“I’m so sorry I...,”
“No more sorries. This is it, this is who I am. We either go on from here and you proudly wear my name on your back, or we end it because this shit isn’t going to change. There will always be some crisis that pulls me away from you, but I promise I will always come back,” Tuck said, kissing her forehead, hugging her close to him. “It’s up to you, babe. It will kill me to see you walk out that door, but I’ll let you go. Do you get what I’m saying?”
Katie studied him for a minute and must have come up with some kind of decision.
“Do you love me?”
He wanted to kick his own ass for never telling her how he felt, so he gave her exactly what he was feeling and hoped it was enough.
“More than anything, I think I always have.”
Katie cupped his cheek, rubbing her fingers through the scruff on his face, love shining in her eyes.
“I love you too, always have, always will.”
Tuck couldn’t hold back anymore, just hearing the words made him feel whole. He kissed her long and deep, trying to show her without words every emotion he was feeling. When he pulled back, Katie smiled at him.
“Looks like you’re not the only one who is going to make mistakes in this thing between us.”
“That's okay, babe, as long as we talk about it, everything will work out in the end, and it isn’t a thing, it’s just us, whatever we make of it.”
“Damn!” Katie let out a breath and fell back onto the couch, shoulders slumped, arms crossed over her chest.
Tuck hadn’t expected the look of defeat on her face, but she was fucking cute, so he kept his word, instead of making assumptions, and asked, “What?”
Katie once again put her hands over her face and moaned, “I have to go back out there and apologize now, I was awful to Cathy and…”
Tuck laughed, took her hand, and pulled her up from the couch. “I got your back, babe, and if I know Cathy, she forgave you two seconds after we left the room.”
“I hope you’re right because this is going to suck,” Katie grouched.
“Toughen up, buttercup, you’re the President of the RBMC Defiance chapter’s old lady now, you need to set a good example and make them all think I’m a great guy.”
“Jerk, they all already think you’re a great guy. I could distract them and start talking about your man jewelry that always gets Carri going, or you could teach me those fancy hand signals you all do, and I could just do those to Cath, she would understand.”
“Yeah, babe, I don’t think you’re going to get off that easy this time, and just so you know, my ‘man jewelry’ is off limits to the other old ladies.”
“Well, shit, if that’s the case and I keep my mouth shut, does that mean you’ll get more?” Katie did a little shiver. He knew his piercing had hit her in just the right spot, but no way in hell was he going to get more—even for her—that fucker hurt like a bitch going in, but he didn’t say that.
“We’ll see, later though. We’re going to talk about this fucking thing though. I think I need to give my woman a lesson of the differences between, sex, fucking, and making love. I plan on making the distinctions very clear,” Tuck said as he squeezed her ass and pulled her closer to his already hardening dick.
“Mmm, I look forward to that, babe, anytime you’re ready, I’ll be willing and waiting.”
“Damn, you’re going to be the death of me, Katherine Rose Dodge. Now, quit stalling and let’s get this over with before I bend you over my desk and give you that first lesson.” Tuck slapped her ass and pushed her toward the door.
“You know, I’ve always been told I’m a fast learner. A few more minutes couldn’t hurt that much,” Katie said, winking at him.
“Nothing between us will ever take a few minutes. Now, move your ass before I change my mind and take you up on that offer.”
Tuck was truly happy as he and Katie walked down the hallway toward the common room. There was a lot of shit that still needed to be sorted between them and the club, but it would get done.
Then he saw her—it was like the entire room of people just separated off, leaving his little girl in the middle of the room, all by herself. Tuck walked passed Katie and crouched down in front of his daughter. Shit, seeing her picture had gutted him, but seeing her for the first time in person ripped him apart, and he knew, right at that moment, he could never let her go.
He didn’t know what to say, he should have planned something, but no words would come to him. But his little girl cocked her head to the side and brought her little hand up to his face.
“You hurt?”
“Just a little, honey, it will get better soon, I promise.” She kept on looking at him still holding his face her little forehead scrunched in concentration.
“You look like Aunt Tess and Uncle Caine.”
“That’s because they’re my brother and sister,” Tuck smiled. “I think you look a lot like us too.” Tuck wasn’t going to come right out and say he was her dad—he needed to take Brass’s advice and talk with this Jada person—but he would have sat on that floor forever, just talking with Maddie. She took the decision out of all of their hands.
“Are you, my Dad?”
“Yeah, baby girl, I am.”
Tuck could feel the burn of tears in his eyes, and for the first time in his life, he almost let them fall, but her next words brought him raw fury.
“Are you mean like my mommy and her friends?”
Tuck heard a few gasps in the room, but his focus remained on Maddie, it didn’t matter what he was feeling, she was what was important now.
“No, baby girl, I’m not like them,” Tuck stated.
“But you yelled at Doc Katie, that wasn’t very nice,” she chastised, her little lip pouting out, making him want to reach out and hug her, but she wasn’t ready for that yet. He needed to do this on her terms like Brass said. The problem was he didn’t know what to say because he had done it. True to Katie’s nature, she got down beside them.
“Maddie, you know how when you do something wrong and your Aunt Jay sends you to your room?” Katie questioned. Tuck wasn’t sure where she was going with this but was willing to let her try whatever she thought was best.
“No, Aunt Jay doesn’t do that, but Uncle Brass does. He said when I say or do something that hurts someone else, I need to be by myself so I can think about it.”
There were a few snickers in the room, but again, Tuck just watched Katie and Maddie, his girls.
“Does he get kind of loud and yell?” Maddie nodded her head. “Well, what you heard, your dad yelling at me was because I did something very wrong, and I hurt him and my friend’s feeling by saying some stuff before I thought about it.”
“That’s not nice, Doc Katie.”
“I know, that’s why he wanted to talk to me. And I got yelled at. He wasn’t being mean even though it kind of looked like it.”
Maddie looked between the two of them, then said, “Okay,” turning back to Tuck and putting her hand on Tucks face again, she finished her sentence, “but I’m staying with Aunt Jay and Uncle Brass. You can come and see me though.” When she walked away and went to a small woman who slightly resembled Maize, he knew she was the Jada he’d heard about. She was crying but scooped Maddie up with a smile on her face. He could see the love that woman had for his daughter as clear as day.
As he looked around the room, he noticed several other people, including some of his brothers, with tears in their eyes and didn’t really know what to do. Katie stood up and helped him get his ass off the ground.
“Don’t you have a meeting you have to get to?” she quietly asked.
“Yeah,” he said but didn’t want to leave. He wanted to gather Katie and Maddie up and run for the hills. Katie smiled and said,
“I got this,” Katie smiled. “You take care of that,” motioning her head toward the doors of their meeting rooms. With one last look at the both of them, he said, “Okay.
“Shows
over, time for Church boys!”
Brass slapped him on the back, making Tuck groan. He still wasn’t anywhere close to a hundred percent and doubted he would be soon, but it would happen. “You did good, Prez, couldn’t have done it better myself.”
Chapter Sixteen
After the boys started filing out of the room, Katie made a beeline for the bar. There was a prospect standing behind it she had never seen before. When he looked at her, she ordered, “Whiskey straight.” When he went to pour the amber liquid into a shot glass, she took the bottle away from him and said, “I got it.” It took him a couple of minutes to realize she wasn’t going to give it back, but he finally walked away.
Damn, that had been intense, the last few days had been, and Katie didn’t think it was going to get any better anytime soon. So, she was going to have a couple of drinks, pull herself together, go to bed, and start all over again tomorrow or later tonight. Things seemed to be happening so quickly, and she couldn’t keep up.
Being with Tuck, having him claim her was supposed to be a dream come true and, in some ways, it was—the sex, intimacy, and connection she felt with him were beyond anything she had ever dreamed about, but it was fragile, at best. It only took two seconds, an abrupt action, and one word to shatter those feelings to pieces. It was her, she admitted it to herself, she had jumped to conclusions faster than she should have, and she needed to figure that shit out and fast. Knowing that he loved her and wanted a future helped, but he was right, a part of her still didn’t trust him completely. It was like that saying, was waiting for that other shoe to drop, for him to change his mind once again and turn her away. But one thing was for certain, she was in it for as long as it lasted, and there would never be any regrets.
The last few days had put her brain on an emotional overload—some parts had been great and others horrible. The two days she spent with the Vultures and Tuck—mostly horrible with a few sprinkles of good stuff. Coming back here, waking up, and instantly blaming Tuck for sedating her—not one of her best moments. Spending that hour or so with him in that bedroom—amazing, afterward pretty shitty. Then all that stuff with Cathy—making a fool of herself and getting ordered into Tuck’s office for him to straighten her ass—back to Sucksville.
She needed to get it together if she was going to be his Old Lady. He may have been teasing when he said that his woman needed to set an example, but it was the truth. She needed to grow some balls and quit flying off the handle at every little thing because from now on when these people looked at her, they weren’t just seeing Katie, they were going to see Tuck’s Old Lady, and she needed them to see a strong and united front. Growing up in the MC world, she knew any weakness would be exploited, and she was determined never to be that for Tuck.
She filled her glass again and took another shot down quick. She was a lightweight when it came to booze and would need to stop soon, but just a couple would get her mind straight and moving forward again. Seeing Tuck on the floor, talking to Maddie had pulled even more emotions out of her. Seeing him with his little girl a few seconds ago was wonderful, scary, and yet still heartbreaking. Katie could see the love in his eyes for that little girl but could also feel the disappointment, regret, and hopefulness that came from him in those few moments.
She hoped Jada gave him a chance to prove himself. She knew a little of her story, not all of it, only a few things here and there, but she knew Jada was worried Tuck would turn out like the rest of them. Katie had tried to assure her he wouldn’t, but actions spoke louder than words, and Tuck would need to put the time and effort in to win the woman over. Katie was determined to help him in any way she could.
“Damn, girlfriend it’s has been all of one day, and that man is already driving you to drink like a fish,” Cathy said, sitting down next to her.
“I don’t think it is him, Cathy. This,” Katie said, filling another glass and bring it to her lips, “is all me with just a little of him mixed in.” Downing the burning liquid, once she caught her breath, she said, “Shit, Cathy, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that shit, it wasn’t fair. I was just so mad and...”
“Oh, honey, you don’t have to explain any of that to me. These boys have a way of twisting you up and turning you inside out, and you’re with the king,” she laughed.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Katie laughed, filling her glass, and reaching over the bar to get one for Cathy, filling it as well. “But I’ve always considered myself more of a princess than a queen.”
“Well, chicky, I hate to disappoint you, but that crown or patch will be firmly in place soon, and there won’t be any turning back.”
Katie let her head fall forward. “What am I going to do? I dreamed about this, wished it, wanted it more than anything, and I’m already fucking it up.”
Cathy patted her on the back. “Nah, you’re not, you’re just finding your own way, we all have to do it. As for what you do, that’s easy. You stand at that man’s side, support his decisions, regardless of what you think, and at night when you’re home and alone, you let him know what you really think. Tuck is a good man and a great leader, he’ll listen, but you know as well as I do, the two of you will be watched closer than any of the rest of us. Your job is to make him look good, keep him happy and strong, and always have his back even if you don’t agree with what he’s doing, understand?”
Katie did understand, she even had the thoughts herself. She knew her place and what was expected of her, she was just worried about pulling it off.
“Why are you being so nice to me, Cath? I was such a bitch to you saying all that crap. You have to know I didn’t mean it, any of it, I would never turn my back on you, you’re one of my closest friends. It was a bitch move, and I’m so very sorry.”
Cathy pushed her empty glass closer to the bottle, and Katie took the hint, filling both of them up again. Cathy brought her shot glass up and clinked it with Katie’s.
“Water under the bridge. I’ve said some choice things I couldn’t take back myself in the heat of the moment, a couple of them to you. Us girls need to stick together; a few misspoken words aren’t going to change years of loyalty and friendship. Plus, if we don’t, those boys will run right over us.”
“True,” Katie laughed, “that is if they don’t wrap us up in bubble wrap and place us on a shelf for safe keeping.”
“There’s that too,” Cathy chuckled loudly. She and Cathy had many conversations over the years about the guys’ need to keep them safe and going about it the wrong way.
Tessa, Carri, and Reagan all came up to the bar, surrounding them. Carri, in typical fashion, started asking questions, many Katie had no intention of answering about sex with Tuck. Reagan was quiet, just listening, but Tessa stayed off to the side like she wasn’t sure what to say or if she would be welcome. Katie wasn’t having any of that.
“Tess, grab a glass and join us.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course, I’m sure!” Katie exclaimed, grabbing a shot glass herself and filling it up for Tess. “I think I might need your advice more than the rest of these crazy chicks, you’re Tuck’s sister.” Katie realized her mistake instantly when Tessa’s face fell.
“I don’t really know my brother all that well, so I don’t think I can help you out, anyway.” Tessa started to walk away, and Katie got up from the barstool a little too quickly, the previous shots making her stumble, but she got to her before she could leave.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, it seems to be happening a lot today. Please, just sit with us. I promise not to stick my foot in my mouth again. Maybe we can help each other figure out the enigma that is known as Tucker Masterson.” Katie knew she had her when a small, shy smile crossed the other woman’s face. Not wasting any time and because the room was starting to spin, Katie linked arms with her and brought Tessa back to the bar.
“So, when are you going to get the tat?” Carri asked, breaking the tension. “Jinx is pretty good it hardly hurt at all.”
&
nbsp; “Speak for yourself!” Tessa laughed loudly. Rea nodded and rubbed her butt.
All of this confused Katie, so she asked Cathy, “What are they talking about?”
Cathy was laughing her ass off, practically falling off the bar stool. Katie still didn’t get it, but she was buzzed enough to join in. It took Cathy a while to get it together enough to answer the question.
“They all got branded.”
Katie still wasn’t getting it, “Huh?”
“They all got their property patches tattooed on their asses,” Cathy said, wiping the tears from her eyes. Katie looked around at the other woman and yep, by the looks on their faces, they had done that.
“Why?”
Carri was one smart lady and Katie could see the wheels turning in her head as she glared at Cathy, saying with more than a little uncertainty, “Because it’s part of being an old lady.”
“No, it’s not,” Katie laughed and looked at Cathy, “right?”
“You said you had one, that you already did it,” Reagan accused, pointing at Cathy. Cathy started laughing again.
“No, what I said was I already had Crank’s name on my body.” Cathy stood up and pulled her low rider jeans down, showing an intricate heart tattoo with Cathy and Crank’s names intertwined within it, “and I do.”
“You’re getting that tattoo,” Carri said, looking at Cathy with complete seriousness and a little bit of menace mixed in.
Cathy shook her head and said, “No, I’m not.”
Tessa blushed and downed her shot and said, “I don’t know Cathy, you might want to reconsider because every time Creed sees it, well, let’s just say, damn, my world gets rocked sideways and…” she said for effect, “every other way too.”
Carri and Reagan were both smiling big. Apparently, Katie needed to think about getting a tattoo. Cathy looked like she was considering it too. Looking around at these strong, vibrant, funny women, Katie realized she never wanted to leave again. It had been too long since she felt friendship and comradery like this, and she wanted it back. The few visits she had taken over the years were always too short, and the other times they were together, there were always other matters that needed to be taken care of. She suddenly realized someone was missing.
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