Escapees and Fevered Minds

by David Owain Hughes

  It took Olaf and Rotwiler to pull Mr. Tickles free of Norm, who crashed down onto the coffee table, which obliterated under his weight. He held his hand as he rolled about by Angharad’s feet.

  “Fucking pathetic!”

  “I suggest you stay down,” Mr. Tickles growled, “or you’ll get a pasting!”

  The bodyguards struggled to hold him back as Wadsworth stepped into the room.

  “Stop!” Wadsworth yelled. “What the bloody hell is going on in here?! I asked for no violence! You have nothing against each other.”

  “That’s a laugh!” Sam said.

  Crystal gave her a hard stare. “You promised,” she said, knowing she couldn’t fully trust her sister – she had to end her life, one way or another.

  Sam nodded, and then looked away.

  “You’ve broken the bloody table!” Wadsworth said, “That was brought back from the deepest parts of Congo!”

  “It’s a fucking coffee table!” Mr. Tickles said.

  “God! I can’t leave you lot unattended!” he said sharply, before taking another disgusted look at the demolished table. He rolled his eyes and uttered, “Bloody commoners!” under his breath.

  “What did you call us?” Mr. Tickles said.

  “May I remind you of the hired hands, sir,” Wadsworth said, indicating the FBI wannabes. “So, please, if you could all just take a seat so I can kick proceedings off…”

  “What have you got in your hands?” Mr. Tickles asked.

  “Please. Sit!” the butler demanded, losing his patience. “I have in my hands some interesting information which has come my way – it will help explain one or two things, I’m sure.”

  “Is it the newspaper clipping you sent me?” Crystal asked.

  “No—well, yes, it’s in here, among other clippings, documents, and records,” Wadsworth said, giving each person in the room a printout.

  “What the hell is this shit?!” Mr. Tickles asked. “I didn’t come here to read, I came here to find out the truth!”

  “If you take five minutes to read through that, it will give you some form of indication.”

  A hush fell over the room as the guests leafed through the papers Wadsworth had given them.

  “Ha! I love the sheet of Facebook posts – they’re fucking hilarious!” Crystal said.

  “What’s Facebook?” Norm asked.

  Crystal looked at him. “Never mind, it’ll take too long to explain.”

  “I see what’s going on here,” Sam said.

  “What?” Crystal asked.

  “Yes, spill!” Norm said.

  “Care to enlighten the rest of the group, Samantha?” Wadsworth said.

  “Yes, tell us, Sam!” Harry pushed.

  “Well—”

  Before she could say another word, Crystal broke in. “Samantha, I want—I’m sorry.”

  “Crystal, what are you fucking doing?!” Harry asked.

  “Oh, be quiet!” she snapped at him for the first time in their relationship. “From now on, I’m going to be the boss! And if you don’t fucking like it, I’ll throw you onto a fire and be done with it all!”

  A gasp came from Harry and Samantha.

  “But—”

  “But nothing! Shut up and listen, wooden dick – the rest of you, too!”

  “Wait until we get out of here, bitch!” Harry told her.

  “Harry, please! Be quiet! I need to say something to my sister.” Looking at Sam, Crystal felt tears building in her eyes as her sister looked away from her. All the other guests looked at Crystal as she stood. “Sam, I have so much to say to you…”

  “I wouldn’t bother if I was you!” Sam said. “You’ll put me off my food.”

  “You may not want to listen, but I’m going to tell you anyway.”

  “Just say what you have to say, so we can all find out what’s going on and then go our separate ways!”

  “Huh,” Crystal sighed. “I want to make a confession.”

  “Bitch, be quiet – you have no idea—”

  “Harry, love, I have to do this. The guilt has been weighing me down for far too many years. I thought I could cope with it all, but not any longer. All the running we have been doing, all the lies, all the killing, all the pretence of being an act…I can’t take the strain;,” she said, tears running down her face.

  “Crystal!” Harry bellowed. “I can’t believe you are acting like this!”

  “Shh, Harry,” she said, stroking his face lovingly. “It’s true, you know – you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you, but I need to get this weight off my chest.”

  Sam turned her head and looked at her sister – their eyes fused. “Just say what you have to,” she said.

  Crystal nodded. “My sister is innocent of her crimes. It was me who committed the murders.”

  “What murders are you talking about?” Mr. Tickles asked.

  “My parents – I killed them, and blamed it all on her. I’ve regretted it for years, and I’m truly sorry, Sam.” More tears rolled down Crystal’s face. “I know you’ll never be able to forgive me, and I know you want to take my life, but I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. I’ve always loved my baby sister, and I’m deeply sorry for what I did to you…”

  Sam wiped a few loose tears from her face but said nothing.

  “And if I need to tell this all to the police, then I will – I won’t see you going back to that hospital, Sam.”

  “Why did you do it?!” Sam asked.

  “Because I was jealous of you – you had it all. You even had Mam and Dad’s approval of everything. They didn’t even want me going to drama school or anything – they had me trapped. I felt suffocated. They needed to be removed from my life, which Harry helped me to see. I saw you as my scapegoat, I’m sorry,” she said, wiping tears away. “That day at the hospital, I planned to break you out…”

  “What?!” Harry blurted. “I never knew that!”

  “No, because I knew you’d be mad. That’s why I wanted to go there that day, but you were so irate when you saw me, Sam, that I knew there was no way I could do it, and so I was forced to leave you there.”

  Sam stood there, her mouth open but no words coming out. “Did you plan to leave me there to rot?”

  “No, I would have come back for you, but the time had to be right. You have to believe me!” Crystal pleaded. “The last few days, all I’ve been able to think about is what I was going to say to you, and now it’s here, all I can really say is sorry. Sorry for the whole fucking mess I’ve caused, and sorry for killing your parents.”

  “You mean our parents?”

  “Biologically, yes, but they will never, ever be my parents. I swear I hated them from the moment I opened my eyes…”

  Sam sighed. “It’s all too much to take in, Crystal. You had me locked away for ten fucking years! Ten! I think it’s going to take more than a few choice words and some tears to make me come around, sorry.”

  “Will you try? After this, we could try to move on – you could come with Harry and me?”

  “Hold the fuck on,” Harry said. “We’ve always been a double act, you know that!”

  “Don’t fret, Harry – I don’t think I’d be interested in tagging along!” Sam said, sitting down.

  The others looked at each other, unsure what to say.

  “Look, this is all very touching, but can we please get on with what we came here for tonight?” Norm said, breaking the silence.

  “Oh, look at the big man!” Angharad said.

  He gave her a stiff look. “Please, love, I have to speak my mind.”

  “I never knew your balls were so weighty!”

  “Sam, you have the floor,” Wadsworth interrupted.

  “Well,” Sam began, “without really having to look at this stuff, I can see the connection here. Myself, Norm and Santa Klaws were all locked up at Castell Hirwaun together, which links us. Not only that, but our medical records are here,” she said, holding them up for everyone to se
e. “Plus, Crystal is my sister, and Mr. Tickles and Klaws are brothers. I can only assume we were brought here due to our connections...”

  “How did you know Klaws was my brother?” Mr. Tickles asked.

  “Because I’ve spoken with him,” she said. Some of the others gasped.

  “But…How?”

  “As I said, he was inside with me – I saw him a few times, but I thought his ramblings were that of a madman.”

  “Yes. Very good, Samantha. You’ve also appeared in a book together!” Wadsworth announced. “Some of you may have read it, others not. That’s the main reason you have all been brought here…”

  “A book?!” Norm asked.

  “Yes,” Wadsworth said, producing a copy of White Walls and Straitjackets from behind his back.

  “Let me see!” Norm said.

  “I’ve read it,” Mr. Tickles said.

  “Harry and I also,” Crystal said. “Do you know of Shelby and Hob?”

  Wadsworth turned to Crystal. “Why yes, Hob actually helped me gather everyone. Shelby would have been a guest here this evening, but he seems to have gone missing…”

  Crystal looked away from the butler, not wanting to give anything away.

  “How did the writer know so much about us?” Norm asked.

  “I’m getting to that,” Wadsworth said. “Have any of you managed to work it out yet?”

  “No,” Crystal said.

  Mr. Tickles shook his head, along with Norm.

  “What about you, Sam?”

  “I don’t know what to think – my head is spinning!”

  “Well, stop it spinning!” Wadsworth said. “It’s time I took you all into the dining room to meet your host.”

  “Will the host give us all the answers we seek?” Crystal asked.

  “Oh, I’m sure your host will be more than happy to divulge all the information you’re after!”

  “Well, what the hell are we waiting for? Let’s go and have dinner with our host!” Mr. Tickles said, which was followed by a robust burst of laughter.

  “Yes, quite!” Wadsworth said. “Please, if you could all follow me.”

  THE DINNER

  As they crossed the hallway from the sitting room to the dining room, something suddenly struck Crystal: Nobody’s shoes were making a sound on the stone flooring. She found that odd, as her heels should have been clacking along the ground – so too should have Sam’s, but no footfalls could be heard.

  Stopping, she looked closer at the floor, but couldn’t work it out. She stomped her foot a few times, but still no sound came. Bending, she reached out and touched the floor, but drew her hand back sharply – it felt fake. Much like a wall does when you tap it.

  With walls in mind, she went to the nearest one and tapped on it. Just like the floor, it was fake. “What the…?” she said, looking about her. She thought she’d try the stairs, but when she got there she realised the whole staircase and back of the house was fake as well.

  It was nothing more than a backdrop.

  Like a backdrop to a theatre stage, she thought. “What’s going on, Harry?!”

  “I don’t know, but I’m not liking it!”

  “Uh-hmm!”

  Turning, she saw Wadsworth standing by the door to the dining area, his bodyguards in tow.

  “Would you like to join the rest of us?” he asked.

  For the first time, she heard it – the sound of keys, as though someone was working away on a typewriter. When a series of clicks were followed by a ding, Crystal knew that’s exactly what she was hearing.

  Reluctantly, she nodded. “Okay,” she said, following the butler.

  The closer they got to the dining room door, the louder the clicking sounds became. It started to sound like thunder in her ears – tears started to roll down her cheeks, as she feared the worst.

  “It’ll be all right, Crystal – I’m here with you!” Harry said. “And whatever happens, we will face it together.”

  She held him tighter, and tighter still as she got to the dining room door and looked in. The other guests parted like the Red Sea, giving her a perfect view of the person sat at the plush-looking table.

  A typewriter and a pint of beer were set before him. When she latched eyes with the big bearded man, she knew him…“David!”

  He looked up at her and then pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. His long hair, which flanked his face, hung loose – he looked as though he hadn’t slept in days. “Hello, Crystal. It’s nice to finally meet you!” he said. “I have to say, you look much better in the flesh than you do inside my head. As a matter of fact, you all do!”

  “What in the fuck is going on here?” Sam asked. She looked back at Crystal, but all Crystal could do was shrug her shoulders.

  David took a sip of his beer before talking. “Come, Crystal. You know exactly what’s going on, don’t you?” he said. “Haven’t you been having dreams about me? Haven’t you all? Take a good look at my face and tell me you haven’t!”

  “You seem familiar, that’s for sure,” Mr. Tickles confessed.

  “You’ve been in my dreams,” Norm said.

  “Mine, too,” Sam confirmed.

  “Good, because you’ve all been in my mind for years. I haven’t been able to get rid of you!” David said.

  “You wrote White Walls, didn’t you?” Crystal asked.

  He smiled, letting a chuckle escape. “Of course I did. I even gave myself a small cameo.”

  “How do you know so much about us?” Norm asked.

  David turned to the lumberjack. “Haven’t you worked it out?”

  “Worked what out?” Norm demanded.

  “You?” David asked Mr. Tickles, who shook his head.

  “It’s all very simple. I created you – you’re nothing more than fictional characters. All of you. Even Wadsworth.”

  “I can see why you were in the loony bin now!” Sam said, sniggering. “You might be able to fool the rest of them, but not me.” Stepping up to him, she got into his face. “I remember seeing you at the hospital.”

  David smiled. “Of course you do – I planted that memory in your mind, much like I made you a victim and everything else that’s been going on. It’s all written here!” he said gleefully, pointing at the stack of paper by the side of the typewriter.

  “What is it?” Mr. Tickles asked.

  “Escapees and Fevered Minds – the sequel to White Walls,” he said.

  “You’re talking through your arse!” Mr. Tickles said.

  “Oh, I’m afraid not. You’re nothing more than words on paper! And I can prove it – I could tell you things about yourselves that not even you know,” he said, and then he reeled off personal information about each and every one of them.

  “This can’t be true!” Sam said.

  “I think it is,” Crystal said, wiping a tear off her cheek. “My whole life has been…fake?” she asked.

  “You’ve not lived a life, Crystal – it’s all in your bogus head,” David said. “I brought you all here to tell you that.”

  “Where are we?” Mr. Tickles asked.

  “In a corner of my imagination,” David said.

  “But the breakout? The newspaper reports…?” Norm said.

  “What about them?”

  “It’s all too real to be…”

  David shook his head. “It’s all fiction. Every step you’ve made to get this far has been written by me. All your thoughts, activities, meals, fears and movements were written days and days ago.”

  “If this is true, why bring us here to tell us that? There must be more to it?!” Crystal demanded.

  “Yes, there is – I want to kill you all off!” David said. “I don’t normally write sequels, but I felt I was obliged to. Some of you – mainly you, Crystal – have plagued my mind, have yearned to be written about again. But it ends here. Tonight!”

  “You and whose fucking army, pal?!” Mr. Tickles asked.

  “I don’t need an army – I have a badass
on standby!” David said, stepping away from the typewriter.

  “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?!” Sam asked.

  “Just moving to a safer area…” he said, smiling.

  Mr. Tickles opened his mouth to speak, but an explosion of glass from behind quieted him. He, Norm, Crystal, Sam and both Sideshows turned around.

  Through the shower of glass came a large box wrapped in brightly coloured paper, complete with bow and tag. Instead of hitting the floor, it landed in Mr. Tickles’ hands. Immediately he could hear ticking coming from within it.

  BOOM!

  The huge blast tore the clown, Norm, Angharad and Sideshow Necrotic asunder – their blood, guts and hunks of bone plastered the walls, floor and table. Sideshow Nightshade screamed as a chunk of shrapnel lodged in her shoulder, causing her to go to ground.

  Crystal and Sam were both thrown to the floor, the bang ringing in their ears. Crystal could only watch as David and Wadsworth slipped out the dining room door, along with the bodyguards.

  “Filthy bastard!” she screamed.

  Pushing Harry to safety under the table, she got to her knees and made her way over to Sam, who was bleeding from the nose and ears. “Are you okay? Can you stand?”

  Sam nodded but winced as she got into a sitting position.

  “Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!” a voice yelled behind them.

  Looking over her shoulder, Crystal saw Klaws walk through the ruptured window – most of the wall had collapsed under the abnormity of the bomb’s destruction. He held in his hands a giant fire axe, which he raised above his head. “Time to die, just like all naughty children!” he said.

  Before he could bring the axe down on Crystal and her sister, Sideshow Nightshade stepped in and rammed a knife into the man’s shoulder – his blood spurted wildly as he staggered about the room.

  “Argh!” he yelled, bounding off a wall.

  “Quick, let’s go!” Nightshade said, helping Crystal get Sam off the floor.

  Fire had started to climb the walls, and thick smoke engulfed them. The house groaned and creaked as the flames started to consume it.

  “Bitch!” Klaws yelled, swinging the axe at Nightshade, who was forced to let go of Sam to avoid a hit to the face.