She gave a pathetic laugh when she realized she didn’t even have the car right now. It was at Roric’s house. That was the last place she wanted to go. Maybe she would have the energy for that tomorrow. Right now, all she wanted to do was curl up in bed. She’d have to get some blood bags pretty soon, but maybe Alec would bring her some. She stood up, bone-tired but knowing she had a long walk ahead of her.
She barely got a few feet, though, before a familiar sight caught her eye. Her Neon. She blinked a few times, but with the dent on the front fender, the scratch along the side, and the rust around the wheel wells, there was no mistaking it. She hurried over to it and yanked the door open, crying when she saw what was sitting on the passenger seat. A large cooler.
She knew without looking what would be inside, but she opened the lid, anyway. Sure enough, there were more than a dozen blood bags. An envelope was lying on top, and she opened it up with shaking fingers. Inside were five hundred-dollar bills and a note that said, “For window tinting, Roric.” Tears poured down her cheeks, and she didn’t bother to wipe them, just let herself bawl.
She wanted him to be the terrible person she assumed all vampires were, and she wanted to hate him for changing her and ruining her life, but it was almost impossible to do that when he did stuff like this. Over and over again, he’d shown his remorse and tried to take care of her, but then again, he had something major to lose if she turned him in. Was he really as caring as he seemed, or was it all an act to keep her quiet? Unfortunately, she’d never know for sure.
She drove home and carried the large cooler inside, surprised at how light it felt even though it probably weighed a lot. She set the whole cooler inside her mostly-empty fridge and stretched out on her bed, too exhausted to think or do anything else for now.
Three days later, she was still huddled in her apartment, rationing the blood bags and staving off panic attacks by not letting herself think about what she was going to do next. The $500 Roric had given her would help cover her lost wages, but what if she could never go back to the bar?
The blood bags kept her stomach full, but a deep craving had settled into her bones, making her whole body ache. She was starting to get used to it, but there was no one around to tempt her. What would happen if she was around a human or even another vampire? She needed to test it, but she was terrified to go out alone. What if she went berserk and attacked a stranger on the street?
But she was running out of blood bags, so she was going to have to figure out how to get more soon. She was just about to call Alec and ask him for help when she got a call from Piper.
“Hey girl, how are you doing?”
She sighed at the sound of a familiar voice, and a tension she didn’t realize was knotting her body started to loosen. She had been on her own for four years, but she’d never felt so lonely before. Other than a few brief texts from Gray, she hadn’t spoken to anyone in days.
“I haven’t attacked anyone lately, but I also haven’t left my apartment since Wednesday.”
“Really? What are you doing?”
Caroline looked down at herself in disgust. She was curled up on her dad’s chair, wrapped in a blanket, and hadn’t showered or changed out of her pajamas in days. The chair was probably going to stink like flop sweat from now on. “Just hiding, I guess. They sent me home from work after I bared my fangs at a guy, and I’ve been afraid to go out since then.”
“Oh Caroline, I’m sorry. I didn’t call because I thought you might be upset with me, but I hope you didn’t think I was mad at you.”
Caroline pulled a loose string on the blanket and twirled it around her finger, cutting off the circulation. “I didn’t really know what to think, Piper. It’s all such a mess.”
“I know we haven’t been close for a long time, but I still care about you, and I’d like to be friends.”
Caroline smiled and pulled the blanket tighter. She could definitely use a friend right about now. “Thanks, Piper.”
“So, what are you doing for blood? Don’t you need to drink every few hours?” Piper’s voice was hesitant, and suddenly Caroline worried that her idea of being friends meant offering her vein. Caroline was definitely not interested in that, even though the thought of sinking her fangs into tender flesh made her mouth start watering and the hunger roar to life in her belly.
“Uh, Roric gave me some blood bags, so I’ve been drinking those, but I’m almost out. I was thinking about calling your brother and asking him to take me to the clinic.”
Caroline could practically hear the eager grin on Piper’s face as she spoke. “I have a better idea. Alec doesn’t work on Saturdays, but Davede does. He said if I wanted to come in and check it out, he’d keep it off the books so Alec wouldn’t know about it. Why don’t you come with me?”
The thought was tempting, but Caroline was hesitant. The thought of drinking from some random stranger just seemed way too bizarre. “I don’t know if I’m ready to drink from a human.”
“You seemed pretty eager to drink from me. Sorry, that was—”
Caroline winced. “No, you’re right. I should be the one apologizing. I can’t believe you still want to be friends with me.”
“Care, that’s what vampires do. It’s not a big deal. You don’t need to feel ashamed of your needs. That’s why they have the clinic, so you can satisfy your cravings. At least try it.”
“I don’t know. It seems so wrong.”
“So just get some blood bags if that’s what you want. You have to get them from there unless Roric’s going to keep bringing them to you. What’s up with you and the sexy VEA dude, anyway? Is he like your mentor, or something? Alec was assigned a mentor when he got turned.”
“Something like that,” Caroline mumbled. Maybe she should see if she could get a mentor. It would be nice to have someone looking out for her, someone other than Roric.
“You don’t sound very excited about it. I think he’s hot. Don’t you like him?”
“He’s a vampire. I don’t trust him.” The full answer to that was not something she was willing to admit or even let herself think too much about, but the thoughts came unbidden. Yes, she liked Roric. Too much. Way more than she ever thought she could like a vampire. And that was the problem. No matter how much she liked him, he would always be a vampire, a bloodthirsty monster. But then, so was she.
“Well, if you’re not going to rely on him for blood, then you might as well come to the clinic with me. Whaddaya say?”
“Okay.” Caroline sighed and tossed the blanket off her lap. It wouldn’t hurt to go once, to see what it was like. And she was desperate to get out of the house.
“Yay! Want me to come pick you up?”
Her fangs dropped, and her mouth filled with saliva at the thought of being alone in a car with Piper, her warm blood perfuming the tiny space. “No, I think it would be better if we met there.”
Chapter 27
Caroline had successfully navigated the walk from her apartment to her car without attacking any neighbors, and she’d made the short trek to the address Piper gave her without stopping to kidnap any pedestrians, so she was feeling pretty proud of herself. She’d showered, put on clean clothes and even some makeup, so she felt more like a regular human than she had in days. She didn’t let herself think too much about the fact that she was going to a clinic where humans volunteered to be bitten by vampires.
The clinic was designed to look like a typical medical center — a low, limestone building with windows tinted with a shiny glaze so people inside could see out but you couldn’t see in — probably so humans would feel safe coming there. A portico hung over the entrance, and the words MODESA SANGUINARIUM were spelled out in bold, backlit letters across the top. What a mouthful. If they were trying to make it sound more professional and less creepy, it wasn’t working. No wonder everyone called it the clinic instead.
Caroline looked for a spot under the golden circle of a parking lot light then chuckled darkly at the old habit. She didn’t need
to protect herself from the monsters that stalked the darkness anymore. Now she was one. She climbed from the car but tensed when she saw Piper doing the same a few rows away. How would she react when she got near her?
She shook her head and forced herself to walk towards Piper. She wasn’t a crazed animal, she could control herself long enough to walk inside, even with a human by her side.
Piper hustled over to her, practically bouncing. Caroline stiffened, terrified Piper was going to grab her in a hug, but Piper skidded to a stop a few feet away. Traces of her scent curled through the air but didn’t overwhelm her. “You came! I wasn’t sure if you would or not, but I’m really glad you did.”
Caroline was grateful for Piper’s company, too. Even though their situations were completely different, somehow it made it easier with a friend by her side. She swallowed down her anxiety and forced a smile.
The space just inside the doors looked clinical, too, with pale, soothing colors and a large, glossy wood check-in center. A pretty vampire with long brown hair and a light blue sweater set smiled at them as they came in. Her eyes scanned them, probably trying to decide if they were supply or demand. “Hello, how can I help you?”
Piper approached the desk and leaned her arms on the counter. “Hi, I’m a friend of Davede’s. Is he here?”
The receptionist picked up the phone and tossed her hair away from her ear. “Sure, I’ll let him know he has a guest. Your name?”
“Piper. He’s expecting me.”
Caroline crossed her arms and looked around the space while they waited for Davede. There was a small waiting area with a couple people flipping through magazines, and soft music filled the silence. It was so normal-looking, it was surreal. The only thing odd was the fact that it was dark outside, and moonlight glowed on the parking lot beyond the windows.
“Piper! Good to see you again.” Davede emerged from the door beyond the reception desk and loped towards them, sporting the same style of preppy, business casual wear he wore the other day and a big smile for Piper.
Piper grinned back at him and tugged on her skirt. Wearing a silky blouse and a short, flouncy skirt, she looked like she’d dressed for a date instead of a blood donation. Caroline felt underdressed in jeans and a tee, but she wasn’t there to flirt. “Hi, Davede. You remember Caroline? She’s never been here before.”
Davede looked at her with surprise but held out a hand. “Oh! Okay, well, glad you came, Caroline. Were you… recently turned?”
Caroline shook his hand but then quickly crossed her arms again. “Yeah, just a few days ago. Rogue attack.”
Davede nodded slowly. “Oh, I see. I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have a mentor?”
Caroline pulled on her bottom lip. “Uh, Roric, I guess? He… found me.”
Davede frowned; she obviously wasn’t following the typical protocol. “Okay, well, no worries, we’ll get you sorted. I’ll have Natasha give Roric a call and put you in the system so you can feed tonight.” He led them back to the receptionist desk.
Caroline gritted her teeth. She didn’t want Roric involved, but it didn’t look like she had much choice. She didn’t realize vampires were so organized.
“What about me?” Piper’s eyes flitted nervously between Davede and the receptionist.
“No need for you to check in. You’re just here to see me tonight, right? I’ll give you a tour, then we can hang out for a while.” Davede winked at her, and a blush flamed in Piper’s freckled cheeks. Davede swallowed hard and swiped his tongue across his bottom lip, and Caroline cringed, imagining what he meant by “hang out.”
“What’s your name and date of birth?” Natasha’s voice drew Caroline’s attention away from Davede and Piper.
“See you later, Care.” Piper waved as she followed Davede out of the foyer.
Anxiety rushed in like a wave, making her sway on her feet, as Caroline turned back to the desk, feeling suddenly alone again. Of course Piper wasn’t going to stay with her. And she certainly didn’t want to watch Davede sucking on Piper. Feeding wasn’t a spectator sport, or at least, she didn’t think it was. Although now that she thought about it, there were probably some vampires who got off on watching others drink. Her stomach churned at the image.
She shook her head to clear it and gave the receptionist her information.
“Do you have a preference?”
Caroline stared at her and blinked a few times, sure she should know what the receptionist meant, but still clueless. “Uh, what?”
“A volunteer preference. You know — gender, age, race — whatever. Any thing you specifically don’t want? We try to pair you up with someone you’ll feel compatible with, but we don’t like to make any assumptions.” Natasha gave her a benign smile.
Caroline tried to imagine herself feeding off a little old man or a teenage girl, and her stomach rolled. The only experience she’d had was with Roric, and it’d been intensely erotic. She could understand why a vampire wouldn’t want to do that with just anybody. She didn’t think she could do it at all, unless it was with Roric, but she wasn’t about to ask him to feed her. Her feelings towards him were too complicated as it was.
She was tempted to tell the girl she just wanted blood bags, but she’d decided to give the clinic a try in hopes that drinking from a human would help ease the never-ending ache that coursed through her body and made her throat tight and sore every time she thought about humans. Like playing a song you’ve got stuck in your head. She was also hoping that drinking from someone else would satisfy the craving she felt every time she thought about Roric.
“Um, male, I guess. Maybe 20-40? Race doesn’t matter.”
Natasha nodded and smiled like she knew that was what Caroline would say. She made a few clicks on her computer then passed a tablet to Caroline. “This is the standard client agreement stating our policies and requirements. Just sign at the bottom with the stylus. Would you like a print out of it?”
Caroline scrolled past long paragraphs of legalese, trying to get to the signature line. There was no way she could read all that right then, but it wasn’t like she had another choice. This was the only blood clinic in Modesa. She signed the tablet and handed it back to Natasha. “Yes, please.”
The printer whirred to life, and a few seconds later Natasha handed Caroline a warm piece of paper. She folded it up and stuck it in her back pocket.
“Any questions?”
A million questions had run through her mind earlier, but nervousness had wiped her mind clean of anything else. She shook her head.
“Okay, well, go ahead and have a seat in the waiting room, and someone will call you when they’re ready for you.” Natasha picked up the phone and started dialing, so Caroline eased down into one of the chairs and ran her nails up and down her thighs, making stripes in the nap of her dark jeans.
She heard Natasha say Roric’s name, and her ears perked up, curious to hear how Roric would respond to the call. The conversation was short, so he must not have had any objections to her being there. Why would he? But still, she felt a twinge of disappointment that he didn’t mind the idea of her drinking from a volunteer.
That was ridiculous. Did she want him to be jealous? To insist she only drink from him? She didn’t want to drink from him, right? She wanted nothing to do with him. He hadn’t tried to contact her since her last night at work, so obviously he’d rather cut ties with her, as well. But that thought made her even more angry.
It was his fault she was in this position; he should at least be checking on her to make sure she was doing okay. He had left her the blood bags, though. And she wasn’t out of them yet. Maybe he intended to bring her more. The thought of seeing him again filled her mind with memories of his face, his smile, his gentle touch, and of course, the addictive taste of his blood. Her body reacted like he was in the room — her hunger roaring to life and her mouth watering. She sighed, frustrated at her desire and her inability to forget about him.
Thankfully, someone called her name,
interrupting her confusing thoughts. She looked up to see a young woman holding the door open to the back hallway. Caroline stood up and headed towards her, wiping her damp palms on her jeans.
The woman gave her a perky smile and ushered her into the hallway. “Welcome! This is your first time? I’m Sarah. There’s a volunteer waiting for you in room five. The room is yours for an hour. The volunteers use numbers to remain anonymous, but if you really connect with one, you can always request them again.”
Caroline nodded and followed the woman to a door with the number five on it and four different-colored sliders. One was slid open, revealing the words Volunteer Waiting. Sarah slid it closed and opened one that said In Use, then she gave a little knock before swinging open the door, letting out a waft of lemon-scented cleaning products.
Caroline gawked at what was inside. The medical setting ended at the threshold, and the room beyond looked more like a boudoir. Dim lighting from wall sconces glowed against satiny, taupe wallpaper and reflected off the glossy, hardwood floors. A bed draped in silky, dark floral linens sat in the middle of the room, and there was a cushiony, leather couch against the wall. A door along the back wall stood partially open, revealing a small bathroom.
Caroline flinched at the sight of a middle-aged man with brown hair and tan skin wearing jeans and a blue tee shirt lounging on the couch. His looks were average, forgettable, but Caroline knew his face would forever be burned in the back of her mind. He smiled widely when he saw her.
“When you’re finished, just switch the sign to Ready for Cleaning and head back out to the lobby to let Natasha know you’re checking out. Enjoy your visit!” Sarah trotted away, closing the door behind herself.
Compelled by the Vampire: Vampire Enforcement Agency Series Book 1 Page 16