She gently pushed on his good shoulder, but he didn’t move a speck. “You need to lie down.”
His blue gaze captured hers, sending her heartbeat fluttering. “Do you have feelings for that doctor?”
“What? No! He’s only a friend.” She snatched the folded blanket off the end of Luke’s cot, needing something to dwell on besides his intense stare.
“Are you sure? He looked at you as if you’re a big steak he wanted to devour.”
“For heaven’s sake, Luke. Don’t exaggerate.”
She tossed the blanket on the bed and turned to leave, but his hand snaked out and captured hers. “Don’t go. Please.”
“Then stop talking nonsense.”
He looked down. His sad expression twisted her insides into a knot. What was that look for? Did he honestly think she had feelings for Carson?
“Will you please lie down?”
He shook his head and looked up. “Not until I have my say.”
“Fine then. What do you want to say?”
He struggled to stand but didn’t have the strength. He sighed and tugged her down beside him. He gazed into her eyes for a long moment. “I love you, Sarah. I have for years, but I’m finally accepting the fact that you don’t feel the same toward me.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “I do care for you. You’re my best friend, next to Lara and Jo.”
He snorted. “I don’t want to be your friend. I want to be your husband.”
Her hands shook. What did she know of love? About being a wife? “I don’t know what to say. I appreciate so much that you risked your life to bring Claire back. I do care for you, but I don’t know if I’m ready to marry.”
Sadness filled his gaze. “I’ve said my piece. I’ve asked you to marry me, but I won’t ask again. You’ll have to decide what it is you want and whether I’m part of that.”
She reached up, cupping his cheek, hating how her indecision had hurt him. Tears burned her eyes. “Please don’t be sad. I’m confused, especially now that I’ve lost the house.”
He nodded. Then suddenly a fire lit in his eyes. He tugged her forward, pressing his lips against hers. His passion ignited, laying claim to her as his kisses branded her with his love. A flame started deep within her, turning into a roaring blaze like she’d never before experienced. Frightened of her intense feelings, she pushed away. Luke jerked and cried out from where she’d accidentally touched his injured shoulder.
Sarah bolted to her feet. Stared at him for a moment then ran out of the tent. She looked around, glad no one was near, and raced toward the river.
What had gotten into Luke? Her heart pounded, and her lips felt swollen. She touched them and found them still moist from his kisses. She gazed at the glistening water. Was it possible she truly was in love with Luke?
The Petersons’ dog barked and ran toward the nearest hill, tail wagging. Sarah rose from stirring the big kettle of beans. Her heart had barely resumed a normal rhythm since leaving Luke’s tent an hour ago, and now it was pounding again. She set the spoon down and jogged up the hill, hoping for a glimpse of Zelma.
Sarah gasped. What was Lara doing here? Her dear friend sat next to Zelma on the wagon seat. She raised her hand and waved. Mr. Peterson rode alongside the wagon with one of the twins walking behind it and the other one riding his horse. Tears burned Sarah’s eyes. She’d never needed to talk to Lara as much as she did now. She knew the moment Lara noticed the charred remains of the house.
The wagon stopped, and Lara climbed down the side and stepped into Sarah’s open arms.
“What are you doing here? Oh, I’ve missed you.”
“Me, too.”
Beth peeked through the wagon’s opening and waved. “Howdy, Sarah!”
“You brought the girls, too!” Sarah wiped the tears from her eyes.
Beth and Zelma helped Missy climb onto the bench, and then Lara lifted her younger daughter down while Beth managed to shinny down herself. The four females enveloped each other in a big hug. Zelma beamed at them from the wagon’s bench.
“I’m so glad to see y’all.” Sarah kissed the girls.
“Hey!” Cody ran toward them, and the girls hugged their cousin.
“We thought we’d come to help you move in and set up house.” Lara’s expression dimmed. “What happened to your house?”
Sarah shook her head. “It’s a long story.” She looked up at Zelma, who’d been staring at the house remains with a sad expression. “It’s good to have you back.”
“Good to be back, but I have to admit, it’s a sad thing to see that pretty house a heap of rubble. Was it lightning?”
“No. Let’s get the wagon parked, and then I’ll explain what happened. Where’s Lottie? Did you get her settled somewhere?”
Lara nodded. “My neighbor, Mrs. Easton is staying with her and cooking for Gabe until we get back. I think she’s going to be all right.” Lara smiled. “She sure asked a lot of questions about Jack.”
“I’m so glad she’s all right. It was a brave thing Jack did.” She gazed up the hill. “I’m afraid we’ll need to go to town and get a hotel room for you since I have nowhere here for you to stay.”
“I think it would be a good idea for you to come, too. You could do with some pampering.” Lara smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Sarah’s ear. “Now, where’s that sweet little urchin of yours? Zelma’s been telling me all about her.”
“Napping, but I should check on her. It’s been a rough day for all of us.”
Sarah and Lara walked over to where the tents had been staked and ducked inside Sarah’s tent, which Jack had set up again. Claire lay on the cot, still asleep. Staying in town was probably a good idea since she had next to nothing in the way of possessions.
Lara bent over the sleeping toddler. “She’s precious. Her coloring is similar to yours.”
Sarah smiled, warmed by her friend’s comment. “Except she has blue eyes, like her mother’s.”
“And you know nothing about her?”
“No. Nothing at all.” She motioned her friend outside.
Lara gazed in the direction of the barn. “Are Jack and Luke working up there?”
“Not Luke. He’s recovering from a gunshot wound.”
Lara’s gaze zipped to hers. “How did that happen?”
“Let’s have a seat, and I’ll explain everything. But first let me peek in on Luke and see if there’s anything he needs.”
She crossed over to his tent. “Luke? Can I come in?” When he didn’t answer, she lifted up the flap and peered in. He lay on his side in a way that she couldn’t see his face. Her stomach fluttered as if butterflies had invaded it. There was something so romantic about watching him sleep. She hated seeing him hurting, especially when he got injured helping her. She shouldn’t be here. She backed away and dropped the flap then looped her arm through Lara’s. “C’mon, and I’ll tell you what all’s happened.”
As the morning birds serenaded him, Luke wrestled with the shovel. Digging with one hand was a chore, but finally he hit the top of his money box. He didn’t bother to dig it out but smashed the lid with the shovel point. He bent down, sucking in a sharp breath when hot pain seared his arm and torso. Sweat beaded on his forehead from the exertion.
He pulled out the bag that held his cash and carried it to his cot. He plopped down, breathing hard, and dumped out the cash, staring at his life’s earnings. It was more than enough to build a livery and to stock it fairly well. But that dream had quickly died after yesterday’s talk with Sarah. He couldn’t fight her anymore. She didn’t want him, so he needed to leave. It would be less painful for them both.
Footsteps shuffled his way. He tossed his blanket over the money as Jack lifted the flap.
“What’s all that racket?” He glanced at the pile of dirt and lifted one eyebrow. “Why are you dressed? You’re supposed to be resting.”
“Can’t. Got something to do. Would you saddle Golden Boy for me?”
Jack narr
owed his eyes. “You got no business riding anywhere in the condition you’re in.”
Luke glared at him. “Either you saddle him, or I’ll do it myself. I’ll even ride bareback if I have to.”
Jack stepped inside, but he couldn’t stand up straight. “What’s so all-fired important that you have to do it now?”
Luke stared at his dirty socks, cringing that Sarah had seen them. “I had a talk with Sarah last night. I’ve finally realized that I need to leave. I’m going back to Gabe’s.”
“You can’t ride that far. You’ll never make it.”
“I can, and I will—at least as far as the train depot.”
Jack smirked. “At least you still have some sense. I’ll go saddle our horses.”
“You’re not going.”
“I am as far as the depot. I want to make sure you make it on the train without passing out. Then I’ll wire Gabe so he’ll know to meet you in Guthrie.”
“I don’t need him to.”
Jack grunted and backed out of the tent.
Luke flipped the blanket back. He pulled out fifty dollars then shoved the rest of his money into the bag. He grabbed one of his boots and stomped into it. Though he wouldn’t admit it, he was glad Jack was riding with him. He just hoped they didn’t encounter the women in town. He wanted to make a clean getaway.
As he struggled into his other boot, he couldn’t help wondering if he was a coward to ride off without telling Sarah good-bye. But what else was there to say? She’d made her feelings clear.
By the time Jack returned, he’d managed to toss his clothes and personal items into his saddlebags and satchel. He exited the tent and gazed a final time at the ruins of Sarah’s house. He’d never understand why God allowed it to be destroyed.
“You ready?” Jack tossed Golden Boy’s reins over his neck. Luke handed him the saddlebags, and Jack tied them on then looped the satchel over the saddle horn. Jack boosted him up, and Luke almost fell off the other side. He clutched the horn and held on with his knees until the wave of weakness passed. Then he wiggled back into the saddle.
“Here.” He handed Jack the bag with the majority of his money in it, along with the short note he’d penned to Sarah.
“What is it?”
“Just guard it well until you can give it to Sarah.”
“You’re not going to tell me what it is?”
“No.” Luke took a final glance around the place he’d hoped might have been a new beginning for him and Sarah. Instead, it was the end. He gathered the reins and nudged his horse forward, saying good-bye to his long-held dream of a life with the only woman he’d ever loved.
Sarah had thoroughly enjoyed her time with Lara and the children at the hotel last night. Cody had joined them so he could be with his cousins. They walked out of the hotel, their stomachs full after a delicious breakfast she didn’t have to cook.
Lara looked around. “This town reminds me of Guthrie in the beginning. They’ve made good headway, but I was surprised to find that there is a hotel already.”
Sarah laughed. “You have to admit it’s not much of a hotel, but at least we didn’t have to sleep under the stars. Too many mosquitoes this time of year for that.”
The children ran ahead. Claire wiggled to get down, so Sarah let her walk but held on to her hand. They strolled past new buildings and others still in the process of being erected. Fewer lots than on her last visit still held a tent.
“Have you made a decision about what to do?”
Sarah shrugged. “What choice do I have? Zelma informed me that the people who needed them next had wired them that they were going to have to hold off on their building project, so the Peterson men are free to rebuild my house, if I only had the money.”
Lara’s mouth twisted the way it did when she was thinking. The children stopped to peer in a barbershop window, and they soon caught up with them.
“It looks like there is still plenty of work in Anadarko. What if you offered to let the Petersons live on your land for free? Some of the men could work on your house while the others found jobs in town? It could benefit all of you.”
“True, but I still don’t have the money to rebuild. I paid Mr. Peterson last night for building the house and barn. I could tell he hated to take it, but they’d done the work and deserved the money. It wasn’t their fault that awful man set fire to the house.”
“Why did he do that?”
“To insure their getaway with Claire.”
Lara shook her head. “I can’t believe they wanted Claire to give to their daughter. I feel bad for the woman, but stealing a child is unconscionable.”
“Yes. It’s horrible.”
Lara grasped her hand. “I’ll talk to Gabe when we return home. I’m sure we could loan you the money you need.”
Sarah shook her head. “Thank you, but I don’t want to start out in debt.”
They reached the town square. Sarah lifted up Claire as they crossed the street. “Why don’t we sit and let the children work off some of their energy?”
“That sounds delightful.” Lara smiled, but her light green eyes held concern.
While the children chased one another on the square, Sarah and Lara sat down on a bench someone had recently built.
“Have you thought any more about Luke?”
“Only all night. I don’t know what to do.”
Lara squeezed her hand. “Sarah, you’ve been in love with Luke for as long as I can remember. What’s holding you back?”
She gazed at her friend. “What makes you say that? How can you know that I love him when I don’t even know it?”
“Because whenever he walks into a room, your eyes go straight to him and your mouth tilts up in a special smile you reserve for him alone. Or when we’re eating at the table, you cast shy glances his way. I’ve felt for years that God meant for you to be together.”
“Then how come I don’t know it?”
Claire stopped her stiff-legged run to look at Sarah, as if worried by the tone of her voice. She toddled toward her, flopping against Sarah’s skirts. She picked up the girl, hugging her. “I know I’ve hurt Luke by not agreeing to marry him. He’s such a good man. But what if I marry him and he leaves me like my father did my mother?”
Lara draped her arm around Sarah’s shoulders. “Luke would never do that. You’re worrying far too much. Everyone but you can see how much you two are meant for one another. The only thing I know to do is pray about it, and if it’s God will for Luke to be part of your life, you simply need to surrender to it.”
She had prayed. Over and over and over. Sarah watched the children gleefully playing while she felt so miserable. She’d wrestled half the night, struggling to know what to do. All she could think about was that amazing kiss that had set her body on fire and how Luke might have been killed rescuing Claire.
She couldn’t stand the thought of him not being in her life. His smile brought her joy every time she saw it. She loved the teasing glint to his eyes. She loved everything about him.
And that kiss. Oh my. It was like nothing she’d ever experienced. She could spend a lifetime receiving kisses from Luke and never grow tired of them.
“Pa!” Cody ran to the edge of the lawn, waving.
Jack turned his horse and rode up to them, looking solemn. Sarah rose, sensing something else bad had happened. Jack looked at her with sad eyes and held out a dirty burlap sack. In the distance, the train whistled. “Luke asked me to give you this.”
“What is it?”
Jack shrugged. “Don’t know. I didn’t look.”
Sarah took the bag and sat down. Her stomach clenched as she was overcome with unease. She pulled the bag open and stared at what had to be hundreds of dollars and a single piece of paper. She tugged out the paper and turned it over. Her heart tightened. “It’s from Luke.”
“What does it say?” Lara asked.
Tears burned Sarah’s eyes. “It’s his savings. He wants me to use it to rebuild my house.”
/> “But what about his livery?” Lara looked at Jack the same time Sarah did.
“He’s not building it. He’s at the depot now, returning to Guthrie.”
“No!” Sarah jumped up. “I don’t want his money.”
“Then you’d better hurry if you plan on givin’ it back.” Jack held out his reins.
Sarah handed Claire to Lara. She snatched the reins and lifted her foot. Jack hauled her up. As she dropped into the saddle, he tossed the reins over his horse’s neck. Sarah grabbed them, adjusted her grip, and then turned the horse toward the train that was already pulling into the station. “Heyah!”
The poor animal lurched forward and galloped down the street. People cast Sarah angry looks as they jogged to get out of her way. “Please, God. Let me get there in time.”
She made the short distance quickly, but the people who had disembarked were already clearing the depot. Sarah slid off the horse, slapped the reins around the hitching post, and ran up the stairs. She searched the depot, but Luke wasn’t there. The conductor closed the door to the first car. Sarah lifted her skirts and ran to the back of the third car, hoping to find an open door. “Please, God.”
She reached for the handle, pressed it down, and pulled back. It opened! She stepped inside. People where still standing in the aisle, finding their seats—and then she looked up. Luke stood at the far end of the aisle, staring at her. He shook his head and walked toward her. She backed out the door and held it, not wanting an audience for what she needed to say.
He stepped onto the landing between the rail cars and closed the door, his gaze wary.
She held up the bag. “I don’t want your money.”
He snorted a laugh. “I should have known. You don’t want anything to do with me.”
The pain in his voice gutted her. She’d done this to him. “You’re wrong. I don’t want your money. I want you.”
His gaze shot to hers, tentative—hopeful. “What?”
“I’m so sorry, Luke. I’ve been stupid. Stubborn. Scared.”
“Scared of me?”
“No, scared of my past. Scared that if we married I’d spoil whatever good there was between us.”
Sarah's Surrender Page 26