"They're girly," I said. "Guys aren't supposed to have wings. Especially ones like mine."
"What's wrong with them? They're silver and blue. Like your eyes. They remind me of blown glass." She reached out, hesitant. "Can I touch them?"
I met her eyes and nodded.
She reached out, her hand shaking slightly.
I stiffened at the contact, but relaxed as she slid her fingers down the edge of one wing. I shuddered, feeling heat course through me. They were much more sensitive than any other part of my body.
Her fingers barely touched it, but I could still feel her shaking.
"They're tougher than they look," I said.
"Really?" She looked skeptical.
"Yes. Believe me, I've tried to get rid of them. It's impossible."
Her mouth drew into a thin line and her eyes narrowed. "You're impossible." She still touched them lightly. Like she would handle a butterfly or flower.
"Speak for yourself."
"They're amazing. I don't see why you don't like them." She traced a few of the swirling veins, making me shiver.
"You have no idea how good that feels. I've had them tied up for weeks."
"Please don't ever tie them up again." I could tell she was still afraid of poking a hole through it. She barely let her finger rest on it for more than a few seconds. "Your back looks awful."
I jumped as she touched the angry welts on my back. A shock of pain jolted through my wings. "Ouch!"
"I'm sorry," she said, scooting away.
"Don't be sorry. It's my own stupid fault." I flexed my wings, feeling the blood flow through them again. They were still pretty stiff.
"Can I get something to put on them?"
"No."
"Why did you tie them up in the first place?"
I couldn't believe I was about to admit this. "I was embarrassed. Guys don't have wings where I come from. I mean, there are tooth fairies and stuff, which is a little more manly, since you're handling gross teeth and everything, but fairy godmothers? I'm the first male one. Ever."
"Really? As in ... ever, ever?"
I laughed. "Yes. Ever, ever."
"Huh."
"What does that mean?"
"It just explains why you're so weird."
My mouth dropped open, and she reached a finger out and closed it for me.
"I'm joking."
"You'd better be."
"And just for the record? I think they're beautiful. It's okay for you to have wings."
I frowned.
"You are a fairy,” she reminded me. “What kind of fairy would you be if you didn't have wings?"
"You've got a point. I guess."
"Besides, you get to hang out with me!" She smiled, her eyes sparkling.
"For now," I said, feeling my eyelids droop.
She started tracing my wings again, and I struggled to keep my eyes open. What was going on? I hadn't even been tired a second before.
"You look tired," she said, watching me.
I yawned.
"Why don't you take a nap, since you're already half asleep anyway? I have to clean my room," she said.
"Like that would ever happen," I muttered. I lay my head on her pillow, smiling at how good it smelled. Vanilla and strawberries.
I fell asleep faster than I ever thought possible, and as soon as I did, they started coming.
Strange images. Sounds. Things I would never ever be able to forget.
Bright lights shining in my eyes.
My dad screaming right outside my room.
People running, footsteps echoing down the hallway.
A swirl of dark sand, blurring my vision. Waves of darkness covering everything in sight.
I cried out for my dad, but he never came.
Only darkness.
Then there was a woman. A woman with the face of an angel. Locks of light hair swirled around her as she held me in her arms, racing through the sea of darkness. She glowed slightly, lighting our way. I memorized every detail of her face. Her dainty nose, her thin lips squeezed tight, not daring to make a sound. Her eyes, wide and afraid. Silver eyes like mine.
"It's going to be okay, Ash," she whispered. "I won't let him take you." She pressed her warm cheek against mine, and I saw a bright light flash before my eyes.
I heard her scream.
And then I was alone.
Dax was suddenly there, dressed in black, pointing and laughing at me. "Some day you'll figure out what you are," he said.
Sand flew around me and the floor opened, swallowing me into a black void where I feared I would never find my way out.
I screamed, falling further into darkness. Arms flailing, my wings incapable of working. Dax's voice echoing all around me.
"Ash!"
Someone else called my name as well. I struggled to get back to the voice. The worried and panicked voice. It was different. Not the woman from the dream, but a girl.
“Ash!” Louder this time. Kendall. I saw a light, her beautiful face above me.
I was jolted from my dream. My body shook, and I was covered in sweat.
Kendall leaned over me, her eyes wide and afraid. "Ash?"
"What happened?" I asked, getting shakily to my feet. I swallowed, trying to calm myself down.
"You um, fell asleep.” She took a trembling breath. “You had some kind of nightmare. I tried to wake you, but you just kept tossing and turning. You screamed." Her voice squeaked on the last word, and she put her hands on either side of her face. "I didn't know what else to do."
"I have to go."
"Wait! Are you okay?"
Before she could say another word, I grabbed my shirt still lying on the bed, and left.
***
"Where is he?" I demanded, holding Gerald by his horns. His feet dangled several inches off the grass, and terror filled his dark eyes.
"I ... I don't know. I swear!"
"I'm going to ask one more time." I lifted him even higher.
"I don't know! He was here a while ago, but I don't know where he went!"
"Gerald, if you don't tell me where Dax is, I'll–"
"You'll what?" Dax's voice sliced through the courtyard.
I stiffened and dropped Gerald to the ground. He scampered past me. I turned slowly around and whipped my wand out, ready to do some serious damage.
"You," I growled.
"Relax, Ash. It wasn't that bad." Dax stood a few feet away, eyes glittering. Gerald huddled near his feet.
"Do you have any idea what you've started? I haven't had that nightmare in years. It's one thing sending me dreams, but another altogether using my own memories to torture me!"
"Did Kendall comfort you?"
My eyes narrowed. "Don't ever say her name again." My voice sounded scary. Even to me.
Dax looked surprised, but recovered quicker than expected. "Or what?"
"I'd rather not say, since I'd scare the satyr even more." I glanced at Gerald, who was shaking in his hooves.
"That's all you are, Ash. A lot of talk, but no action," Dax said. He pulled a little brown bag out of his robe and dumped black sand into his hand. He swirled it around with his finger, making a tiny funnel cloud.
I knew that sand. I'd studied it before. It was dark magic, banned from our world. I wondered where he had gotten it.
"Do you have any idea what that is? You're abusing magic you have no idea how to control. You're going to destroy everything. Me. You. This entire world."
"Oh, stop with the speech already. You break as many rules as I do."
"Fine. But I'm warning you. If you mess with my mind again, I'll make sure you're out of here forever. You can go live with your own kind."
"Still think I'm half djinn?" he said, smiling.
"Golden eyes, dark magic." I gestured toward him. "You fit the picture." I smirked at him. "Either that or you're some kind of goblin."
"Don't insult me," he said. His eyes narrowed and I knew I had struck a nerve.
Goblins
were the lowest of our world. Scavengers without a shred of magic in them. Djinns weren’t much better, since they were bound to a master. But at least they had power.
"Stay out of my head," I warned.
He took a step closer. "Make me."
"Ash." A new voice echoed through the clearing, and I saw Sam striding toward us, his eyes locked on Dax.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Timekeeper himself."
"Shut up, Dax," Sam said.
"Why don't you two run along and play. Suck up to the professors or whatever you do to have fun," Dax said.
"Come on," I said to Sam. "He's not worth it." I started walking away, with Sam right behind me, when Dax spoke again.
"You better tell Kendall to watch out. She's a pretty one. I'd love to get in her head. If I haven't already."
I tensed. The wind started blowing, whipping through the bushes and trees. I whirled around and felt power surge through my fingertips. A blue flash streaked across the clearing, hitting Dax square in the chest. I heard him cry out as a puff of blue smoke covered him.
Nobody moved.
Sam swore.
The wind still blew and lightning lit the sky. I glanced up, wondering where the storm had come from. It hardly ever stormed in our world.
I peered into the blue smoke that still billowed around the clearing, wondering if my magic had hit its mark. I smiled when I saw a rat’s tail slipping through the hedge where Dax had been standing a moment earlier.
"That was freaking awesome," Sam said. "You didn't even use your wand!"
I shook my head. "I'm not sure how I did that. I am so dead."
"Yeah, probably. Doesn't mean it wasn't cool, though."
"True."
"What was with the wind?"
"Not sure. Maybe Dax did it?"
Sam shook his head. "I don't think so. It started when he pissed you off."
"Huh." I'd have to think on that one. “We should get out of here.”
We hurried back towards the dorm.
"You going to see Kendall again?"
"I'm not sure what to do. I might stay away for a week or so. Just watch her from a distance."
"Why?"
I frowned. I wasn't about to tell him about the nightmare in her room. Or the fact that I was crazy about her. "It's nothing," I muttered.
He left me to my thoughts.
As we walked in silence, I came up with a plan. I'd keep observing her, taking notes on her interactions with people, but I wouldn't talk to her. I wouldn't let her see me for a while. It would be good for both of us, since I could sense she felt something for me as well whenever we were together. Besides, how could we even think about being together? I was a freaking fairy, and she was a human!
"Ash!"
I jumped as Sam pulled me from my thoughts.
"I've been talking to you for, like, five minutes." He raised an eyebrow and studied me. "Maybe you should–"
I cut him off. "Don't ..."
"I'm just asking what's up."
"Well, don't. I'm fine."
"Sure you are," he said.
I grabbed his arm. "Hurry up. I'd rather be in our room when Shenelle finds out what happened. No need to cause another scene out here."
"You're so good at causing a scene though."
"I know," I muttered.
Chapter 14
Kendall
I got home from school, upset that Ash was still nowhere to be found. It had been almost a week since I'd seen him last. So, instead of sulking in my room the rest of the night, I took Cameron's offer to take me to dinner.
We went to a local restaurant. I ate chicken strips, complete with ranch dip and a plate of yummy fries.
Cameron had a salad.
I could just hear Ash calling him something rude. I knew he'd never order a salad.
After dinner, Cameron took me home. When he stopped the car, he didn’t make a move to get out. I reached over to open my door, but he started talking. “Thanks for coming with me.”
After an awkward moment of silence, Cameron leaned a little closer, putting his hand on mine.
“Look. I know you said you needed some time to think about us." He chuckled. "To be honest, I'm not sure what I did that made you need time in the first place."
"I'm not sure," I started. "I–"
Before I knew what was happening, he leaned in, touching his lips to mine. My eyes widened, but I didn't pull away.
The kiss was short and more than awkward. For me at least. He pulled back, a little hesitant.
I tried to smile. Tried to tell myself I'd waited two years for Cameron to kiss me. I wanted to say that I liked him still, but honestly, I didn't feel anything. He didn't ignite a spark anymore. There was nothing there. I thought about Ash. There were very strong feelings there that I didn't want to admit. I couldn't help thinking about how it would be to kiss him.
"Um, Kendall?"
I jumped, realizing Cameron had been waiting for me to say something while I sat and daydreamed about Ash.
"Sorry." I gave Cameron a small smile.
"Everything okay?"
No. It wasn't. "Yes. Thanks for dinner."
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.
Before he could try to kiss me again, I hopped out and went into the house.
I needed a drink of water, so I started for the kitchen. I had a lot to think about, now that I felt my relationship with Cameron was basically over. Cameron was boring. And not my type. Now I had to figure out how to tell him that without being so blunt.
I turned on the light and realized I wasn't alone. Ash sat at the counter on a barstool. His usual easy smile was gone. He had the same look in his eyes the night he flung Cameron in the pool. He was furious.
"Have a nice date?" His voice carried an edge I'd never heard before. It took me a moment to answer.
"Yeah," I said, slowly. "It was fun. Cameron took me to dinner."
"That was nice of him."
"What? What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"It's nothing." He stood, walking around the table, pushing chairs in as he went.
"No, something's wrong."
He let out a breath and put his hands on his hips. "Has he ever asked you to go to dinner?"
I'm not sure why, but I could feel my temper creeping in. I thought about it. He never really did take me out much. "No, but ..."
"I don't know how you can't see it," he said.
My blood was boiling now, and I couldn't stop myself. "What is this about, Ash? Why do you always have something bad to say about Cameron? He's a good guy. He's nice!"
"Nice?" He took a step closer. "That's it?"
"What do you want me to say? I'm tired of you turning him into some kind of creep!"
"He is a creep, Kendall!" He threw up his hands. "Can't you see that? He doesn't care about you!"
I stiffened. "How can you know that?"
"Does he ever ask you how you're doing? Call you just to talk?"
"No–"
"Does he know when your birthday is? Can he tell when you're having a bad day?"
I sighed. "What is this about, Ash? Why do you care so much?"
He shifted his weight and dropped his hands to his sides. "I just can't believe you'd want to be with someone like him."
I narrowed my eyes. "And why would you care?"
"You're my friend! Don't I have any say in who you go out with?"
"No! You can have an opinion, but you can't tell me who to date." I folded my arms.
He ran a hand through his hair, avoiding my eyes. "Well, I do have an opinion."
"Apparently."
"And a question."
I sighed. "Ask away." I wasn't sure what to think. He was always so carefree and funny. I'd never seen this side of him before.
He studied me, his jaw working. "Do you love him?"
I was surprised at how easily I answered. "No." I'd had a few boyfriends, but I'd never been in love for real.
He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. "Then why did you let him kiss you?"
I put my hands on my hips and stared him down. "You were spying on me?" I sounded as furious as I felt.
He shrugged. "Of course I was."
"I don't believe this." I turned and stalked away, tossing over my shoulder, "I should have known you'd do something like that. It's not like you have anything better to do."
"Kendall–" he started.
A realization hit me and I stopped, turning slowly around. "You're jealous."
He shook his head. "I am not." His eyes slid away from mine.
"Then why are you freaking out about this?"
"I'm not freaking out. I just don't see why you like him."
"I just do," I said.
"You deserve better, Kendall."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do. Trust me."
"Trust you? With what? My feelings? You have no idea how I feel."
He stood up a little straighter. "I may not know what you feel, but I know what I feel." His eyes smoldered as they bore into mine.
I looked away, not falling for any of his fairy tricks. "I'm just a project for you. An assignment. That's it."
"You really believe that?" he said, sounding hurt.
I folded my arms and blinked away threatening tears. "Have you shown me otherwise? All you do is appear everywhere I am, begging me to make my wishes. That's all you care about."
He shook his head. A pained look crossed his features. "That isn't true. It may have been at first, but not now."
"Why should I believe you?"
He was silent for a moment. "I don't know," he said.
"Whatever." I turned and started for the door. "You don't give a crap about me. All you care about is yourself. About being a sandman. I don't even know why I bother. You'd think that–"
I felt his hand on my shoulder, pulling me to a stop. He spun me around and pressed me back against the kitchen wall, his face inches from mine. My heart was beating so fast I was sure I'd die of a heart attack at any moment.
"You don't know what you're talking about," he growled.
It took a moment for me to speak. "Then explain it to me," I whispered, trying not to lose my hold on reality. He was so close. Too close.
His eyes bore into mine. "Fine," he said. "I am jealous. Happy?"
"No," I said.
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