by Sunniva Dee
Her eyes widened.
“That’s brilliant! You’re so freaking clever, Gaia!”
“Hey, no, I was kidding…”
The twins found the solution as clever as Marina did, which made me laugh out loud for the first time in months.
****
Despite school drama, I never forgot about Gabriel. At night, I dreamed of him. At daytime, I mulled over what could’ve triggered his visits.
Soon, I came to terms with the irrational crush I had on this person who’d uttered all of one sentence to me, and my obsession with him grew to a steady burn.
I chuckled whenever I pondered how to make him disappear. If he came and outlived his welcome, the go-to faux pas were simple. I could kiss him, call attention to him, or acknowledge his presence. Not exactly perfect boyfriend material.
Marina and I couldn’t wait for Winter Formal. I bought a pretty sea foam green, silk look-alike dress with matching sling-backs, while Marina fell for a deep pink number in real silk. The gown clung to her body like a glove, accentuating her curves and turning her into a dark-haired version of Marilyn Monroe.
Thursday afternoon, hours before the dance, we went to the hair salon. Acutely aware of the source of my inspiration, I asked Ricardo to give me amber lowlights. When he twisted and curled my hair just so and I squinted into the mirror, he’d almost captured a longer version of Gabriel’s mane. It made me smirk.
Marina’s eyes narrowed as she focused in on me. “What’re you doing?”
“Oh, nothing…”
“Right.”
“Well, I guess this hairdo and color reminds me of someone…”
“Somebody from school? Do I know her?”
“Honestly, Marina, no, and I’m starting to think nobody else does either.”
“Dude, you’re totally wrong if you mean the freshman girl who’s all over Lucio, because hers is shorter and pretty straight compared to yours. I like your hair this way—”
Her babbling went on, but I lost track as the loneliness of my secret reared inside me. Would it make a difference if I told her? Somehow I didn’t think Gabriel would give his approval, but then again, he wasn’t around to cast a vote.
“—So who do you mean, Gaia?”
I could keep things simple. Details from the closet incident, for instance…I stared out the window until my cheeks had cooled. “Long story. You don’t want to go there.”
“Yeah, right. Try me!”
“Maybe I’ll tell you later. At home.”
“Great. Make me wait, why don’t you?”
By the time we got to my house, Marina was bursting with curiosity. I still took my time patting shimmery tan lotion over my face, chest, and arms. Once the lotion had dried, I applied the makeup. Glistening greens and gold for the eyes, pouty cherry for the lips.
Aware of how nuts I looked, I stared into the mirror and found what I wanted in the final result—a pale resemblance to Gabriel’s skin and hair. Idly I wondered if I’d ever forget him. It had been so long since I last saw him.
“Pretty, Gaia. Now, spit it out. Who’s in the mirror when you squint that way, funny girl?”
I smiled. “Well, I guess I’m kind of obsessed with this guy. He’s unbelievably gorgeous, and he’s got this way about him. I swear I’ve never laid eyes upon anybody like him in my whole life. Maybe I’m going crazy.”
Marina grimaced. “‘Laid eyes upon?’ Clearly, you’re already crazy, Miss Shakespeare, so no worries there. Where did you meet him?”
“He was with me at the accident.”
“Oh—hot—like a firefighter or something? Firefighters are flipping sexy!”
As always, she made me grin. “Not even close, Marina. He hung out next to me for a while before the paramedics and everybody came rushing over. He sat there watching me. He didn’t wear a uniform, and he was barefoot.”
“What? Somebody took his shoes? Was he hurt?”
“Geez, how am I supposed to know about his shoes? He wasn’t injured; I know that’s for sure. He didn’t do anything, really. He just kept me company. Strange, but so sweet…”
Marina rolled her eyes, stealing my move. “Okay, so why are you crushing on this anti-hero right now? Your knight in not-so-shining armor. Am I right, or am I right?”
It hadn’t crossed my mind, but I understood. My explanation didn’t cover how important his presence had been at the collision site.
With fading confidence, I tried again. “I don’t know what to say, Marina. He sat there way before anybody else came over. Like he’d been through what I had but wasn’t upset or anything. Strange. He comforted me, without saying a single word!”
Gabriel’s case seemed too fragile already, so I didn’t mention how I’d worried about a connection between my pain and our eye contact.
“Whatever. So was he firefighter-hot?”
I laughed helplessly. Marina’s eyes grew wider and wider as I tangled myself deeper and deeper into labyrinths of nouns and flourishing adjectives. Unsuspectingly, she had opened the floodgates, and I couldn’t stop talking. In the end, I even blurted out an incoherent description of the way his skin seemed to shine. When I finally finished, Marina’s jaw hung open.
“And exactly how long did you have to observe all of this, Gaia? Don’t get me wrong, he sounds like one heck of a guy, but are we talking minutes by the roadside, or hours, for crying out loud?”
“He’s been around afterward too, kind of,” I admitted sheepishly.
“What do you mean ‘kind of?’ When?”
“In my hospital room when I woke up one night. Oh, and at school a couple of months ago.”
“No, at school? Where was I? Why didn’t you say anything? I so want to—” All of a sudden, Marina’s interrogation came to a taut halt.
Her little body tensed up as she broke the silence in an altogether different voice. “What was he doing in your hospital room at night?” The question rang out as a statement. A doomsday one.
****
A rented minivan in the dreary shape and color of a fridge from the fifties hobbled up my driveway. Lucio, Kyle, and Cody poured out of it, proud of their ingenuity. Not that we’d expected a limo, but still. A rented minivan? And where did they find this particular piece of junk anyway—at the thrift store? Even my old Subaru would have been better.
“Idiots!” Marina said.
“No shit.”
Reluctantly we headed to our proud dates. With chins held high, we did a pretty good job of ignoring Dad’s gleeful chortle as we entered the monstrosity.
“Your dad’s still smirking on the porch. What a smarty-pants,” Marina whispered as we drove off.
The committee had done an excellent job transforming the Spring Hills High cafeteria into a different scene. The lunch tables lined the dance floor in half circles, and the DJ was already playing on a platform when we arrived.
Even though the theme—winter—was a little unoriginal, we still gave the committee high scores for having the entire room covered in an array of snow-related decorations. Even the mud-colored walls had been wrapped in white paper sheets and strewn with silver snowflakes. Streamers hung wiggling and dancing from the ceiling, and we gave it a “B-” for the way it almost channeled falling snow.
Cody, who’d vowed to dance a lot, headed toward the dance floor to achieve his goal. He began by pulling Marina with him, but she refused to start the night off as part of what she called his solo performance. This suited Kyle, who whisked her off to the punch bowl.
“I can drink on my own, Kyle,” she clipped out, and I turned away, half-choking on a giggle. Apparently, forcing beverages down her throat wasn’t the way to Marina’s heart.
Within thirty minutes, the improvised ballroom thronged with students and chaperones. The music kept getting louder, and the DJ’s playlist took off, causing me to wiggle on the sideline.
Spectacular dresses in all the colors of the rainbow whirled and bopped in a flurry of satin, silk, and lace. The room throbbed
with the rhythms of dubstep, glitch, and drum ’n‘ bass, and the DJ even slid in some trance to really get us going.
My foot tapped the rhythm, and Lucio sent me a questioning look. “You up for a dance?”
I nodded. “Yeah, it’s getting harder and harder to stand still.”
“I know, right? Here, let me put away our cups.”
Lucio took my hand and guided me onto the floor.
“Are you okay?” His gaze went to my neck.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Soon we swayed along in the small sea of students. Eyes closed, I let the beat drum right through me.
“Let’s get in the middle!” Kyle yelled.
“I’m not tempting fate. Just got out of the neck brace, remember?” I shouted back over the music.
“That’s cowardice, Gaia. Pure cowardice.” Kyle’s reply scored a point with Marina. My girlfriend cracked up, which was definitely a step in the right direction for him.
“Nah, we’re cool out here, Kyle,” Lucio said.
“But dude, check out the mosh pit!”
Sure enough, some of our classmates were already jumping violently at the center of the floor, and I had a vivid image of myself face down in their midst. Marina bounced elegantly next to us, waving Kyle’s pleas off, and the twins resigned themselves to taking synchronized turns, twirling her about in perfect harmony.
The music suddenly changed to an uncharacteristic down tempo tune. Surprised, I scanned the room. Not only was it too early for slow-dancing, but the song was too ethereal for our group. With a covert glance at the DJ, I tried to assess his age. This genre did appeal to me as I devoured all types of music, but most of my classmates seemed puzzled. After a moment, they began to regroup, some heading for the punch bowls, others choosing their slow-dance partners.
“What’s he playing? Mom’s Absolute Love Songs?” Cody said.
“The Miyo remix of ‘Heaven’ by Jes,” I corrected.
“Oh, right. Well, I’m pretty sure it’s from the album ‘Songs that Suck—The Shit Collection,’” he replied, and Lucio snickered.
“Really, Lucio? You encourage him?”
Lucio bit down on his lips and shrugged.
Clearly, Cody had pulled the short straw this time. Marina’s head rested on his brother’s shoulder. Cody grimaced and began a creative, yet not-too-gracious impression of Armstrong’s moonwalk in the center where the mosh pit had dissolved.
“May I?” Lucio whispered, taking my hand, and I nodded and let my eyes slide shut again. The song filled me as he steered me in a wide circle around the others.
Out of nowhere I thought of Gabriel, and a warm lightness filled me. My eyes opened, dashed past Lucio’s shoulder, and found him at the furthest end of the dance floor. Did I have a sixth sense now?
All in white, his slim-fit cotton shirt flowed untucked over his pants. Gabriel’s hair cascaded in glints of gold, and the spotlights tinged it with blue.
Elation, love, bliss; his expression captivated me, and I wanted to immerse myself in the sensations it promised. With chin raised, he faced an invisible sky, a tiny smile playing across his lips. I stared unblinking as his arms stretched out to his sides and moved up, soaring on the music. His palms opened to the ceiling, and gracefully, slowly, he grew taller by the second.
My gaze dropped, and through the throng of students, I glimpsed his bare feet lifting him up on his toes like a ballet dancer. He hardly moved, yet he danced, and the beauty of it made my stomach twist. In a rush, it hit me how setting eyes on a man shouldn’t hurt.
The more I gawked at Gabriel, the more my temper stirred. I slid out of Lucio’s arms and didn’t react when he called after me.
“What’s going on, Lucio? What did you do?” Marina’s words reached me over the music.
I had no right to be mad. I still lost it on my way across the dance floor. By the time I reached Gabriel, the rage ripped through me and caused my fingers to dig into his shoulders.
“Why the hell do you keep disappearing on me?”
Oh, and why do I make no sense around you?
Sudden stillness. He watched me under the jerky lights. Furrowing his brows, his lips mouthed one word.
“Come.”
Come? Come!
My response didn’t make it past the music, but Gabriel wasn’t waiting for consent. Clasping my hand, he led me through the swamp of students and out of the lunchroom.
My heart jumped as I scanned the crowd behind me. He was pulling me further away from my friends by the second. Suddenly, I regretted my outburst and longed for the uncomplicated fun from earlier in the night.
“Gabriel?” My voice cracked a little. But Gabriel advanced with a purpose, his poise a dancer’s as he strode down the hallways. I fixated on the regal tilt of his head in front of me as I tripped along. When he tugged to make me move in closer, my stomach dropped.
Halfway down the corridor, I’d had it. I yanked him to a halt, kicked my shoes off, and stared up at him.
“You know what? You appear and disappear. You were at the accident, in the hospital. You’ve even been at my school before. How—and why—do you do that?”
He gave me an unreadable look. Then, he bent and picked up my shoes. The sensation of being dwarfed behind him soon overshadowed the relief of not wobbling on my sling-backs as he pulled me with him.
“Please, tell me you’re not some crazy stalker,” I said, repressing a sweet flutter inside as I watched my stilettos swing by his thigh. Instead of replying, he strode on with my hand gripped tight in his.
On my toes, he was a couple of inches taller, and the ache in my calves was worth the confidence of added height as I tiptoed after him. With me taking two steps for each of his, we advanced through the empty corridors of my school.
“Say something,” I demanded to his back, but he didn’t. He slowed down once we got to the main hallway.
Bathed in the dim emergency lighting, we were alone on the glossy linoleum floors. Gabriel was calm as he turned to face me, and the lazy way he supported his back on the water fountain made my cheeks burn.
I’m so confused. Mad. Freaking turned on…okay, this sucks!
With a sharp intake of air, I leaned in, ready to poke him in the chest and give him another piece of my mind.
His hand blurred as it intercepted mine and let them drop together in one motion. Momentarily paralyzed, I glared up at him. Then, my palm hung naked as his settled on my waist. He held me out from him, while my mind roamed for the next move.
With a barely visible shake of his head, Gabriel spoke before I could. The words formed and slinked around me like kittens. Smooth, unforced, and unbelievable.
“Gaia, you don’t know how beautiful you are. Inside and out.” I couldn’t begin to guess why he had said them.
If the plan were to distract me, he’d soon realize how out of luck he was. I’d had enough mysterious comings and goings, enough secrecy. Now, I wanted answers, and nothing could stop me from getting them tonight. Ignoring the compliment, I put a hand flat on his stomach.
“Where have you been?”
“With you.”
“Liar.”
His eyes widened. Then, his abdomen rippled under my touch as he began to laugh. The sound sprinkled goose bumps over me.
“Gaia; no. I’ve been with you.”
So near, so real. The indentation of his collarbone, the slope of his neck vanishing into the shirt, the golden shimmer of his face, the barely-there mist of chestnut freckles over his nose. Breathtaking.
Okay, pull it together.
I drowned in his gaze, the sky blue of a summer day.
Crap, I…I need—I want…
My mind checked out, and I became a primitive thing. I threw myself at him and held on tight. Gabriel didn’t push me away. Instead his arms circled me, and a blissful sigh escaped me as I locked around his waist.
“I didn’t know where you’d gone. For so long I couldn’t see you. Don’t ever leave again, because I�
��”
Don’t say it.
“I…”
No!
“…need you.”
Damn me. I’m out of control.
Silence wrapped us, stretching on and on. When his sigh leaked out, it was different than mine.
****
The footsteps echoing toward us were too heavy and self-assured for a student. A chaperone of any kind, parent or teacher, would mean trouble if they discovered us. Apparently, my brain still worked enough to know this, and my legs tingled with the urge to flee. Not a muscle twitched in Gabriel. His slow, steady heartbeat soothed me.
The English teacher’s voice echoed off the walls, catching up to us before he did. “Is everything okay, Gaia? Do you need help with the fountain?”
The teacher was closing in on us. It unnerved me how he hadn’t acknowledged that we were two. My fingers slipped and dropped their hold. I considered the options as I lifted my head from under Gabriel’s chin.
“No, it’s working. Thank you, though, Mr. Bradley.” My voice trembled a little. His empathy sounded genuine when he replied.
“I’m so sorry, Gaia. This first dance without your friends must be hard.”
Mr. Bradley couldn’t have known how the words would rip me apart. In a flash, the accident replayed through my head, fast and hard, like stop-motion pictures replete with shattered glass and blood.
Chris’ shocked stare captures mine. I’m outside.
I worked to swallow the lump obstructing my airways.
The heat consumes him.
Gabriel’s hands settled at the back of my hips, and the scent of amber played in my nostrils.
Gabriel. He’s there with me, waiting for the paramedics.
His breath closed in warm against my skin, grazing my cheekbone. My glance floated through his, finding him level, undisturbed. The panic fluttered once and quieted as the veil descended back over my memories. Safekeeping them there in the chamber of my grief.
Mr. Bradley’s hand on my shoulder conveyed his support. He pulled out a crumpled Kleenex from his suit jacket and passed it to me. Then, not sparing a look for Gabriel, he said goodbye.
Incredulous, I followed Mr. Bradley with my eyes as he turned the corner. The close call left me speechless, and I reached for Gabriel as the teacher disappeared out of sight. A brief episode of vertigo blanketed me as I realized that Gabriel could have vanished while my focus was elsewhere.