“Come sit with me,” he said and motioned to the bench nearby. He sat down and I joined him.
I settled back and looked at him expectantly. “Well?” If he didn’t let me go up there soon, I was going to lose my nerve.
“First of all, Cane isn’t seeing anyone right now except me and our manager. He’s pissed about the tour starting up again tomorrow and in no mood to talk.” He put an arm along the back of the bench and raised his eyebrows at me. “If you thought he was pissed that day he threw you out of his room, you don’t even want to see how he would react today.”
I looked down at my hands in my lap and my shoulders slumped. I guess this was what I had expected, but a small part of me hoped he would be dying to see me too.
“Second,” Diesel continued. “I hate to say this, Lindsey, but he blames you for not being able to walk.”
“What?” I gasped and my hands started to tremble. “How is that my fault?”
Diesel shook his head. “You and I both know it’s not. In fact, any rational person knows it’s not, but he’s not rational right now. I kind of want him to use that anger to be honest. The doctors say there’s no medical reason he can’t walk again. He’s made it his personal mission to get back on his feet and come back as an even bigger and better version of Cane Stephens. And I don’t mean a nice guy, either. He wants to be able to fuck anything and everything in a dress. He’s angry about letting his feelings for you get to him.”
By now the tears were flowing down my cheeks as I listened to Diesel. I was angry and hurt that Cane blamed me for his paralysis, but I was also happy to hear he did have feelings for me. I had told myself for so long I didn’t care about him except for the sex, but I found myself caring about him beyond that. Even though he was such an ass, he had a soft spot in his heart; when he rescued me from Shaun, he had shown me that.
“He has feelings for me?” I managed to squeak through my tears.
“Yes, he does,” Diesel said, reaching into his leather coat to get me a handkerchief. What a gentleman. How many guys still carried those around, especially hard-ass rock stars?
I blew my nose and he shook his head. “You can keep it,” he laughed. Then he leaned into me, a serious look on his face. “Let him be right now. Later, when he’s walking again, if you want to confess your undying love to him, that’s fine. Not now. I need him pissed and determined.
“Okay,” I nodded. If I tried to push things with Cane right now, I would probably make it worse, anyway. I stood up and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. “Thanks for the talk, Diesel.”
He stood up and gave me a hug. “Any time. Now you take care and be careful. There’s a lot of jerks on that tour.” He flagged me down a cab and gave me another quick hug before I got in.
I couldn’t help but smile a little on the ride back to the hotel. Oh, I was madder than hell that Cane blamed me for his paralysis, but I was also a little bit thrilled that I had managed to break through that armor he wore. It made me feel better to know I wasn’t another notch on his belt too.
I was definitely looking forward to a shower and bed when I got back to the hotel. I wasn’t sure if we would stop at any more hotels for the rest of the tour, so I was going to enjoy my roomy bathroom one last night. As I was fishing in my purse for my key, I bumped right into someone.
“Sorry,” I mumbled without looking up.
“Lindsey, I thought you were going to bed.”
I looked up to find Drew in front of me. His shirt was untucked, and it looked like he was swaying as he stood there. He was even more fucked up than he had been when I left him.
“I had to run out and get some stuff before we left,” I muttered, finding my key. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Drew.” I hurried past him to the elevator.
“You really are a slut, aren’t you?” He said the words loud enough for a few people in the lobby to hear what he said. I stopped for a minute but didn’t turn around. I closed my eyes and sighed. He was drunk; he didn't realize what he was saying. I kept walking and got on the elevator. I pressed the button to close the doors and prayed he wouldn’t follow me.
I had to stop sleeping with guys I met at work. When was I ever going to learn? Sometimes I thought my life would be easier if I had done what my parents had wanted and become a doctor like my brother. His life probably wasn’t as complicated.
I closed my eyes, and memories of the summer’s tour flashed through my mind. There was great music, and fans screamed to hear their favorite bands play. There was nothing like a live show to get your adrenaline going.
And there was Cane. My body started to tingle when I thought about the way his hands felt on my body and how his filthy mouth whispered things while we fucked. Sure, things were fucked up now, but no matter what happened between us, I would forever remember those passionate nights together.
The elevator arrived at my floor, and I headed to my room with a smile on my face. That was why I hadn’t picked a boring job, despite my parents’ protests. If I had, I wouldn’t have experienced half the things I did or have the memories that would last a lifetime.
It definitely had all been worth it.
Chapter Eight
Cane
I had waited impatiently for a few weeks for Destiny to come back to Vegas with some sort of proof we were married. As each day passed, I became even surer she was full of shit. It was a relief, but it also pissed me the fuck right off that the bitch would lie to me like that. My whole life had spiraled out of control when she showed up at my hotel room and told me she was my wife.
I eventually called our manager and had him hire a private investigator. I didn’t have much info for him, other than a phone number she had given me before she left and the fact that she was from Florida. I didn’t have high hopes he would find anything, but I had to do something; I couldn’t take the chance she would show up again and make the same claim. If she did, this time I wanted to be ready for her.
I also sent him on a mission to check with all the wedding chapels in Vegas. I found it hard to believe no one had witnessed our wedding—if there even had been one—and didn’t run to the press. I couldn’t buy cigarettes at the corner gas station without it becoming national news.
My focus on trying to find Destiny and getting this marriage thing straightened out gave me something else to think about beside the fact that our band was missing the tour. I wanted the others to wait for me to be up and walking again, but after a couple of weeks, they insisted they had to start up again.
Drew called a meeting with the band in my hospital room to talk about waiting or continuing. He had found a band that could fill in for us, and he told us sponsors and tour organizers were losing too much money. They were pushing him to get things back on the road.
I could barely look at the fucker while he talked. I kept envisioning him on top of Lindsey, fucking her. Did she think about me while his hands were on her body? I kept my fists clenched during the meeting and didn’t really hear much. After Drew was done running off at the mouth, he kept checking his phone. Maybe he was waiting for a booty call from Lindsey. The thought made me want to puke.
Drew was lucky I couldn’t get out of bed, because I seriously wanted to kick his ass. A part of me was even glad we weren’t going back on tour, because I couldn’t stand being near him.
As pissed as I was at Lindsey for sleeping with Drew, I was feeling a little bit guilty about the way I had reacted towards her when I woke up. I had been such an asshole, even for me. I was nervous and scared by the fact I had no fucking feeling in my legs, and I lashed out at her.
I thought about calling her and asking her to come see me before they took off, but what the fuck was I going to say to her? She was probably too busy with Drew’s cock in her mouth to come talk to me, anyway. A small part of me had a tiny sliver of hope that she would stop to see me, but I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to talk to me after treating her like shit.
“You look like you’re deep in thought,�
�� Diesel had said as he entered my room one afternoon and caught me playing with my phone. The guy had barely left my side since my accident. He sat with me through every meeting with the doctor, asking good questions I would have never thought of. He kept telling me I was going to walk again. If he hadn’t been here, I would have probably given up.
I set my phone down on the tray next to me. “Not really,” I muttered, thankful he had come in before I made a fool out of myself by doing something stupid.
He grinned and glanced at my phone. “You were thinking of calling her, weren't you?”
“Who?” I replied. It pissed me off sometimes how well he knew me.
“Lindsey.” He pulled up a chair next to me and sat down.
“Why would I call her? We fucked a few times, but it was no big deal. She’s probably with Drew now, anyway." I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince more—him or me.
“Quit fucking lying to me,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I know you.”
“I feel bad about the way I kicked her out of here,” I said softly, not looking at him.
“Cane Stephens was going to apologize?” He arched an eyebrow at me.
“Shut the fuck up,” I said, and we watched TV for a bit, neither of us saying anything for a while.
“She came here,” he finally said, not looking at me.
I reached for the remote and turned off the TV. “What did you say?”
He sighed and stood up, scrubbing his face with his hand. “Lindsey came here right before the tour left.” He stopped at the foot of my bed.
“I didn’t see her,” I said.
“I know.” He leaned forward and put his hands on the rails at the foot of my bed. “I ran into her outside and told her not to come up.”
“Why?” I asked, totally confused about why my best friend would do that to me.
He pushed off the bed and came back to the chair he had been sitting on. “You were so angry those first days. I thought I could use that anger to motivate you to walk again.”
“What the fuck, man?” I muttered and leaned my head back on the bed, turning away from him. I was angry, but he had good intentions. I rolled my head over to look at him. “Do you know what she wanted?”
“I’m not sure, exactly,” he shrugged. “I think she just wanted to talk.”
“What did you tell her?” I looked over at my phone and debated about whether or not I should call her. Knowing she had come to see me changed everything.
“I said you were upset about not being able to walk and the tour starting again. I warned her she would get a reaction even worse than the one she got the day you kicked her out.”
I winced at his words. The hurt look on her face that day haunted my dreams.
He took a deep breath. “I may have even told her you had feelings for her.”
“What? I don’t have feelings for her!” I retorted and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Like hell you don’t,” he replied with a laugh. “I’ve never seen you so obsessed with a woman. You don’t even know the names of half the women you’ve been with, but you slept with Lindsey a few times and you’re still talking about her.”
I opened my mouth to reply, but I didn’t really have anything to say. He was right. As much as I hated to admit it, I did have feelings for her. I had to get my ass out of this hospital and back on that tour before it was too late.
“Have you talked to anyone on tour?” I asked nonchalantly, changing the subject.
“A few guys, why?” He asked, peering at me suspiciously.
“I was wondering about Lindsey and Drew,” I admitted.
“She slept with Drew after you, huh?” He shook his head.
“She was upset about Destiny showing up, and I think he took advantage of her. Or at least that’s what I would like to believe.” I was doing a pretty good job convincing myself of that.
“So you want to know if they’re still hooking up?” He asked, getting out his phone.
“Yeah, I would.” God, I had become such a puss.
“Let me make some calls,” he nodded “And don’t worry, I won’t say you want to know.” He winked at me. “I’m going to go have a smoke and I’ll be right back.”
“Thanks, man,” I replied. My heart was racing a little bit in anticipation of what Diesel might find out about Lindsey. If she wasn’t seeing Drew, maybe I could get better and go to her. I didn’t know what I was going to say or what we were going to do. I’d never had a relationship with a woman before, but I could see having one with her.
While I was waiting for Diesel to get back from his information hunt, my phone rang. I looked at the screen and immediately answered when I saw it was the PI I had hired.
“Hello,” I said, my mouth going dry. If he told me I was married to Destiny, I was going to throw this phone across the room.
“Mr. Stephens?” The guy on the other end of the phone replied.
“Yes, this is he.” I wished he would cut the crap and tell me what he had found out.
“This is John Douglas calling, the private investigator you hired to find out if you and Destiny were married.”
“And?” Why the hell was he drawing this out? I wanted to yell at him to cut the bullshit, but I managed to contain myself.
“Well, there’s no evidence that the two of you are married. I checked all of her legal records, and there’s every indication she’s single. I checked for aliases, too, and found nothing. I think you’re in the clear, at least where marriage is concerned.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. I had been almost positive we weren’t married because, no matter how messed up on drugs I was, that was something I would probably remember.
“What a relief! I knew she was lying.” I pounded my fist on my leg and winced a little bit. Wait. I pounded my leg again, this time harder. I could feel my legs again. I tried to wiggle my toes and saw them move a little bit at the end of the bed. Holy fuck!
“Listen, I have to go. Thanks again for your hard work. Just send a bill to the address I gave you when you were hired, and someone will pay it ASAP.” He started to say something, but I was too busy reaching for the buzzer to call a nurse, and I didn’t hear what he said before I hung up.
While I waited for a nurse to come in, I kept poking at my legs with my fingers, even reaching under the covers to pinch myself. I was probably going to have bruises from doing it so hard, but I didn’t care. It would be worth it, because I was so happy to feel anything again.
“How can I help you, Mr. Stephens?” The nurse asked when she strolled in.
“I can fucking feel my legs again!” I shouted, causing her to jump.
“What?” She walked over closer to the bed.
I flung the covers back. “Touch them. Punch them, slap them, whatever. I can feel it.” I slapped my bare leg with my open hand and laughed hysterically when I felt the sharp sting.
“That’s great!” She smiled at me. “I’ll go call the doctor. Don’t move.” She left, and I couldn’t stop touching my legs. I was so overcome with emotion that I almost had tears in my eyes.
Diesel came back in with a smile on his face. “Dude, she’s not fucking Drew.” He stopped in his tracks when he saw me. I probably looked liked a crazy man, with my smile and incessant slapping. “What the hell are you doing?”
I stopped and grinned at him. “I can feel my legs.”
He rushed over to the bed. “What? When?” He looked my legs up and down. “Can you stand up?”
I shook my head. “The nurse told me to stay in bed until she got the doctor here.”
“Holy shit,” he muttered, a big grin spreading across his face. “I knew it. I knew it would all be okay.”
“I know. I was talking to the PI. Turns out Destiny was lying about the marriage. Anyway, I was pissed and slammed my fist down on my thigh. It took me a second, but I realized I had felt it. I buzzed the nurse in, and she’s going to get the doctor.”
“That’s fucking awesome, man,” he said and reached a hand out for me to clasp.
I grabbed it tightly and pulled him into me for half of a hug. All I could think about was getting back on my feet and back on tour. The God of Rock was coming back with a vengeance, and I couldn’t wait.
Chapter Nine
Lindsey
Six Weeks Later
“So you won’t be home for another four weeks?” My best friend Rebecca whined into the phone.
“No, they’re extending the tour,” I replied, rolling my eyes. She always was such a drama queen.
“Because Mr. Man-Whore is coming back?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her reference to Cane. I was both nervous and excited about Hookers and Hand Grenades coming back on the tour. I hadn’t spoken to him since he had kicked me out of his hospital room. I almost called him a few times, but then thought better of it. I wanted him to get better and didn’t want to interfere with that. Diesel was kind enough to send me text messages with some updates every couple of weeks. I could still remember the day he had sent me the one saying Cane had feeling back in his legs. I couldn’t stop smiling all day.
Last week we got word the tour was being extended because Hookers and Hand Grenades was coming back. I heard it around the rumor mill that Cane was working his ass off at physical therapy so he could get back on the road. We were going to go back and hit the places that we missed. I’d even heard some rumblings about taking the tour to Europe for a few shows, but that wasn’t confirmed yet.
I would have asked Drew, but he wasn’t talking to me. Not that I was all that interested in talking to him, either. Ever since I blew him off that night, he’d been giving me the cold shoulder. I was relieved, but at times it made my job a little bit difficult because I had to find everything out second-hand.
“Yes, his band is coming back on the tour, so they added shows. We’re hitting some of the biggest cities in the country. At least I think that’s the plan.” I closed my laptop and got up from the table in the tour bus. It was late, but I needed some air. I slipped on my sandals and walked out the door.
All I Need (Vol.2) Page 5