Everybody Knows

by Kyra Lennon

  The lights came back up and Jason caught my eye and winked before stepping back up to the mic. “This is our last show in Europe for a while, and normally, our set would be over. But we do have one more song for you tonight. This song is a special one, and it’s never been played live before, but… it’s not really for me to introduce.” He turned to Drew who had risen from behind his drums and began to make his way to the front of the stage.

  “What…?” Ellie murmured in my ear, and I laughed at the confusion on her face.

  “Just wait.”

  Jason slapped Drew on the back before stepping back and taking his brother’s place behind the drums. Drew cast his eyes nervously over the crowd as he placed his hands on the microphone Jason had left in the stand for him. His hands trembled, and I silently willed him to relax and do what he needed to do. Ellie couldn’t take her eyes off him, and as his gaze met hers, he smiled.

  “I don’t come out here very often,” he said. “Truth be told, I’m a lot more comfortable at the back playing the drums, but tonight there’s something I want to say.” He took a deep breath. “A year ago, you may remember, there was a lot of drama within the band. I don’t want to dwell on that because it’s over, but I couldn’t have got through it without one particular person. Those of you who have followed the band for a while already know who I mean.” He smiled again, casting his eyes back to Ellie. “My Ellie.”

  Ellie stumbled a little, bumping into me, and I laughed and linked my arm through hers to keep her upright.

  “Ellie has been my rock, my strength, my best friend, and the only person in the whole world who knows everything about me. Weirdly, she still loves me.” A small ripple of laughter echoed around the room. “Ells, I couldn’t do any of what I do without your support. Can you come up here?”

  Her eyes widened and she looked at me. “What do I do?” she hissed.

  Laughing out loud, I said, “Go!”

  Knowing how Ellie felt about being in the spotlight, I understood how tough it was for her to climb onto the stage, but it would be worth it, even if she didn’t know that yet. The audience cheered loudly as she stood beside Drew and he kissed her then took her hand.

  “A year ago, you were going to do something amazing for me, Ells. And I should have done this back then, to show you how much I love you. I’m going to do it now instead.”

  He grinned at her before turning to Mack and giving him a brief nod. The opening to bars to Nobody Knows began and Ellie gasped, covering her mouth with her free hand. Again, shivers rippled through me, and when Drew started to sing, my goose bumps multiplied. His voice was amazing. Deep and husky, but in a different way to Jason’s. Jason’s voice was designed for rock tracks, but Drew’s was softer. Ideal for ballads like this. It wasn’t just his voice that made the moment special, though. It was the twinkle in his eyes when he looked at Ellie, and the tears in her eyes as he sang the lyrics that meant so much to them. My own eyes prickled with tears as I watched them; the perfect couple with the perfect relationship. Or the relationship that was perfect for them – I doubted any relationship was truly perfect. But I knew for sure they were meant for each other.

  I felt Jason’s presence beside me, and I turned to him, blinking away my tears so he wouldn’t think I was a wuss. He chuckled and took my hand, weaving his fingers through mine.

  “You big softie,” he whispered.

  I nudged him hard in the ribs. “How can you not be moved by this? It’s beautiful.”

  He nodded, and when I looked into his eyes I knew he saw it too. “It sure is.”

  We turned our attention back to the stage and watched as Drew finished the song, and the crowd once again erupted into loud cheers. Ellie wrapped her arms around Drew, and he clung to her for a moment before stepping back to the mic.

  “One more thing. Then I promise you can all get back to drinking.”

  The crowd laughed and raised their beer bottles in appreciation, and Drew once again turned to Mack. Mack placed his guitar on the floor and went to the side of the stage, grabbing something in his hands and carefully bringing it to Drew.

  “Oh my God!” I threw my head back when I realised what it was.

  Jason squinted, trying to figure out what the misshapen object was. “What in the name of hell is that?”

  “You’ve never seen that before?” Jason shook his head, still staring at it, tilting his head sideways as he tried to figure it out. “It’s… art.” I snorted out a laugh when Jason looked at me like I was crazy. “Ellie and Drew attempted to make pottery a while back. When they first got together. They apparently got distracted, and that ugly thing was the result. Ellie said she couldn’t bear to throw it out, but she thought it was tucked away in her bedroom cupboard. Drew stole it so he could do this.”

  We focused back on the stage, where Ellie had her hands over her mouth again as she stared, not just at their masterpiece, but at the item nestled on the top, where the hole for the vase would have been if they hadn’t made such a mess of it. I couldn’t see it too well from where I stood – and if not for the lights bouncing off the diamond, I wouldn’t have spotted the ring at all.

  “Eleanor Jane,” Drew said, taking the ring from the vase before placing the ugly pottery on the floor. “I love you so much. I’ve loved you for a long time. Longer than you know. I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. Will you marry me?”

  The smile that spread across my sister’s face made my tears fall harder, and she nodded. “Yes. Hell yes!”

  Drew placed the ring on her finger to another round of applause and whistles, and I turned to Jason and flung my arms around his neck. His hands slipped around my waist, and he said, “I’m reserving the first dance with you, Luce. So make sure any boyfriend you get between now and the wedding knows the deal.”

  His words shocked me so much I jumped away from him and stared into his eyes. He grinned, and I wondered for a second if he was teasing me. But he pulled me back into him, and said, “It’s tradition for the best man and the bridesmaid to have the first dance together.”

  I narrowed my eyes sceptically. “You sure about that? Also, you’re assuming an awful lot. What if they don’t pick us?”

  “Then I guess I’ll just have to take you as my date.”

  My heart shimmied inside my chest, but I still wasn’t sure I should take him seriously. Maybe. His eyes weren’t dancing with amusement the way they usually did when he was joking, but the likelihood of him truly meaning it was slim.

  But he was still looking in my eyes as if waiting for an answer, so I smiled. “It’s a deal.”

  **

  After the post-show routine of showering and changing, we all headed out to the restaurant Drew had booked in advance to celebrate the engagement – nobody could accuse him of not making an effort! The mood around the table was fantastic, and everyone was laughing and joking around as we ate.

  “I’ve been thinking,” Joey said, as he finished up the last of his steak. “Proposing with a vase is maybe the gayest thing I’ve ever seen.”

  A chorus of laughs burst out around the table, and Drew said, “Cheers, mate. You couldn’t have brought that up before, when I told you what I was planning?”

  “Nah. I thought it’d be funnier this way!”

  Ellie placed her hand on Drew’s arm. “I thought it was perfect.”

  Drew tilted his chin, his face oozing mock smugness. “See? Ellie thought it was perfect!”

  “She’s just being polite,” Mack teased. “You should have done something manly like…” When he paused, unable to think of anything, we all laughed again.

  “Struggling there, buddy?” Jason asked from his seat beside me. “You might want to take some tips from a real man!”

  “Oh yeah? What have you got, Action Man?”

  Jason held up his hands shook his head. “Forget it. It would be wasted on you guys.”

  “No, come on.” Drew chuckled. “Educate me, little brother!”

&n
bsp; I raised an eyebrow in Jason’s direction and he smirked. “All I’m saying is, romantic stuff is well and good, but women don’t want or need that all the time.”

  “For a proposal we want the romantic stuff! No woman wants to be proposed to at the same time as being clubbed over the head and dragged back to the man cave,” I told him as more giggles echoed around the table.

  “You tell him, Luce!” Mack said, raising his beer bottle in my direction.

  The grin that crossed Jason’s lips set my insides on fire and he winked at me. “You’ve never been to my man cave. You might like it.”

  The heat in my cheeks threatened to burn the whole table to ashes, so I whacked his arm and turned my head, but shifted my eyes back towards him, unable to stop myself laughing. “You’re an idiot.”

  “But you love me.”

  Yes. Yes I do.

  I rolled my eyes at him and reached for my glass of champagne. I hadn’t had nearly enough to drink to conjure up another witty response, so I swallowed some more of the bubbly instead.

  Once the laughter simmered down, we broke off into our own little groups to talk and, of course, eat dessert. When we were done, Drew and Ellie left the table to pay, and I headed to the ladies’ room. As I was about to turn the corner towards the overly grand staircase that led to the toilets, I heard Ellie’s voice and stopped dead.

  “I don’t like this,” Ellie said, then sighed loudly, ending it with a growl. “This is so messed up. She’s my sister, and Jason’s my best friend. I want them both to be happy, but… together? I know it’s what Lucy wants, but I don’t know if she can handle it. Him. The reality of what being with him means.”

  “I know, Ells. I know. Maybe bringing her on tour was a bad idea.”

  “Maybe. But if this was going to happen, it would have happened anywhere.”

  My brow furrowed as I tried to understand their conversation. Because, believe me, if anything had actually happened between Jason and me, I would have remembered.

  “I don’t think anything is going on,” Drew said. “Not physically, anyway. I don’t think Jason would be stupid enough to try anything. He knows you’d kill him.”

  “He’s impulsive, Drew.”

  “So talk to him. Try to make him understand.”

  “Understand what, exactly?” I asked, turning the corner to confront the two people who were inexplicably trying to control something that – as far as I was concerned – wasn’t even an issue. And even if it was an issue, what right did they have to interfere? As I stared them down, they jumped apart, guilt covering their faces.

  Drew glanced down at Ellie. “I’ll leave you to it.”

  “No, you can stay,” I told him. “Both of you seem to be involved in this, whatever this is, so you can answer my questions.”

  “Lucy-” Ellie began.

  “Wait.” I held my hands up. “Why are you two out here whispering about me and Jason? If there is something you want to ask me, then just ask. Not that I have anything to tell you, which is why I’m so confused right now.”

  Ellie flicked her eyes towards Drew, in much the same way my mum looks at my dad when there’s something uncomfortable she wants to discuss. She closed her eyes and leaning back against the ornate wooden bannister behind her. “You weren’t supposed to hear any of that.”

  “Obviously. But I did.”

  I kept my stare firm on her. I knew she would cave if I glared hard enough, but more than that, she knew she owed me an explanation which was why she kept tugging at the sleeves of her top and avoided meeting my eye.

  “What do you think is going on, Ellie? And what does Jason need to understand?”

  Again, Ellie looked to Drew for help, and he took a step towards me. “We’ve noticed you and Jason spending a lot of time together.”

  “You mean you’ve noticed,” I said. “Ellie’s only just got here.”

  He at least had the grace to give an embarrassed nod. “Okay. I noticed.”

  “I noticed too,” Ellie added. “It’s hard not to.”

  “Have you seen where we live right now? I can’t avoid him, can I?”

  She raised an eyebrow. “How much time have you spent with Mack or Joey? Or me, for that matter?”

  “Oh, that’s what this is about? You think I haven’t spent enough time with you? I thought you might want to be with Drew on the first day you got here!”

  “It’s not about me, it’s about you!”

  “I still don’t know what I’ve done!”

  “You haven’t done anything.” Drew gave Ellie’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, silently telling her to calm down. “But we’re worried that you getting closer to Jason is going to cause… problems.”

  “For who?”

  “Both of you.”

  I shook my head. “This is total crap. Nothing’s happened between us. I don’t know why you’d think it would.”

  “The late night talks, the hugging, the hand holding. You don’t think that’s a sign?”

  “Ellie holds hands with Jason, and hugs him, and has stayed up all night talking to him. Do you think she’s trying to screw him too?”

  Ellie’s head snapped up, her eyes narrow as Drew stiffened.

  That was a low blow and I knew it, but she and Drew had suddenly turned into my parents, and I still didn’t know why. I shouldn’t have taken a swing at Drew’s insecurities about Jason though. They were much better than they used to be, but he needed no reminder of how bad things used to be.

  “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.” I took in a long breath. “But if you have a question, you should have spoken to me, not talked about me behind my back.”

  They both knew I had them there. Ellie and Drew had had enough people talking about them without checking the facts to know how shitty it felt, and as the realisation seeped into them, Ellie sighed. “You’re right. And I’m sorry too. It’s just… when you left home, I thought this would be okay. I knew there was a chance it wouldn’t be, but I trusted you and Jason to do the right thing.”

  I held my hands up again. “Ellie, please. Can you please start making sense?”

  “I know you, and I know Jason. Every now and again he gets a look in his eye that usually spells trouble. He sees you differently now, Luce. I’m scared he’ll cross the line with you, and if he does that, I’m certain it won’t end well for you.”

  I didn’t need to ask why. Jason had never been in a long term relationship. Honestly, I couldn’t recall him being in a short term one. His main focus was his music, followed by having a good time, followed by his relationships with the people closest to him. Maybe his family and friends ranked higher than they used to and were more on par with having a good time, but the point was, aside from those things, he didn’t care. If he now counted me amongst the people he felt closest to, I was lucky. But I’d witnessed him hurting those people time and again, even though he hadn’t always meant to.

  “Ellie, you’re not telling me anything I don’t know. I listened to the things you said before I left. And now I know him better. I’m not going to stand here and promise you that if something does happen, I won’t let it. But I can promise you I won’t let it take over my life.”

  I was lying and she knew it. Not intentionally, of course. I liked to think I could handle my feelings, and that I could be a grown up about anything that might happen between Jason and me. In reality, my insides fizzled with the idea he might feel something for me. My eyes glazed over for a second as I allowed myself to imagine kissing him, touching him, and the way his hands would feel on my skin. The mere idea of his lips on mine set my head spinning and my heart pounding.

  “You keep telling yourself that,” Ellie said. “But I know better. I know how it feels to want someone that much when you think they don’t want you too. It hurts every single second.”

  “I’m not the same as you. I don’t feel that way.”

  I didn’t. Not as intensely, anyway. Jason had been with me a lot of the time, so I never felt the disc
onnection Ellie had once felt from Drew. And Drew was a lot different to Jason. Jason didn’t hide his feelings; he was openly affectionate and sweet. Drew had learned to be openly affectionate, but it wasn’t natural to him. He opened up once he knew Ellie loved him too, but he would never have given it up if she hadn’t made the first move. Their situation was not my situation.

  “Maybe not. But you feel something, and that’s dangerous.”

  “I can’t talk about this with you.”

  I didn’t mean to be so blunt, but I didn’t want to spend another second discussing my potential heartbreak. I was trying to have the holiday of a lifetime, to experience amazing things, and to live in the moment. This was the equivalent of a large black cloud over my good time, and I wanted it gone. I wanted a strong breeze to blow it away and bring back my sunshine.

  “I love you, Ellie, and I appreciate your concern. I promise I won’t forget the things you’ve said but this conversation is over.”

  Turning on my heel, I walked back through to the restaurant and re-joined the rest of the band. As I took my seat beside Jason, I shuffled my chair slightly away from him, hoping he wouldn’t notice. Damn Ellie and Drew for making this awkward.

  Why did they have to do that? Why did they have to interfere in something that hadn’t been a problem until they made it one?

  “What’s up, Luce?”

  All I could do was shake my head since Ellie and Drew were walking towards us, both of them looking less than happy and a tad guilty. So they bloody should. Because of them I didn’t feel comfortable talking to Jason anymore. Not while they were around, anyway. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him. Instead, I picked at the remains of my cheesecake, pushing it around with my fork and praying we could leave soon so I could hide away in my bunk to vent my frustration in my journal.

  Thankfully, it was less than fifteen minutes before everyone was ready to go, and we began the short walk back to the bus. The whole way I must have been giving off bad vibes because nobody came near me. It wasn’t like I was spitting with anger. If anything, I was kind of sullen. Emo. Not much like myself at all, but since the good parts of the evening had been snatched away by my overprotective sister, I didn’t feel like bouncing around and having my usual easy chatter with the guys.