Ghost Sickness

by Amber Foxx

  Lonnie put cold white bread on a plate and took a stick of butter from a sloshing cooler. He had a gas stove, but no electric hookup for his toaster or refrigerator. Buttering the bread tore it, but he did it patiently. He served the eggs and bacon onto the same plate, except for two strips of bacon, which he put on a smaller plate and delivered to Montana before bringing his breakfast to the table. He sat across from her, indicating that Jamie should join them. Jamie took the place beside Montana, and Lonnie closed his eyes and said a prayer in Apache.

  “Now,” he said to his guests, “you two need to talk.”

  Montana nibbled a slice of bacon, avoiding Jamie’s eyes. “I’m really, really sorry I hit your van. I shouldn’t have been driving.”

  “Yeah,” Jamie said, “you shouldn’t have. Lucky you lived, the shape you were in. But your insurance’ll take care of the van.”

  “It won’t.” Her voice shrank and she dropped her hands to her lap.

  “What?”

  “I don’t have any.”

  “You don’t have fucking car insurance?”

  Lonnie tapped the table in front of Jamie softly. Jamie tried to rein himself in, but he was rattled. “Jeezus. I’ve heard of not having health insurance—”

  The old man gave him a look, sipped his coffee and cut his egg into tiny pieces, dipping his bread in the yolk. The thick lenses of his glasses were spattered with grease. Jamie wanted to take them off and clean them for him, but it probably bothered Jamie more to look at them than it did Lonnie to look through them.

  For some reason, this minor annoyance took the edge off the big one. Jamie unclenched his fists, rippling his fingers. “All right. No insurance. So, what’s the plan?”

  “That’s better,” Lonnie said. “Listen to her.”

  Montana slid him a grateful yet uneasy glance, then talked down at her plate. “Will owes me money.” She crumbled the bacon, placed a piece in her mouth, and chewed it. “I helped him with his bills, but then I ran out for paying mine. He didn’t pay me back yet. When he does, I’ll repay you what it costs to fix your van.”

  “You think bloody fucking Will Baca is going to pay you back?” Jamie stood abruptly, and his thighs collided with the edge of the table. “Ow. Fuck.” He strode to the open door and the fresh air. “His ex-girlfriend—”

  “He has money coming. It should be a lot, seriously. I can’t tell you where he’s getting it, but—”

  Jamie spun to face her. “You bloody well can. My van is worth more than Will Baca’s word. You expect me to settle for this? Some secret source of money I may never see?” He caught a disapproving look from the medicine man. “Wait. Did you tell Lonnie?”

  She nodded.

  Jamie stared at the presumably wise old man.

  Lonnie said, “Think about it. From your heart.”

  “My heart says I’ve been fucked.”

  Jamie stepped outside and sank onto the foldout steps, shivering in the morning chill. A raven croaked in a nearby tree and traffic rumbled past on Route 70. Lonnie wanted him to be compassionate. If he let himself, he would feel Tana’s pain. The poverty, the loss of love, the desperate need to be rescued. He’d been through it all himself, and not that long ago. It was the fact that Will was behind Tana’s problems that outraged him.

  He could claim the damage on his insurance, though he’d have to pay a deductible and his rate might go up. Since he wasn’t buying a parrot, he had the money to cover it. However, she seemed to think he could pay cash for the whole repair and not claim it and wait for her to pay him back. It might make her feel as if she had her life in order and that she’d taken care of things. Psychologically, it would do her good, but then Jamie would be taking the money from the big dark secret. If she ever got any.

  Montana came out to sit beside him. “I don’t remember much from last night, but I do remember how you held me when I was crying. It’s like a light in the fog. You were so kind.”

  “People crying get to me. So, don’t cry now, all right?”

  She half-laughed. “I won’t.” She twisted the hem of her shirt and sighed. “I wanted to apologize for what I said about Mae. Lonnie told me I said it. I don’t know how I got that idea.”

  “You remember talking to Reno last night?”

  Montana squeezed the twisted wad of shirt and shook her head. “What’s he got to do with it?”

  Jamie recalled his own words on the Geronimo credibility. “Mm. Nothing. Just asking if you saw him. Don’t suppose you remember anything related to my tent?” He was sure she hadn’t vandalized it, and yet he had to double-check.

  “No.” A look of alarm crossed her face. “Did I do something to it? Did I puke in it?”

  “Nah. Somebody cut it up.”

  “That’s awful. I was crazy, but I wasn’t that crazy. And I wasn’t mad at you.” She sighed and got to her feet. “I feel awful about the van. Can I pay you back when Will pays me?”

  Jamie took his hat off, shook his hair, and put the hat back on. “Feel like I’d be receiving stolen goods or something.”

  “It’s nothing that bad. No one’s getting hurt. And Will has no other way to get the money. He can’t ride for a long time and his parents flat-out told him not to come home. They said he’s pulled the prodigal son act one too many times. He’s got no choice. So, neither do I.”

  Not long ago Jamie had been injured, unable to play his instruments. It had sent him off the deep end. Unable to do rodeos, Will had to be going crazy as well as broke. And Letitia had that foolish divorce settlement. Struggling to hold onto land and horses wasn’t the same as being penniless, but having to give up animals she loved would be heartbreaking. And Montana was innocent of anything other than falling for a wanker.

  “Lonnie knows where the money’s coming from?”

  Montana nodded. “He won’t tell you.”

  ”Didn’t think he would. Just spinning the moral compass. He’s north, y’know?” Jamie closed his eyes and let the needle spin in his heart. It came to rest on an answer, a decision, but it vibrated with uncertainty. “How about you repay my deductible? That’s all the money I’ll be out. Take your time, though. I’ll be in touch.”

  Montana thanked him with a kiss on the cheek.

  When she’d gone, Jamie went back inside, lingering near the open door for bacon-free air. “You believe Will’s going to pay her?”

  Lonnie looked up from his breakfast and took a sip of coffee. “I believe that he said he would.”

  Silence except for the clink of Lonnie’s fork against his plate. Jamie leaned against the wall, not sure what to say next. Lonnie finished his last bite and dabbed his mouth with a napkin. “Come in. Sit down. Tell me what happened to your tent, and why you asked Montana about Reno. She’s hungover. She didn’t pay attention. But I did.”

  Jamie squeezed into the little bench and met Lonnie’s bacon-spattered lenses more than his eyes. “Would you mind if I cleaned your glasses for you?”

  Lonnie took them off and wiped them on his shirt, then laid them on the table. His eyes were sharp and intense without the thick, smudged lenses. “Why did you ask about my great-nephew?”

  With some reluctance, Jamie shared what Mae had learned in her psychic journey, feeling obligated to explain about the motel room and the way Mae worked as a psychic as well as what Reno had said. Lonnie remained silent for a moment, and then asked about the tent. Jamie described its fate and the peculiar details of the neatly and silently executed damage.

  Lonnie asked, “You were at Zak’s house long enough for this to happen?”

  “Reckon.”

  Lonnie put his glasses back on, squinted, then took them off, went to the sink and washed them. “What do you think made someone cut up your tent?”

  Jamie took a deep breath. He didn’t want to think about this. “They wanted us to leave. Could have been someone who heard what Reno said about Mae, but ... it could have been, y’know, someone who’s in on his secret. They’re afraid Mae will find out.”r />
  Lonnie nodded. “That’s a scary power she has, if you have a lot of secrets.” He dried his glasses on a paper towel, held them up to the light, and put them back on. “I think you can figure out who damaged your tent.”

  The idea had been lurking at the edge of Jamie’s mind ever since he’d noticed how neat the hole was, but he’d refused to let it in. Reno and Letitia had been with Montana and then gone to the motel. Zak had been with Jamie. That left Shelli and David, one to watch the booth while the other went to the campground.

  The thought made his insides churn, and the smells of bacon and eggs and the congealing traces of them on Lonnie’s plate made it worse. He took the dishes to the sink and ran water over them. Meat grease floated on the plate now. Jamie walked to the doorway to watch the campground begin to stir and let the fresh air wash over him. He had thought he’d made peace with his friends’ secret. They claimed it wasn’t hurting anyone, but it was driving them to do hurtful things.

  His back to Lonnie, he said, “You know what they’re hiding. I won’t ask you what it is. But is it really okay with you?”

  Water ran and stopped, followed by the squish of a soapy sponge. Lonnie was washing his dishes. “I never said it was.”

  Jamie turned to look at the old man. “You told me to think from my heart.”

  “About Montana, yes. And you did. That was good.” Lonnie rinsed a plate, set it aside, and scrubbed the next. “It’s not the same as liking how Will gets her the money. However, I’m a practical man. I look at the balance of things, not the absolutes.” He finished the second plate and began washing mugs. “I can’t uncook this stew they’ve made. I’m a medicine man, not a policeman. If any of them comes to me, I can help that way. Bring them back into harmony. Into gozho.” Lonnie rinsed the mugs and placed them on the drain board. “And that’s all I can do. All I should do.”

  Why hadn’t Jamie and Mae seen this? It seemed so obvious now. His wavering inner compass needle found true north and settled. “I hope Reno turns to you. And Zak. I’m worried about him. You did a lot for Tana. She was scared to talk to me, but she actually seemed at peace with Will, y’know? Ready to move on, forgive him.”

  The old man got to work on cleaning the frying pan. “I only finished what you started last night. That light in the fog.”

  “Wasn’t trying.” Jamie fiddled with the door latch, clicking it back and forth. “Just leaked, y’know?”

  “You need to be readier with that gift. Not just leak. You need to go back to your teachers.”

  “I’ll think about it. After my tour.”

  “Why put it off?”

  “Only got a month to get ready, and I have to get the van fixed.”

  Lonnie ran water over the pan and then dried it and the dishes, putting them in the cabinets one by one. “Your teachers are in Santa Fe?”

  Jamie nodded, and Lonnie continued, “Will you need your van to see them?”

  “Nah.” Jamie had his Fiesta and his bike. His shoulders wriggled. “But I’ll be busy.”

  “One of our medicine men is a professional musician. Writes songs, plays the guitar, performs all over the country. He was on our tribal council when he was younger. A busy man. Bessie Yahnaki went to college. She was a social worker and a healer. I was in the Navy before you knew me. I was a medic. Your girlfriend has her job and goes to school, but she’s still a healer.”

  “Thought you said she was driving around without a map.”

  “I did. She needs to study more, too.” Lonnie stopped tidying and looked at Jamie. “You both do. But she’s answered the call. You can make excuses, but the spirits may not listen to them. Your own power may not listen.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Mae got home in time to throw the laundry in the wash before meeting Niall for lunch. When she’d let him know she was back, he’d been surprised, but then invited her to Passion Pie to meet Daphne Brady. Mae had suggested they exercise on the way. As they walked the riverside path through the Rotary Park, Niall adjusted his ball cap lower over his eyes, squinting in the glare of the sun on the Rio Grande. “I can’t believe I’m taking a frickin’ walk.”

  “Isn’t it nice, though, breathing the fresh air?”

  He stopped and sat on one of the yellow metal picnic benches. “I’ll breathe better if I sit.”

  Something rustled in the brush along the bank. Snake? They were shy and Mae didn’t get to see them very often. She peered into the weeds. A red-winged blackbird fluttered up to a branch. “You still think about smoking?”

  “Not so much the smoking as ...” Niall leaned on the table, chin in hand, index finger over his lips. “I miss the part of me that smoked. You wouldn’t know what that’s like. You never had a bad habit in your life. You and Marty. If you’d ever had a bad attachment, you’d understand.”

  “I had a first husband.”

  Niall hacked out a sound that passed for a laugh.

  “I’m serious. I’ve had a man habit. Straight from high school boyfriend to break-up to new boyfriend to marrying him to divorce to new boyfriend to marrying him ... This year being single is some kind of record. I even went seven months without a date.”

  “You like being single?”

  “Yes and no. I like being in a relationship but ...” Despite the reason for her departure from Mescalero, getting home had felt wonderful. “I like having my own place, too. My own space.”

  “Better make sure Jamie knows that. He doesn’t need to be alone like a normal person.” Niall coughed, hawked, and stood to spit into the trash can. “Christ. Crap keeps coming out. I want to stick a frickin’ vacuum down my bronchioles. Those cilia have got nearly forty years of garbage to sweep out. Good thing Marty used to be a baseball player. He’s used to seeing people spit.” He hawked and expectorated again, and they resumed their walk. “Hell. I should stop bellyaching. I may sound like I’m dying, but you probably saved my life.”

  “You know Daddy thinks you’re smoking again?”

  “I did buy a pack.”

  “Niall! Why?”

  “Can’t explain it. I was in the Family Dollar at the checkout and I was so used to asking for my brand I just did it. They’re in the glove compartment in the Beetle.”

  “You should get rid of them. Misty’s sister Melody used to drink and she won’t get near alcohol. Her husband gave a party and she kicked everybody out for bringing it.”

  “But I bet she didn’t have an involuntary spiritual experience when she quit.”

  “No. Just a lot of hard work.”

  Niall gazed at the mountains across the river. “Maybe I’m tempting myself. Making myself have to work.”

  They left the park and turned up Foch Street, passing a dusty trailer park and chain-link fencing half-hidden in the prickly flesh of cow’s tongue cacti. Mae caught herself getting slightly ahead and stopped to let Niall catch up.

  “You heading back to the reservation tonight?” he asked, slightly out of breath.

  Mae stood still, letting him rest. “No. I’m kinda sad about that. I made a good friend there—Melody—and I wanted to spend more time with Bernadette, too, and see all of the ceremonies. But Reno started this rumor that I’m a witch, and that’s really evil to Apaches. It might be why somebody tore up Jamie’s tent.”

  “Reno Geronimo said that about you?” Niall’s head jutted forward even more than usual. “Damn. That’s not like him.”

  “There’s a story behind it. Reno and some other people are up to something they want to keep secret, something serious, and having a psychic around made them nervous. I think he said it to drive me off.”

  “That wasn’t too bright. You both live here.”

  “I don’t think Reno’s used to lying and hiding things.”

  “Any idea what he’s hiding?” Mae shook her head. Niall sighed. “I like Reno. He’s a talented kid. I don’t want him to screw his life up.”

  “I think he’s already done it.”

  Niall stopped to pick up a
quarter off the sidewalk. “Maine quarter. Believe that? What are the odds? Like you picking up a North Carolina.” He put it in his pocket. “So where were we? Before Reno?”

  “Not going back to Mescalero tonight.” They crossed Broadway and continued uphill toward Main Street. Out of habit, Mae crossed to the far side for shade from a building’s awning. Niall gave her a twisted look, probably objecting to the extra steps. “Jamie called. He’s still there, but he wants to come here. He needs to get his van to a repair place though, and if he wakes up in Santa Fe he’ll get it there sooner. I pointed that out, but he’s had a pretty rough day—rough weekend, really, when it was supposed to be fun—”

  “And what does Mae want? She who loves her own space?”

  “I ...” Mae hadn’t let this need surface until now. “I want a night off. I feel bad about asking for it, but he’s ... he’s ...”

  Niall exhaled a laugh through his nose. “He’s Jamie. You don’t have to explain. One of my favorite people in the world, but sometimes you just have to put him outside.”

  Mae imagined a restless, blond-furred, dark-eyed cat climbing the curtains and Niall picking it up and sending it out the door. “It’d be hard to do it tonight, though. This was supposed be the fourth night of our four-day weekend.”

  “Be careful. Once you step in quicksand, you’re not getting out.”

  “Jamie’s not quicksand.”

  “You make someone happy doing what you don’t want to do, that’s quicksand.”

  “But I’m not doing things I don’t want to do with Jamie.”

  “You went camping.”

  “But I told him I didn’t like it—finally—and he took it okay. Sort of. Just a little fight.”

  The shade came to an end, and Mae crossed again, to an antique shop’s awning. Niall coughed. “Shade to shade. It’s like walking with a frickin’ lizard.”

  “If you were as white as I am, you’d do this too. I get all the sun I can handle while I’m running. Anyway,” she gave him a gentle nudge, “I like making you walk a little extra.”

  “Trying to distract me. We were talking about Jamie. Mark my words. You cut short his nice long weekend, I bet you my magical Maine quarter, you’ll have more drama than Shakespeare. But if you don’t do it, he won’t know how you feel.”