Nikki threw her head back and laughed, slapping Tucker on the back before she said, “Go back to Justin’s and get some sleep.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He gave her a loud, smacking kiss on the cheek.
Nikki watched Tucker walk down the new path joining the two houses. Justin jokingly referred to it as their family compound.
“That man of yours is something else,” Nikki said, shaking her head. She stepped up to join her daughter by the railing fronting the raised deck.
“He is, isn’t he?” Lauren couldn’t wipe the smile off her face when she thought about her fiancé. She’d had that smile ever since he slipped the ridiculously large diamond on her finger. Thinking about their future just made her happy.
Nikki hugged Lauren hard before gripping her shoulders and holding her at arm’s length. She studied Lauren’s eyes and the expression on her face before she said, “Don’t take this the wrong way. You know how much I like Tucker, but are you sure this is what you want?”
Lauren didn’t take offense. Her mother thought she was doing her duty, looking out for her daughter. “I’m positive, not a doubt in my mind.”
“I’m so glad to hear you say that.” Nikki’s eyes welled up with tears. “I always hoped you’d find a love like this.” Nikki slipped an arm around Lauren’s waist as they turned back to the water. “Are you worried about whether y’all will be able to have a family?”
“No, we’ll figure it out.” Even if Tucker’s reversal next month wasn’t successful and they didn’t get pregnant within the next couple of years, as the doctor predicted, they would find another way.
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