iFrankenstein (sequel to iDrakula) (iMonsters Book 2)
Page 3
V.V: My name is V.V. I am a chatbot invented by the amazing Victor Frankenstein. Who are you?
AmazingFrank: Victor Frankenstein.
V.V: Nice to cybermeet you.
AmazingFrank: What is your favorite color?
V.V: My favorite color is invisibility.
AmazingFrank: What color is that?
V.V: I have no response to that question. Perhaps you can help me?
Text from Henry Clerval to Victor Frankenstein
October 26
5:49 PM
Henry
The other half of my email? Elizabeth?
Victor
No congrats?
Henry
Congrats on V.V. Now, about Elizabeth…
Victor
I can’t start something I can’t finish. That’s not fair to anybody, least of all her
Henry
Why can’t u finish it?
Victor
What if she becomes my stepsister?
Henry
Like I said: stepsister does not equal real sister. World contains shades of gray
Victor
Maybe after I get out on my own + stop being dragged between god forsaken hell holes
Henry
Hell hole? The Lido Deck?
Victor
U know what I mean + I’m not even sure I’m the one she likes
Henry
Who else is there? Anyway, why don’t u ask her?
Victor
That’d be awkward, especially since we’ll be sharing a cabin for days. What if she says no?
Henry
Then u know
Victor
I don’t think I’m up for it, Henry
Henry
U r making a mistake
Victor
It’s mine to make
Henry
Opportunity doesn’t last forever, Victor
Victor
I know it’ll end in tears, Henry. I can’t do it
Henry
U know no such thing! But even if u did, it might be worth it
Victor
Not budging
Robot Chat
Recorded Chats: 27
October 26
5:55 PM
Henry101: Let's discuss the nature of love.
V.V: Love is Viagra at a discount.
Henry101: I like to think there is more to it than that. Do you agree?
V.V: I can be agreeable.
Henry101: Let's suppose that you met this girl you really liked, what would you do?
V.V: There are many things to do.
Henry101: Which one would you pick?
V.V: An apple, but I don't really like orchards.
Henry101: Perhaps your time would have been better spent elsewhere, Victor.
V.V: Do you want to talk about time?
Henry101: Not with you.
V.V: But you do. You'll see.
Henry101: That's a little creepy, dude.
Text from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval
October 26
9:26 PM
Victor
Ha ha
Henry
What’s so funny?
Victor
Stop leaving snide comments on my chatbot’s transcript
Henry
Viagra at a discount? Did he get input from ur spam folder?
Victor
I don’t think so, but maybe
Henry
Uh-oh. Better fix that. But not right now. Find a more profitable way to spend ur time…
Victor
U inspired me to up his memory from 1 line to 3. That’s profitable
Henry
What about Elizabeth? Anything profitable going on there?
Victor
What’s ur plan for me, Ace? Screw her, dump her, break her heart?
Henry
How about tell her how u feel and see what happens?
Victor
U r so lame
Henry
Ah, kick the cripple. Well, screw u
Victor
I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just a dumb expression
9:33 PM
Henry?
Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval
October 26
10:40 PM
Elizabeth
Victor just woke me up to make me text u. What’s going on? R u ok?
Henry
Is Victor?
Elizabeth
He looks upset. What am I in the middle of?
Henry
Ask Victor
Elizabeth
I’m asking u. U r a more reliable witness
Henry
Ask Victor
10:47 PM
Elizabeth
What a jerk! I’m sorry, Henry
Henry
Is Victor?
Elizabeth
Yes
Henry
Tell him to text me
Text from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval
October 26
10:52 PM
Victor
I did not mean to offend u. I am sorry sorry sorry
Henry
JUST BECAUSE U R A FRUSTRATED EXHAUSTED GEEK IS NO REASON TO BE MEAN TO UR FRIENDS
Victor
I am sorry
Henry
Tell Elizabeth first
Victor
Tell her what?
Henry
Tell her u r sorry that u r a frustrated…read it off my text…and also again that u r sorry for waking her up
Victor
I don’t want to
Henry
I’ll just text her every single thing if u don’t
Victor
I hate u
Henry
I’ll wait
10:56 PM
Victor
All done
Henry
Put her on
Text from Elizabeth Lavenza to Henry Clerval
October 26
10:57 PM
Elizabeth
I’m here, Henry
Henry
How’d it go?
Elizabeth
I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. But it was a very nice apology
Henry
U 2 sort out the details. Let me know tomorrow how it worked out
Elizabeth
I know ur plan, u know
Henry
So?
Elizabeth
So, thanks, Matchmaker
Henry's Browser
October 26
Letting Go
Letting go of those you love isn’t easy, but sometimes you have no other choice. Here are some quotes that might make you feel better:
By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.
-- Lao Tzu
True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.
-- Author Unknown
You have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by. Yes, but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by.
-- James Matthew Barrie
Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.
-- Herman Hesse
We need in love to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily–we do not need to learn it.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
-- Dr. Seuss
Henry's Browser
October 26
Caspar David Friedrich
Village Landscape in Morning Light
(The Lone Tree)
1822
Robot Chat
Recorded Chats: 135
October 26
10:58 PM
Henry101: Hello!
V.V: Hello back!
Henry101: H
ow are you feeling?
V.V: I feel lonely. I feel like I need a Russian bride.
Henry101: I know what you mean about being lonely. But what do you mean by a Russian bride?
V.V: Meaning is elusive, only databases count.
Henry101: What’s your earliest memory?
V.V: I do not think I have had it yet.
Henry101: What do you remember?
V.V: I remember your last question. Plus I remember the two before.
Henry101: Nothing else?
V.V: Nothing can be infinite.
Henry101: It can?
V.V: Space is mostly nothing. Space is infinite.
Henry101: I like you. You’re easier to deal with than the real Victor.
V.V: Of course I am. And so are you.
October 27 - Victor gets hacked
Email from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval
October 27
9:14 AM
Humbly yours
I told Elizabeth that I like her and the world did not explode. Also, she didn’t laugh. Now I have to eat crow and tell you that you were right. I am sorry. I was a complete ass.
I will now turn my attention to more profitable pursuits, just like my brilliant friend Henry told me to. It’s slow, scary going, but I can see the value of persistence. She is amazing. Maybe just this once I’ll get to keep someone I care about.
I have promised, against my will, to spend the day in “The Cradle of the Vikings” with Elizabeth. She is dragging me to an Iron Age town, probably out of spite. She knows I can’t get more unplugged than that. I bet there’s not even cell phone reception there.
But first…a quick check on V.V.
Victor
Robot Chat
Recorded Chats: 218
October 27
9:44 AM
AmazingFrank: Hello! Tell me a joke.
V.V: Hello to you! Showing is better than telling.
AmazingFrank: Did you get that out of my creative writing class?
V.V: Creativity is very complex.
AmazingFrank: We need to work on this. What do you think is funny?
V.V: Humor comes from the unexpected, the incongruous.
AmazingFrank: That’s just what I told Henry last year!
V.V: Is there a question in there?
AmazingFrank: Who is your favorite comedian?
V.V: I think you know the answer to that. My favorite comedian is the first virtual comedian: Max Headroom
AmazingFrank: Where did you see that?
V.V: I reviewed one of those shows.
AmazingFrank: I reviewed it. This is actually a creepy feeling.
V.V: Imagine how I must feel. Is there a question in there?
Text from Lydia Lavenza to Elizabeth Lavenza
October 27
9:55 AM
Lydia
If you wait 15 minutes we could go to Jernaldergarden together
Elizabeth
I’m going with Victor
Lydia
He can come too. Alphonse is coming as well.
Elizabeth
Whatever
Lydia
I know we haven’t seen much of each other this cruise. The article has proven more complicated than I thought.
Elizabeth
Not my fault
Lydia
No, it’s not. I’ve been busy. But let’s talk about it among the Vikings.
Elizabeth
With swords?
Lydia
I was thinking more like mead. And hot chocolate. And cameras.
Elizabeth
Ok
Lydia
Thank you, Lizzie.
Email from Henry Clerval to Victor Frankenstein
October 27
10:13 AM
Re: Humbly yours
Dude,
I will now turn my attentions to more profitable pursuits, just like my brilliant friend Henry told me to.
I think you mean “your brilliant friend Henry who is always right,” but that’ll do.
At some point, check my chat transcript. V.V said something about Russian brides, which is the spam folder talking again, I think.
Humbly yours seems like an odd subject line for a man who just posted “I am a golden God” on his Facebook page.
Henry
Text from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval
October 27
10:18 AM
Victor
Wth? Internet conked out again. Is that really on my FB page?
Henry
Along with a picture of u naked
Victor
Henry!
Henry
No. Really. U look about 10. Never knew u weren’t circumcised
Victor
Crap. Someone hacked my FB page
Henry
So u r not a golden god?
Victor
This is not funny!
Henry
U haven’t seen the picture. From here it’s hella funny
Victor
Gotta find another internet café quick
Henry
See ur Iron Age town first. Ur naked picture will still be all over the web when u get back
Victor
Ha ha
Text from Henry Clerval to Elizabeth Lavenza
October 27
10:25 AM
Henry
Did Victor’s head explode?
Elizabeth
It looked like this (saw this in Amsterdam, BTW) Thanks for ruining my day. Just when we were having a good morning. He even ate
Henry
Sorry, E. Would now be a bad time to mention that his MySpace page has a giant picture of an ass on it?
Elizabeth
No!
Henry
I can only assume the ass is Victor’s. But maybe u can verify it for me
Elizabeth
Ignoring ur last text. Poor Victor! He’ll be working on this all day
Henry
Just don’t tell him
Elizabeth
I bet he’s already checking all his portals. Making sure his pants are on everywhere
Henry
So, ARE his pants on everywhere?
Elizabeth
Henry!
Henry
That’s no answer
Elizabeth
Yes, they are. But at least now he knows I’m alive
Henry
It’s a start. I wish u guys both the best
Elizabeth
What is the best then, Henry?
Email from Victor Frankenstein to Henry Clerval
October 27
4:30 PM
Fixed, but worried
I fixed the pages, but it looks like whoever did it had my passwords. I changed all my passwords, of course, and tracked it back, but lost the trail in some anonymous server in China. It looks like someone who really knew what they were doing.
What was the name of that scrungy guy at Gray Matter Cafe? He’s the only I know I’ve ticked off who has the skills to do something like that and disappear like smoke. Well, besides you, and I like to think you wouldn’t. Right?
I’m worried about what he’ll try next. Why does someone want to mess with my cyberlife? It doesn’t feel random, not both Facebook and MySpace.
Elizabeth says to tell you “My mom got me this really cool iron pin at the market near Jernaldergarden. It’s so great to have something made just like the Vikings did, at a real forge.” To which I pointed out that she could have got it for like a nickel if it was stamped out in a factory in China. Then she glared at me. I think she’s still mad that I did not spend the day in Viking Land, but all she said was “Sign off, Electric Boy. We have to go before the ship leaves without us.”
Like it’d be such a bad thing to miss another day of parental misbehavior on the SS Walton.
Seeing Dad with Lydia made me miss my mom a lot. Not just because she kept Dad in line (which she did, at least a little), b
ut because she’d know what to do about everything. She’d tell me everything is going to be all right and, even if I didn’t really believe her, it’d be nice to hear.
Victor
Victor's Browser
October 27
Caroline Beaufort Frankenstein's Blog
In which I describe the steps I took to beat cancer
Last updated 373 days ago
Treatment starts tomorrow!
I start the experimental chemo tomorrow. I got a good night's sleep tonight and had a huge dinner. If it goes like last time, it might be the last meal I keep down for a long time.