“I love you, too.”
She stepped back and grabbed her bouquet. “I’m ready.”
She couldn’t wait to meet Luke at the altar.
* * *
Luke stood at the end of the long white-draped aisle bordered by their closest friends and family, nervous and anxious to see his bride.
His mom and dad sat in the front row just in front of him.
Margaret sat up front on the bride’s side along with Sarah’s stepmother, Norah.
The music began and Luke smiled at the boys coming down the aisle dressed in matching black pants, white dress shirts, and red ties, pulling Jamie in a red wagon as she dropped handfuls of red rose petals along the aisle. She looked adorable in her red dress, ruby slippers to match, and a red bow in her hair.
Trish and Brett gave her a wave as she passed their seats.
Sarah had come a long way in accepting Trish into her life. She’d fallen for Jamie. Sarah couldn’t not love the little girl, who stole her heart. Every time she saw the boys with Jamie, her eyes lit up with joy.
Sarah and Trish found common ground in the kids and were building a friendship around the fact that they both wanted to be good mothers to their children.
Jason led Michelle down the aisle and took his place as best man next to Luke. Michelle stood across from them as one of Sarah’s bridesmaids.
Tyler and Bridget came next and took their spots.
And then stood Abby alone at the end of the aisle in a navy-blue gown matched to go with Michelle’s and Bridget’s. She held a bouquet of white calla lilies wrapped in a red ribbon.
He’d gotten to know Sarah’s best friend these last few weeks as they planned the wedding. Abby seemed all too willing to work with his chef friend on the menu. They seemed close, and he and Sarah were guessing there was a budding romance between them.
Abby gave him a wink when she reached the altar and took her place as maid of honor.
The music stopped for a second before the wedding march began to play.
And then Sarah appeared on her father’s arm like a goddess at the end of the flower-strewn aisle.
Luke lost his breath and his heart stopped for a moment.
He’d never seen a more beautiful woman, let alone a bride. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she walked down the aisle, her gaze locked with his, a soft smile on her rosy lips.
Her father placed Sarah’s hand in his, and he felt like he’d been bestowed the greatest gift in the world. “You’re simply gorgeous.”
She put her hand to the knot in his tie and wiggled it. “You clean up good, cowboy.”
Yeah, she’d always liked the rancher a little more than the lawyer in him.
He laughed, and so did everyone else, and just like that all the tension went out of him. If possible, he fell a little more in love with her for knowing just how to make him relax and settle into this amazing moment.
They stood before their family and recited their vows. They spoke of love and friendship and vowed that no matter what, family came first.
Luke sealed those promises with a diamond eternity band, letting Sarah know his love was forever.
Sarah placed two gold bands on his finger that locked together to make one ring. One a thin gold band, the other a gold band with five diamonds across the top. Luke could take off the diamond band when he was working on the ranch and only wear the gold one.
“You may kiss your bride.”
Luke didn’t hesitate. He took Sarah’s face in both hands and planted a steamy, but respectable, kiss on her. He leaned back for a second and said, “Mrs. Thompson.”
He never expected her to take his name, but when she said she wanted it, his heart grew too heavy for his chest.
He kissed her again when the justice of the peace introduced them as Mr. and Mrs. Thompson.
They turned to their well-wishers and family and hand in hand smiled for everyone.
He walked his bride back down the aisle and straight to the raised temporary dance floor surrounded by tables covered in white linen, set with silver-trimmed white dishes, red napkins, silver place settings, and crystal glasses. Each table had a round bowl overflowing with red roses. Lights were strung on poles around the backyard garden, their shine barely breaking through at twilight, but they’d cast a soft glow once the sun fully set.
He walked Sarah up the two steps to the center of the dance floor and pulled her into his arms.
“Sing me our song, sweetheart.”
She gave him a dazzling smile, looked into his eyes, and began to sing. Off to one side of the dance floor, a string quartet began to play along.
Jason and Michelle joined in, then his parents and hers, and then everyone else, just like the night they’d danced in the kitchen, but this time he and Sarah were husband and wife.
Another perfect moment.
After dinner was served and cleared, Jason stood up to give the customary best man toast before they cut the decadent white chocolate cake.
“When I met Sarah for the first time, it was obvious she’d fallen for Luke. She knew he was a lawyer, but liked him better as a rancher, because the lawyer annoyed her with too many questions. Still, she saw the real man, the one his family and closest friends know and love. That’s the guy she loved. Luke had no idea Sarah was a genius. I mean, she fell for him, she had to have at least one screw loose.”
Everyone laughed, including Sarah and Luke.
“Luke saw a woman who believed in the truth, helping others, and above all being the best mother she could be. She showed him a heart filled with kindness and love and a future filled with all the things Luke wanted. A partner. A family. A life like the one we’d known growing up here.” Jason held his glass up to Luke. “You have it all. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness together. Congratulations. Welcome to the family, Sarah.” Jason turned to the table next to theirs. “Welcome Jack and Nick. We are blessed to have you all as part of the Thompson family.”
They all raised their glasses and drank to the happy couple.
Sarah stood up next to Luke and held his gaze, surprising him that she had something to say.
“Thank you for this wonderful day. Everything is perfect. You’ve given me so many gifts. Flowers. Dancing. The beautiful jewelry.” She touched the necklace that he had given her and then picked up his hand and held it. “No gift compares to the love you show me every single day. And today, I have a very special gift to share with you.” She held up her flowers. “When we ordered the flowers, we thought it special to request four roses in my wedding bouquet. One for you, me, Jack, and Nick. But—”
“Mommy, there are five red roses, not four,” Jack shouted. “I counted them.”
Sarah’s eyes teared up and she laughed. “Yes, honey, I know.” She turned back to Luke and placed his hand on her belly and looked at him with her eyes filled with love. “The fifth one is for baby Thompson. You’re going to be a father.” She looked at their two boys and then back to him. “Again.”
“Are you serious? You’re pregnant? We’re having a baby?”
“Yes. We’re having a baby.” She ran a hand down the side of his face. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him. He kissed her stomach and then stood and kissed her. He held her tight and she didn’t even care that he was practically crushing her.
Everyone clapped and cheered around them.
Luke held her away from him and stared into her eyes, his filled with wonder and excitement. “I . . . I can’t believe this. I’m . . . ecstatic. You’re carrying our child. Are you okay?”
“Yes. You’ve made me so happy.”
He cupped her face and kissed her softly. “I will always find a way to make you happy.”
She believed him. And he did.
Reading Group Guide
Sarah manages to have a big job and raise her children. In what ways are women expected to do both competently while men are sometimes given more latitude with regard to balancing their work life and their fa
mily life?
Is Sarah doing herself a disservice by putting herself in the background publicly? Why do you feel she insists on this intense privacy?
At the start of the novel, Margaret refuses to see her son, Sean, in anything but a perfect light. Why do you think sometimes parents are willing to overlook or ignore terrible behavior in their children?
Do you feel sorry for Margaret? Why or why not?
At one point Luke comments on people who “care more about money” than anything else, even family. Why do you think people grow to have that perspective? What is it that makes some people value wealth over everything else?
Sarah is taken by Sean when she is younger, helping him succeed, even marrying him and saving his business. Why are women so apt to behave this way?
Margaret has been married three times and seems to think nothing of it, essentially living off her spouses. Yet, she condemns Sarah for making her own way in business. Why do you think this double standard still exists?
At the start of the novel Luke bemoans the fact that most of the women he’s met are opportunistic and after his money. Yet it stands to reason he chose these women to begin with. What in his character might make him find women like this initially appealing?
Luke has a fair amount of loyalty to Sean and his memory, even though they had ceased truly being close years before. Are there people in your life who you are loyal to more because of history than present-day friendship?
Sarah withholds the truth about Sean, their marriage, his involvement at the company, and even covers up the details surrounding the accident that killed him. Is it sometimes better to lie or withhold the truth for the sake of the feelings of others, as Sarah does with Margaret about Sean? Or, are lies always bad things?
The original title of the novel was Lies and Family Ties. Are family ties sometimes based on lies? And what do you think of this title?
Acknowledgments
Thank you to my wonderfully talented and amazing editor, Lucia Macro, for finding the heart of this story in the rough draft of a story I’d written a long time ago. The rewrite you proposed seemed like a daunting task, but it was so worth it. You knew there was more here than what I’d put on the page. It was a lot of hard work during a pandemic, but you stuck with me—like you always do—and Sarah and Luke got the love story I wanted for them.
About the Author
JENNIFER RYAN, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author, writes suspenseful contemporary romances about everyday people who do extraordinary things. Her deeply emotional love stories are filled with high stakes and higher drama, love, family, friendship, and the happily-ever-after we all hope to find. Jennifer lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and three children. When she finally leaves those fictional worlds, you’ll find her in the garden, playing in the dirt, and daydreaming about people who live only in her head, until she puts them on paper.
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Endorsements
Praise for The Me I Used to Be
“Jennifer Ryan takes family drama to a new level in this tangled emotional web of a novel. Secrets come to light, love is rekindled, and redemption is found—all in the glorious golden sunshine of the Napa Valley. I loved it!”
— Susan Wiggs, New York Times bestselling author
“The Me I Used to Be is Jennifer Ryan at the height of her storytelling best. Page-turning, powerful, with high-stakes drama and unforgettable romance. I couldn’t put it down!”
— Jill Shalvis, New York Times bestselling author
“Gripping and emotionally compelling, The Me I Used to Be is a beautiful story of losing yourself, starting over against all odds, and coming out triumphant. I was hooked from page one!”
— Lori Foster, New York Times bestselling author
“Ryan (Dirty Little Secret) delivers an intoxicating blend of hair-raising suspense, betrayal, and true love with this gripping contemporary set in the rich vineyards of Napa Valley. . . . Ryan’s fans will devour this outstanding tale, as will the many new readers she’s bound to win.”
— Publishers Weekly (starred review)
Praise for Sisters and Secrets
“Jennifer Ryan’s Sisters and Secrets should win an award for being the most unputdownable book of the whole year. The drama will keep you on the edge of your seat, and the emotional roller coaster will touch every emotion.”
— Carolyn Brown, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author
“Sibling rivalry comes to a head in a masterpiece of family and secrets.”
— Fresh Fiction
Also by Jennifer Ryan
Stand-alone Novels
Sisters and Secrets
The Me I Used to Be
The McGraths Series
True Love Cowboy
Love of a Cowboy
Waiting on a Cowboy
Wild Rose Ranch Series
Tough Talking Cowboy
Restless Rancher
Dirty Little Secret
Montana Heat Series
Tempted by Love
True to You
Escape to You
Protected by Love
Montana Men Series
His Cowboy Heart
Her Renegade Rancher
Stone Cold Cowboy
Her Lucky Cowboy
When It’s Right
At Wolf Ranch
The McBrides Series
Dylan’s Redemption
Falling for Owen
The Return of Brody McBride
The Hunted Series
Everything She Wanted
Chasing Morgan
The Right Bride
Lucky Like Us
Saved by the Rancher
Short Stories
“Close to Perfect”
(appears in Snowbound at Christmas)
“Can’t Wait”
(appears in All I Want for Christmas Is a Cowboy)
“Waiting for You”
(appears in Confessions of a Secret Admirer)
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
lost and found family. Copyright © 2021 by Jennifer Ryan. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
first edition
Title page image © Dmytro Mykhailov/Shutterstock, Inc.
Cover design by Mimi Bark
Cover photographs © Susan Fox/Trevillion Images (woman); © ILNA SIMEONOVA/Trevillion Images (fence); © Getty Images; © Shutterstock
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.
Digital Edition JULY 2021 ISBN: 978-0-06-300352-1
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-300351-4
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