by Leigh Bale
Lily’s shoulders tensed. “That might not be a good idea, Dad. I don’t know if I want to see anyone yet.”
Her hand slid across her abdomen and Hank’s gaze dipped there before he blinked in understanding. Nate couldn’t blame her for wanting to hide out here at the ranch. She was obviously embarrassed to have people in town find out she was expecting a child out of wedlock. He waited, hoping Hank might say something encouraging to her. Something loving and forgiving.
“There’s no one in town who’d dare cast the first stone at my girl,” Hank said.
Not exactly what Nate would call encouraging, but probably the best a gruff man like Hank Hansen could manage.
Nate cleared his voice, hoping what he said didn’t offend anyone. “All it takes is some heavy trials to remind us that we each need the Lord in our lives. Maybe that’s why God tests us so often. To humble us so we’ll turn to Him for help.”
She looked at him like he’d just sprouted horns. Then her expression softened. “I never thought of it that way, but I’m afraid I brought this trial on myself.”
“It’s nothing you can’t fix. You can always start fresh,” Nate added. “Not everyone in town will be judgmental.”
Her brown eyes flashed with resentment. Nate realized he’d said too much. An outsider who had no right to give Lily advice or participate in this conversation at her kitchen table.
Ducking his head, Nate bit into a thick sandwich and chewed, trying to fight off the whirl of thoughts filling his mind. Thoughts that would bring him nothing but trouble if he let them take hold of him. He wanted to know this woman better. To find out what made her tick. Where she’d been the past years and who had hurt her. Where was the father of Lily’s baby and why wasn’t he here apologizing to her now? The guy could show up any day now to claim Lily and her child.
It’s what Nate would do if Lily were his. He’d never abandon her or their child.
Again, the urge to hightail it away from this ranch as soon as he could filled Nate’s mind. He’d leave for a time, but he knew he’d return. And he didn’t understand why. None of this made any sense. Not at all.
* * *
Why wouldn’t he leave?
Lily tilted her head and stared at her plate, eating half a sandwich before she lost her appetite. She didn’t mind Nate dropping by to keep them apprised of what was going on with the floods, but moving around her kitchen like he belonged there was a bit much. She’d been blunt enough, yet Nate insisted they be friends.
Not a good idea.
“Now that Lily’s home, we’re making plans for Peg,” Hank said.
“What plans?” Nate asked.
“We’re gonna build Emerald Ranch into a breeding and performance horse business. Like it was back when her momma was still alive. Lily’s gonna help.”
Lily jerked her head up and stared at her father. “Dad, we talked about this. I told you I may not—”
“Don’t worry.” He raised a hand to shush her. “I’m very aware of your delicate condition. You can’t ride yet, but there’s lots we can do before the baby comes.”
Nate gave a half smile. “I’m glad you have plans, Hank. I always said it’s a shame to let Peg grow fat inside that stall. Because he’s won the world championship, you could make a tidy sum if you put him to stud.”
Hank nodded, his face exploding into a wide grin. “That’s my plan. It might take us some time, but now Lily’s here, we’re gonna make it work. I’ve got a grandbaby to think about.”
“Dad! I told you I was thinking of giving the baby up for adoption.”
Hank didn’t even blink. “Nonsense. This is your home and we’re a family. It’s where you and the baby belong, darlin’.”
Panic shivered down Lily’s spine. Dad just kept ignoring what she was saying. If she fought him on this, he might throw her out of the house. And she hated discussing the issue in front of Nate.
Dad turned to face him. “Nate, you’re a great hand with a horse. You really get inside their heads. I’ve seen you work. You did a great job training that new horse of yours to compete in the regional cutting competitions. I’ve got several good quarterhorses out in my corrals, but I haven’t been able to break or train them because…because…I haven’t had the time.”
Or because he physically couldn’t do it anymore? He was just too stubborn to admit any kind of weakness. For the past two weeks, Lily had watched her father work, struggling to catch his breath. Barely able to lift a bale of hay. He’d insisted he just had a bad cold, but it never seemed to get any better.
“With my instructions, Lily could train the horses,” Dad continued without missing a beat. “She’s that good.”
“She is, huh?” Nate gazed at Lily, as if assessing her for the truth of Hank’s words.
“Wait ‘til you see her work. But she can’t jeopardize the baby by being bucked off. Would you be willing to break and train the horses for us, Nate? Just until Lily can ride again?”
A blaze of heat rushed through Lily’s face. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Like always, Dad was making plans for her life. Trying to control her. Which was why she’d left in the first place.
“Dad, I don’t know if I want to do this.”
“What are you talking about?” Hank boomed and Lily flinched. “This is your home. Your heritage. Everything I own in the world will one day be yours. Of course you want to be a part of it. You love working with horses as much as I do. What’s gotten into you, girl?”
Lily felt the blood drain from her face even as hot needles of fear prickled her skin. The room seemed to close in on her, like it did whenever Tommy had gotten angry at her. She glanced around the kitchen, looking for a place to hide. A place of refuge. Tears burned the backs of her eyes, but she blinked, refusing to let them fall. Why couldn’t she just have a rational conversation with her father? Just once, she wished he’d listen to her. And try to understand.
“Lily, are you okay?” Nate asked, his voice soft.
“Yes. Fine.” No! she wanted to yell. A part of her felt guilty for planning to leave because she didn’t want to go. She would love to stay at Emerald Ranch forever. But she couldn’t take Dad’s volatile temper. Every time she disagreed with him, he blew his cork.
“Men and women all over the country are looking for good rodeo animals.” Dad ignored her. “Our horses come from excellent stock. We just need to train them and find the buyers.”
“Dad, I won’t—”
“Hush, girl! Of course you will.” Hank turned and kept talking to Nate.
Whether it was the hormones from her pregnancy or years of enduring a man’s foul temper, Lily couldn’t take this right now.
With a huff of exasperation, she threw her napkin down on the table and scraped her chair back. Nate and Hank jerked their heads up in unison.
“I want no part of this,” she said. “I’m this baby’s mother and I’ll decide what I do with my own child. I won’t be forced into anything by you. I won’t!”
Without another word, she whisked her dishes into the sink and walked down the hallway. She closed her bedroom door with a soft click. No slamming door. No screaming or yelling. Just a quiet dismissal.
At the age of twenty-five, Lily was now a grown woman. Way too old to be told what to do by her father. She had her own child to think about. An innocent life that took priority over everything else. Even if that meant giving her sweet baby up for adoption.
And yet, it wasn’t that simple. Lily had come here, depending on Dad to help get her through this difficult time. He’d taken her in and she was beholden to him. As destitute as she was, she couldn’t afford to push her father aside. She loved him. She cared about him. But she couldn’t let herself get sucked back into her old life, either.
And why not?
The thought came unbidden to her brain. Why couldn’t she stay? She loved Emerald Ranch. Loved working with the horses. And Dad had offered to hand her ownership of a world championship reining horse just fo
r sticking around. She’d done nothing to earn that right. No feeding, riding, cleaning manure from stalls or training of Peg. While she’d been off living a wild life with a married man, Dad had stayed here and kept the ranch going. Yet he was willing to hand it all over to her.
If she’d just stay.
Another layer of guilt rested across her heart. Dad needed her. She couldn’t stay, yet she couldn’t leave.
The mattress creaked as she sat down and reached up to clasp her mother’s engagement ring through her shirt.
“What should I do, Lord?” She prayed out loud, her voice a soft quiver.
She patted her stomach and a little foot thumped against her palm. Then she felt a sense of calm pass over her.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll do what’s right for you.” She rarely spoke out loud to the baby, forcing herself not to become too attached to the child she planned to give up for adoption. But it hadn’t worked at all. She loved this baby more than her own life.
The peaceful feeling that enveloped Lily gave her the answer she sought. God wouldn’t let her down. As long as she sought Him out and tried to do what was right, He would guide her. She had to have faith.
Standing, she walked over to the window where she gazed at the corrals outside.
Her child’s birthright.
Lily sighed and shook her head. She didn’t want to be coerced into doing things she didn’t want to do. And she definitely didn’t want to be friends with Nathan Coates.
Or did she…
Chapter Seven
After Lily walked away, Nate stared at her empty chair. Obviously she didn’t approve of Hank’s plan. She wanted to give her baby up for adoption. And that filled Nate’s mind with more questions. Like why she didn’t want to raise her own child.
Hank leaned his elbows on the table and scowled, his sandwich forgotten. “I’ll never understand that girl. Or her mother, either. Never as long as I live.”
Hank muttered to himself, but Nate understood the confusion. He was feeling much the same way. He shouldn’t care what was bothering Lily, but he did.
“So what about it?” Hank urged.
“What about what?”
“Will you work with my quarterhorses?”
“Hank, you need a real horse trainer, not me.”
“You are a real trainer. A good one. I’ll give you stock in the venture. You’d be well compensated for your work, Nate.”
“You can train your own horses, Hank. You did a great job with Peg.”
Hank lowered his head, seeming to study the green linoleum. “I know how to train horses, but I can’t do it anymore, Nate. I…I’m sick.”
A long pause followed while Nate digested this information. Was this the truth, or was Hank trying to play on his sympathy? “Is it serious?”
“Nah! It’s nothing, really. But I can’t work like I used to. I can’t train the horses.”
Even though Hank tried to downplay his physical condition, Nate wasn’t fooled. Nothing but a serious ailment would keep Hank from working with his animals. “What’s wrong with you?”
Hank heaved a labored sigh of disgust. “My ticker’s wearing out. I’d rather not go into more detail than that.”
“Have you seen the doctor?”
Hank’s cheeks mottled with embarrassment. As if he should be able to control this weakness. “Yeah, I had a battery of tests about eight months ago. That’s when I quit smoking. I just need to take it a bit easier. But now I’ve got to think about Lily and my grandbaby. I had forced myself to cut back so I could last long enough for Lily to come home. Now she’s here, I’ve got to convince her to stay. I don’t want to see my place sold at auction. It belongs to Lily now. Her inheritance. She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s the only name in my will. I’m telling you this in confidence, though. You’ve got to promise me you won’t tell Lily I’m sick.”
“Okay, I promise.” Nate figured Lily would find out soon enough on her own. All you had to do was look at Hank to see he wasn’t feeling well. The colorless skin. The gasping breaths. The hacking cough. It all made sense now. But Nate hadn’t realized it was so severe.
“So you can see why I need your help. I’m out of options,” Hank said.
“Why not hire some hands to help out on the place? You used to employ Deeter Smith. He’s good at caring for horses, although he’s not a trainer.”
“Yeah, Deeter’s dependable, too. But I…I’ve had some financial setbacks. I can’t afford to pay an extra hand right now. That’s why I thought you might be willing to help out in return for stock in the venture. I could really use your help, Nate.”
“Is your illness terminal?”
Hank pursed his lips, as if reluctant to answer. Then he nodded his head once. “Afraid so. Which is one more reason you mustn’t tell Lily. She’s got enough worries without mollycoddling her old man.”
Nate agreed, but in fairness to Lily, he figured she ought to know the truth. “How long can you live?”
“Indefinitely, if I cut back on work and take care of myself. I’m trying to do that, but it’s difficult.”
Nate snorted. “So I suspect bacon on your sandwich should be taboo.”
“Cholesterol isn’t my problem. Heart failure is.”
High cholesterol caused a lot of heart problems, but it wasn’t Nate’s place to lecture Hank. And Lily didn’t know about it. Not yet.
Scooting back, Nate stood and picked up his plate before carrying it to the sink. He paused, staring out the window as he thought over what Hank had said. “The problem is, I’ve got a career, Hank. I really don’t have any extra time. You know I work a lot of long hours as the forest ranger. And we’re coming into summer wildfire season.”
Hank gave a harsh laugh. “I’ll take any help you can offer. I’ve got prime horseflesh. Not like that scrubby stuff the other ranchers own.”
True. Nate’s fingers almost itched at the thought of working with quality horses again. “But flooding causes all sorts of other problems. Campgrounds and roads need to be rebuilt before the summer tourist season. I’ve got to check the damage to summer grazing pastures. The floods may have upset the entire watershed in the Ruby Mountains.”
“That bad, huh?”
Nate nodded. “We had an avalanche in Lamoille Canyon that pushed one of the restrooms in the campground almost four hundred feet away. It ended up on the other side of the valley. We’ve never yet found some of the signs. Probably buried under new mountains of dirt. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”
Hank’s expectant smile faded, replaced by a bland frown of acceptance. “Well, it was worth asking. I know you’re busy with the Forest Service. It’s a good career with benefits. It’ll take care of you in your old age. Not like me with a ranch I’m too feeble to keep up anymore and no strong sons to work it with me.”
Nate hated the thought of this ailing man out here all alone once Lily left, slowly watching his ranch fade into ruin while he couldn’t lift a hand to stop it. But what Hank was asking would take a big commitment from Nate. It’d mean he’d be here at Emerald Ranch almost every evening and weekend. With him around all the time, Lily’d only come to resent him more.
A long, swelling silence followed.
“Well, I best be getting back to work. Thanks for lunch,” Nate finally said.
Hank didn’t look up as he stood. “Yeah, thanks for stopping by, Nate. You’re welcome here anytime. Anytime at all.”
Nate doubted that, at least where Lily was concerned. But he decided not to mention her obvious dislike for him.
Hank walked Nate outside to his truck and said farewell. As Nate pulled away from the house, he wished he could help this man and his daughter, but he didn’t see how. Nate’s days were filled with long hours performing watershed studies, building Bailey bridges, completing reports and dealing with irate grazing permittees. He’d already spent too much time dawdling over Lily and her father. And yet he didn’t regret it one bit. He cared about the Hansens, which wasn�
��t good because caring made his heart vulnerable.
But what if he delegated a few projects to his assistants? If he asked, they’d take on a bit more work for him. Then he might be able to cut back a few evenings and Saturdays so he’d have time to work here at Emerald Ranch. His range assistant was pretty busy working with the local grazing permittees, but his fire assistant could help more. Maybe Nate could free up some time so he could help Hank.
Nah! What was he thinking? He was a forest ranger, not a rodeo man or a horse trainer anymore. Besides, Lily hated him. Nate didn’t want to work where he wasn’t wanted. If Hank were smart, he’d sell Emerald Ranch and retire to a comfortable house in town where he could finish out his life in ease and comfort.
Such a shame. Nate gazed at the empty fields where tall hay and alfalfa waved in the wind, waiting to be bailed into hay. And the barn sure could use a fresh coat of paint. With hard work, this could be a lucrative ranch again. It wouldn’t take much to get it in pristine condition. Just a few year’s hard work and a handful of foals fathered by Peg and they’d be able to sell the horses for a high price. Then they could hire a couple of workhands.
It wasn’t Nate’s business. He should stop worrying about the Hansens and their ranch. And he definitely should stop stressing over Lily and her child.
He caught a movement at one of the windows and saw Lily watching him from inside her bedroom. He waved, but she drew back, letting the lace curtains drop across the glass pane. From this distance, Nate wasn’t sure, but he thought her eyes looked red, as if she’d been crying. And that bothered him most of all.
She wasn’t his woman.
Shaking his head, Nate focused on the dirt road as he pressed the accelerator. He wished he could get Lily off his mind. Her father’s predicament pulled at his heartstrings, reminding him of his mom. He must be the oddest of men. Because rather than drive him away, Lily’s pregnancy, her estranged relationship with her father and the distrust Nate saw in her eyes every time she looked at him, only made Nate want to draw nearer to her.