Tuck

by Chelsea Handcock

  Tuck knew she was making a joke, but the truth was she was right. Every woman who was involved in the Defiance chapter had some kind of shitty thing happen to her—Addy taken at her farm and beaten, Carri taken right off the front porch of the Clubhouse, and Reagan, she had been more to blame for her predicament than the RBMC, but it was all connected. Shit, his own sister got sucked in, and Creed then Cathy, now his kid and Katie.

  “Oh, stop it, Tuck, it was a bad joke, and I shouldn’t have said it.”

  Tuck had laid back down, and Katie was now cradled in the crook of his arm with her head on his chest. They had never done this before. Tuck had never been a man who liked to cuddle, but with Katie in his arms, in that shitty room with the fucking hell that waited outside the door for him, he found he liked it a lot more than he should. He hugged her closer and kissed the crown of her head.

  “It’s true though, Katie, it’s one of the reasons I wanted you to leave, have a normal life, live your dreams without all this shit interfering.”

  Katie lifted her head and kissed his jaw and said with a small smile, “Yeah, we’ve both seen how that worked out.”

  He was going to say something, but she kept going, so he just listened, really listened, to her for once.

  “Tuck, you don’t get it, never have. You built up in your mind what my life should be like, but I’m the one who has to live it, not you. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a Doctor, and Lexington was a good choice for me. I’ll never regret doing my Residency there, but I had my reasons for wanting to stay in Defiance.”

  Tuck let out a breath and said, “We’re really going to do this now?”

  “Why not?” Katie said, looking him square in the eyes. “You’ve never given me a chance to explain how I felt about your interference in my life, and since we’re stuck here for the foreseeable future or until Misty comes down off her high, I think it might be about time we cleared the air, don’t you?”

  “You would have stayed for me, and I couldn’t have that. I don’t have what you need, Katie, I can’t give you what you deserve,” Tuck blurted out.

  “And what do I deserve, Tuck?” Katie asked.

  “A good life with a good man, one who won’t get you kidnapped and hurt. One who will be home every day at six to eat dinner with you, and most importantly, one who will always put you first. I’m not that man Katie, the RBMC comes first for me. I’ll never be able to plan to be home for dinner, hell, I could be gone at any moment for months at a time. Then there’s the fact that it isn’t just the other MCs you have to worry about. The government is just as fucking corrupt and could at any minute decide to use you or anyone close to me for some reason. I refuse to do that to you or any other woman.”

  Chapter Eight

  Katie had laid there, listening to Tuck, and was getting a little aggravated, but for the first time in a long time, she felt safe, warm, and whole. It made no sense—she was far from safe—but there was something about being in his arms, talking with him like caring compassionate human beings for the first time in her life. He gave her the typical bullshit—she was too good for the MC life, the danger, and unpredictability—but hadn’t listened to a word she’d said before. Katie already knew all this, lived it with her father, her brother, and so many adoptive Uncles, she couldn’t count them all if she wanted to.

  Tuck had always been hardheaded, but this was getting ridiculous. She was going to lay it all out for him again and hope some small part of it actually sunk in this time. Then they needed to talk about what Misty had said and make plans. She already knew he wasn’t going to like what she had come up with, but in her mind, it was the only way.

  “Tuck, I appreciate everything you’ve said. I do want and deserve those things, but have you ever stopped to think about what it would be like living with a doctor, an ER Doctor no less? I won’t have a set schedule, I’ll have to go in at the drop of a hat, on a moment’s notice. Hell, working an eighteen-hour shift at some hospitals is expected. Plus, come on, give me a little credit here, I’m not going to lie to you and say you being in Defiance wasn’t part of the reason I wanted to stay. There’s something about you and this connection I feel with you.” Tuck went to talk, but Katie held up her hand.

  “No wait let me finish. You’ve always kept me at arm’s length, made it perfectly clear you didn’t have any intentions toward me beyond friendship.” Katie could tell he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth shut and just listened, so she laid her head back down on his chest and finished, “Tuck you weren’t the only reason I wanted to stay. I have friends in Defiance, I had a job I loved, then there was Doc.” Tuck growled, and Katie laughed.

  “Oh, come on, don’t go all caveman on me now, you don’t get to do that after pushing me away for years,” Katie said, patting him lightly on the chest. “Did you know Doc is one of the leading ER docs in the country? That he only picks one resident to work with every four years and he had picked me? Out of thousands of applicants, I’m the one he chose. You setting me up in Lexington took that opportunity away.”

  “Shit, Kate, you should have said something, I just thought I was doing—”

  “The right thing, yeah, I know. Listen, you have to stop. If we get out of here and you want me gone, I’ll go. This thing between us can’t go anywhere if you don’t let it, and I’m tired of being the only one who wants it.”

  The words hurt to say, but she had been building up to this for a while now. It was true, they didn’t have anything without him, and since he had never been willing to budge before, she doubted that he would now. Plus, the other things, more important things he needed to focus on—his daughter, his sister, and most importantly, living through to the next day. All of that stuff had to go before any dream of a life with Tuck she had. It just wasn’t worth the pain and heartache to hear him say it again. Katie let her eyes drift shut to relieve the burn of tears that were sitting there. She wouldn’t do this again, she had put it all out there, now it was up to him.

  Tuck didn’t say anything, she hadn’t expected him to but had hoped he would give her something. But it was what it was. She needed to say one last thing though, then they needed to get down to the business at hand. She just hoped he finally understood this time.

  “You can make all the plans in the world, change things to suit what you want, but in the end, I’m going to do what I think is right. I was born into the RBMC, my Dad was old school, but he also believed in keeping his family informed. I know and have known since I was old enough to understand, you’re not a typical MC. I know about the missions and the government contracts, I even know about the crappy stuff you guys have to do to accomplish those missions.”

  “Katie, he shouldn’t have told you that stuff, he shouldn’t have involved you or your family in any of it,” Tuck retorted in anger.

  “See, but that’s just it, Tuck, it was his choice, just like every other brother. You can’t control everything. My dad made his choices, and as his daughter, I made mine too. My loyalty lies with the RBMC, just like it does with you. Here’s another thing, I’m not some sweet country girl, fresh off the farm like you seem to think. Dad prepared all of us for what could happen. What did happen.”

  “Yeah, Katie, he got killed. I know that’s harsh, but there isn’t any other way to say it. He died, doing exactly what I do all the time. Look at how that affected your family—you ran, and your mom hit the bottle.”

  “That isn’t fair Tuck, Mom had always had a drinking problem, always, it had nothing to do with the MC. Dad dying just gave her another excuse to drink her demons down. As for me running give me a break, I was pissed and grieving. I blamed Colt for putting Dad out there when we both knew he was losing it—he couldn’t remember things, it took him a week to find the keys to his bike, and they were sitting on top of the refrigerator, just like they always did. I told Colt, I went to Lash, but they ignored me because it was Club Business, and dad said he was okay, when anyone paying attention could have seen he wasn’t. That’s
why I left Franklin. Again, I won’t deny you played a small part in my choice of location, but it wasn’t the only reason.”

  “Damn, Kate, I wish all this changed things, but it doesn’t, I still want you safe, and that means away from me.”

  “You’ve got to do what you got to do, Tuck. Just so you know, I do too.” Katie had known he would still be the stubborn ass he always was, but at least this time, she had gotten to say everything on her mind. She decided it was best to drop the subject altogether.

  “Listen, I need to tell you what I found out and what I have planned. Before you say anything, I know you’re not going to like it, but it’s the only choice we have right now as far as I can see.”

  “Kate,” Tuck growled.

  “Just listen. That kitchen has a window with a fire escape. I managed to unlock it and open it just a little.”

  “Fuck, Katie, they could have seen you or heard what you were doing,”

  “They didn’t, and that’s all that matters. I was careful. I stacked full garbage bags in front of the window so they won’t notice it’s open. I figured if it had an alarm, it would have sounded, but nothing happened.

  “Shit, Kate, that wasn’t a good plan. If it had been alarmed and they came running, what the fuck were you going to do?”

  “Again, it doesn’t matter, it didn’t happen, and I would have thought of something. From what I can tell, the party outside goes from afternoon to dawn, only a few guys sticking around after. Do you think I’m right?”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right. I’ve been listening and marking their patterns. They party, get loud, then everything shakes down. Only noticed a couple of hours of quiet before it all starts up again.”

  Getting the confirmation she needed, Katie continued, “I think our best bet is for me to go with Misty if she comes again. She’s taking a crapload of drugs right now, and I believe she’s supplementing with the Morphine I had them get for you. It’s the only reason I can think you were able to wake up so fast, she has to be diluting it to make the vial still look full.” Tuck started to protest, but she started talking fast.

  “If I rig up your IV, I can put extra tubing between the port and you—that will hold the morphine isolated in the tube. I hid two syringes under the mattress, so after she leaves, I can extract it. If she comes back to take me to get some food—hopefully, at the same time as before—I can put it in the coffee.

  “Kate, I don’t know if that will work. These people don’t exactly go on a schedule. It’s not like we can make any of it happen either. Plus, they would taste it,” Tuck groused.

  “No listen, I’m not done. The kitchen is so gross, and the coffee pot is just as bad. Hell, I cleaned it, and the coffee still tasted horrible like instant but with a burned taste. Bender came in and took two cups right after I made it. He was the only one I saw outside in the office area. If he takes the coffee and drinks it, he will pass out, along with whoever the other cup was for. With the other people gone that only leaves Misty to deal with, and I’m going to try to get her to take a certain pill I saw in her little packet. If she does it, we won’t have to deal with her. Then it’s just a matter of getting the keys and getting the hell out of here before their big ass meeting.”

  “There’s a lot of ‘what if’ playing in that plan, Kate.”

  “Yeah, but can you figure out anything better? This can work. Once we get out, we can call the RBMC and have them pick us up.”

  “Fuck, I don’t know, it’s a lot of risk, and you still have to deal with the door and getting me out, you would be by yourself. I don’t like it, we need to come up with something else.”

  “The only thing safer would be the RBMC coming in to save the day, and there are still major risks with that, and we both know it. Hell, we don’t even know if they know where you are, Tuck. The last I heard, they were still looking for you.”

  “When we get out of this, you and I are going to have a serious discussion about why you know so much about Club business,” Tuck grouched.

  Katie giggled and felt stupid for doing it, but she said, “Yeah, I think I’ll have to take a pass on that conversation.”

  “We’ll see. Shut your eyes, babe, if we are going to do this you need your rest.”

  Katie knew he was going to try to figure out another way and ignore her plan, but she was just too tired to think any more, so she closed her eyes and let the sound of Tuck’s heart beating under her ear lull her to sleep.

  Chapter Nine

  It didn’t take long for Katie to fall asleep. Tuck, on the other hand, was wide awake, thinking about everything she had said and the crap that was going on. The doubt kept creeping back into his mind. Had he been wrong keeping away from her all these years? There was no doubt he wanted her, even before he should. But something always held him back. He rationalized it in his own head by saying she deserved more. He’d always pictured her a white picket fence type of woman, hearts and flowers with a few fairy tales mixed in, but the truth was he never really took the time to get to know her on a deeper level. Hell, he never even took the time out to hear her side of things.

  He’d made assumptions and gave directives, just like Tessa had accused him of doing to her. He did it to other people too, it was ingrained in him—he was a natural born leader, and the military had only enforced that part of him. Tuck was the one who put it in place for every aspect of his life. A part of him still believed he was right that this wasn’t the life for her, but another part wanted to hope he wasn’t. It was all boiling down to the fact he was scared, and Tuck didn’t do scared well.

  Just the thought of her Dad telling his family all about what the RBMC bugged the hell out him. It was each member’s choice, but generally, everyone he knew kept their mouths closed. That was the way Tuck liked it because he could or tried to control the outcome of some shitty situations. Maybe that was the real problem, he couldn’t control everything. Logically he knew it, but he damn well tried. Although she was there with him now, it was because of a spiteful bitch and not his position or affiliation with the RBMC.

  Then there was the fact he had effectively screwed her out of some top-notch training. Doc was part of the RBMC, and Tuck knew the details of his life but had never once looked into the fact he was the best in the country at what he did. Tuck just knew he was always there when they needed him and was damn good at his job. He also knew once he put his foot down, Doc wouldn’t have said anything more about it. It was just the way it went in the Club. He was the President, and although he was willing to hear everyone out, they all knew if he had his mind set on something very rarely did he change it.

  Fuck, if someone had treated him the way he had Katie and his sister, he would have kicked their asses—if he could, he would kick his own ass, right about now. The thoughts just brought around more questions. How was he going to be a good Dad to Maddie? His Dad had played the part for the outside world for everyone to see, but behind closed doors, it was a different story, at least for him and Caine. Tessa never saw that side of him. The cheating, the lies, and the rules—damn, the man had more rules than any kid could be expected to follow—then there was the drinking. Shit, that was bad. Before he married Tessa’s mom, Tuck was the one who got to clean him up and take care of him. When he did marry the bitch, Tuck thought it would get better, but she just enabled him and hid it better than Tuck ever could. It hadn’t been that way before Tuck’s mom had died, but he barely remembered that time, barely remembered his mom.

  He had helped raise Tal, but he was a teenager when Link came and asked Tuck to help him out so he could go into the service. Tal had been easy—as long as there was food in his stomach, a roof over his head, and clothes on his back he was good. He went to school every day and worked at the Club every night, but that only lasted for a few years. Tuck doubted a five-year-old would be that easy, and Maddie was a lifetime commitment. He still had issues regarding Maize and what she’d done. That shit was fucked up, but he’d already missed so much of Maddie’s
life. Would she even want him as a Dad? Tuck didn’t have a clue what the right thing to do was but talking with Katie made him realize he made snap decisions where the women in his life were concerned. Maybe it was possible to have it all. Maybe Katie would be willing to help. Tuck pulled her closer and tried to imagine what a life with the three of them would be like but kept drawing a blank. He remembered an old saying one of his Sargent Majors used to say. “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent what you make of it.” Tuck was starting to realize until now, personally, he hadn’t been making much of it.

  Fuck, it was almost too much on top of everything else, his mind was scattered. What he needed to do now was think about Katie’s plan or come up with something else, but he had to admit it had merit. It also got them out of there with little to no bloodshed which he couldn’t deny was a bonus. He didn’t think his body could take much more, but he would push it until he couldn’t do it anymore, just to see Katie safe and out of this godforsaken mess. From there, he would figure out what the hell the Vultures wanted so fucking bad.

  “You’re thinking pretty hard,” Katie said groggily.

  “Shit, babe, I’m sorry I woke you up. Why don’t you go back to sleep?” Tuck kissed her forehead, but he wanted to kiss her lips she looked so damn cute all blurry eyed and blinking. Now was not that time, he still had a lot of shit to figure out and was afraid now with his defenses down, he wouldn’t stop at a simple little kiss.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “Nah, it’s all good, just thinking things through.”

  Katie brought her wrist up and looked at her watch. “They really do get an early start on things around here, don’t they?”