I already had three employees. Working for Drew—doing the books for Sensual Secrets—took up very little of my time. I worked there only a day or two each week, and that was mostly to make sure that Ginny didn’t slide back into her old habits. I’d spent over a year cleaning up their financial messes, and I’d automated their ordering and billing systems.
Drew, my beloved husband, had no trouble with the way I’d set up the business. Ginny, his best friend and business partner, was a fan of scribbling things on scrap paper and forgetting all the details that weren’t directly related to making cakes. If not for her, then I would be able to do that job remotely, as I did with most of my other clients. Drew had converted one of the rooms on the main level of our house into an impressive office. He was very proud of my successes.
In response to his question, I shook my head.
“Sophie, don’t be a martyr. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing is wrong.” And nothing was wrong. I had no idea why I was in a foul mood. I didn’t want to subject Drew or anybody else to it. They did not deserve it. Being shut up in my office was probably the best thing I could do for either of us. Numbers soothed me. “I think I’m going to work today.”
My mind went to work, rearranging my schedule to be able to get more done this week than I’d originally planned.
“I don’t think so. We’re supposed to be at Sabrina’s house by three. You’re going to help me make something to take over there, and then we’re going to spend the day hanging with our friends.” He shoveled a huge spoonful of cereal and fruit into his mouth, which he washed down with a swig of coffee. “So why don’t you tell me why you have a grumpy cloud floating over your head, raining all over what’s been a nice weekend so far.”
I put my hand over my abdomen and played the woman card. “I’m just not feeling up to it. Why don’t you go and have a good time?”
He poured himself another mug of coffee. “So whenever anybody wonders where you are, you want me to tell them you’re PMS?”
“Cramps.” I sighed as I corrected him. “I’m not PMS.”
“Yeah, like I’m going to abandon you when you’re needy. Bitchy—yes. In pain—no.” He set a refill down for me too.
“Thanks.” I bought time by imbibing some caffeine. “You can say I need some time to myself.”
He laughed. “That reeks of drama. C’mon, Sophie. Spill. Is it last night?”
“Last night?” I frowned, trying to figure out what he was driving at. “What happened last night?”
Sitting back, he regarded me casually, but I knew him too well to be fooled by his facade. He was rattled.
“Drew, did something bother you last night?”
“Nice try, sweetheart. I mean Alaina getting pregnant. Are you thinking you want a baby?”
When Drew and I first met and he was trying to tear down the wall I’d built around my heart, I’d limited our relationship to mostly sex. One time the condom had broken. It coincided with my period being late, and we’d thought that perhaps I’d been pregnant.
I shook my head. “Nope. I’m looking forward to being an aunt, but that’s about the extent of my interest.”
At my denial, he visibly relaxed. “Then what?”
How to phrase this without making him think I wasn’t willing to meet his needs? I cleared my throat. “It’s been months since we’ve played with a third. Are you tired of having them?”
He set down his coffee mug, took mine from me, and set it down too, and then he took my hand in his. “I’m not tired of having them, but I can’t handle Livia alternating between trying to move in here and being an icy bitch. And you know why we can’t have Christopher over anymore.”
Chris had been my submissive for longer than I’d known Drew. So had Livia. Where Livia had become needy and clingy—hating herself and us for it—Chris had become impossible. He pushed bratty to a whole new level. I think he needed a 24/7 situation to truly be happy, and I could not provide that. I was a Domme primarily in the bedroom.
Drew had finally put his foot down when he realized that Christopher left me drained, but not in a good way.
“I know, Drew. It’s just that I think you’d like having a man around.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Sophie, if you don’t want to—”
I cut him off with an assurance. “No, I’m fine with what we did this morning. I just think you need more than a woman with a strap-on to be happy.”
Drew shrugged. “I’m happy, Sophie. You’re the one in a funk. Maybe you need a sub to boss around and tie up.”
Perhaps I did. Perhaps this was all in my head. Or maybe Drew was just trying to make me feel better. After all, he was a generous man when it came to me. But before I could think too hard on that, he pounded the table with his fist.
“This is about Neal, isn’t it?”
I’d jumped when he’d made such an unexpected, violent gesture. “Neal?” I hadn’t forgotten him, not at all, but I hadn’t been thinking of him. Well, maybe a little. He was handsome, sexy, and we both found him attractive.
Drew pressed his lips into think lines. “If I hire Neal, that means he’s off-limits. If I don’t hire him, then he’s off-limits anyway. Whenever you bring the possibility of a job into the mix, sex goes out the window.”
I blinked at his vehement reminder. I knew his opinion on all this. Yet I leaned forward. “You hired me and slept with me.”
“That’s different. You’re my wife.” He frowned, and I could tell he was close to losing his patience with me.
“Not when I first started working for you.”
He waved his hand, dismissing what I’d said. “I knew I was going to marry you.”
On another man, that kind of confidence would be off-putting, but on Drew, it seemed natural. He generally got what he wanted. “Well I didn’t.”
This time when he got up, he took our bowls to the sink and rinsed them. Then he drummed his fingers on the marble countertop. Cupboards banged as he opened and closed them. “What do you want to take to Sabrina and Jonas’s? I think Jonas is grilling stuff. Maybe I’ll make up foil packets of diced potatoes. Nobody makes them right.”
“Sabrina wants you to bring lemonade. She said that Rose keeps asking for yours.”
I wasn’t sure what he did to make it so good, but I knew what Rose was getting at. She might only be three, but she recognized greatness when it tickled her taste buds.
He nodded, which was the only response I got on that front.
“Drew? Are you angry with me?”
His back was to me. He made several gestures that indicated he was upset, but he only opened and closed more cupboard and drawers, extracting the ingredients he needed for food preparation. Finally, he pulled out a cutting board and settled down.
“I’m not mad. I know you need your submissives. You know I need an occasional roll in the hay with a man. This just shouldn’t be so complicated. What about that Elysium place that Ellen wants you to buy with her, Sabrina, and Samantha? I bet we could find someone there.”
I wanted Neal, but it looked like I wasn’t going to get him. “We probably could. We need to check it out anyway. Did you want me to book us a flight?”
He set to cubing potatoes with amazing speed and accuracy, putting on a show because he knew I liked to watch. “Yeah. I’ll need to look at my calendar to see when we can slip away.”
The normal devilish excitement that should have accompanied that statement was absent. I think he wanted Neal too.
Chapter Four
Sophia
Sabrina’s house was smaller than mine. When I first met her, I never thought I would have the occasion to say that. She could afford more, but she and Jonas were happy where they were.
Now that Sabrina had taken a leave of absence from her high-pressure marketing job, she had several projects going on. One of those projects was a new back deck, and so our usual get-together had been temporarily moved to the patio next to the pool. She had a sm
all house out there with a bathroom and kitchen, so it was the perfect place to hang out.
The pool was gated, so the smaller children couldn’t get in there without adult supervision. The only kid old enough to swim without a lifejacket and an adult within reaching distance was Ricky, Jonas’s nine-year-old nephew. The rest of the kids were under five. Sabrina and Amanda, Jonas’s sister and Ricky’s mother, were in the pool, chatting as they pushed floating babies around in the water.
A couple of the five-year-olds attempted the dog paddle in the shallow end where Ryan, Ellen’s husband, hung out with Richard, who was Amanda’s husband.
Jonas and Ellen were two of my oldest and closest friends. They’d literally saved my life. Drew had mended my soul, but I doubt I would be here if it weren’t for them. They also got the credit for taking me under their wings and teaching me to Domme.
I sat on a blanket set in the shade of a huge maple tree. Ellen was there with her youngest, Emily, who was playing Rose. The children ran up and threw themselves at me, their form of a tackle-hug. Then they scampered away to play on a small climbing structure.
Ellen hugged me. “Hey, stranger. I haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks.”
But I had talked to her electronically. “I’ve been busy. Last week we went to Minneapolis. Drew’s sister, Lila, has finished up her residency. She’s thinking of moving back to Michigan. Then Drew did a few appearances, and the network had an award ceremony in Atlanta. We stayed an extra night and had a nice time.”
Lifting one thick, dark brow, she grinned suggestively. “How nice?”
I knew what she was driving at. “Not like that. We went out to dinner, hung out with some people he knows there.”
“Eh.” She had lost interest. “You told me that already.”
“I know. Did you think I skimped on the details?”
“I was hoping to live vicariously through you.”
Ellen had a wonderful husband who was also her devoted submissive. She had everything. I envied her a little bit, but I wouldn’t trade or change Drew for the world.
I snorted. “I noticed that Ryan is wearing a shirt in the water.”
“I worked him over pretty well last night. He slept like a baby. I told him he didn’t have to go into the chlorine. I’m going to end up putting antibiotic salve all over him tonight, and he’ll probably get off on the pain. At least he won’t be sunburned.”
Ryan was a fair-skinned redhead. He was tall and skinny, full of freckles and life. He made an interesting foil for Ellen, who sported a full mane of dark hair and a body with curves that wouldn’t quit. With her striking looks and her confident stance, she attracted attention and commanded a room. I’d modeled myself after her from the start.
I missed having a sub. That pang led me to glance at Drew, who was chatting with Jonas, probably about the food. Despite his protest that he didn’t need a full-time male lover around, I wondered if he felt the same void when it came to having a man to touch.
“Have you given any thought to the proposal Lex and Stef sent?” Ellen’s question brought my attention back to her.
Alexei and Stefano Morozov were the Masters of Jonas’s sister, Samantha. They were also Sabrina’s stepbrothers. Wealthy beyond belief, they had taken up the case for purchasing Elysium. Ellen wanted to. Lex and Stef wanted to invest in the property for Samantha. Drew had consented to buying into it for me, but I didn’t want his money.
I knew it irked him that I maintained separate accounts and used the money I earned to pay my bills. Though I let him pay for the gas and electric, and several other services that contributed to the upkeep of the house, I didn’t let him pay for my clothes or personal items. Part of me didn’t quite believe I’d married a multi-millionaire.
The rest of me was terrified of becoming dependent on what may well turn out to be a dream. Even our wedding had been fairy-tale themed. I never wanted to wake up from this fabulous vision, but that didn’t mean I’d stay asleep forever.
I shook my head at Ellen’s question, but I wasn’t telling the truth. I had given it thought. I’d run the numbers, and this wasn’t something I could afford on my own. Drew would definitely need to kick in a boatload of cash to make this happen for me. Lex and Stef had put together a meticulous proposal detailing the required investment from each party and where that money would need to be spent. Elysium was in need of style and structure updates.
“It just seems like so much work. I have my business. You have yours.”
“I sold mine. We closed Friday.”
The news shocked me. Ellen’s parents had created that club, and it had earned her family an international following in the BDSM community. When she’d inherited it, Ellen had promised to continue the tradition.
I gaped at her while throwing a nod of greeting at Jonas, who had joined us. “What about the promise you made to your parents when you took over City Club?”
She considered my question with the appropriate gravity. “They wanted me to uphold our family’s honor and reputation. This way, I’m expanding it. The fetish community has exploded since my parents created City Club. Maintaining the status quo isn’t enough. Plus I’m tired of running it. There’s no challenge anymore. The new owners have a vision for how they want to update it. I want to move on to something invigorating.”
Telling her that I didn’t have the cash wouldn’t fly. Drew had been vocal about his support. “I’m not sure about this. What if it all goes sideways and we lose everything?”
She snorted. “It won’t. Lex and Stef wouldn’t pour this much into an investment that isn’t going to be another cash cow. They like huge profit margins.”
“What did Sabrina say?”
Like me, Jonas had also married into money. According to him, Sabrina had more money than she knew what to do with. Lex and Stef managed her investments, though Sabrina had the final say and knew exactly what was going on with her money. Unlike Ginny, whose money the Morozov brothers also managed, Sabrina was interested in understanding her finances.
Jonas sat on another corner of the blanket. Rose threw herself at him, squealing, “Daddy!” and wrapping her arms around his neck. He peppered her face with kisses, which made her giggle and smile, and then she returned to playing with Emily.
He fielded my question. “Sabrina wants to do it, but she doesn’t want to handle the day-to-day. She’s willing to take on marketing and promotions.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to take on a venture this large that could suck up time and attention I’d rather give to Drew. Just then, the target of my affection sat on the grass behind me. With three adults already on the blanket, there wasn’t space for more. He managed to scoot close so that we were touching. My tactile man.
I threw my response into the distractions Rose and Drew had caused. “I haven’t decided.”
“Decided what?” From Drew’s sly grin, I figured he already knew the answer to his question.
“Whether or not I want to buy a BDSM resort.”
No hesitation on his part. “Go for it. If Stefano and Alexei have checked it out, then it’s a solid investment. And you have great business sense. It’ll be fine.”
I loved his faith in me. He had enough of it for both of us. Suddenly, I was seized by the enormity of what this man meant to me, of what all the people present had done to help me turn my life around and become a whole woman. I nodded. “All right. I will.”
Ellen squealed and fell backward in a dramatic and badly faked faint.
Jonas grinned and rolled his eyes at her antics. “It looks like we got us a resort. I’ll call Lex tonight and let him know he can move forward with the deal.”
Bits of fear and excitement floated through my bloodstream, taking me by surprise every now and again by surging straight to my heart. I spent the rest of the day having mini panic attacks, and I did not like it.
When Drew and Jonas called us for dinner, I was knee-deep in conversation with Sabrina about a notebook she used as a shared journal wit
h Jonas. I’d heard of using this method of communication, thought I had never used it myself. I’d never had a real relationship with any of my submissives. Drew did not submit to anyone, and he had no trouble discussing anything regarding sex with me.
Sabrina had struck me as ultra-uptight from the first moment I’d met her. It had taken me a little time to get to know her before I understood what Jonas saw in her. Once I’d passed that “aha” milestone, I could appreciate why he’d fallen in love with her. She might be uptight, but that stemmed from deep feelings of inadequacy she worked hard to hide.
“Some things are getting easier.” She twisted the end of a strand of hair around her fingertip. “I like how nothing I put in there is going to lead to a fight. It’s difficult to be honest when I’m only thinking about how my opinion of something is going to hurt his feelings.”
She was one of those lucky submissives who had a Dom who existed to make her happy. Jonas might be arrogant and dominant, but he never made a move without her in mind. Plus, he was one of the easiest people to talk to that I knew. Something about him invited confidence.
She was also the only submissive I topped with whom I did not have sex. Every six weeks or so, she would schedule a session with me. I’d work her over and send her home to Jonas. Often she looked like she wanted to ask or say something, but she never did. At least Jonas had found an outlet for her.
I smiled indulgently. “You can’t worry about that. He needs to know what you’re thinking and feeling. Communication is key.”
“I know, but…” She trailed off, a wistful expression on her face. “If he said anything to you about me staying home with the kids, would you tell me?”
Her question took me by surprise, but I gave her an honest response. “I wouldn’t tell you anything he confided in me, the same way I wouldn’t tell him anything you said. I would urge him to talk to you, though. Why would you think he would say anything to one of us and not you?”
Hanging On 2: Surreal Neal [Awakenings 6] (Siren Publishing Ménage and More) Page 3