by Raven, Sandy
She nodded.
“This does not mean you can leave the grounds yet. I know you wish to go into the village to shop, but wait for my return. Until I know for certain he’s gone, I will take no chances with you or our child.”
“Fine. I’ll wait,” she said. Remembering something, she added, “Mrs. Steen said in the letter I received yesterday that the rest of my new clothing arrived from the modiste. Could you bring them with you when you return?”
He nodded, and when she turned to go back to join the other women, her husband held her from behind, placing his hands over her growing belly. “Hopefully the new dresses will have enough room for my child to grow.”
“That’s why I had her make new ones. I’m afraid I’m getting as big as a cow.”
He held her closer. “You are not as big as a cow. This is my child growing in here,” he said as he stroked her belly, “and he needs more room to move. At least that’s how it felt last night as he stretched and turned.” He turned her in his arms and planted a kiss on her cheek. “You are beautiful, wife. Never forget that.”
“I’m glad you think so, because it’s you’re fault I’m getting big.”
Elise traveled to London to meet him for the funeral of their cousin, Lord Thomas Whitby. The rest of the family remained behind at Haldenwood.
Both he and Michael identified the body as that of his cousin. Ren then sent a letter to his aunt in Cornwall. Within days Thomas’ body was in the ground and Ren began to feel a great weight lift off his back. It was a freedom he had not felt since before the death of his father and stepmother. There was a small measure of happiness mixed with that relief, and he felt as though the future was finally looking up for their family.
Upon his return to Haldenwood, Cartland’s added security detail was allowed to return to Town, as Ren now felt confident enough to travel for work again, leaving his home with just their staff to protect the family.
The warmth of summer gave way to an early fall, and Lia felt her body stretch to tremendous proportions. Dr. Prescott arrived for a short stay each month, primarily to visit with Lia and Lady Sewell, but also to do some shooting with her husband. The physician was pleased by her continued good health, which also pleased her husband of course. And, at each visit Ren made certain that Prescott left with a basket of cook’s fruit tarts.
Approaching her seventh month, Lia was now restricted to the house and the formal gardens which were closest to the home. Prescott explained to her his reasons for wishing this, which she understood, even though she disagreed. She’d already spent most of the past five months close to home or indoors and unable to travel. Her husband agreed with the doctor, saying he wanted to make sure his wife and unborn child were safe.
So she filled her days by teaching Luchino and Sarah reading and writing, geography and mathematics. Even little Sarah, now five years of age, was beginning to add and subtract. Lia did this by making learning fun for the children, creating games for them.
When she wasn’t giving the children lessons, she was doing her needlework. Once the baby’s gowns and napkins were completed, she began embroidering the Caversham coat of arms to be hung in the nursery.
Her sister-in-law spent a great deal of time, indeed most of every day, out of doors. Even when it rained, she worked on her project, spending time in the library making notes in ledgers, and creating charts for creating a new bloodline of horses. This was not normally something considered appropriate for a young, unmarried lady, but Ren seemed to think prohibiting her outright would only serve to have her do it behind his back. Her husband said he’d prefer Elise be supervised by himself or their head groom, rather than have her work at her project clandestinely. Because he felt her idea had merit, and he didn’t want Elise getting hurt, he made sure she was always accompanied by qualified grooms who could assist.
Lia had hoped that as time passed Elise would warm to her, if not becoming a friend, at least not continuing with the indifference toward her. When in the company of her brother or grandmother, she was the epitome of kindness and propriety. But when left alone, she completely ignored Lia, a couple of times even walking away when Lia had asked a question of her, as though she wasn’t even in the same room.
This was not something with which she wanted to burden her husband. Lia knew she had to give Elise time to become accustomed to the idea of having another woman in the house, one who by law and in the eyes of the church was now mistress of the younger woman’s childhood home.
Perhaps the birth of her brother’s child would be the catalyst to bring them together. Lia hoped so, for her sister-in-law’s sake. She realized after her own parents’ sudden deaths that life was too short to waste time in enmity.
Her husband’s grandmother, Lady Sewell, on the other hand, was a delightful conversationalist, once Lia became familiar with the woman’s strange accent. Lady Sewell was also a fair chess opponent. The older woman taught her and Luchino to play whist, a game which she had a difficult time mastering, and backgammon, which Lia became proficient at during the course of one evening. Lady Sewell led her on walks through each of the gardens she’d restored.
“I had to have something to do when I got here you see, and the gardens had been neglected a bit. They were tended, but unchanged since my daughter’s death. So I decided to do some sprucing up.” She laughed heartily. “Much as Prescott thinks I’m about to cock up my toes, I showed him. You see, I’m a long way from meeting my maker, lass.” The older woman hugged her. “I have a great-grandchild to meet.”
Several weeks later, on a cold late-November afternoon, Lia set the embroidery hoop on the seat beside her. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back, then side to side, stretching her neck. Embroidery was such tedious work, but she wanted to finish this last crib blanket before the babe was born. She wriggled her fingers, hoping to get the feeling back. They had long ago become numb.
A footman entered her sitting room and stoked the fire, adding coal and coaxing it back to life. When the man left the room, Lia’s head snapped up upon hearing her husband’s voice ask after her whereabouts. She turned, smiling at Ren, who returned the greeting.
Leaning down he placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Good afternoon, wife. How are you feeling?”
“I feel miserably bloated, thank you. And yourself?”
“I am perfectly wonderful, thank you for asking, though I must leave for London immediately,” he said. “My valet is packing for me as we speak.”
He turned from her and made a display of warming his hands by the fire.
“Again?” she asked softly.
“Yes. It is only for a week, at most.” Ren knelt before her on the settee. “Hopefully, after this, I won’t have to make another trip to Town until after the babe is born.” He rubbed Lia’s enormous belly. “How is my son today?”
“Our babe is doing well, and is very active.” She stared at her husband’s handsome face, her eyes growing wide and a smile forming. Taking his hand, she placed it on the side of her belly, and held it there until he felt the movement. “I will be glad when this is over,” she said.
He gave her a half-smile, then stood and went back to the hearth. “I’m sure you will, my sweet.” He looked as though he wanted to say more, but didn’t. Lia hefted her bulk up from the settee, and came to stand before him. She hadn’t seen him so worried in months. In fact, she’d thought just the day before how she’d never seen him so relaxed as he had been these past weeks.
She placed her hand over his heart. “All is well here, you needn’t worry about us.” Then, she lifted his hand and set it onto her belly.
Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close.
“Is there something upsetting you?” she asked.
“No,” he replied. “What makes you think that?”
“You seem different. That’s all.” He turned away, unwilling to meet her gaze. What was this mood of his? When he entered the room he seemed happy enough. What had changed?
“
I love you, Lia.”
Now she understood. These were the words she had longed to hear, and now that she had, they didn’t bring the instant enthusiastic joy she’d thought it would. Nor did it validate her being, or the emotion she’d been holding inside for the past five months. “I know you do,” she said. He looked at her curiously. “I have known it for months now.”
“How...?”
“You have shown me daily you love me,” she leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “And I have tried to return my love to you in the same manner, thinking when you are ready you will say the words, freeing me to finally tell you in return.
“I love you, my husband. I have for quite a while.” She stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers. “But something still troubles you. I can see it. Please tell me?”
He shifted and kept his hold of her. “It is not, nor has it ever been, easy for me to put my feelings into words, but I felt I must tell you because as you get closer to delivering this babe I realized...” He trailed off, his fear evident. “I mean... Thomas is no longer a threat, but I could still....”
“Still what?” she prompted him.
“I could lose you,” his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “My mother died giving birth to Elise, and I watched my father grieve deeply for her. I don’t want to go through that.”
“You will not. I shall be fine. Both Dr. Prescott and Grandmother say I have hips made for the task of birthing.”
“Also, I didn’t want you to think I didn’t...” he cleared his throat again, “that I didn’t love you. Because I do. I have. For quite some time now.”
A tap at the door separated them, and Lia called for the person to enter. Her husband’s valet cleared his throat as he set a large leather pouch on the table.
“The luggage is in the coach, and it awaits us in the drive, Your Grace,” he turned and walked away, leaving the two of them alone.
Turning her chin up, he pressed a kiss on her forehead. “While I am away, you are not to leave the house. Is this understood?”
“Not even to the garden with Grandmother?”
“Not even that. It is getting much colder now, and there’s the possibility you could slip on ice. Or catch a cold or worse. No. Stay indoors where it is warm and safe. Please. For me?”
It wasn’t until she promised not to go outdoors, that he turned and left.
Ren resumed reviewing the shipping company’s ledgers. The accounting from the last shipment from the Indies was turning out to be one of their most profitable. That should have pleased him. But he couldn’t get his mind off the green-eyed beauty carrying his child that he’d left behind at Haldenwood. He loved her, and the realization scared the hell out of him. He’d never really loved a woman before. Not like this.
Oh, he loved his mother, grandmother, stepmother and sisters. He cared for and enjoyed the company of several female friends. At one time, he’d thought he cared for Margaret.
But this? This kind of love was something new to him. It was an all-consuming need. And it didn’t come without its price—the constant worry for her well-being and happiness.
Then there was the matter of wanting to be with her all the time. A strange sensation pooled in the vicinity of his heart whenever she was near. It quickened his pulse and tightened his chest, constricting his breathing. Simply being in her presence, whether she played a game with the children, sat with his grandmother as they stitched needlework before the fire, or read in his office while he worked, made him feel content.
He loved her strong, calming presence, and wished he were back at home with her. After his two meetings tomorrow, he just may be able to leave London behind until after the babe’s birth.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
After dining with the children in the nursery, Lia sought out the company of her grandmother-in-law. She wandered down to the saloon, hoping to catch her in a game of whist or backgammon with Elise, or perhaps reading. Instead, she learned Lady Sewell had retired early, feeling a bit under the weather. She found Elise reading in the library and thought maybe she could use the opportunity to become better acquainted. God alone knew how much she wanted a friend.
During the months at Haldenwood, she’d learned she had to approach Elise carefully. When her husband was home, he was the buffer between them and her sister-in-law seemed genuinely nice, even friendly. But when Ren was not home, Elise was distant and took great pains to avoid her. So as not to appear obviously seeking her out, Lia went to the bookcase and spied a title of interest, which happened to be on the top shelf. She made a half-hearted attempt at reaching it and considered climbing the library stool, but didn’t want to chance falling.
Breaking the tomb-like silence of the room, Lia said, “Excuse me, Elise, could I trouble you to get a book down for me?” Her sister-in-law gave her an irritated glance and stood. Lia put one hand to her low back, the other to her tightening belly. “I would fetch it myself if I were not afraid I’d lose my balance.”
“If I get the book for you, will you leave? I can’t concentrate with you mulling about.” Elise’s beautiful golden-flecked brown eyes blazed with impatience and animosity.
Elise could have slapped her and it would have hurt less. She didn’t know where to begin to build a relationship with her husband’s sister, even after living under the same roof for the past seven months. Now that the seasons were changing and the days were shorter, Elise was indoors more than out as the weather didn’t always cooperate with her riding and training of her many horses.
“I’m sorry to have troubled you, Elise.” Lia gave her a half-hearted smile and turned for the door. From out of nowhere, a fresh barrage of tears threatened to fall. She took a deep slow breath to suppress them, then turned to leave. “Perhaps I should turn in and leave you to your solitude.”
From upon the stool, her sister-in-law turned to her and called out, “Which book was it you wanted?”
“I’ve changed my mind,” her voice trembled as she said the words. “Goodnight, Elise.”
Lia made for the door quickly so she wouldn’t witness her upset because Lia didn’t want the girl thinking she hit her mark with her barbs. When she reached the steps, a footman followed closely behind “in case she should fall,” as he’d often told her. She composed herself quickly, because Ghita was sure to notice if she was upset and be full of questions.
Lia found it cowardly that Elise only behaved this way when there were no witnesses. When in the company of the rest of the family, or even if a servant was present, she never said such things. Tomorrow, when she was less tired, she’d have to confront her sister-in-law and get to the bottom of what was troubling her.
Once in her room, Ghita dutifully helped her change into her dressing gown. Lia sat at her desk and began to plan Luchino’s and Sarah’s lessons for the morning. Her maid gathered Lia’s stockings and chemise to be laundered, when she noticed Lia rubbing her belly. “The babe moving?” Ghita asked in their native tongue.
“No. The muscles tighten every so often. The doctor said I should expect this. He said it’s my body getting ready for the birth.”
“Shall I have the butler send for His Grace?”
“No. I have another month before the babe’s due. Besides, in his last letter His Grace said he would be home soon.”
Ghita left, and Lia began to cry again. “Oh, these unending tears,” she said to the empty chamber. She wanted her husband. What was keeping him away so long this time?
The following evening Lia sat across from Ren’s grandmother as she lay in her bed, not feeling well as the cold and damp weather settled in hard. Lia read to her from a book on horticulture and when Lia thought she slept, the older woman would surprise her by adding a comment or two concerning the methodology of growing certain types of plants. During one of her monologues on grafting and the creation of new subspecies, Lia’s mind wandered. It had been almost two weeks since her husband left for London and she wondered what was keeping him. In his last letter, h
e said an emergency had come up in Cornwall with his aunt and it necessitated a visit. She prayed he made it safely and found things much improved when he got there, so that he might get home to her faster.
Lady Sewell opened her hazel eyes. “My dear, what’s troubling you?”
“Nothing ma’am,” Lia lied, unable to hold the other woman’s piercing gaze. “I am well.”
“Balderdash. You’ve read the same paragraph three times. Twice and I could understand you lost your place, but thrice?” The woman shook her gray head. “Something is not right, and I demand to know what it is.”
Lia explained about Ren’s unplanned trip to Cornwall, and tried to smile. “I miss him. The longer he’s away, the more insecure about his sentiment I get.” Lia stroked her belly. “I know it’s the babe that’s making me weepy, for I have never been given to tears in this way before.”
“Aye, carrying a babe will do that,” the old woman nodded reassuringly. “Don’t worry, dear. If I know anything about my grandson, it’s that he loves ye, and he’ll be home soon.”
“Hopefully before the babe makes his entrance,” Lia said as she waddled to her own room across the hall.
Ren rode up to the modest, neat cottage outside Falmouth in which his aunt resided, her husband’s family having moved her out of the main house when her second husband, Admiral Linley, died shortly before his own father’s death. Now residing alone here with none but her two servants, the woman was slowly losing her hold on reality.
His emergency visit came after an urgent message arrived from her manservant and cook, a husband and wife who came highly recommended as caretakers. He needed to see to this situation himself, as it wasn’t something he felt he could pass off on his man of business. Growing up, this aunt was a particular favorite of his, as she and Thomas lived at Haldenwood after her first husband killed himself upon returning from his commission. Several years later, she married Admiral Harold Linley, after his wife died leaving him with three daughters to raise and no relations to care for them while he was at sea. She married him, thinking a career military man would be a good influence on Thomas.