A long time passes while I’m waiting by their front door when I hear Kiran’s voice behind me.
“What are you doing?” I jump and turn back toward him. It’s sickening how gorgeous he is. Every time I see one of his tattoos on his bulky arms, I want to run my fingers and possibly even my tongue along them. But that’s never going to happen. He’s made that very clear.
“Hello, Belle?” he says, waving his hand in front of me.
“Oh, I’m going to work,” I sweetly add.
“Work?” he repeats, narrowing his eyes.
I see my cab pulling up their driveway just in time.
“Yep, it’s been days since I’ve been able to go out and spend Daddy’s money. I’m behind schedule but don’t worry your cute little face about that. I’ll get all caught up today.” I give him a cynical laugh before turning around and walking out the door.
****
I spent the whole day exploring Denver. Outside of two meals, the only thing I purchased was a prepaid smartphone. I spent hours at a coffee shop programming it and reading anything I could on Damian.
Several articles stated that a few men are claimed to be dead after a raid in Tijuana went bad. One report even claims that an American DEA officer was killed, but sources aren’t clear which cartel was involved.
Just because Damian was in Tijuana during the time of this raid doesn’t mean he was involved. Damian Paasch loves having a front row seat when someone else is being taken down. If he had any information about something going on, he’d have his ass there at a moment’s notice.
He must have anticipated that something could go wrong. That has to be why he wrote down my escape route before he left, but why? Damian is smart, too smart for his own good, and he’d never willingly walk into something he knew might go bad, especially if he thought there would be a chance I’d be left alone.
My anger starts to take a back seat to the pain I suddenly feel. No matter what anyone thinks, Damian is my father and I love him. It’s been over a week and a half since I’ve seen or spoken to him or his men, and that has never once happened in my twenty-one years of life.
With a heavy heart, I leave the coffee shop and get in a cab and head back to Kate’s house. When I get to the front door, I stop. Do I knock or just walk in? Other than when I arrived, this is the first time I’ve used the front door without Kate accompanying me.
I’m about to raise my hand to knock when I hear Kate shout something. I instantly open the door then walk in.
I can hear Kate’s voice along with Gavin and Kiran’s but none of them has seen me.
“I cannot believe you said that to her. Kiran, what were you thinking?” Kate hisses.
“Babe, chill. He was only joking,” Gavin replies.
“Did she take it as a joke? Huh, Kiran, did she?” Kate snaps back.
I can’t hear Kiran and while the guy has acted like a jerk to me, I don’t want him to get in trouble with his friends—especially over me. I force my feet to move and I walk around the corner and into the kitchen with a huge smile on my face.
“Hey. What’s going on?” All three of them stop and look at me as if they’ve seen a ghost.
“Oh my God. Where have you been?” Kate says with concern dripping from her tone as she walks over and stops in front of me.
“I went out,” I reply as smoothly as possible.
“Out? Out where?” she questions.
“Exploring. Denver is a beautiful city. I can’t believe all of the amazing things you can do here,” I add with another smile.
Kate is wearing a confused look while both Gavin and Kiran are watching me like I’m guilty of something.
“You went exploring for ten hours without telling anyone where you were going? Kiran said he thought you were going to the mall,” Kate says.
My stomach starts to tighten at the thought that Kate already cares enough about me to worry. Other than Damian and Manuel, the only other people who’ve ever expressed concern for me have been on my father’s payroll.
“I’m sorry. I...I didn’t think it would matter,” I whisper.
Kate’s nose scrunches. “Of course it would matter. You’re a part of my family and in a new city all by yourself. Please, Belle...don’t take off like that again without telling someone where you’re going,” she pleads.
“I won’t. I’m sorry,” I quickly say.
Gavin walks up to Kate and wraps his arm around her shoulders then gives me a weak smile. “She’s back now, babe. Let’s go to bed,” he adds.
“Okay. Goodnight, you two,” Kate says before walking off with Gavin, leaving me alone with Kiran.
I look him directly in his blue eyes, waiting for something...anything, but he remains quiet until I turn to leave the room.
“I’m sorry,” he softly says.
My eyes thin. “For what?”
Kiran sighs. “For making you feel unwelcome.”
I bite my lip, pondering what I should say. I didn’t leave because of Kiran, or at least not solely because of him, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was beyond rude to me yesterday.
“I went out today because I was sick of being stuck in this house doing nothing all day. Contrary to what you believe about me, I do have a life and it includes doing a lot more than just sitting on my ass day in and day out.”
“I’m sorry. I never meant to imply—”
“Yes you did, and that’s okay. I’m used to it. I’ll admit...I thought things would be different here, but it’s fine. You have your world and I don’t belong in it. I’ll get back to mine as soon as possible.” I walk out of the kitchen without Kiran saying another word. When I make it to my room, I pull out my phone and go straight to the site I’ve saved in my favorites.
I click around until I find what I’m looking for.
Ms. Bello,
Unfortunately, we can’t allow you to start late. If you’re unable to turn in your first assignment by the deadline, then I recommend that you take the semester off.
You can contact our registration office to withdraw.
Sincerely,
Janet Wilson,
Student Affairs
My heart sinks. I wish I had some idea how long I’ll be stuck in this godforsaken place.
My father thinks I’m weak, and the reason I know this is because that’s exactly how he treats me. It was too dangerous for me to attend school. For that reason, I was homeschooled along with the helps’ children. My best friend—my only real friend—happens to be Manuel, the son of Miguel Ramos, my father’s second in command.
Manuel is only a year older than I am and almost all of my childhood memories include him. To be honest, he’s the reason I don’t completely hate my life in Poza Rica.
When I turned eighteen, I had every intention to go to college. However, Daddy shot down my plans without a second thought. Damian has tried to make the world forget he has a child—one that could be used as leverage if the situation presented itself. As a result, he refuses to allow my name to circulate for no real reason. That was the first day I walked out of Damian’s office with a shattered heart. A few hours later, Manuel found me and promised to help.
Thanks to Manuel and a fake ID, I enrolled in an online college. I won’t be able to claim my education after I graduate, but I’m still earning it.
Damian has provided me with a lavish lifestyle, but I want more for myself than his money can provide. He pays men to do nothing but watch my every move. Luckily, my full-time babysitters watch me from a safe distance and never look too deep into what I’m actually doing.
I’ve learned the skill of working around Damian’s men when I need to, but I wouldn’t have made it as far as I have without Manuel.
Like Callie and Kate, my classes are about to begin. Without my computer and dedicated time, there’s no way I can start, but I hate to withdraw until I’m positive that Damian isn’t going to sweep in and take me home.
In the meantime, I’m going to hope for something I never
thought I would: to return to Poza Rica, and soon.
****
The next morning, I hear the house come alive. Callie was talking rather loudly, and judging from the sounds and smells, I think the four of them got up and had breakfast.
I waited until the house quieted before I got up then went downstairs for something to drink. By the looks of it, I think I’m home alone. I round the bottom of the stairs without seeing anyone until I walk into the kitchen and spot Kiran sitting at the table with a laptop open in front of him.
Tentatively, I stop wondering if he spotted me yet, but he quickly turns his head toward me.
“Good morning,” he says in a chipper voice that sends my guard up.
“Morning.” I continue my journey to the fridge for a bottle of water. The whole time, I feel Kiran’s eyes following my every movement.
“Everyone was really worried about you yesterday,” Kiran adds in a consoling tone, which I find annoying. Everyone wasn’t worried about me, Kate was. Because Kate was upset, she made her concern Gavin and Kiran’s problem.
I decide it’s best to ignore him and head back upstairs to my room. However, Kiran starts talking to me again as if we’re suddenly long lost friends.
“The three of them went out to get Callie’s school supplies. They should be back in a few hours, but Kate left you a plate of food from breakfast.”
I’m not hungry. I should be because the last thing I ate was a bagel at the coffee shop I was in all night.
“Unless you’re hiding food in your room, you have to be hungry. Eat please,” he adds, echoing my thoughts.
My back is to him as I try to decide what to say. Life would definitely be easier for me, and especially for Kate, if Kiran and Gavin like me, but I’m not sure where I truly stand with either of them. Is Kiran being nice because Kate was upset with him last night or does he honestly feel bad for the way he’s acted?
I hear Kiran sigh with frustration. “I feel like you’re purposely avoiding being downstairs and...I want you to feel comfortable here.”
I turn as Kiran gives me a half-smile, almost as if he’s uncomfortable around me.
“I’m not avoiding you. Or ...” I trail off, hating the fact that I’m lying.
“Maybe I am,” I nervously add while I shift from one foot to the other. “I’m used to people judging me but feeling unwanted is a new emotion.”
Kiran’s eyes flash from my comment. “I didn’t mean—”
“No, it’s okay. I’m never around men who aren’t on my father’s payroll and when I first looked at you...it felt like my heart actually skipped a beat.” I swallow down my embarrassment and force myself to continue. “When I heard you talking about me when you thought I wasn’t around, I wasn’t mad. I get it. I’m trouble—the kind you don’t want in your life. The kind nobody wants in their life.” I chuckle as his eyes narrow, but he holds my stare.
“If it makes you feel better, I’m just as ready to leave as you are for me to go.” My voice cracked when I spoke. I’ve already said more than I intended. I need to get out of here before I embarrass myself further.
“If you see Kate, tell her thank you for breakfast, but I’m not hungry.” I quickly head back up to my bedroom before he can say anything else.
****
“Knock knock,” I sing as I push open the door to Daddy’s office. I turn toward his desk and gasp.
“Belle,” Daddy says in warning. I usually wait until he tells me I can come in, but his door wasn’t closed tight. My stomach twists when I see Daddy holding a gun against a man’s temple.
“I’ll go,” I announce before turning and racing out of his office. I run up the stairs to my bedroom where I lock myself in my bathroom. I see guns all the time. I’ve even heard rumors about what’s happened to some of our staff that’s just up and quit, but I’ve never seen Daddy point a gun at someone before.
Tears start falling down my face as I hear a knock at my door. “Belle.” My hand shakes as I wipe my cheek. “Open the door now, Belle.” Daddy’s voice is stern and I know he’s mad at me. I reach out and unlock the door. Daddy pushes it open and steps in front of me. His eyes look furious as his chest rises and falls. I cast my eyes down in fear of the unknown.
I hear him sigh. “Belle, you need to knock before you come into my office. You know that.” I know the rules, but Daddy always keeps the door closed when he’s with someone.
“I thought...I thought ...” I whimper as my eyes fill with more tears.
“Baby, come here.” My eyes dart to his when I hear how gentle his voice suddenly is. He’s holding his arms open, and without hesitation, I melt into his embrace. Daddy runs his fingers through my hair, causing me to relax even more. “My office is off limits until you’ve been told you can come in. Are we clear, Belle?” I nod my head without looking at him.
“Who loves you to the moon and back?”
I smile into his chest. “You do, Daddy.” I know Daddy loves me, but today is the first time I’ve questioned who my father really is.
****
The next two days pass and I barely leave my room. I think I’m upsetting Kate, but I can’t bring myself to give a damn. Kate is a good person. I hardly know her, but I know that much. I only wish I was here to visit her and not because my father forced me on her and her friends.
When Monday night rolls around, I slip downstairs long after everyone else had dinner—a meal I once again skipped—to find something to eat.
I grab a bowl of grapes and I walk out by the pool, wishing like hell I could jump in and do a few laps. Swimming is just another thing Damian has put on hold in my life.
I’m beyond pissed at him, but I’m equally scared. His disappearance from my life is unnerving and not at all like him. I’ve been trying my best not to think about it, but the fact that something has happened to him has finally set in.
“Beautiful night.” I jump when I hear Kiran’s voice behind me. Instead of answering him, I keep my eyes focused on the pool, but as luck would have it, Kiran drops down in the chair next to me.
I want to scurry away and run back up to my room because the embarrassment I felt the other day is back.
“Why haven’t you gone swimming again?” he softly questions.
I sigh in frustration. Under normal circumstances, I think Kiran and I could have been friends. Then again, normal isn’t a word that usually applies to my life.
“Kate and Gavin won’t mind if you use their pool.” I’m confused about what to say, so I remain silent. After several minutes pass without either of us saying anything, I start to get up, which has Kiran reaching out for my hand.
“I’m sorry, okay? I was a dick and you have every right to hate me, but I’m asking you to give me the chance to show you I’m not normally an asshole.”
I look up from our joined hands to his face, and I’m shocked at how sincere he appears. Instead of answering him, I nod my head yes. Getting along with my current roommates will definitely make staying here easier on everyone.
“Good. Now promise me you won’t hole up in your room all the time and continue to skip meals. I can’t stand the idea that you’re starving yourself because I went off half-cocked and was an asshole.” Again, I see concern sketched across his face.
Slowly, I pull my hand back but continue looking at him. “I wasn’t hiding out in my room.” Kiran’s brows scrunch together while he gives me a look that clearly states he doesn’t believe me. “Okay, I was a little, but what I meant was at home, I often spent hours at a time in my room alone. I’m used to it.” I shrug.
I can see the questions in Kiran’s eyes. “Is it not safe for you unless you’re in your room?”
I let a small laugh slip out. “Damian’s home is beyond safe. I’m safer there than anywhere else in the world, but ...”
Not knowing where Damian is or if he’s safe has me apprehensive about what I should or shouldn’t say. I bring my eyes back to Kiran’s to find him studying me.
“My fat
her loves me, I’ve never doubted that, but at times, his love can be suffocating. I live in a house where twenty or thirty people come and go daily, but I go weeks without talking to more than two or three people.”
This time, when I look at Kiran, I see pity in his eyes, and I have to restrain myself from getting mad because his pity is the last thing I want.
“I’m sorry. That’s pretty shitty,” he says.
“Yeah, but that’s life. You win some, you lose some, or do you Americans say ‘That’s how the cookie crumbles?’ ” Kiran chuckles, a real honest to goodness laugh that brings a smile to my face.
“I don’t know about crumbling cookies, but I get what you’re trying to say.” I take a step toward the house but stop when I notice how Kiran is staring at me. If I was more experienced, I might say he’s looking at me the way a guy does when he’s interested in a woman, but after the last few days, I can’t be positive.
“I better get to bed. I’ll see you later,” I breathily say.
I take another step closer to the house as Kiran reaches out and grabs my hand again. “I’ll see you tomorrow because you aren’t going to spend the whole day trapped in your room,” he challenges with a gorgeous smile.
My heart starts thumping hard in my chest. I can’t help my excitement over the idea that he wants to see me, even if he’s only being friendly. I can only hope his sudden change in attitude isn’t because he feels sorry for me.
“See you tomorrow.”
Kiran finally drops my hand, allowing me to walk away. Once I’m back in my room, I break out in a huge smile. Kiran might not look at me the way I would want a man to, but he appears willing to be my friend, and that’s more than I had yesterday.
Belle
I awoke from a nightmare I had about Damian. In my dream, he never returned for me...because he was dead. I grab my phone and search his name. Again, I don’t find anything online that would make me believe he’s not alive.
Manuel’s father, Miguel, stayed in Poza Rica when we left for our trip to ensure Damian’s business continued to run like normal in his absence. Even though Miguel wasn’t with us, he has to have an idea of what’s going on—meaning Manuel probably does as well. Tracing calls and locations is one of the easiest things to do, which means calling Manuel isn’t a good idea—but my need to know that Damian is okay overrides my reason.
Locked Away (Living With Lies Book 2) Page 4