by Holly Martin
Luke looked back over his shoulder at Audrey, who was watching him leave and then turned back to Adam. ‘Did you come from Ivy’s house?’ he asked, pointedly and deliberately changing the subject away from him and Audrey. ‘I saw you two at the ditch today.’
‘What did you see?’
‘You, her, together,’ Luke said.
‘There was no together.’
‘The red Merry Dancers seem to think otherwise. It’s a bit late for you to pop by for a cuppa.’
‘I could say the same about you and Audrey.’
‘We’re friends.’
Adam sighed. He had no idea how to define what he had with Ivy. They seemed to have bypassed the friend stage completely. ‘It’s silly, anyway, to allocate meaning to a colour in the sky. Love has nothing to do with it.’
‘Exactly,’ Luke said as he looked back over his shoulder again and Adam found himself looking back at Ivy’s house too.
‘It’s never easy, is it?’ Adam muttered.
Luke shook his head. ‘I wish it was.’
Chapter 6
Oakley woke up as the clock downstairs softly chimed midnight. The room was lit with the silvery glow of the moon and a soft red glow from the sky and for a second he looked around the room in confusion before he realised where he was, at Stardust Lake Hotel with his beautiful girl in his arms. As he snuggled in closer to her, his heart leapt as he realised it was Christmas Day. Today was the day he was going to put his plans in motion and, though he had talked himself in and out of this on the long flight over from the States, after spending the day with Neve and talking to her, he now had more confidence in it and he suddenly didn’t want to wait any more.
He nuzzled into Neve’s neck and kissed her. She stirred in his arms, though she didn’t open her eyes.
‘Wake up, Freckle, it’s Christmas Day.’
She groaned and rolled onto her back to face him. ‘What time is it?’ she asked, sleepily.
‘About a minute after midnight.’
She giggled and reached up to stroke the stubble on his jaw. ‘God, I love you.’
He froze, his heart leaping into his mouth. She had told him she loved him before. They’d been together for ten months and the ‘love’ word had come up very early. He’d thought they were forever and then she’d broken up with him. He wasn’t sure if the reasons she’d given about her breaking up with him because of his career were the real reasons or whether there was something more behind the break-up. He had feared that maybe she just didn’t see a future for them any more. The fact that she still loved him made his heart soar.
She realised what she just said and her smile faltered. But he wasn’t going to let her talk her way out of it.
‘You love me?’
She swallowed and then wrapped her hands round his neck. ‘I always have, always will.’
He needed no further words of encouragement as he bent his head to kiss her. Her lips were soft and pliant as he pressed his mouth to hers. Her mouth opened slightly, letting out a breathy moan, and he slid his tongue inside, tasting and devouring her. The taste of her was sublime, sweet and tangy and something he knew he would never get enough of. He ran his hands through her silky black hair. She moaned again, her kisses urgent and needful.
He moved on top of her, kneeling either side of her, and started to undo the buttons on the shirt she was wearing. He felt sure she would stop him any second so he was surprised that when he’d undone the last button she shrugged out of the shirt desperately and then slid her hands over his back.
‘God, Oakley, you’ve got so big.’
He leaned back so he could look at her and frowned with concern. ‘You’ve lost weight.’
She did look thinner, though her breasts looked somehow bigger and her belly softer and slightly more rounded. He ran his hand over it and her breath hitched. She caught his chin and tugged him back to her mouth. He kissed her again, running his hand over her breast, and she gasped against his lips.
He lay down carefully on top of her, taking his weight on his forearms but needing to feel her skin against his as he kissed her. She was so soft, so warm, her skin velvety smooth. He needed her now.
‘Oakley, please.’
‘Condoms,’ he muttered, tearing his mouth from hers as clarity pierced the fog of desire in his brain. ‘I have them in my bag.’
He quickly climbed off the bed and rummaged in the bag until he found them. He threw the box onto the bedside table, snagging one from the box and quickly rolling it on.
‘Don’t want me getting pregnant, do you?’ Neve said and he wasn’t sure but there seemed a note of bitterness in her voice.
He kissed her as he manoeuvred himself on top of her. ‘One day, Freckle. You are going to look so beautiful, carrying our baby inside you. You can come on set with me and in between takes I will give you massages and rub your feet and rub baby oil into your gorgeous bump. But let’s leave that a few years, shall we? I’d like to get a ring on your finger first and marry you and take you on a year-long honeymoon as soon as filming is finished. We’d take a boat and explore the world, just me, you and the stars. And then we’d come back to our house and after a few more years of making love to you every morning and night, when I’m a bit older and hopefully wiser, we could have a baby or maybe five babies – hell, a whole football team of little sprogs.’
‘You have it all planned out.’
‘I have lots of plans when it comes to you.’
‘Babies don’t come to order.’
He kissed her and smiled. ‘I don’t think we need to worry about any of that just yet.’
He trailed his tongue from her belly button up to her collarbone and any other words about babies or any possible reservations about making love to him were lost in a strangled noise in her throat.
He leaned over her and she wrapped her legs around his hips, urging him closer. He slid carefully inside her, a groan bursting from his throat as he kissed her. Her hands clutched at his back as he moved against her, writhing underneath him.
He pulled back slightly so he could look at her.
‘I can’t wait to take that step in our relationship but give me a few more years first.’
She looked sad at this and he kissed her on the forehead.
‘I love you, Freckle.’
The sadness in her eyes vanished completely. ‘I love you too.’
‘That’s all we need. The rest we can work out along the way, I promise you that.’
She kissed him, sliding her tongue inside his mouth, urging him on with her long legs. He moved against her and as she clung to him, he knew he was right. Whatever would come their way, they would find a way through it all so they could be together.
Ivy stepped out of her lodge onto the street, with her bag half-filled with the Christmas paintings she had made for the other villagers. Snow covered the street in a sparkly blanket, tiny flurries falling through the air, catching the light of the early Christmas Day sun. The lodges were all quiet and still; no tourists would be coming down today. It looked so pretty and peaceful and Ivy couldn’t help but smile, though she knew Adam was partly responsible for the grin on her face. She had no idea what was going to happen between them, but for now she wasn’t going to worry about it. Live for the moment. She was going to have Christmas Day lunch with a lovely man and she would just enjoy that and not worry about what the future held. Nervous and excited, she was enjoying having that flutter of butterflies again. The sensible part of her brain was trying to tell her it wouldn’t be that simple. There were issues that had to be sorted out before she could think about starting a relationship with Adam but her happy heart was in charge today and for once she was going to take a day off from worrying that she could never have a normal relationship again.
She took a deep breath and walked to the end of the street. She’d get the hardest visit over with first. Though the village was predominantly made up of a much older generation, there were a few middle-aged couples with teenage k
ids and then her, Audrey, Antoine, Joy and Finn representing the ‘young uns’ as Deborah called them. She knocked on Joy and Finn’s door. They were a happily married couple with a daughter of five years old and another baby on its way. Rebecca, their daughter, would have been up for hours and had probably opened all of her presents already.
Finn came to the door and smiled when he saw her. ‘I thought you were one of the tourists then, I was going to tell you to clear off,’ he said, opening the door for her so she could come in. ‘Happy Christmas, Ivy. Go through, Joy will be delighted to see you. Rebecca has her playing with My Little Pony at the moment, so I’m sure she will be thankful of the reprieve.’
‘I’ve just come to give you both a Christmas gift, I won’t stay long,’ Ivy said, stepping inside and keeping the smile fixed on her face.
She walked into the lounge area at the back of the shop and watched a heavily pregnant Joy playing with her daughter. The burning ball of emotion clogged her throat and jealousy slammed into her gut. She would never have that.
Joy looked up at her and her face broke into a huge smile at seeing her. She heaved herself up and waddled over to give Ivy a big hug. Guilt sliced through Ivy’s emotions. Joy was so sweet and friendly and Ivy hated that she would often actively avoid visiting the couple because of the emotions it always stirred up in her. Ivy hugged her back, closing her eyes against the wide-eyed Rebecca, who was sitting on the floor behind Joy, watching them.
‘Happy Christmas, Ivy,’ Joy said, squeezing her tight.
‘Happy Christmas. How are you feeling?’ Ivy pulled back and forced herself to look at the large pregnant belly between them.
‘Ready to pop at any second and I’ve still got a month until my due date.’
‘Well, I hope you’re taking it easy and Finn is looking after you.’
Joy grinned. ‘He does everything for me, I barely have to lift a finger. I’m so glad you’re OK. I heard about what happened with the pony yesterday.’
‘Oh, I’m fine. I was more cold than anything else.’
‘And Adam was there to rescue you. He seems nice,’ Joy added, casually.
‘He is.’ Ivy left it at that; she certainly didn’t want to talk about her tentative relationship with Adam, if she could even call it that.
Joy smiled and clearly decided to let the subject drop. ‘Did you want to stop for lunch? Finn has cooked so much food.’
‘No, I’m fine, really. I just came round to give you a present. I have loads of other presents to deliver this morning, so I won’t keep you.’
Ivy delved in her bag and pulled out a large parcel marked with their names on the gift tag.
‘Is this one of your paintings? You know how much I adore them.’ Joy ripped the paper off and held the painting up to the light. It was of a couple, carrying a small child and a baby. Joy was a woodcarver and she had many such pieces in her shop of faceless couples and families with elongated bodies and limbs entwined and Ivy had used Joy’s work as inspiration for this painting. ‘Oh Ivy, I love it! I made you something too, though I haven’t wrapped it.’
Joy moved to the drawers on the side of the room and grabbed a carving and brought it back. It was a small, incredibly detailed carving of the Golden Gate Bridge. ‘I saw the photo of the bridge in your house, so I figured it must be special to you.’
‘Thank you, it’s perfect. The Golden Gate Bridge is somewhere I really want to visit one day, it’s a reminder of dreams not yet realised,’ Ivy explained.
Joy smiled. ‘It’s good to have dreams. Don’t let go of them.’
‘Some dreams are impossible,’ Ivy said, quietly, glancing briefly at Joy’s large belly again. ‘I should go, I have lots of presents to deliver. Hope you all have a lovely day.’
Joy gave her another hug and Finn gave her a wave from his position on the carpet, playing with Rebecca. Ivy hurried out onto the street.
Once she was alone, she breathed a sigh of relief.
She hoped that one day it wouldn’t hurt so much to see people with children. One day she could talk and play with other people’s children and it wouldn’t hurt at all. But for now she would just continue to fake being OK with it and pretend that seeing babies and small children didn’t burn a hole in her heart.
Ivy had spent five years trying for a baby, five years of heartbreaking disappointment every month. And as all their friends – well, Callum’s friends – got pregnant with their first, second and even third child, her womb had stayed resolutely empty. It had never got any easier to deal with.
She’d had all the tests, the doctors had declared there was nothing wrong with her, except there must be because even IVF had failed to produce a child. She was broken, damaged goods, and Callum, her ex-husband, had made it very clear it was all her fault and how disappointed he was in her. And clearly it was her fault because he got his new wife pregnant easily enough.
That was the worst thing about getting involved with Adam, because if it ever turned into something serious she would have to tell him that they could never have children. And when was the right time to bring up something like that? Right now, in his eyes at least, she was someone he liked, someone he found possibly attractive and desirable. She didn’t want that to be replaced with looks of disappointment and eventually revulsion. She couldn’t bear that to happen again, and especially not with Adam.
But it wasn’t going to be something serious with him, this was just a little bit of fun and she was entitled to have that. He would leave in three months so she need never worry about the future. She would enjoy what he was offering and never expect or hope for anything more than that.
She sighed, knowing she was deluding herself if she thought it could be anything casual with Adam. Already it felt like something more and they’d only kissed once.
Ivy spotted Audrey leaving her lodge and, needing some happy relief, she called across to her. Audrey waited for her as Ivy hurried over. Audrey was a couple of years older than Ivy and they had become friends when they had both arrived on the island a few months before. Audrey was bubbly, permanently cheerful, and literally lived in a sparkly world, making fairy lights in jars and glitter lamps to sell in the village. They had chatted over a glass of wine on a few occasions and, although they hadn’t delved too deep into their personal lives, Ivy had got the sense that Audrey had developed a soft spot for Luke Whitaker after helping him with the ponies and reindeer over the last few weeks. Although as far as she could see the feelings weren’t reciprocated.
‘Where are you off to?’ Ivy asked, already guessing the answer.
‘Oh, nowhere,’ Audrey said, vaguely, touching a necklace she was wearing, one Ivy hadn’t seen her wear before. It was an opal and marcasite star and looked antique.
‘That’s a beautiful necklace.’
‘Oh,’ Audrey blushed. ‘Luke gave it to me.’
Ivy was unable to stop her eyebrows disappearing into her hair. Maybe she was wrong. As Audrey was clearly not wanting to talk any further about it, Ivy decided not to pursue it and changed the subject slightly by handing over the present she had made.
‘I made you something.’
‘Oh, thank you. I have something for you too, but I’ll pop by later to give it to you,’ Audrey said, tearing at the paper. She stopped to admire the painting of a herd of Shetland ponies and a couple standing hand-in-hand nearby. The couple were seen from the back so it was impossible to see who it was, though the huge size of the man and the red hair of the girl were big clues. ‘This is wonderful. Is that... me and Luke?’
‘It’s a couple who like horses,’ Ivy shrugged, nonchalantly.
Audrey grinned and threw her arms around Ivy’s neck. ‘I love it, thank you.’
‘I hope you have a lovely Christmas Day,’ Ivy said, meaningfully. ‘Will you be going to the banquet later?’
‘No, I think we’ll... I’ll be having a quiet lunch.’
Ivy suppressed a smile.
‘What about you?’ Audrey asked.
/> ‘I’m probably having lunch at the hotel.’
‘With Adam?’
Ivy smiled. ‘He asked, so...’
Audrey nodded. ‘Well, I hope you have a lovely day too.’
Audrey put the picture just inside her shop and after locking the door, she gave Ivy a wave and headed off in the direction of the hotel.
Ivy watched her go with a smile, wondering if soon they would both have news to share with each other.
It was mid-morning by the time Ivy reached Deborah and Stephen’s house, the last house in the village. Despite it being Christmas Day, everyone had taken the time to chat with her and she’d had more cookies, sweets, mince pies and slices of cake foisted on her than she could count.
Ivy knocked on the door and when Deborah answered, she pulled her into a big hug.
‘Merry Christmas, my dear,’ Deborah said, holding Ivy tight. ‘We didn’t know if you’d be joining us for lunch but you’d be very welcome.’
Deborah held the door open and Ivy stepped inside the warmth of the lodge. Even though the chocolate shop wasn’t open that day, the sweet, mouth-watering smells of chocolate still hung in the air. Stephen got up from his seat near the fire, wearing a dazzling Christmas waistcoat decorated with large satin holly leaves. He came over to give her a hug too.
‘Oh thank you, but I have plans,’ Ivy said.
‘I hope those plans don’t involve sitting in the house on your own,’ Deborah said.
Ivy smiled and Deborah’s face suddenly lit up.
‘Do your lunch plans involve that nice new manager, Adam?’
Ivy blushed. Was nothing secret in this village?
‘Now, Debs, don’t embarrass the poor girl,’ Stephen said. ‘Just because we saw him leaving her house last night, it doesn’t mean they’re together.’
Ivy felt her mouth fall open. ‘You saw him leave my house?’
‘The Merry Dancers were out last night, red ones no less, which as we all know is a foretelling of love. We were watching them and then suddenly we saw Adam come out, looking very happy with himself. We wondered if the Merry Dancers had been working their magic again.’