by Wilde, Ora
Away from the dance floor.
Away from Finn.
Away from the crowd who, just a few minutes ago, were chanting my name.
Finn held my arm before I could flee.
“Andrea... what’s going on?” he asked.
I didn’t answer. I yanked my arm away from his grip and I started to run.
Run as fast as you could, Andrea! Get out of there quick!
The crowd didn’t part for me the same way they did when my name was announced as the Homecoming Queen. I had to squeeze my body through the throng between me and the exit, bumping into them, pushing them away...
I couldn’t hold off my tears. I started to cry before I could even leave the area. A lot of people saw me sobbing, almost hysterically.
Finally, I found my way out. I ran through the hallway, towards the main entrance, towards the parking lot.
I had to reach my car.
I had to get home.
I had to forget about this night.
For I felt I was falling.
Into the darkness.
Into depths unknown.
And how I wished it would consume me entirely and make me disappear from this world of pain and shame.
22
Shock…
Run...
That was the only thing in my head at that moment.
That was the only thing I allowed myself to think.
Run...
Away from the shame that befell me.
Away from the life I knew that crumbled before my eyes.
Away from the man I used to love... the man who’d be most hurt by what just transpired.
Away from everything. From everyone. From this stupid and cruel world.
I reached my car and hurriedly looked for the keys in my pouch.
Shit!
After everything that has happened, I never imagined that something would make that evening even worse. But I left my keys inside the vehicle. I peeked inside and I saw the cluster, still dangling from the ignition. I slammed my fist on the window. I heard something snap. The alignment most probably, the same alignment that Nash fixed to make it work.
I turned around to check if anyone was following me. The angry mob. The unknown perpetrator of the deed that led to my humiliation. Finn.
No one was there. Just the darkness of the parking lot, illuminated by a solitary lamp post.
I rested my back against the door of my car. The reality of it all quickly sank in. My secret, revealed in the most ignominious way possible. My social life, in tatters and beyond repair. My dignity, used like a plaything for someone else’s pleasure, at the expense of my self-worth.
It should’ve been the best night of my life, a night I allowed myself to enjoy before I was to deal with the matters that needed to be arranged. It turned out to be a nightmare.
An ache.
Prodding.
In my belly.
I rubbed my womb, trying to determine if everything was okay. It was too soon. I was barely a month into my pregnancy. I shouldn’t have that kind of a symptom.
Another poke.
I continued to caress my tummy as tears dropped from my eyes. It’s okay, I whispered, we’ll get through this. We’re so much stronger than this.
A voice. From behind me. Female. Familiar, but different. Softer. Gentler. Kinder.
“I told you this was going to be an unforgettable night,” she said.
“What do you want from me, Kyla?” I replied.
I should’ve been furious. She was responsible for the indignity that happened to me. She made that video and waited for the right time... just the exact moment... when I was announced as the Homecoming Queen before she played it.
I should’ve been furious. But I wasn’t. My mind was messed up. My body was weary and weak. I felt too defeated to be mad.
“Haven’t you done enough damage already?” I asked her, with nary a tinge of anger in my voice. Just vanquishment. Utter and complete vanquishment.
“What are you talking about?” she responded confusedly. “Oh... you think that I’m responsible for what happened inside, huh?”
“Who else could it be?” I sullenly questioned her. “You always made life very difficult for me. You never liked me.”
She chuckled.
“Until two days ago, no one really liked you,” she said.
“Well, no one would ever like me now,” I told her. “Are you happy?”
She went to my side and rested her back against my car as well. I was looking straight ahead, into the blackness of the parking lot. She was staring at me.
“Listen... a cock spraying cum inside my mouth... that would make me happy,” she spoke. “But to see a girl downtrodden like that? Nah. I may not have class, but I do have a heart.”
What?
Could it be possible that Kyla - the school’s resident bitch - a title she’s very proud of - and the girl who has been flirting with Finn for years was not actually responsible for the event that led to my humiliation?
“But those weird things you always whispered to me...” I started to say.
“They were warnings,” she quickly replied.
“Warnings?”
“Oh, you silly girl. I always knew what was happening. I felt that I had to give you some clues so that you can figure them out for yourself. Unfortunately, I think I credited you with a little too much intelligence.”
Figure things out for myself?
I turned to face her. I wanted her to know how much I desired to learn the truth.
“What do you mean, Kyla?” I begged for an answer.
“Finn and Jaynie had an affair,” she responded, with the casualness of a soccer mom buying a soda from McDonald’s.
“What?”
“I said Finn and Jaynie had an affair. Behind your back.”
I was shocked by what I heard. It wasn’t because my suspicions were finally confirmed. It was because Kyla knew, and if she had knowledge about it, others did, too. Yet, no one told me about it.
“Had?” I asked her, wondering why she used that verb in the past tense.
“Yep. For two months. As far as I can remember, it started last February. It ended about a month ago.”
A month ago? That was the time when I caught them in Finn’s room.
“You poor girl,” she continued. “You had no idea, didn’t you? No idea at all. Well, for some reason I don’t know, Finn broke up with her. But Jaynie... well, Jaynie’s not used to rejection. She wanted her back. Desperately. I guess that’s why she plotted your downfall.”
So it was Jaynie who recorded and played that video?
“Why... why are you telling me this just now?” I wanted to know.
“Because I pity you,” she said. “Listen... everything you’ve heard about me? Those are probably true. Yeah, I sleep around. Yeah, I collect men for my little black book. I take pictures of their dicks too.” She paused to giggle. “But I never... NEVER... sleep with guys who are already taken. There’s no fun there. Just guilt. I fucking hate feeling guilty.”
I abhorred being pitied.
It was a reinforcement of my weakness, a testament to how pathetic I really was.
But at that time, I found comfort in her sympathy. I despairingly needed to connect with someone... anyone... just to remind me that I was still breathing... that I was still alive... that I will still get to see a future better than now.
“How could Jaynie be so mean?” I asked aloud... a question that was supposed to be rhetorical.
“Oh, she was always mean, trust me,” Kyla affirmed. “Behind that angelic face is a demon who would do anything just to get what she wants.”
“She didn’t have to go to that extent,” I morosely said. “Finn and I are done. We’ve ended our relationship since last month.”
“Yes, but he’s not over you, is he?” she asked with a wry smile.
I couldn’t answer her question.
“When you guys broke up,” she proceeded to say,
“Jaynie thought that she could finally have him for herself. But Finn didn’t want to get back together with her. I guess he realized who he was truly in love with. That got Jaynie all crazy and mad. So... she did that stupid stunt earlier.”
“But Jaynie...she was always nice to me,” I tried to doubt. “She was the only one who welcomed me to the cheerleading squad. She was always patient with me...”
“Oh you poor, gullible thing,” Kyla replied, rather mockingly. “Remember that saying? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?”
I shook my head, in sorrow and anger and disbelief. All of Kyla’s disclosures... they all made sense. Too much sense that I found them very hard to accept.
“Andrea!” someone suddenly called out.
It was Finn. He was running across the parking lot, towards us, towards me. A rush of anxiety surged through my body. He followed me. He wanted to talk to me. But I didn’t know what to tell him. I wasn’t ready to reveal the truth.
“Speaking of the two-timing devil,” Kyla whispered, rather amusedly. “This is gonna be interesting.”
Finn was panting as he stood before us. He bent over to rest his hands on his thighs as he tried to catch his breath. He was sweating profusely. He was still wearing his tuxedo coat and it was a humid Saturday evening.
“Are you alright?” he asked, worriedly, as he looked up to face me.
I couldn’t look straight into his eyes.
“What happened there...” he continued, “that was... that was not right. Why would anyone say that you’re pregnant?”
Kyla raised her eyebrow. Her curiosity was piqued. She prepared herself to listen intently to our conversation.
“Andrea, do you want me to catch whoever was responsible for this?” he offered. “We can file a complaint. That person can be expelled from school.”
“There’s no need, Finn,” I told him. “I already know who she is.”
“She?” he asked, bewildered by what I said.
“And there’s no need to file a complaint against her,” I added.
“Why? She did something wrong. She ruined your reputation because of something she invented.”
“She didn’t invent anything, Finn,” I said as I swallowed some air. I tried to muster enough courage... enough strength... for what I was about to tell him.
“W-What do you mean?” His voice was trembling, as if he already knew the answer but was very afraid to accept it.
I closed my eyes, fought off the tears that were starting to drop, and spoke.
“Because it’s true,” I said.
He didn’t say anything.
I opened my eyes and I saw him... I saw the sadness on his face... a sadness so terrible that it crushed my heart. And the way his body has sunk said a lot. It was like all life was sucked out of him, and the only thing that remained was a cold, empty shell.
“I-I’m sorry, Finn,” I uttered as I bowed my head in shame and remorse. The tears I have tried to ward off began to trickle.
“Since when?” he asked gloomily.
“A month,” I said.
He didn’t have to compute. We never had sex before, which made my revelation even more painful for him.
“W-Who’s the father?” he finally mumbled the question I dreaded to hear.
I couldn’t answer.
I didn’t want to answer.
“Andrea!” he screamed. “Tell me! Who’s the father?”
I wiped the tears from my eyes with my arm. He was demanding to know. And I didn’t have the guts to tell him.
So I ran once more.
Away from him.
Away from it all.
He followed me. His stride was faster. In a matter of seconds, he’ll be able to catch up, and he’d confront me once again, and he’ll continue to press for an answer.
I looked back and saw him giving chase. Kyla was running with him.
A few feet away from the main road, a pickup truck suddenly stopped before me, blocking my path.
The driver’s door opened, and out he came. Seemingly a savior. Seemingly a hero.
He was the guy from the grocery store a few days ago. The man who helped me jumpstart my car. He was still wearing that dark green jacket that made him look very rugged and manly.
“Hey, fancy seeing you here,” he greeted me with a smile.
Then he saw my tears and realized that I was running away from someone. His smile disappeared, replaced by a serious look.
“Are you in trouble?” he asked, his voice was filled with concern.
I couldn’t respond. I didn’t know how to react. I wasn’t in trouble, but I just wanted to get away... away from him... away from the goddamn school that has surely condemned me.
He saw Finn and Kyla behind me. He grabbed my arm and led me to the other side of his truck.
“Get in,” he firmly said, with so much conviction that I wasn’t able to refuse his offer.
And so I did.
I slammed the door shut and locked it. I saw the man go back to the side of the road, waiting for them to approach.
“Hey bud,” he greeted Finn. “Is there a problem here?”
“Who the fuck are you?” Finn asked, irate at the stranger who he felt intruded on our affair.
“Well, I can be a friend,” the man said with a confident grin. “Or I can be your worst nightmare. You choose, bud.”
Fury possessed Finn. He drew his fist and struck at the man who tried to protect me. Deftly, he eluded Finn’s blow. He grabbed Finn’s arm in the middle of his punch, then kicked his midsection so hard that Finn collapsed on his knees.
Kyla started screaming.
I covered my mouth in shock.
“I told you, bud,” the man began to say, still with smug smile, “I can be your worst nightmare. Now, do leave my friend alone. A lady deserves her space.”
He left Finn there, on the ground, clutching at his breadbasket. Kyla knelt beside him, trying to determine if he was okay. The man went back to his truck and we drove off.
For a minute inside his vehicle, we were silent. I didn’t speak and he didn’t force me to say anything. He knew that I needed some time to process everything that has transpired. He was really a nice guy, just like how Aunt Susan described him.
Finally, when we took a right at Middletown Road, he began to talk to me.
“Crazy boyfriend?” he asked.
“Ex,” I corrected him. “Did you have to hit him?”
“He was persistent,” he explained. “I thought he wanted to hurt you or something.”
I didn’t reply. Finn was hurt by what he discovered earlier that night. I couldn’t blame him for being angry, for being desperate for some answers. He didn’t deserve getting kicked in the stomach. But I also understood why the man who was driving the truck reacted the way he did.
“Should I bring you home?” he wondered.
I wanted to say yes, but I was afraid. Nash would be there. And my folks too, most probably, if the movie they watched has ended. They’d see my tears. They’d ask what happened. And I can’t endure more questions that night.
“In a while, maybe,” I told him.
“As you wish,” he replied as his gaze was fixed on the road and he continued to drive.
“Where were you headed?” I questioned. I didn’t want to be a burden to him.
“Nowhere in particular,” he remarked. “Do you always accept rides from strangers?”
I slightly laughed at his comment. It came out of nowhere, and the way he asked it was so casual, so dead pan, that it was actually funny... a welcome respite from the stressful night I was having.
“No, no I don’t,” I answered.
“Then why did you ride with me?”
“Because you’re a gentleman,” I told him. “My stepmom said so herself.”
“Really now?” he responded with a smirk. “If things get sour between her and your dad... heaven forbid... tell her to call me. Maybe we could hook up or something.”
&nbs
p; He actually made me laugh, something which I thought was impossible that night.
A few minutes more and we turned right at Cedar Ravine Road, then left at Paydirt Drive. It was then when I started feeling anxious. It was a long, long way from home. Paydirt Drive was at the outskirts of the city, and it was a very dubious neighborhood at that. The Bad Side of Town, as it was called. The dark alleys, the groups of guys huddled in corners, the empty roads, the burning tires, the condemned buildings all over the place... all of these sights just confirmed everything I’ve heard about the area.